So speaking of children

[whoisjohngalt]

I need to come up with some "chores" for my 3.5 yr old

My 5 yr old has only one - to clean the table after each meal.  He pretty much forgets every single time.  But once you tell him, he goes and does it.

My goal at this point not really to get help with housework, but to teach that we all have to do something regularly.  I think it builds foundation to having discipline as an adult.

Things that have been suggested that are not working for *me* right now - making beds and putting toys away at the end of the day.

So, any ideas?

[Sam_2.0]

Ughghg, angry bear.

I found this chart that seemed helpful: www.webmd.com/parenting/features/chores-for-children?page=2

[cronewitch]

Feeding a cat. Cat will quickly learn to remind the child persistently. Setting the table since the other child clears you could start with just silverware and napkins if he can't reach plates and bowls.

[Sam_2.0]

Aly is 2.5. Some of her "chores" are:
1) picking up toys before bed time. I help usually.
2) putting her dirty clothes in the hamper in the hallway
3) throwing away her diaper after changes, since she refuses to even consider the potty now
4) feeding the dog and the fish (with help)
5) unloading the dishwasher - she puts the items all on the counter for me to put away, but she likes to help
6) putting the silverware away. Works on her matching skills too and keeps her occupied long enough for me to get the other dishes all put away.
7) putting her shoes away and hanging up her coat when we come home

[Spellbound454]

They used to do odd jobs, sweep up the leaves, sort their washing, out clear up their rooms.
They were expected to help clear the table, in our house or when visiting.(good manners)
...and offer help to carry shopping...cases....unpacking.
or muck in when there was a big job....redecorating.

They were supposed to look after their animals....(guinea pigs)....but I generally got that job as they would forget.

 

[sesfw]

One thing .... pushing the chairs back in place while older brother clears the table.  The kids learn to work together.

[Sharon]

Folding towels from the laundry. 
Putting their own clothes away after laundry- or at least the ones that go into drawers.

[Wisconsin Beth]

sweeping/vacuuming - my son loves it.

matching socks.

[whoisjohngalt]

Will I sound totally ungrateful if those don't help me much?

The pet turtle would die (and it was an expensive turtle) if I trusted those two
I don't want them anywhere near dishwasher, they would be enjoying it too much.
Same goes for anything water related and "real" cleaning such as vacuuming, dusting, etc

They already put away laundry and help with anything shopping related.  

I need something daily and not fun.  Like bringing dirty dishes to the counter is not fun and has to be done daily and can be done quickly.  I need something like that.

[gs11rmb]

Setting the table for dinner.  I had to do that and hated it!

[whoisjohngalt]

OK, so I think I am going to do  - setting the table and cleaning the table.  And since we are using non-breakable dishes, it should work fine.

thank you ladies

[Sam_2.0]

Lena - you could have them make cute placemats so they learn how to set the table. There are some great templates available online. I like this one: themaryfrancesproject.blogspot.com/2011/09/montessori-activities-and-placemat.html Then you could have them set out the mats and figure out what items they need to put on the table instead of needing to be reminded by you each time.

And now that I've seen them, I think I need to make a set of these: punkinpattern.blogspot.com/2011/03/table-setting-placemat.html . With a blank patterned side on the back so we can flip them over for adult dinners.

[Formerly SK]

Nov 27, 2013 12:48:53 GMT -5 Sam_2.0 said:

Lena - you could have them make cute placemats so they learn how to set the table. There are some great templates available online. I like this one: themaryfrancesproject.blogspot.com/2011/09/montessori-activities-and-placemat.html Then you could have them set out the mats and figure out what items they need to put on the table instead of needing to be reminded by you each time.

And now that I've seen them, I think I need to make a set of these: punkinpattern.blogspot.com/2011/03/table-setting-placemat.html . With a blank patterned side on the back so we can flip them over for adult dinners.

I had this picture taped to our dining room wall for awhile until the kids got it down:

www.google.com/search?q=place+setting+template&client=firefox-a&hs=zdT&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=1GSWUtOdMoaZiAL0wYGwBg&ved=0CC4QsAQ&biw=1440&bih=761#facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=wfhRfNX5lyfTWM%3A%3BCKd2DuhdtNwjKM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fimom.com%252Fimages%252Fthumbnails%252Ftools%252FiMOM_Everyday_Place_Setting.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Flittlewhitefencepreschool.blogspot.com%252F%3B600%3B483

[zibazinski]

My youngest emptied all the wastebaskets and her older brother dusted. I had a housekeeper because I worked so she came every two weeks and did the main stuff. I've always loved doing laundry so no one was allowed to help me.  They both kept their rooms tidy and made their beds as best they could. That's why I went to comforters because it'd be easier for them. Since they played outside most of the time, they didn't litter indoors much at all. We had tile floors in kitchen so anything that fell broke into a million pieces. Barefoot as we were most of the time, that wasnt cool so I handled dishes. Silverware they must have set along with napkins but I can't remember it age wise. I did it so they'd learn how a table should be set and what silver was to be used with what dish, like salad fork, stuff like that.

[grits]

My goodness. By the age of 5, we were vacuuming, folding towels, washing dishes by hand, cleaning the bath tub, cutting grass/pulling weeds, making our own bed, putting away our clean clothes, picking up our room. The list just goes on and on.

[NoNamePerson]

I need to come up with some "chores" for my 3.5 yr old

When my son was 3.5 yrs old his biggest chore was to occupy himself while I got stuff done. I guess I was a big failure as a mother back in the dark ages. Damn gotta wonder how he turned out as well as he did 

ETA: I guess I should add that by 5 he did have a chore or two but so long ago I can't remember what!!

[zibazinski]

Kids like to help. This gives them a sense of belonging to a family. I'd say enjoy it while it lasts. If they get in the habit of helping around the house, adding chores as they get older just seems normal. My kids still like to wallow in laundry fresh out of the dryer. Silly things!

[alabamagal]

Whatever I tell you to do.....

My middle son is ADD.  He did not know what day it is.  Still doesn't and he is 21.  So, if I ask you to do something, you do it.

I was very impressed that DS 21 when he was home for holidays.  I pulled the garbage out of the container and he siad "Do you want me to take that out""   YESSS I trained him right.

So don't focus on tasks, just do what you ask.

[whoisjohngalt]

Nov 29, 2013 9:46:53 GMT -5 grits said:

My goodness. By the age of 5, we were vacuuming, folding towels, washing dishes by hand, cleaning the bath tub, cutting grass/pulling weeds, making our own bed, putting away our clean clothes, picking up our room. The list just goes on and on.

Well, I am a "bit" older than 5 and I don't do half of those things.

[Deleted]

Things that have been suggested that are not working for *me* right now - making beds and putting toys away at the end of the day.

Lena, I've been curious about this statement for days. Is it because these tasks don't matter to you? 

I HATE mess / clutter, so those tasks were EXTREMELY important to me, so I helped (trained?) my kids to do them when they were little. Their beds were made, and their toys picked up, every single day. I made it pretty easy for them though, I bought different colored boxes from Ikea, and kept them within easy reach. The legos would go in one box, the keno in another box, the dolls in another box, etc. And they all had a "random" box for the extra bits. And then, like it or not, we'd go through ALL those Ikea boxes, and their clothes, and their desks, and their bookshelves, EVERY year. By doing it regularly, it never took that much time. Probably 2 days per kid, once a year (and I have four kids). 

Otherwise *I* couldn't sleep, LOL. 

There is nothing wrong with NOT doing that. We are all different, and I get that what matters to me doesn't necessarily matter to you. But, I am really curious as to why making the beds and putting away toys is "not working out for you", because for me, with four kids (I know you have three), it was the minimum I needed them to do without having to check myself into the nearest psychiatric unit LOL.

[Deleted]

My goodness. By the age of 5, we were vacuuming, folding towels, washing dishes by hand, cleaning the bath tub, cutting grass/pulling weeds, making our own bed, putting away our clean clothes, picking up our room. The list just goes on and on.

Well, I am a "bit" older than 5 and I don't do half of those things.

A few years ago my DS3 was invited to his friend's grandparents' house. They made him (yes, MADE HIM) and his friend use a chainsaw to chop up enough wood for their winter. When I heard that (thank Gd at the end of the week, with DS3 home and intact) I thought I would die. 

We don't all "live off the land" anymore, and walk uphill to school, both ways, in snow. 

This said, Lena, seriously, you really don't do half of that list? True confessions here, I have a cleaning lady every week. So, I rarely dust or vacuum or clean the bathrooms or iron, she does that. This said, I can and sometimes do still clean my entire house (2200 square feet) in four hours. (I don't iron, though, EVER.)

But I certainly still fold towels plus all the rest of our large amount of laundry, wash pots and pans (but not dishes) by hand, pull up weeds (but don't cut grass), make our bed, put away our clean clothes (not the kids' clothes anymore since they are older, I wash and fold them and leave their piles in front of their rooms for them to put away. If they don't, I "go on strike" and refuse to wash their clothes. But when they were younger I put their clothes away too). And I "pick up" our room, the LR, the DR, and the kitchen, Every. Single. Night. And I work, albeit PT (3 long days per week, and now I have marking to do.)

If you "train" your kids, it  only takes a few minutes a day to "pick up" theirs rooms, or the LR or DR. And it can be fun, you can do it together, you can put on music while you do it, or dance, or sing silly songs, or whatever. Raising kids who can't put their things away would be my idea of hell.

Alas, clearing up the kitchen always takes longer LOL. 

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Nov 27, 2013 11:46:33 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

I need to come up with some "chores" for my 3.5 yr old

My 5 yr old has only one - to clean the table after each meal.  He pretty much forgets every single time.  But once you tell him, he goes and does it.

My goal at this point not really to get help with housework, but to teach that we all have to do something regularly.  I think it builds foundation to having discipline as an adult.

Things that have been suggested that are not working for *me* right now - making beds and putting toys away at the end of the day.

So, any ideas?

Yeah, my 11yo and 15 yo forget stuff all the time. It's called children are lazy/clean house isn't important to them/children are self-centered (which is developmentally appropriate). I wouldn't worry about that. I just remind mine, and they generally take care of it. 

Why isn't putting away toys at the end of the day working for you? 

Also, I've found that just because I tell me kids to clean something doesn't mean they know how to clean it. "Go clean your room" is way too overwhelming of a direction for a kid under the age of 10 and sometimes even 12 or 13. "Pick up five toys" worked a lot better for me. Then, "pick up all of your books." 
"Okay, you're done with that, pick up all of your clothes". etc, etc. 

Whatever works.
Another thing I counted as a chore at 3.5 - 5 was brush teeth and hair.  I wanted to make sure that became a habit, so it went on their morning and evening lists pretty early. 

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Oh yes, like debt mentioned, we'd put on music and clean up bedrooms for the length of a song.
Again, it's a way of managing the time correctly and making the chore not so overwhelming. 
Doing the chores together is important, IMO. At that age, and even with my kids' ages, it's about teaching them how to do it not getting them to do it for me. 

[whoisjohngalt]

Nov 29, 2013 21:45:23 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

Nov 27, 2013 11:46:33 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

Yeah, my 11yo and 15 yo forget stuff all the time. It's called children are lazy/clean house isn't important to them/children are self-centered (which is developmentally appropriate). I wouldn't worry about that. I just remind mine, and they generally take care of it. 

Why isn't putting away toys at the end of the day working for you? 

Also, I've found that just because I tell me kids to clean something doesn't mean they know how to clean it. "Go clean your room" is way too overwhelming of a direction for a kid under the age of 10 and sometimes even 12 or 13. "Pick up five toys" worked a lot better for me. Then, "pick up all of your books." 
"Okay, you're done with that, pick up all of your clothes". etc, etc. 

Whatever works.
Another thing I counted as a chore at 3.5 - 5 was brush teeth and hair.  I wanted to make sure that became a habit, so it went on their morning and evening lists pretty early. 

There are a few reasons, but mostly bc I don't want to invest time in it at the end of the night.  It takes them a long time bc any time they pick up a toy, there is usually at least some play time that follows.  It's just me, putting three kids to bed most nights and I would rather spend most of the time reading books and talking to them in their rooms instead of becoming a drill sergeant and keep saying "put it away, pick it up", etc.

they are pretty good at putting things away when I ask them to and we have a family room that is about 95% is all their stuff, so I am OK (for now) not to have it a chore or a daily thing. 

[whoisjohngalt]

Nov 29, 2013 21:47:36 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

Oh yes, like debt mentioned, we'd put on music and clean up bedrooms for the length of a song.
Again, it's a way of managing the time correctly and making the chore not so overwhelming. 
Doing the chores together is important, IMO. At that age, and even with my kids' ages, it's about teaching them how to do it not getting them to do it for me. 

That's the thing, though, they do a lot of things. They do laundry bc it's fun for them.  Making their beds is fun for them.  So is sweeping the floor and washing dishes and washing sink in their bathroom.   My oldest doesn't let me put away his laundry anymore, he has to do it.  They try to make meals for themselves and even my 3.5 yr old can make lots of things.

I don't know, may be it's stupid, but they do it bc it's fun to them. I want them to do something that might not be as fun, but they have to do it.

I am going for "well, some things we have to do regardless of whether we want to or not" teachable moment

[Peace77]

If it seems like too much work, make a game of it.  

Set a kitchen timer and race it.  See if all the toys can be put away before it goes off.  A very small child could pick up for 3 minutes, a little older child for 5 or 10 minutes.   Don't save the chores until just before bed.  Pick up some before dinner or before bath.

Let the kids wear old socks and play clothes.  Let them have some soapy water and slide around on the kitchen floor.  It will be as good as mopped.  If you have just 1 child, join them in sliding on the floor.

Consider introducing your kid(s) to the House Fairy.  

[Sam_2.0]

Lena - your kids are old enough that a picture chore chart may be helpful. Something pretty simple that just shows what you want them to do that day. Like a picture of the table for setting the table. One idea I saw was a mom took pictures of the playroom when it was cleaned and everything in it's place, and then put those pictures up around the room as a visual reminder for the kids of what things would look like when they were finished. So maybe take a picture of the set table for your child that sets the table, and then take a picture of the cleared off table for the one who is supposed to clear it off. That way they can see what it looks like when the chore has been completed correctly and there's no nagging on your part to do all of the steps.

[tloonya]

Nov 29, 2013 9:46:53 GMT -5 grits said:

My goodness. By the age of 5, we were vacuuming, folding towels, washing dishes by hand, cleaning the bath tub, cutting grass/pulling weeds, making our own bed, putting away our clean clothes, picking up our room. The list just goes on and on.

Where? In orphanage?

[tloonya]

Dec 4, 2013 10:22:11 GMT -5 Sam_2.0 said:

Lena - your kids are old enough...

...TO BE LEFT ALONE to play and do kid's things...like making a mess for YOU, Lena to clean up!..try to beat heck out of each other...trow tantrum and exploring their sexuality...are you kidding me, work for 3 years old?

A serious question for Lena...have you breastfed them?

[Deleted]

Dec 4, 2013 12:31:30 GMT -5 tloonya said:

Nov 29, 2013 9:46:53 GMT -5 grits said:

My goodness. By the age of 5, we were vacuuming, folding towels, washing dishes by hand, cleaning the bath tub, cutting grass/pulling weeds, making our own bed, putting away our clean clothes, picking up our room. The list just goes on and on.

Where? In orphanage?