Thoughts on receiving charity

[Phoenix84]

We have always talked about charitable giving and welfare on these boards. I wanted to take a quick survey of how you feel about taking charity from an organization (doesn’t matter who). Does the type of organization matter (i.e. would you not take help from a religious charity? Would you refuse welfare or food stamps?). Would you receive unemployment? What about the food bank? When asking this hypothetical question, I’m assuming that you’d hypothetically need the charity in question.

Some people are too proud to accept aide in times of need, others have no problem. Who are you?

I wouldn’t have problem accepting aide from any legitimit source if I felt I needed it. I would simply be grateful for the assistance. I would have reservations if I felt the person/organization couldn’t afford to give me the aide however.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Hi Phenoix. So how did the job situation turn out?

To answer your question I would utilize any source of charity available to me if I needed it. I got a kid now and have to really rethink how far "pride" is going to get me because anything I do in turn affects her.

[Sum Dum Gai]

If I actually needed it I'd take it. However, after relying on these programs through my childhood I promised myself that my kids wouldn't be raised that way if there was anything at all (legal/moral or not) that I could to prevent it. In other words, I'd sell drugs or rob banks before I'd raise my kids in government housing and rely on food stamps to eat.

[Anne_in_VA]

Dark - I feel exactly the same way. I was raised in the projects, had nothing except hand-me-downs growing up and don't want to take charity.

But... when I was out of work for a year, I did take UE, visited food banks, etc. after the UE ran out. I was only a couple of weeks from being on the streets, so at that point would have taken anything I was eligible for.

[cronewitch]

I have accepted help when I was young and considered it owed to them in the future if I could afford to pay it back.

I was helped by a large national charity in 1967. I have since donated at least as much as I received.

Food banks I haven't needed but would accept food if I needed it. I would figure out what I did to get there and try to fix it, then repay when I could afford it. If I was in good health I would offer to work there to help out but still donate when I could. I have donated before so consider them storing my future food for if I need it.

Blood bank the same thing, I donated before and received blood before. My cousin used a lot of blood when he was young and still uses a lot of blood products. The blood banks used to let family and friends replace the blood so he wasn't charged for it. When you put blood into the blood bank not donated for someone you would have an account like any other bank and when you needed blood you could get it free. The doctors and hospitals still charged but the blood was free.

Donating to food banks or blood banks when we can before we need the help will make accepting help less humbling and if you don't you can vow to yourself to try to pay it back if you ever can.

[Deleted]

As a parent, I would do whatever I have to do to feed my children and provide shelter. If I have to swallow my pride, so be it.

I actually had to accept help from my family a couple of years ago. It pretty much made me feel worthless, but I got over it. I would've felt even worse if my children were homeless or sitting in the dark or going hungry. I didn't have to ask strangers for help, but I would have if it had come to that.

If it were just me, I think my pride would get in the way of accepting help from anybody. I'll personally suffer through much more than what I'm willing to impose on my children.

[lurkyloo]

Welcome, phenoix!

If all the safeguards I have in place failed, I'd curse a lot and then take whatever was offered and necessary. I'd like to think I'd stop short of accepting help from truly objectionable sources--but then, I don't think neo Nazis run a lot of soup kitchens.

EDIT: Crone has an excellent point. I've donated a fair amount to the local foodbank (and of course we all donate involuntarily to government programs). Maybe that's why it doesn't seem like something I'd worry about overmuch? Or maybe it's just my practical side.

[Deleted]

I would use available sources if needed. I would be much more apt to feel a need if my children were in need. I could hold out, be a littel more resourceful on my own account.

The only thing i can think of is that i would not be eager to accept charity from an orgainzation who tried, as a factor in me taking aide, to get me to capitualte to their beliefs/give up my own. I would have to be hard pressed to accept assistance under those conditions.

I would also feel like, as soon as i could, i would be responsible for either paying back or paying forward the kind of assistance i had received.

Pink, sometimes i think its easier to get help from strangers than people we know...

[illinicheme]

I'd fortunately never been in a position where I needed to consider help from charity. My parents are well-off, so if I fell on hard times, I'd probably turn to them first.

I would accept unemployment, because I've paid into it. I was laid off in March 2010, but managed to find a new job before I came off the WARN period and unemployment would have kicked in. But I sure as heck would have applied for unemployment as soon as I was eligible.

[Deleted]

"Pink, sometimes i think its easier to get help from strangers than people we know..."

oped, I can see how that would be true. With my family, I had been one of only 2 *doing well* and helping everybody else when they needed it. When they found out just how bad things had gotten for me, they were appalled that I hadn't said anything. I think that if I hadn't let them help, they probably would've beat me up. LOL

[Peace77]

Unemployment is not charity. It is payment on insurance premiums that you already paid.

"I'd sell drugs or rob banks before I'd raise my kids in government housing and rely on food stamps to eat."

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That's just crazy. It's not worth it to risk going to prison or getting yourself killed to avoid using Food Stamps. (By the way, there are no paper stamps anymore. Funds are loaded onto a plastic card just like a debt card.)

There have been times in my life when I needed help and times when I've given it.

There have been times when we probably should have asked for help and didn't. We made up the difference with credit cards. If it happens again, I'll ask for help instead of going into deep debt.

[Deleted]

I guess i should have said some times it easier to receive help from strangers ... it can be hard to ask friends/family for help. I'm glad yours was there to support you when you needed it.

[Phoenix84]

"I'd sell drugs or rob banks before I'd raise my kids in government housing and rely on food stamps to eat."

I assume you're exaggerating. How would you going to prision help your kids? They'd likely end up in government housing and on food stamps anyway, or perhaps foster care.

[Deleted]

I'd take charity if I really needed it, but my mom would do whatever she could to help me.

[998fbird]

Currently I have several people close to me who have fallen on hard times. I have actively encouraged them to use all help available. I have also reassessed my own plan of what to do if I were to become unemployed or disabled.
Yes, I would use every available form of assistance I could access as soon as possible rather then wait until my situation became totally dire.
Of course in addition to using all aid available I would cut every possible expense.

[Opti]

"I'd sell drugs or rob banks before I'd raise my kids in government housing and rely on food stamps to eat."

The sad thing is there are people who think its better to steal to survive than to take what's willing given.

I have used unemployment and I have used food banks. Like many people I'd prefer to never be in the situation to want to use them but the alternative to not using them is worse IMO. The truth is self-sufficiency and being self supporting is a fiction we tell ourselves. To be paid as an employee you need an
employer willing to pay you for the work. You can do the same thing as a volunteer perhaps even better and get paid nothing and receive fewer props
socially than the person working for pay. To support yourself as a business owner you need people to buy what you are selling. Without them you cannot "support yourself" either. Even if you lived in a cave off the land you need the earth to support you by continuing to give rain and sun to grow food.

Unemployment isn't charity. Food banks are. I think EITC is the closest thing we
have to what people call welfare and to me is the biggest piece of charity via government we have.

[kccini9]

After my divorce, I was on WIC for about a year, but that's not charity. I didn't have an issue taking that, but I wouldn't feel right taking any other form of welfare. I would move back home with my parents, beg my family to watch my kids for free, and take any small job I could to make ends meet.

I did however apply for the Sears Heroes at Home program before Christmas. You had to be an active duty military family/person and be accepted into the program. They gave out Sears/Kmart giftcards to all those accepted. All the money was from donations. I received about $150 total. It's being used to buy the kids summer clothes.

[honeybunny66]

"After my divorce, I was on WIC for about a year, but that's not charity"

Actually, WIC (Women, Infants, Children) is a government entitlement and considered to be welfare/charity.

I have received government assistance (WIC for both children & food stamps for 3 months). I didn't have a problem with it because my family needed the assistance and that's what the program is there for (to provide short-term assistance for those in need).

Since then I have volunteered time and provided financial assistance to local, national, and international organizations. I have also paid quite a bit in taxes over the years and so think I have paid back more than what I received.

[Ava]

I would use any help legally available to me if needed. I wouldn't feel any shame to accept it because I work and pay all my taxes.
If I fall on hard times, become ill, injured or unemployed, I'll get all the help available right away.
Of course, I prefer to work and be independent, but I don't mind getting help in case of need.

[Apple]

I would much rather see people on WIC than foodstamps. WIC is very reasonable about what you can purchase, foodstamps--way more room for abuse!

To me, welfare and charity should be a helping hand or a hand up, not a hand out. I was 18, married and pregnant, then-husband's job did not have any kind of insurance or benefits, my job had 2 weeks of vacation and health insurance only if you were full time. I was next in line for the full time job but the boss had his manager ask if I was pregnant and when I was honest and said "yes" he gave the full-time job to a minor living with her parents. She couldn't use the equipment so I had to do her job and mine without getting the 40 hours a week and insurance (I was young and trusting, but so pissed when it happened). At that point I finally had to give in and apply for the Oregon Health Plan. I also signed up for WIC, but that was it. My boss had been worried I'd take a ton of time off with the baby and that's why he didn't give me the full time job. DS was 7 weeks premature and spent two weeks in NICU before coming home. I took one of my vacation weeks (had used the other one already) and one week unpaid before I was back at work regular hours and got full-time by the end of the month. Signed up for health insurance the second I was eligible and went off WIC and OHP as soon as it kicked in. In the end, I've made a good life for myself and DS so hope I never have to face that situation again (I've never drawn unemployment but would if I needed to, I've worked for enough years that I've probably put in more than I'd take out). But being on it for those 6 months saved me financially, especially since my husband was laid off for 5 months starting the day DS was born

ETA: At this point, I would also do anything I could to avoid anything other than UE, sell stuff, cut expenses, etc.

[Peace77]

To those who say they would never accept any government benefits or charity, go to playspent.org

See how long you can last without any help.

[happyscooter]

I can't believe the people who trash talk about churches but then run to them for help. And make comments like 'Jesus would want you to help me' or 'it isn't very Christian to ask why I need the money'. We helped a family after Katrina hit. Everything from a house rent free to linens to furniture to dishes to you name it we did it. Never once did the family darken the doors of the church or scratch out a note on a piece of notebook paper saying 'thanks.'

[april47]

Do you consider it charity for an elderly person to get decreased rent on an apartment that is one in a nice complex that gets a tax credit for offering these decreased rates? You have to qualify and have a low income but you still have to make at least twice the rent. You can have savings but the interest is considered income also. Just curious. They are really nice with all amenities and with social activites.

[cronewitch]

Never once did the family darken the doors of the church or scratch out a note on a piece of notebook paper saying 'thanks.'

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Why would they go to your church if they didn't believe in your god? Christian aren't known for saying thank you for charity from non Christians either, most of the time they say thank god and about how god provided when it was someone else. Often they will take your money then give 10% of it to their church.

[bobbysgirl]

Feb 18, 2011 16:46:53 GMT -5 Sum Dum Gai said:

If I actually needed it I'd take it. However, after relying on these programs through my childhood I promised myself that my kids wouldn't be raised that way if there was anything at all (legal/moral or not) that I could to prevent it. In other words, I'd sell drugs or rob banks before I'd raise my kids in government housing and rely on food stamps to eat.

I'm sorry DARK.

[bobbysgirl]

When we needed help, I didn't know about it (chronic illness) Now everyone knows about govt help. I would apply for any benefit, but it would be a last resort type of move. Hopefully I have enough safe stops in place to not be in that position. But no one knows what life will bring. Anything can happen to anyone.

[happyscooter]

Crone, the same way some of these people on here are saying that they used the food banks when times were tough. Now that they are able they donate back to the food bank. These Katrina victims didn't do anything. Except take from us. A note would have been nice.

[Urban Chicago]

Pink, sometimes i think its easier to get help from strangers than people we know...

I agree with this. I would find it far less humiliating to apply for WIC or FoodStamps than to admit to my family that I could not support my kids.

[Sum Dum Gai]

I assume you're exaggerating. How would you going to prision help your kids? They'd likely end up in government housing and on food stamps anyway, or perhaps foster care.

Two things. First I was exaggerating a little. Sort of. I have marketable skills, so don't need to rely on anything shady to take care of my family. However, if I had to, I would be willing to do things to keep them out of the projects that other people probably wouldn't approve of. Second, there are plenty of people doing illegal stuff everyday that don't end up in jail. I have family members that have had the same dealer for decades.

Realistically, I would probably become a merc before I'd be dealing or something. It's not that hard to make decent money if you have a military background, are in decent physical shape, and are willing to travel to all the god forsaken wastelands of the world.

I'm just saying, the list of really unpleasant or dangerous things I'm willing to subject myself too in order to keep my kids from living that lifestyle is pretty damn long.

[Deleted]

Luckily the list of unpleasant things us ladies can subject ourselves to if we need to feed our kids don't require international travel... but i agree to the idea that i'd give up my own personal pride and even stretch my own values, before i'd allow my kids to be forced to give up basic necessities, or live in a situation which could easily limit their potential.