Proof abuse doesn't only happen to the trailer trash poor

[whoami]

From what I read, he didn't even know it was his kid till the last month or two.  She tested some other guy first. 

He apparently stepped up and took care of things when this all happened.  He isn't going to win either way.  Either he is doing it because he cares or he is doing it because its a PR nightmare if he doesn't.  I guess your viewpoint is dependent on how cynical you are.

I don't *get women who don't know who fathered their children....but maybe that's just me.  

[Shooby]

  So, if we aren't supposed to try to understand and speculate, then what is the purpose of the thread?  To just simply come on and express sympathy?  If that is what it is fine.   But, i  presume we are going to have a discussion?  

[Otto the Orange]

shoob - judging by the OP title I think we are supposed to express our shock , our absolute shock  that abuse doesn't only happen to the trailer trash poor

next thing you know someone will suggest it might be possible some priests might prey on vulnerable young boys

[kilroy]

Zibazinski, why would you assume Peterson was paying child support?  He didn't know this child existed until 2 weeks ago.  The story is awful, but it wouldn't even make the news if the father weren't a "celebrity"

[Angel!]

Oct 12, 2013 13:57:06 GMT -5 Shooby said:

  So, if we aren't supposed to try to understand and speculate, then what is the purpose of the thread?  To just simply come on and express sympathy?  If that is what it is fine.   But, i  presume we are going to have a discussion?  

The problem is some of the speculations are disgusting. A single mom must have kids just for a check. A mom like that must not love her kid. A mom like that would leave her kid with anybody because she too damn busy partying to give a crap about what happens to her kid. A mom like that should be in jail. Etc.

We don't know anything about this mom. Maybe she was a bad mom, maybe she was a great mom. We don't know. But we do know a little boy died and I find it horrible that certain people are more than willing to instantly point the finger at the mom simply because she falls into their single mom stereotype. How about more of that anger get directed at the guy who actually laid his hands on a 2 year old in such a way that the boy ended up dead.

[mmhmm]

Frankly, I prefer to limit my speculation to matters about which I have, at least, a modicum of information.  That is not the case here.

[Blonde Granny]

More on the AP story about baby Dad:

nypost.com/2013/10/12/adrian-peterson-saw-son-for-first-time-while-he-was-on-life-support/

Met the child the first time when on life support.  Likely not too much money for the Baby Mom

[Deleted]

Oct 12, 2013 17:11:20 GMT -5 Blonde Granny said:

More on the AP story about baby Dad:

nypost.com/2013/10/12/adrian-peterson-saw-son-for-first-time-while-he-was-on-life-support/

Met the child the first time when on life support.  Likely not too much money for the Baby Mom

Interesting.  Obviously she knew there was a possibility AP was the father for darn near 3 years counting the pregnancy.  So much for the gold digging trophy baby theory.  If that was the case you'd think she'd have been having that test done the day he was born.

[raeoflyte]

I can think of a few scenarios where getting pregnant by an NFL player wouldnt be worth it to go after child support.

[Blonde Granny]

It sounds to me that the boyfriend when off on the little boy because he found out he wasn't the Dad.

[Deleted]

That makes no sense to me, but then again neither does beating a 2 year old for any reason.  You would think that he still would have been bonded to the child after all that time and the one he'd want to beat would be the Mom.

[Deleted]

Oct 12, 2013 8:32:07 GMT -5 swamp said:

Yup, so apparently she is trash. Good moms never have kids who are abused/killed by their partners  and the only reason she had this kid is for a child support check.  

Im glad you guys know so much about her personal circumstances tha you feel comfortable condemning her after her baby died. 

In the good old days the tarring and feathering was always delayed until after the funeral.
 Nowadays, people's demands for instant gratification lead them to lose all sense of propriety.

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

Also, the reality is that non biological fathers are a much greater danger to children. And, where was mom anyway? Why was he watching this child alone?

What?? Shooby, there are thousands and thousands of supportive & loving non-biological and step-fathers who would walk on coals for "their" kids. There's also thousands and thousands of biological fathers who are equally as likely to (or have) abused/murdered children.

This person who inflicted the injuries on the child was the bio-mom's boyfriend - so she probably trusted him with watching her child while she went out. I'm not making her less responsible for his death or letting her off the hook - but you saying that non-bio fathers are a much greater danger to children really gets under my skin because it's just not true.

[Shooby]

You can feign surprise all you want. It isn't something I just made up. But whatever.

[Shooby]

So feel free to google. Non biological fathers have greater rates of child abuse than bio dads. Not my research so take it up with them. And no I am not providing links because this is commonly said by therapists.

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

The only thing that offends me is that you'd label all step or non-bio dads as abusive - which is what you said - and it's blatantly untrue.

There are just as many (and possibly even more) bio-dads who are culpable.

I also said that I'm not giving the bio-mom a free pass for leaving her kid with this loser - she's partially responsible for his death too - but I am still offended by you branding steps or non-bio dads as evil people who murder or abuse children.

[tallguy]

You can feign surprise all you want. It isn't something I just made up. But whatever.

As opposed to MOST of the stuff you post?  

It would be interesting to see a study on the matter.  I don't know what the numbers are either.  But as a practical matter, I would expect them to be different for the mother's "boyfriend" as compared to the mother's "husband."  A non-biological father who went ahead and married the mother CHOSE that lifestyle, and that child.  Their dedication is likely higher on average than biological fathers when taken as a whole.  And NONE of that should be read as saying that any particular father is more or less dedicated by virtue of being the biological father or not.  You cannot generalize it that way.

[Shooby]

If you want to think by saying that I "labeled ALL". Well think whatever you want. I am not constantly going to qualify every comment . It isnt my opinion but the opinion of researchers so call them.

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

I'll also be sure to pass on to my widower brother that he's now stigmatized as a child abuser according to the Book of Shooby - since he's not only the father of two wonderful adopted kids (since his now-deceased wife couldn't conceive),and kids that he adores and would protect with his life, but he's also now the non-bio "step" of his now live-in G/F's 3 (near-adult) kids - who he also adores and supports/loves. So technically, according to your stats (which you won't provide links for), he must be a child abuser or worse because he's not their "real" father.

[Shooby]

CPS Involvement in Families with Social Fathers.” Fragile Families Research Brief No.46. Princeton, NJ and New York, NY: Bendheim-Thomas Center for Research on Child Wellbeing and Social Indicators Survey Center, 2010. - See more at: www.fatherhood.org/media/consequences-of-father-absence-statistics#sthash.BOHtIKqD.dpuf

[Shooby]

It is believed that in families with a non-biological (social) father figure, there is a higher risk of abuse and neglect to children, despite the social father living in the household or only dating the mother. - See more at: www.fatherhood.org/media/consequences-of-father-absence-statistics#sthash.BOHtIKqD.Rx4c0a5S.dpuf

[Shooby]

Oct 12, 2013 9:09:37 GMT -5 milee said:

Angel, let's at least get the terminology right, I'm sure Zib and Shooby didn't mean to imply she "popped" out a kid.  Surely, the implication was that she "spewed" forth the spawn.  And sheesh, trash like that can't possibly be sad that her child has died, she's just partying it up complaining that she "lost her meal ticket."


In case it's not obvious that the prior paragraph was sarcasm, let me be clear and state that unless Shooby and Zib know the mother personally or have read more details about the mother than I've seen anywhere, they are being incredibly nasty and judgmental about someone who is probably grieving and about whom we know virtually nothing. 

I said nothing about "popping" a kid so don't put words in my mouth or quote me as if I did.

[Shooby]

I actually made NONE of those statements. If you want to quote me do so accurately and don't presume to know what I think about anything.

[Shooby]

Oct 11, 2013 16:37:59 GMT -5 constanz22 said:

Most studies show that severe child abuse/shaken baby syndrome/death is almost ALWAYS a boyfriend (or girlfriend) of the parent.

Here is a partial quote saying what I said. So are you going to take this poster to task too or just me?

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

Shooby, your two links take me to the same page - and they're about "father absence" - or basically, baby-daddy not being in the picture or supportive of the children they spawned.

What you did before that was label ALL step-dads and non-bio dads as child abusers - and capable of murder.

That's where I have a huge problem. Because my brother is one of the most loving, supportive and caring people I know and would give his life for his 2  (NON-bio) adopted children - who they received as newborns and are now adults.

Any guy can be a baby-daddy - that doesn't make him a FATHER.

This thread was about the deadbeat loser boyfriend of the bio-mom who allowed him to watch her kids.

The football player bio-dad didn't even know that this was his child until very recently.

You basically labeled all steps and non-bio dads as evil people.

[Virgil Showlion]

Oct 12, 2013 21:16:46 GMT -5 Shooby said:

Oct 11, 2013 16:37:59 GMT -5 constanz22 said:

Most studies show that severe child abuse/shaken baby syndrome/death is almost ALWAYS a boyfriend (or girlfriend) of the parent.

Here is a partial quote saying what I said. So are you going to take this poster to task too or just me?

I think she intended the quotes as a kind of ad hoc disclaimer that she didn't endorse the statement.

You've pointed it out, and I will verify: none of the items she quoted were actually stated by anyone.

And some free advice: the next time a stupid thread title dares you to prove that abuse does only happen to trailer trash poor people, consider putting it out of its misery by walking on by.

[mmhmm]

My son is a step-dad and devoted to my three grandchildren.  We consider 'em ours!  My kids were loved and cared for by their step-dad.  They called him "dad", and have often stated he was the only real dad they'd ever had.  Abuse can raise its ugly head in any social set, and does far more often than any of us would like, I'm sure.

[Deleted]

There's a picture on this site of the house.  Looks like a nice suburban neighborhood.  And if she wasn't getting money from AP and boyfriend just moved in, I would assume she has a job and is not gold digging trailer trash....

www.heavy.com/news/2013/10/joseph-joey-patterson-adrian-peterson-son-attack/

[swamp]

Actually, moms boyfriend/second husband us the one statisticalky more likely to abuse the kids. However, there are far more who dont abuse.

[zibazinski]

Btw, the abuser of the child in my old neighborhood, mom got pregnant by a rock star and he paid a lot of money in support, enough to make sure mom and daughter lived in a nice neighborhood and mom didn't have to work, was moms live in boyfriend and mom did nothing about it but keep moving every time a complaint was made about the child. Poor child. I hope she lived because she'd be over 18 now and maybe out of that house. So it isn't just trailer trash at all but desperate moms who need a man in their life to complete them, no matter what kind of man it is. That mom as well as the mom in my old neighborhood, knew that her child was being abused. That makes them, IMHO, guiltier than the perp. Who brings a man around their children without knowing the mans background? Not a good mom. But then, I think, that fact was already established.