Lunch with my granddaughter yesterday.

[Gardening Grandma]

For those who don't know me well, I have a developmentally disabled granddaughter.  She turned 20 yesterday.  My son and I picked her up (school was dismissed at noon) and took her to a pancake house for lunch.  She loves going out to eat.  We enjoyed a simple lunch then stopped so I could pick up a shoe organizer and some pants hangers for her closet.  

After we took her back home ("home" is a group home where she has 2 other housemates and 2 daytime caregivers), my son assembled the shoe organizer and she put all her shoes in it.  I hung her pants on the pants hangers giving her closet a more organized look. (She is very neat - almost obsessively so).

Her caregiver said cake and ice cream were planned for a little after dinner celebration with her housemates.

It was a simple, yet very enjoyable day.  She has had a very rough time of it for the last 6-8 years.  She used to have violet temper tantrums and obsessive, almost autistic habits (avoiding eye contact and any physical contact, rocking, etc).  Her meds have been slowly decreased the last year and she seems to be responding very well.  No temper tantrums in months, she is happy and animated.  I am both astonished and pleased at the change.

Just wanted to share...    

[swamp]

[Sam_2.0]

So glad you all had a great day together Happy Birthday to your granddaughter!!

[Deleted]

So glad you had a great day! 

Adolescence is is a challenging transition for everyone. Even more so if one is less able to understand and deal with the changes, urges and emotions of that awkward time. I hope things continue to improve for her as she settles into her young adult life. 

Is she capable of working? 

[mollyanna58]

Sounds like a wonderful day for everyone

[Gardening Grandma]

Thanks!

Is she capable of working?

If you had asked me that a year ago, I'd have said, "No way". But now I am hoping that they will be able to find some kind of productive work for her (either part time work or volunteering) after she ages out of the school system. I believe she can go another year.

She is non verbal (she can hear and understand most of what you say, but responds only with signs) so that is a real issue when considering what she might be able to do. Also, she isn't always good about following directions...

I think she might be able to do something involving sorting, stacking.  As I mentioned earlier, she is almost compulsively neat.  But she does need a lot of supervision, so I don't know.  It sure would be wonderful, however, if she could find a meaningful way to fill the day.

[The Captain]

Sometimes the most pleasurable things in life are the simplest ones.  I'm very happy for all your family she is showing significant progress.

[greeniis10]

Well, according toTLC (and probably other TV networks) there are a plethora of hoarders out there.  It would be nice if she could put her organizing skills to use when they send in those teams of people to start the de-cluttering and organizing process!  (I mean after the initial grossness is gone; wouldn't want her in that ugly environment to begin with).  Glad you all enjoyed your day!

[Deleted]

Yes, school till 21. 

Around here we have a sheltered workshop. The people who work there make hangers I believe, and have supervision. We also have services that provide job coaches for those who can transition into less sheltered environment. 

I'm sure there is a transition plan in place for her, and that her group home knows what resources are available. 

Sometimes there are setbacks... After all, we all have them But it sounds like she has some great support. 

[sheilaincali]

I sent you a link to a local foundation where I live that provides training, education and employment opportunities for developmentally disabled adults.  I'm not sure if your area has something similar or not.  It seems to be a pretty decent company with a good reputation.  (This is in the event your Grand Daughter decides to work after she has finished her schooling).

I'm glad you had a great day with her yesterday. 

[Gardening Grandma]

Got i, Sheila. Thank you.

[Jake 48]

[midjd]

That's wonderful to hear about her progress! I remember earlier posts in which you were very worried about her future. Glad to hear she's doing well and I hope things continue to go her way. 

[Gardening Grandma]

Nov 21, 2013 13:51:50 GMT -5 midjd said:

That's wonderful to hear about her progress! I remember earlier posts in which you were very worried about her future. Glad to hear she's doing well and I hope things continue to go her way. 

Thanks, Mid
I will probably always worry. She is one of the most vulnerable in our society.  Right now, she has her dad and myself to advocate for her.  But she relies heavily on government programs (SSI, SNAP and Medicaid) that are under attack, so I can't help but worry.

I opened a Special Needs trust account for her and put money in as I can.  I'm still contributing to her brothers' education funds, but when those are fu ded, I will redirect those funds to her account.  I'd like her to have a cushion that can be used for things not covered.

But after a day like yesterday, I am hopeful that she may actually be able to do some kind of work (fingers crossed) when she ages out of school.  

[cronewitch]

Nov 21, 2013 11:59:30 GMT -5 Gardening Grandma said:

Thanks!

Is she capable of working?

If you had asked me that a year ago, I'd have said, "No way". But now I am hoping that they will be able to find some kind of productive work for her (either part time work or volunteering) after she ages out of the school system. I believe she can go another year.

She is non verbal (she can hear and understand most of what you say, but responds only with signs) so that is a real issue when considering what she might be able to do. Also, she isn't always good about following directions...

I think she might be able to do something involving sorting, stacking.  As I mentioned earlier, she is almost compulsively neat.  But she does need a lot of supervision, so I don't know.  It sure would be wonderful, however, if she could find a meaningful way to fill the day.

One of my nephews is special and adult he sorts recycling. He is about 35 now and had brain damage as an infant, brain surgery at 18 and not very smart. He loves being a good worker they let him wash the lunch tables in school and he was very proud to do a good job. Work is important for more than money. My grandmother was in assisted living at 98 and when she would get upset they would ask her to fold laundry and give her a basket of towels to fold.

[Deleted]

I'm so glad that your granddaughter is doing well GG, and that you all had a lovely day together! 

[busymom]

I am so happy for you, GG, and your entire family!  I hope she enjoyed her birthday! 

[whoisjohngalt]

GG, what a wonderful way to spend a day and it must be soooo good for you to see her making progress.

Lovehearts - I remember you posting about your daughter, and I am so sorry for  your additional loss of your husband. May G-d give you all the strength that you need

[Gardening Grandma]

Lena, Thank you

lovehearts,
I do indeed remember you very well. And I am so glad to hear from you (but I am sorry for your loss).  I remember you posting when your precious daughter died and I could not imagine the pain you must have endured).

You are absolutely right. We don't know hiw much time we have with those we love.  Earlier this year, my DH was daignosed with cancer - two seperate kinds.  He's had surgery and radiation for one and still has to decide on treatment for the other.  We just took a long trip to Asia and I've decided we are going to spend the next several years going where he wants as long as he can travel.

I am so glad you are here and hipe to hear more from you.. Thank you for posting.  It means a lot.

[taz157]

gardening - I'm glad you had a great lunch with your DGD.

lovehearts - Unfortunately, I don't remember you, but I am sorry for the loss your DD 3 years ago and your DH recently.    

[bean29]

GG I am glad your grandaughter is doing well and that her independent living situation is working out.

Love hearts, I am sorry for your losses, and glad to hear from you.

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Oh, GG, I'm so glad the three of you had a good day. It's so wonderful of you to set up the trust for her and for what you're providing for your grandson's education. You're whole original post put a big smile on my face.