raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Oct 14, 2013 16:46:24 GMT -5
I ordered a pizza today and the delivery guy used my first time 3 times in a 15 second exchange... I realize he knows my name since I paid with a debit card, but it was ridiculous. There is a grocery store that we hit on our way in to the mountains and they require checkers to use Mrs. Lastname. My last name scares the crap out of people, so yeah, that is always a fun conversation.
Personally I don't want someone in that kind of position to use my first name. If I have a reason to have an actual conversation and share personal info with that's different.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Oct 14, 2013 17:09:11 GMT -5
Absolutely not but they are forced to by management. DD was brought up as was I, that it is rude to address adults by their first names to begin with and then one you don't even know? Some pimply faced punk calls me by my first name? I don't think so. I usually point out that I realize that he or she is forced to be rude by management but that I find it offensive and to please refer to me by Ms. So and so.
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Oct 14, 2013 17:20:59 GMT -5
As I get older I care less and less. I think I prefer it to Ms. or Mrs. POM or <<shudders>> Lady or Ma'am.
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deantrip
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Post by deantrip on Oct 14, 2013 17:27:02 GMT -5
Most large companies that have any type of customer service over the phone have metrics that usually include using the customer's name, saying please and thank you, etc, etc, etc. If the CSR doesn't perform they get canned, it sucks.
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lynnerself
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Post by lynnerself on Oct 14, 2013 17:33:35 GMT -5
The little customer service training I have had always says that you call a client/patient/customer as Mr. or Mrs. until they ask you to use their first name.
However, my work insists (because of their interpretation of HIPAA laws) that we call everyone by first name only in public areas.
I hate it because of the potential to have the wrong "John" or "Mary" come back for an appointment. We always catch it before any treatment (if we are all doing our job right) but it still drives me crazy.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 14, 2013 17:36:31 GMT -5
I prefer to be addressed by my last name, but that is because I am addressed by my last name by 120 students and all of my colleagues in a public setting where students may observe. In other words, if I greet a colleague in the hall, I say, "Hello, Mr. Smith" and not "Hello, Bob!" Bob may be my BFF, but he is Mr. Smith in public. So it's natural to me to greet and be greeted by Mr. or Ms. (or even Mrs.) all day long. That makes it particularly offensive if a service worker of some type greets me with "Oh, Susana!" But it's fine. Ex used to call me Sue, which I hated, hated, hated. Did I mention I hated it? I only told him every time he said it, and we were married almost 25 years and dated a few years before. So I probably told him a million times. I got used to telling people, in a really kind voice, that my name was "Susana" and not "Sue." It embarrassed more than a few of his employees (he was mid-management), but they understood fairly quickly when the "boss's wife" said it. Whenever my son and daughter-in-law want to torture me, they threaten to have the grandkids call me "Granny Sue." Grrr . . . .
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dannylion
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Post by dannylion on Oct 14, 2013 17:41:20 GMT -5
I can't get worked up about people in a service job who are either trying to be friendly or following instructions in using my first name. As long as the tone and tenor of the conversation is polite and professional or friendly or whatever is called for, it's fine with me. Life is too short to sweat the small stuff, especially when some folks just don't know any better and are doing the best they can with noble intent. They probably get kicked around enough in their service job; they don't need a lecture from me. My last name is only two syllables, but most people unfamiliar with German are baffled by it. If someone tries to use it and gets reasonably close, I'm just pleasantly surprised.
I've never understood the negative reaction to being addressed as ma'am. It's polite and respectful and causes me no angst whatsoever. Maybe it's a legacy of my military service.
I do draw the line at responding to "Hey" or "Hey, you." That is neither polite nor professional and just shows a lack of class.
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Oct 14, 2013 17:42:29 GMT -5
I dislike it immensely.
Just hand me my receipt. Don't bother talking to me.
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resolution
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Post by resolution on Oct 14, 2013 17:55:44 GMT -5
My name is difficult to pronounce, so most customer service people just address me as ma'am. Telephone solicitors will try to use my name and they have this awkward pause while they try to figure it out, which is my cue to hang up on them.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Oct 14, 2013 17:57:47 GMT -5
Doesn't bother me to he called by my first name. I only get pissed if they call me ma'am...that's for old people!
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Oct 14, 2013 18:07:37 GMT -5
If someone calls me Mrs. Lastname, it takes me a minute (still, after 10 years of marriage) to realize they are talking to me.
My grandmother used to say she wasn't Mrs. Lastname, that was her mother-in-law, but I don't even have that excuse as the MIL had a different last name than C.
In general, I have just never identified with my last name. I miss my maiden name initials ESP, but beyond that, I don't think about it.
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alabamagal
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Post by alabamagal on Oct 14, 2013 18:16:56 GMT -5
I have a hard to pronounce last name, and I hate when they look at the name and then butcher it. I would rather just have them say thanks!
Also, I live in the south but am not a native southerner (south Florida is not the south). I get called Miss < fill in my Firstname > by a lot of people and I just don't care for it. Kind of like Driving Miss Daisy.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Oct 14, 2013 18:20:52 GMT -5
My last name is too difficult for strangers to get even remotely right and it ends up in a longer conversation than I'm usually interested in having, so I hate being called Mrs. Lastname.
I don't mind maam, and my first name once is fine. But the repetition is awful. And for the love of gawd, don't shorten it.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Oct 14, 2013 18:39:37 GMT -5
I don't care what they call me as long as they get the order right.
Both my first and last name are unusual, so there is a pretty good chance whatever they call me is going to be pronounced wrong.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Oct 14, 2013 19:49:57 GMT -5
I guess it depends. I would expect a business person not to use my first name in general but if had a friendly interaction then I wouldn't care. I really don't care all that much but. I would agree that workers should be taught not to do this.
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greenstone
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Post by greenstone on Oct 14, 2013 19:54:57 GMT -5
I'm not crazy about it only because I have never in my life gone by my legal first name (always a nickname) so it just sounds so weird and scripted to me because I know they are getting off a form or credit/debit card. My last name is French with a silent consonant but most people pronounce it by adding in at least 2 or 3 non-existent letters. Always correcting people gets a bit old.
I don't think too much about it if the person talking to me has identified themselves (by introduction, ID badge, name plate, etc), I consider it a (slightly misguided) attempt at friendliness. If they haven't ID-ed themselves in some way then I care for it much less.
For safety, I don't see how using a first name is safer than using a last name. If someone overheard the exchange, I would think a disreputable person could trick someone much easier in person by approaching them using their first name than if they were only addressed by last name.
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justme
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Post by justme on Oct 14, 2013 19:56:06 GMT -5
I recently called a company to deal with a problem. I called a few times, so their policy is to ask, once they get your info, "Is it ok if I call you FirstName?". So some companies are definitely scripting the first name now.
For me, it doesn't bother me, just crappy service bothers me.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Oct 14, 2013 20:32:22 GMT -5
It is NEVER okay for anyone to call me by my first name unless they are my friends or family. I can live with ma'am especially because the military beats it into their little brains so DD uses it and never stopped even after she stopped military. I can live with ma'am but, like I said, I know these kids are forced to use an adults first name like we are all best buds so I nicely correct them and then I usually tell a manager that I realize they force their employees to do so but that they may want to re-think that strategy. Not all people think its friendly and cool. Some think it is disrespectful and poor manners/upbringing. If they bother to ask, I would tell them NO, it is not polite to use an adults first name EVER unless that adult gives them permission to do so. Even asking is rude.
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Nazgul Girl
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Post by Nazgul Girl on Oct 14, 2013 20:54:44 GMT -5
My name is Mrs. (Blank ) for about anyone who doesn't know me. And for sure, don't call me " Dear " or " Honey " because if you do, I will probably bite you.
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Nazgul Girl
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Post by Nazgul Girl on Oct 14, 2013 20:57:04 GMT -5
Ma'am also works. And Dannylion is right. If the person's intentions are good, I guess I have to give them a pass. But I still want to bite them if they call me " Hon " or " Dear." Really ? " Hon ? " Do I look even remotely like a " Hon ?" Maybe a Hun, but not a Hon .
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Oct 14, 2013 21:10:52 GMT -5
My name is difficult to pronounce, so most customer service people just address me as ma'am. Telephone solicitors will try to use my name and they have this awkward pause while they try to figure it out, which is my cue to hang up on them. my last name is French, and the Americanized pronunciation is exactly as it looks. if someone stumbles over it, that's my cue to pretend to not be me and get off the phone as soon as possible. I don't have a landline, so all calls come through my cell....but they don't know that. gotta say though - the ma'am thing used to bug me. I worked with a group of guys at a HS food service job that would call every woman they served "Miss" whether they were 5, 95, or somewhere in between, and it sort of stuck with me as a courtesy to us stuffy Northerners that are sensitive about our age. but as I spend time with my dear Southern friends and find myself saying "yes, ma'am" and "no, sir" a lot more often out of habit, I find I don't bristle at being called ma'am nearly as much no matter where I am.
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JustLurkin
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Post by JustLurkin on Oct 14, 2013 22:17:39 GMT -5
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Oct 15, 2013 1:02:30 GMT -5
I prefer the first name actually. Being called mister, or sir, is weird and impersonal. Being called Mr. Last name is even worse.
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cronewitch
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Post by cronewitch on Oct 15, 2013 1:45:47 GMT -5
I grew up when no child would ever call an adult by a first name. I was about 21 when I got a neighbor who was about 70 and wanted me to call her by her first name, I just couldn't. By the time I was 25 I had a boss that was about 30 and a CPA, I called him by his first name since he wasn't much older and everyone did. Mom was scandalized that I would do that. Since then I have called nearly everyone by the first name but one elderly CPA I did call mister for 11 years. He said if I had a problem to just say look here John but I knew I never would.
It seems parents are teaching children to call all adults by last names. They will refer to the neighbors and John and Mary to the children so the children don't think of them as Mr and Mrs Smith. We wouldn't have even called a Grandparent by Grandma Mary or Grandpa John.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 15, 2013 8:14:42 GMT -5
I can only recall being irritated about someone calling me by my first name once. It was at a dentist's office and the lady at the desk kept calling me by my first name. I wanted to tell her "Lady, we aren't friends. It's Ms. Lastname for you."
A lot of people seem to look at my first name and decide it's just easier to go with the more recognizable last name anyway. Or they try to pronounce my first name and ask if they said it correctly. I guess out of curiosity.
I'm from the South, and I was taught that it's rude to use people's first name unless they ask you to, unless it's a social setting and that person was introduced to you by first name only. For children, it's Ms./Mr. Lastname when they're addressing adults. Or for adults they know well, they're often allowed to use Ms/Mr Firstname. Ma'am and Sir isn't meant as an insult, it's intended to be respectful. I'm over 40 and I still use ma'am and sir. My coworkers in their early 20's say "ma'am" to me and call me Ms. Firstname, and it doesn't make me feel old or insulted even though I know they do it because they were taught to respect their elders and they consider me an "elder" lol. I usually tell them they don't have to do all that, but it's a hard habit for us Southerners to break.
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Regis
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Post by Regis on Oct 15, 2013 8:30:37 GMT -5
I don't mind being called Regis or Mr. Philbin - either works.
However, one time my son was working at a pizza place and I had called in to order a pizza for pickup. The young man who took my order knew me casually since my son worked there. When he finished taking my order he said, "you can pick it up in about 20 minutes, brother". That was not acceptable customer service IMHO.
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jeffreymo
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Post by jeffreymo on Oct 15, 2013 8:37:08 GMT -5
It doesn't bother me. I usually give my first name when ordering takeout because I have a really common last name.
I will say that I absolutely love it when I'm at a resort and everyone is calling me Mr.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 15, 2013 8:44:14 GMT -5
If I'm on the phone and they constantly use my name, I just roll my eyes. In person, it feels less annoying.
Where I live, the adults are usually called Miss first name. It's weird to me, as I grew up learning Mrs. last name, but its what they do here. So that's what our kid will learn. Not sure if we will teach her to address non teachers/school/daycare folks as Mr/mrs. Last name or what.
At work, everyone uses their first name. Heck, I'd call the CEO by his first name. I work with a lot of PhDs and we would never use their title of Dr. unless we are giving someone a hard time. I actually find it a bit pretentious when people list their academic credentials in their signature. Sure, I've got a few I could list there, but it seems tacky....just my opinion.
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steph08
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Post by steph08 on Oct 15, 2013 9:39:57 GMT -5
I hate being called Mrs. LastName. I've been married four years, but half the time I don't realize someone is talking to me if they say that. I'd prefer to be addressed by my first name. I also don't like ma'am because I am not old.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Oct 15, 2013 9:41:10 GMT -5
I hate being called Mrs. LastName. I've been married four years, but half the time I don't realize someone is talking to me if they say that. I'd prefer to be addressed by my first name. I also don't like ma'am because I am not old. I didn't change my name when I got married, so if I'm called "Mrs. DH's last name" I have no idea who they're talking to.
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