Dr Ratchets psychiatry clinic is open!

[swamp]

My kids are whining. Make them stop

[busymom]

Could you send me a cleaning fairy?  I KNOW that would make ME happy! 

[Deleted]

Dr. Doctor,
My husband just spent more time getting his Harley's motor running than he spent getting mine running?  Should I run his Harley over with a semi truck or just drink a lot of wine and pass out?

[Nazgul Girl]

    Let's see.   I'd rather play Candy Crush Saga than pay the bills, the skin on my hands and feet is excessively dry, the bills for the heat are going up this winter, my husband didn't shut the car door on his side of the car properly and left his seatbelt in the latch, ( grrrr ), I forgot to get milk at the store, and I want some cinnamon donuts.

    Actually, I guess my life's pretty darned good .   So please use your powers of percept-phyciatry for others, Rachets.   Also, I'd avoid people for awhile.   You had some doozies.

   Also, I don't want duck lips, so that's all to the good.   Thanks for being a good person.

[Nazgul Girl]

Oct 26, 2013 12:57:38 GMT -5 @tbird said:

weird posters on a message board keep listing all the weirdos that weird out on them, and giving details.

How can I make them stop?

   I'd try to outpost them in weirdness.   That should do it.  

[Nazgul Girl]

    Oh I do have a good one.   I have this friend of 20 + years who's gone into hermit posture for the last 18 months.  She wants me to play word games with her on facebook, but not see me, even though we live 15 mins apart.   I've called her, emailed her, and texted her to check on her to see if she's okay.

    She's not disabled.   She's going through a depression, I get that part, but doesn't seem to want any help or contact.   But, she keeps messaging me on facebook.   Today, she sent me the second fb message about a book she recommended that my DD read, because both DD & the book's author are pretty devout Catholics.   Of course, my DD is single, in school, teaching school, getting a house on her own, and the other woman has six kids, blogs, doesn't work outside of the home (understandably ), and homeschools the little kiddos.

    But, my former friend is obsessed that my DD approve of and pick up this book right now.   Uh huh.   Okay.   But, when I suggest we talk on the phone, she won't respond.


   I've been sympathetic, supportive, caring, and whatever.   She got angry with me because I noticed she was "neglecting" our friendship.  


   Please make her passive-aggressive behavior stop.    Actually, the situation makes me sad, but I can't help her at this point.  

[busymom]

<Busy spills her drink on the monitor>


Thank you for the shiny flower, but did you say "Cleanest Houses in 'Mercia"  or "Hoarders"?  With all the stuff I've been bringing over from Mom's house, the latter would probably describe the house better right now... 

[midjd]

I have to pee, but there is a sleeping kitten on my chest and he is too cute to disturb. Help!

[Nazgul Girl]

Oct 26, 2013 15:01:44 GMT -5 Ratchets said:

Oct 26, 2013 13:43:16 GMT -5 Nazgul Girl said:

    Oh I do have a good one.   I have this friend of 20 + years who's gone into hermit posture for the last 18 months.  She wants me to play word games with her on facebook, but not see me, even though we live 15 mins apart.   I've called her, emailed her, and texted her to check on her to see if she's okay.

    She's not disabled.   She's going through a depression, I get that part, but doesn't seem to want any help or contact.   But, she keeps messaging me on facebook.   Today, she sent me the second fb message about a book she recommended that my DD read, because both DD & the book's author are pretty devout Catholics.   Of course, my DD is single, in school, teaching school, getting a house on her own, and the other woman has six kids, blogs, doesn't work outside of the home (understandably ), and homeschools the little kiddos.

    But, my former friend is obsessed that my DD approve of and pick up this book right now.   Uh huh.   Okay.   But, when I suggest we talk on the phone, she won't respond.


   I've been sympathetic, supportive, caring, and whatever.   She got angry with me because I noticed she was "neglecting" our friendship.  


   Please make her passive-aggressive behavior stop.    Actually, the situation makes me sad, but I can't help her at this point.  

NO!  I cannot make her behavoir stop!  Hell, I can't even spell behavoir!!  But what I can do is say that you're an AWESOME friend for doing all you do!!  If you're lucky and I remember, there may be a glittery flower in your near future!!

But if I may get serious for a minute.  What your friend has turned into is what we like to call..."a crazy bitch."  It's not a big deal though, it's just a mid-life crisis thing...she can be pulled back from the dark side!!  Invite her out to see "Thunder from Down Under" next time they come to town, and she'll be all sorted out!!

Awesome idea, Rachets. In fact, if she won't go, I'll just take my DD !    At least, we'll be all sorted out, even if she denies herself the opportunity !

[swamp]

My kids have now strewn toys all over the living room. Make them stop. And DH is watching inane shit on tv and its too cold and rainy to go outside.

[swamp]

And I did a turbo kick class this morning and I'm sore!!!! And DH won't give me a massage.

[ZaireinHD]

I keep finding money in my coat pockets when I pull out my jacket when it gets cold. but I never find money anywhere else, like the couch cushions, pants, or shirts, bank account, etc. 

[ZaireinHD]

Oct 26, 2013 14:41:35 GMT -5 Ratchets said:

Oct 26, 2013 10:59:01 GMT -5 busymom said:

Could you send me a cleaning fairy?  I KNOW that would make ME happy! 

NO, I can't!  But that wouldn't get to the root of your problem anyway!  What you need to realise is that you are an AMAZING cleaner and your house should be on a reality show like "Cleanest Houses in 'Merica" because baby you rock at cleaning and you're fantabulous and fantastic!!  Here's a glittery flower just for you  !!

wow! that was very nice Ratchets!

[Peace Of Mind]

Ratchets, hold me!  I'm almost out of wine!  Now I have to open another bottle and might break a nail! 

That's all I got. 

[Nazgul Girl]

Oct 26, 2013 15:57:08 GMT -5 swamp said:

And I did a turbo kick class this morning and I'm sore!!!! And DH won't give me a massage.

   Get busy, please, Rachets.   I don't think a sparkly flower will fix this situation. 

[Nazgul Girl]

  Also,

   According to my Phil Script, a monthly investment of $1.00 bearing an annualized return of 11% with gains compounded monthly could grow to $21,199.40 in 50 years!

   I thought I'd throw that in for variety. 

[Jaguar]

New job for Rachets, Life Coach.

[Nazgul Girl]

   You are being paid in admiration and sparkly flower points by a grateful audience.  

[chiver78]

there's some good stuff in here! Ratchets, are you photogenic? you could turn this into a nice Dr Phil sort of tv spot if you keep it up.

[NancysSummerSip]

Dear Dr. Ratchets,

I'm finding out that this getting older stuff is not for sissies. That ten mile run hurt. So did falling off my bike yesterday, and that's on top of the usual aches and pains of being a fifty-something pseudo-athletic ninja. -faint-Should I give up, head for the rocking chair and grab the Cheetos and beer on the way?

[muttleynfelix]

Dear Dr. Ratchets,

I overslept this morning, my car wouldn't start, the plotter at work broke and I have 2 deadlines today.  Can I start this week over?

[ZaireinHD]

now why didn't I think of that? wow your answer was right there in front of me to wear my jackets more often!
Thanks!

ok how about this!

EVERY TIME I walk into Walmart; they keep having these got dam sales on their 50 inch TV's; AND THAT IS NOT A HOLIDAY SALE PRICE. when I see the sale price not just my credit card but even my Debit card starts crying BUY IT DAM YOU! but I don't cause for one I don't need it and there are so many other things to do with $600!!

Question:
should I go into a Walmark during a Holiday sale time?

[ZaireinHD]

guess were out of business?

[ZaireinHD]

Oct 26, 2013 13:43:16 GMT -5 Nazgul Girl said:

    Oh I do have a good one.   I have this friend of 20 + years who's gone into hermit posture for the last 18 months.  She wants me to play word games with her on facebook, but not see me, even though we live 15 mins apart.   I've called her, emailed her, and texted her to check on her to see if she's okay.

    She's not disabled.   She's going through a depression, I get that part, but doesn't seem to want any help or contact.   But, she keeps messaging me on facebook.   Today, she sent me the second fb message about a book she recommended that my DD read, because both DD & the book's author are pretty devout Catholics.   Of course, my DD is single, in school, teaching school, getting a house on her own, and the other woman has six kids, blogs, doesn't work outside of the home (understandably ), and home schools the little kiddos.

    But, my former friend is obsessed that my DD approve of and pick up this book right now.   Uh huh.   Okay.   But, when I suggest we talk on the phone, she won't respond.


   I've been sympathetic, supportive, caring, and whatever.   She got angry with me because I noticed she was "neglecting" our friendship.  


   Please make her passive-aggressive behavior stop.    Actually, the situation makes me sad, but I can't help her at this point.  

what happened? I'm very interested to know cause I have a situation with a former best friend

[ZaireinHD]

**said while laughing!**
I do like your answers Ratchets!

[NoNamePerson]

Well whut ya need ta do is take an elleve and keep on runnin'!! (In a southern accent) :-P

Bless your heart child would have been the appropriate Southern reply  

BTW love the thread 

[NancysSummerSip]

Nov 2, 2013 7:26:29 GMT -5 Ratchets said:

Oct 28, 2013 8:20:35 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

Dear Dr. Ratchets,

I'm finding out that this getting older stuff is not for sissies. That ten mile run hurt. So did falling off my bike yesterday, and that's on top of the usual aches and pains of being a fifty-something pseudo-athletic ninja. -faint-Should I give up, head for the rocking chair and grab the Cheetos and beer on the way?

Well whut ya need ta do is take an elleve and keep on runnin'!! (In a southern accent) :-P

Pain is weakness leaving the body Nancy!!

Reall? I though pain was the body's way of calling itself a jackass for trying.

[NancysSummerSip]

Nov 3, 2013 15:02:11 GMT -5 Ratchets said:

Haha Nancy...that too!!  I was joking with you - mostly because I can't stand that saying!!  Usually because it's some jerkoff standing around watching while you're the one in pain ...nice run by the way!!

Oh, I love those people. They usually have a beer in one hand, and a bag of Cheetos in the other.

[Jaguar]

Oct 28, 2013 23:06:22 GMT -5 ZaireinHD said:

now why didn't I think of that? wow your answer was right there in front of me to wear my jackets more often!
Thanks!

ok how about this!

EVERY TIME I walk into Walmart; they keep having these got dam sales on their 50 inch TV's; AND THAT IS NOT A HOLIDAY SALE PRICE. when I see the sale price not just my credit card but even my Debit card starts crying BUY IT DAM YOU! but I don't cause for one I don't need it and there are so many other things to do with $600!!

Question:
should I go into a Walmark during a Holiday sale time?

Your credit card and debit card talk to you ?

[NancysSummerSip]

Nov 3, 2013 17:21:04 GMT -5 Jaguar said:

Oct 28, 2013 23:06:22 GMT -5 ZaireinHD said:

now why didn't I think of that? wow your answer was right there in front of me to wear my jackets more often!
Thanks!

ok how about this!

EVERY TIME I walk into Walmart; they keep having these got dam sales on their 50 inch TV's; AND THAT IS NOT A HOLIDAY SALE PRICE. when I see the sale price not just my credit card but even my Debit card starts crying BUY IT DAM YOU! but I don't cause for one I don't need it and there are so many other things to do with $600!!

Question:
should I go into a Walmark during a Holiday sale time?

Your credit card and debit card talk to you ?

In Zaire's case, I think his cards scream, "Use me! Beat me!! Make me purchase toys, big boy!"