Teen knows how to save but not spend. Problem?

[Deleted]

We give our DDs an allowance to allow them to have some spending money of their own. We pay for all necessities and any outings/entertainment that is OUR idea. My thought was that the DDs would use their allowance to buy non-necessities for themselves.

The situation, however, is that DD14 doesn't spend. She will buy gifts for family at Christmas but other than that, just saves her allowance. It's actually hard to get her to spend, even when someone has given her a gift certificate. Trying to use a Borders gift card last week, she would find an interesting book and then put it back, stating that she would look for it at the library.

So, do I need to force her to learn to spend? I'm thinking that maybe I could increase her allowance but stop paying for some of her necessities (clothes, etc.) I honestly think that she would just wear her clothes clean through before she spent the money.

Pegasus

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Boy I think most parents would happily trade you for your problem!

Have you asked her if she is saving for anything? Maybe she has a plan for that money?

Trying to use a Borders gift card last week, she would find an interesting book and then put it back, stating that she would look for it at the library

Can't blame her for that books are getting crazy expensive. I'm reluctant now ot buy them too because I read so fast that it feels like I set the money on fire. Then if it is a book I end up NOT liking I feel even worse because it won't be reread again.

[Deleted]

Does DD14 go out with friends? movies? ice cream? mall?

[hoops902]

Eh, i was the same way as a kid. There wasn't anything I wanted enough to spend my money on. Eventually I spent a few hundred on a video game system which was over a year's worth of allowance. Sometimes the problem isn't that they aren't spending, they just might not care to have much. I was more content with going outside and playing sports, I didn't need to buy action figures or anything else that was popular at the time.

[Firebird]

I don't think this is a problem necessarily, but you could talk to her about times when you've saved up for something and had trouble buying it when the time came because it's hard to part with the money - but in the end, you felt good because you really wanted the item and you knew you deserved it.

I think this actually can be a problem for adults later in life, especially if they just can't enjoy anything. As a kid, I think it just shows good discipline - but it's something to keep an eye on.

Does she have savings goals? Maybe you should ask her about them and show her how to allocate money into various savings accounts, leaving 10% of all income for fun money. Maybe if she can see that her goals are being met without her putting every possible penny on them, she can relax a little.

How's the other kid doing? ;D

[spartan7886]

One indicator I would look at is her Christmas/birthday list. If she has a hard time coming up with a list then (I always did, and that sounds like hoops too) then she probably just doesn't want more stuff and you don't have a real problem - this just strikes me as a naturally frugal person. I would be a little more worried if she had a huge Christmas list and then wouldn't spend her own money - this strikes me more as cheap and you may wish to sit down and try to understand what is driving the behavior.

[Deleted]

The other kid saves money for a while, decides she wants something, and saves up longer if needed to buy it. She has bought toys and a scooter with her savings. This is pretty much what I was expecting from both of them.

She's much as hoops902 mentioned, she's just content with what she has. She can't even think of gift ideas for herself when the occasion arises. She loves what people get her, but can't think of anything that she wants/needs.

She rarely has opportunity to spend money out with friends. Most socializing is done at our house or the friends house. When out, we tend to socialize as families (her best friends are in families that we are all friends with). We'll have 2 or 3 families go to the movies together or out to eat and the parents pay.

I do understand about books being expensive when you can get them free at the library. That makes sense. However, when you need to use a gift card, you need to find something worth owning!

Pegasus

[Deleted]

I wouldn't be too worried. As she gets older I'm sure she will start doing more and more solcializing out of the house and will find was to spend money.

[Deleted]

Is she saving for some bigger item? My dd is younger than yours, but she saves every dime she gets. She has this idea that she wants to buy a car when she turns 16.

[Deleted]

Ok, I just asked her if she had a goal for her savings. She smiled real big and said no but that she would one day.

Pegasus

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Well there you go, she plans on spending the money SOMEDAY instead of spending it all right now on little things she doesn't really want or need just to spend money. That's a good "problem" to have with a teenager.

[whoisjohngalt]

She's much as hoops902 mentioned, she's just content with what she has. She can't even think of gift ideas for herself when the occasion arises.

It will be a long long long time before I'll understand how exactly is this a a problem.

Lena

[resolution]

I don't have any advice on your teen, but I wanted to mention that Borders has filed for bankruptcy. It looks like a judge just ruled to allow them to continue honoring their gift cards, but I wouldn't delay in spending it just in case. chicagobreakingbusiness.com/2011/02/judge-approves-borders-gift-card-plan.html

[illinicheme]

Sounds like a great kid to me. I wouldn't worry about it. I was pretty similar as a kid. In fact, one Christmas, my list was "anything I've asked for in the past three years but didn't get" because I couldn't think of anything else. Resulted in some great gifts, including some fancy pajamas that I still have ~17 years later. (They're finally starting to fall apart.)

As far as spending the gift card - maybe she'd be interested in buying a bunch of children's books and donating them somewhere? Or maybe there is a non-fiction reference-type book for one of her hobbies that she might be more inclined to refer back to from time to time and therefore it makes sense to own. I can understand the reluctance to spend on fiction. I LOVE books, but rarely purchase new fiction, because there are so many places to borrow or get used books, and I'm unlikely to read anything more than once.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Is she planning on going to college? My sister was buying the SAT/GED books for her elder DD to use to practice/study from.

Is she a Scrabble fan? She also bought 4 or 5 copies of the hardcover official Scrabble dictionary one year because she and her daughters and 1 cousin play a lot of Scrabble and squabble over their previous copy and it was saner for them all to have their own copies...

[crockpottin]

I have the exact same "problem," if you can call it that, it's always been hard for me to come up with Christmas wish lists and things like that. As long as she's not denying herself everything she wants, it's probably no big deal. Since she's so fond of saving, have you considered helping her get started in investing? She could start small, like buying a few stocks on sharebuilder or something like that. Since she likes putting aside money, I would bet that she's really like watching the stocks grow over time, and it would have the added benefit of helping her get into long-term wealth building habits.

[Tiny]

I'd work on using that Border's gift card soon... They are still honoring them, but who knows for how long.

Some options for encouraging the spending:
1.) Borders has stuff other than books - maybe there's a Game (board or card) that DD would like to play with her friends (or cousins). Maybe buying a fancy coffee or tea drink in the cafe? Maybe buying music?

2.) What about buying some books she's interested in reading - and then after she's read them donating the books to the Library (or somewhere else)? Yes, it may feel like "it's not really a gift for your DD" but it can be - the gift is the reading of the book and then the "feel good" when someone else gets to read the book.

[Deleted]

My daughter was a non-spender, but that was because we paid too much of her expenses. Think about that.

As far as the Borders gc goes, tell her that it may no longer be good. That should probably give her some incentive. She probably has books she has loved.

[backontrack]

I was the same way as a teen! I had a part-time job starting at 15 and I brought home my paychecks and put them in a filing cabinet. Eventually the company asked me to cash them so that they could balance their books. I still have an awful time buying for myself or asking for gifts. Eventually I did spend some money, mostly going out with friends. I still prefer to spend money on services and events than things. Although a Kindle sounds nice I wouldn't put out the money for it, but I have no problem paying for a full service car wash, house keeper, or a nice meal out.

[blackcard]

Your DD sounds like my DH. He does spend money on me, his and my family also. He is quite generous about that. I hope he never changes.

[sdg22cmu]

I was like this growing up. Never made a christmas list or anything like that. I am still like that today. I try to get people to not buy me things for christmas or birthdays. I just have a hard time spending money b/c I know it can be used for more useful things like savings or emergencies.

[skippy]

I am proud of your child for saving money. My kids 14, 17 do the same thing. My children have had checking accounts, debit cards since they were 9, 12. No one knows what tomorrow brings by saving her money she is making sure she is covered. She isn't doing with out just being smart about spending her cash. She found a book she was interested in but understands getting it at the libary is the cheapest route. It sounds like you could use some lessons from this child on how to save money. It you really want her to spend that money then bring her to a stocker broker and let her talk to them. Maybe she will find routes of investment that allows her to spend her money with future rewards.

[zibazinski]

Tell her to buy some really neat series books from Borders. Something she will always have.

[8 Bit WWBG]

...:::"She's much as hoops902 mentioned, she's just content with what she has. She can't even think of gift ideas for herself when the occasion arises. She loves what people get her, but can't think of anything that she wants/needs.":::...

She is going to make an AWESOME wife!

[Firebird]

Feb 23, 2011 13:32:33 GMT -5 8 Bit WWBG said:

...:::"She's much as hoops902 mentioned, she's just content with what she has. She can't even think of gift ideas for herself when the occasion arises. She loves what people get her, but can't think of anything that she wants/needs.":::...

She is going to make an AWESOME wife!

How did I KNOW that one was coming? ;D

[alabamagal]

I would just let her be. I had same issues with DS (now 18). He would not spend his money on anything. I was ok with that, except DS16 would spend every $ he got on video games (for a while anyway) and they would both play. I didn't think this was really fair, but let it go anyway.

DS18 is now in college. When he went to college his social life increased DRAMATICALLY! He now spends his money, but not too much.

DS16 has also changed quite a bit. He is now starting to save more of his money (mainly from working 1 day per week)

So my main point is that kids change! Keep an eye on her, encourage her to spend, but also don't go overboard.