happyscooter
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Post by happyscooter on Oct 17, 2013 7:32:24 GMT -5
I gotcha.
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moon/Laura
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Post by moon/Laura on Oct 17, 2013 8:12:33 GMT -5
Patience, I posted on EE. If I wanted to avoid the game entirely I wouldn't have posted there. I'm just dismayed I didn't really play as I saw nothing special status-wise about my avatar until it displayed me as dead. don't worry. i suspect the game will be re-started at some point.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 17, 2013 8:31:45 GMT -5
I'm a little torn on this...I don't agree with the "everyone gets a trophy and everyone has to be invited to a birthday party" type mentality that seems to be pervasive. I want my kid to experience disappointment. She can't win everything and be friends with everyone and I think that's something valuable to learn as a young person. When you get into the work world, you're not going to get every promotion, or win awards or be able to avoid people who aren't particularly nice to you for whatever reason. I want her to be able to handle that.
On the other hand, there are times when it goes too far. And too much. 100s of emails a day is too far. I haven't read the specifics of this case, so don't know how much bullying the girls did, but assume it went into the "too far" category. I don't this that they should be charged with murder or anything like that, but definitely with stalking and/or harassing.
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Oct 17, 2013 8:49:21 GMT -5
Lone- because individually most people are weak and choose the path of least resistance. If it's easier for them to either join in or remain silent they will choose that option. Especially if by doing so they are helping to guarantee that they won't be a victim next. The kid that speaks up and says "Hey this isn't right!" is likely going to be the next person on the bully gang's hit list. Sad but true
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Oct 17, 2013 10:10:31 GMT -5
If she had been sad long enough that her sadness became chemical, i.e. hit a more permanent stronger state, also known as clinical Depression she was not capable of thinking objective thoughts with any ease. The girl was 12 and likely on the family's phone plan. She has no authorization to do that. I said this before and got freaked out on but that phone would have been stomped into dust if it was my 12 year old. A 6th grader needs a new smart phone to constantly check their face book like they need a few dozen holes in their heads. IMO My Dd got a cell phone in 6th grade because it did make life easier with after school activities, but it wasn't a smart phone so people would have had to actually say what they wanted to her, in order for her to hear it. I agree that the girls did say horrible things, but why on Earth didn't mom and dad do something about that stupid electric leash they left turned on 24/7?
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justme
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Post by justme on Oct 17, 2013 10:16:29 GMT -5
Maybe they did but the number got out anyways? I would think they would since they pulled her out and started homeschooling her, but I haven't heard one way or another. From all the reports I read the 12 y/o that was arrested and was the one that beat her up used to be her best friend. So other friends could have turned on her?
Friendships fall apart and such, but it would seriously mess me up if my best friend started punching me in the face and telling me to die. And it's hard to suddenly not value someone's opinion that she valued a lot when they were best friends.
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Oct 17, 2013 10:23:20 GMT -5
I'm sure many of you had great relationships with your moms when you were teenagers. I did not. I didn't tell my mother anything about my life. When I got my period for the first time I left her a post it note asking to buy me pads, she did and that was the end of that discussion. Yes- I talk to my son every day about what's going on in his world but my parents never talked to me about stuff like that. They knew who my friends were to the extent that they'd drive me to their houses but that was it. They didn't actually know my friends or my friends' parents or what we were doing at the sleepovers.
I've reconnected with a friend from high school over the past couple of years. At my DH's 40th birthday party she was telling my mom stories from our high school adventures and my mom was shocked. I had to ask her to stop telling my mom things because this was all new information for her and it was overwhelming her. If I were having trouble with bullies at school I most likely would have suffered in silence and not told my mom.
As for the whole stalking situation and restraining order I spoke of earlier- my parents have no clue that any of that happened. I lived in a different state than them at the time and didn't feel it necessary to tell them.
I don't know what the parents of the girl that died all knew. Obviously they knew enough to send her to a different school but she may have kept mum about the bullying after that.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Oct 17, 2013 12:00:45 GMT -5
This bully would have not had NO power, had it not been for her ability to get others to join her. Why would behavior that is so primitive be so easy for some to participate in? Bullying is fun. Some here may remember my story about griefing teenagers in a chat room when I was 13. I only did it once. I'm certainly not proud of it. But I was cruel, I was extremely good at it, and it. was. fun. A very primal kind of evil. A friend was with me. It was a riot to watch him do it too. To me your question is like asking "Why do kids sleep around when they know they shouldn't?" The answer is obvious.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Oct 17, 2013 12:40:11 GMT -5
This bully would have not had NO power, had it not been for her ability to get others to join her. Why would behavior that is so primitive be so easy for some to participate in? Bullying is fun. Some here may remember my story about griefing teenagers in a chat room when I was 13. I only did it once. I'm certainly not proud of it. But I was cruel, I was extremely good at it, and it. was. fun. A very primal kind of evil. A friend was with me. It was a riot to watch him do it too. To me your question is like asking "Why do kids sleep around when they know they shouldn't?" The answer is obvious. sleeping around leads to orgasms, which feel much better than bullying.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 17, 2013 12:46:55 GMT -5
Different strokes for different folks, @lonewolf. See? Swamp figured out what her strokes are!
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Oct 17, 2013 12:50:40 GMT -5
Bullying is fun. Some here may remember my story about griefing teenagers in a chat room when I was 13. I only did it once. I'm certainly not proud of it. But I was cruel, I was extremely good at it, and it. was. fun. A very primal kind of evil. A friend was with me. It was a riot to watch him do it too. To me your question is like asking "Why do kids sleep around when they know they shouldn't?" The answer is obvious. You state that bullying is fun? Interesting. I'd never thought of it as being fun, but I guess you're right. What I now don't understand is how or why is it that anyone, kids or adults, can take pleasure in causing misery to others? I don't get it. I don't understand how people can take pleasure dressing up in latex costumes and whipping and spanking each other, but obviously some can. The carnal mind is a strange and often perverse thing. Many pleasures, including bullying, are intrinsic and deeply ingrained. It's our responsibility to overcome. The two bullies in this case obviously have no interest in overcoming.
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imawino
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Post by imawino on Oct 17, 2013 12:56:50 GMT -5
This bully would have not had NO power, had it not been for her ability to get others to join her. Why would behavior that is so primitive be so easy for some to participate in? Bullying is fun. Some here may remember my story about griefing teenagers in a chat room when I was 13. I only did it once. I'm certainly not proud of it. But I was cruel, I was extremely good at it, and it. was. fun. A very primal kind of evil. A friend was with me. It was a riot to watch him do it too. To me your question is like asking "Why do kids sleep around when they know they shouldn't?" The answer is obvious. leave it to Virgil to equate sex to behavior that is cruel and morally repugnant!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 17, 2013 12:57:54 GMT -5
His strokes are a little....peculiar....
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Oct 17, 2013 13:00:37 GMT -5
Bullying is fun. Some here may remember my story about griefing teenagers in a chat room when I was 13. I only did it once. I'm certainly not proud of it. But I was cruel, I was extremely good at it, and it. was. fun. A very primal kind of evil. A friend was with me. It was a riot to watch him do it too. To me your question is like asking "Why do kids sleep around when they know they shouldn't?" The answer is obvious. leave it to Virgil to equate sex to behavior that is cruel and morally repugnant! I'm pointing out that just because something is cruel and morally repugnant doesn't mean it isn't extremely fun. ETA: Incidentally... You know how little you care when I say "That's immoral; you shouldn't do that."? Well that's precisely how much these bullies care when you say "That's immoral; you shouldn't do that."
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Oct 17, 2013 13:07:24 GMT -5
I am a pretty primitive person when it comes to dealing with things like this. My daughter was being "pushed around" by a kid in preschool. for some reason the staff could never get there before he pushed or bit her. It went on for a few weeks. I eventually had had enough and told her to hit him. I know not mother of the year. It took a few days of me telling her to hit him if he so much as looked at her funny. She actually felt bad for him because he was littlier than the rest of the kids. She did eventually whack the kid in the noggin, hard. In case anyone cares he never hit, pushed or bit another child again. In midle school my daughters best friend was being bullied by a couple of girls who thought they were better than everyone else because they were richer. I coached her well. I started by getting her to say who the biggest bannana was. Then we worked on tone of voice. She practiced doing that fake sweet oice where people sound nice but then say the meanest things. Then I coached her on how to say it in ront of a bunch of teacher and other students in the hall. At whcih point she said in her loudest stage whisper "Hey Suzie how is your lice problem doing?" Then after she Suzie gasped she walked up close and told her it would be ten times worse next time and walked away. Guess what? that girl leaves her the heck alone. Flame away.
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imawino
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Post by imawino on Oct 17, 2013 13:09:49 GMT -5
leave it to Virgil to equate sex to behavior that is cruel and morally repugnant! I'm pointing out that just because something is cruel and morally repugnant doesn't mean it isn't extremely fun. ETA: Incidentally... You know how little you care when I say "That's immoral; you shouldn't do that."? Well that's precisely how much these bullies care when you say "That's immoral; you shouldn't do that." Are you continuing to draw a parallel between consensual sex and bullying? I don't get it.
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Oct 17, 2013 13:12:06 GMT -5
Lone- because individually most people are weak and choose the path of least resistance. If it's easier for them to either join in or remain silent they will choose that option. Especially if by doing so they are helping to guarantee that they won't be a victim next. The kid that speaks up and says "Hey this isn't right!" is likely going to be the next person on the bully gang's hit list. Sad but true You can tell who the really weak are by their "pack" mentality and behavior. They think they are cool but, in fact, come across pretty pathetic. Adults can see it easier than kids. And the pathetic stick together, especially at that age, because they NEED each other to fill their voids or issues in their lives. That's why I mentioned earlier that I hope they get therapy soon. They really need it to learn to stand on their own 2 feet. And when their pack turns on them - they could be the next victim and I seriously doubt they could handle it either. I was always the kid that said "Hey this isn't right!" but I always had a lot of friends and was popular so rarely had to deal with any issues. But when a boy was involved - Holy Cow girls go nutso! And it didn't matter if I liked them back or not. If the boy showed interest in me I was a whore or bitch or whatever even though I had my own BF. And if you reject an insecure person boy does the batshit crazy come out in full force! But it cracks me up to watch them spin out of control like Linda Blair in the Exorcist.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Oct 17, 2013 13:26:59 GMT -5
If the boy showed interest in me I was a whore or bitch or whatever even though I had my own BF
Hmmm. .guess it was a good thing boys never gave me the time of day in HS, saved me a lot of headaches.
Speaking of this though my BFF and I had a pack of girls confront us at Homecoming our senior year. Leader accusess BFF of dancing with her man. Demands to know what grade BFF is in. She says she's a senior. Leader goes:
"Well I'm a 7th grade and I'm going to kick your ass!"
I busted out laughing, grabbed my BFF's arm and told her this so wasn't worth our time. The pack was apparently surprised at my reaction and did not follow us.
Hope Little Miss Punk Ass got her behind handed to her once she reached HS. That was one thing I loved about being a Freshman, the top dog bullies in middle school suddenly found themselves at the bottom of the totem pole. It was highly satisfying to find out they got their asses kicked when they mouthed off to the wrong senior.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Oct 17, 2013 13:30:42 GMT -5
You state that bullying is fun? Interesting. I'd never thought of it as being fun, but I guess you're right. What I now don't understand is how or why is it that anyone, kids or adults, can take pleasure in causing misery to others? I don't get it. I don't understand how people can take pleasure dressing up in latex costumes and whipping and spanking each other, but obviously some can. The carnal mind is a strange and often perverse thing. Many pleasures, including bullying, are intrinsic and deeply ingrained. It's our responsibility to overcome.
The two bullies in this case obviously have no interest in overcoming. I'm sorry, but it sounds like you're arguing that we should discourage good sex.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Oct 17, 2013 13:31:57 GMT -5
I'm pointing out that just because something is cruel and morally repugnant doesn't mean it isn't extremely fun. ETA: Incidentally... You know how little you care when I say "That's immoral; you shouldn't do that."? Well that's precisely how much these bullies care when you say "That's immoral; you shouldn't do that." Are you continuing to draw a parallel between consensual sex and bullying? I don't get it. Too far off topic. The takeaway for this thread is this: Just because you can't understand how or why something might be fun doesn't mean it's not fun. That includes bullying.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Oct 17, 2013 13:32:42 GMT -5
Are you continuing to draw a parallel between consensual sex and bullying? I don't get it. Too far off topic. The takeaway for this thread is this: Just because you can't understand how or why something might be fun doesn't mean it's not fun. That includes bullying. I think everyone here understands how much fun sex is.
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imawino
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Post by imawino on Oct 17, 2013 13:40:49 GMT -5
Are you continuing to draw a parallel between consensual sex and bullying? I don't get it. Too far off topic. The takeaway for this thread is this: Just because you can't understand how or why something might be fun doesn't mean it's not fun. That includes bullying. No, that is not my takeaway from this thread at all. If that's your takeaway, I'd wager you are in a very small minority.
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imawino
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Post by imawino on Oct 17, 2013 13:41:31 GMT -5
Too far off topic. The takeaway for this thread is this: Just because you can't understand how or why something might be fun doesn't mean it's not fun. That includes bullying. I think everyone here understands how much fun sex is. I think you're wrong.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Oct 17, 2013 13:45:08 GMT -5
I think everyone here understands how much fun sex is. I think you're wrong. I volunteer you to show them.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Oct 17, 2013 13:45:42 GMT -5
I volunteer you to show them. Because I'm NOT IT!!!
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Oct 17, 2013 14:02:27 GMT -5
I was picked on some in elementary school, but not that much in middle school onward. Being bigger than all the other kids/teens might have had a hand in that.
In my experience, bullies are inherantly cowards. When you show they can't intimidate you, they usually stop.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Oct 17, 2013 14:17:26 GMT -5
I don't know. I always viewed suicide as the choice of the person who committed it, and not the others. While people bullying others is certainly not cool, I'm not sure about holding the bully accountable because their victem chose suicide.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Oct 17, 2013 14:26:44 GMT -5
In 7th grade my science partner threatened to beat me up after school. The teacher pulled me out of class and gave me a 'project' to do for the rest of the semester, but also told me this girls story. When she was around 8-9 her parents were brutally murdered in front of her and since then she had just floated from various family members home. The girl was very overweight, terrible hair/skin/teeth, and she had pretty bad body odor. She was picked on a lot. I never would have instigated anything with her, but people made fun of her constantly so I was most likely in the wrong place at the wrong time and she targeted me as one of the mean girls.
When she didn't beat me up and I was pretty sure she wasn't going to, I tried hard to be nice to her and by the end of the year we had a few pleasant conversations. She moved schools before the next year started. That incident taught me to be much more compassionate to people who were different and I really hope that she found her way in the world.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 17, 2013 14:57:06 GMT -5
I remember that my mom called me when the girl who used to bully me died. She said "hey, so and so died in a drunk driving accident, doesn't that make you happy?"
Ummm....no, it didn't make me happy, but I didn't lose too much sleep over it either. Sometimes karma is a bitch.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Oct 17, 2013 20:22:28 GMT -5
I remember that my mom called me when the girl who used to bully me died. She said "hey, so and so died in a drunk driving accident, doesn't that make you happy?" Ummm....no, it didn't make me happy, but I didn't lose too much sleep over it either. Sometimes karma is a bitch. Because being killed by a drunk driver is like being bullied?
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