I know it's stupid

[whoisjohngalt]

But for some reason I just find it annoying. 

omg.yahoo.com/blogs/celeb-news/lea-michele-lost-two-people-cory-died-173504188.html

I don't watch Glee, so didn't know his actor and I guess he ODed on drugs and died.  So, his g/f and co-star says in an interview

"I really woke up every single day feeling like I was being in some sort of spell or something, that I was lucky enough to have him in my life. I feel like what happened with Cory [regarding the cause of his death] was this big," she notes, holding her fingers out to reflect a small amount. "… in the scheme of who he was and his life. There was no greater man than Cory, so for the time we spent together I consider myself very lucky.”

Really??  Out of all the men in the world, past and present, there was no one greater than your drug addict BF?

Yeah, I know it's an interview, blah blah blah - but do people ever think about what they say??

[Sam_2.0]

In her mind that may well be true. Addiction is horrible, but it does not mean he wasn't a good person. Just that he had some hellish demons that sadly won.

People tend to really gloss over bad qualities and magnify the good ones when a person dies. My grandmother could be a horrible mean bitch, but she passed 15 years ago and now everyone talks about her like she was a saint. We all know she wasn't, but there's that whole "Don't speak ill of the dead" thing.

[greeniis10]

Yep, I agree with Sam: don't speak ill of the dead, denial, and selective memory comes into play as well. 

I don't know much about the case you are talking about OP, but overall this type of thing bugs me too.  Show that person that much care and attention when they are alive; not after it's too late.  (Again, maybe she did, but I don't know.  Just a generalization on my part.)

[reader79]

I was a little annoyed that they included him in the Emmy tribute, but left out the guy from Dallas. 

[imawino]

Oct 10, 2013 12:12:37 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

But for some reason I just find it annoying. 

omg.yahoo.com/blogs/celeb-news/lea-michele-lost-two-people-cory-died-173504188.html

I don't watch Glee, so didn't know his actor and I guess he ODed on drugs and died.  So, his g/f and co-star says in an interview

"I really woke up every single day feeling like I was being in some sort of spell or something, that I was lucky enough to have him in my life. I feel like what happened with Cory [regarding the cause of his death] was this big," she notes, holding her fingers out to reflect a small amount. "… in the scheme of who he was and his life. There was no greater man than Cory, so for the time we spent together I consider myself very lucky.”

Really??  Out of all the men in the world, past and present, there was no one greater than your drug addict BF?

Yeah, I know it's an interview, blah blah blah - but do people ever think about what they say??

Why do you assume she didn't think about what she said?  Would you have preferred "I was in love with him, but whatever, he's gone now"?  She's entitled to think and say positive things about her boyfriend.

[NancysSummerSip]

I can see where Lea Michele is coming from, even though I admit I never watched the show.

They were close to one another, to the point where marriage was in their plans.
They were young and in love. First serious relationship for both of them, if memory serves me right.
I think she was smart enough to be able to separate Cory the addict from Cory the man, and it was the latter person she loved.
She may not have been old enough to be wise enough to realize that addiction is forever.
She did support him in his final rehab stint, which I give her kudos for. I think she knew the difference between providing support and trying to rescue.
She loved his family, and they apparently thought well of her. It does none of his family any good if she speaks badly of him. After all, she lost a boyfriend and fellow actor. They lost a child.

[Deleted]

It is over the top, but that is what happen when people die.   Right now, my wife is no where near the top of the list of greatest women but if she died I might put her in the top 100.

[NancysSummerSip]

Oct 10, 2013 12:55:28 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

It is over the top, but that is what happen when people die.   Right now, my wife is no where near the top of the list of greatest women but if she died I might put her in the top 100.

<<Clubs Archie over the head and calls Mrs. Archie, just to see if she thinks he's the greatest thing since sliced bread>>

[whoisjohngalt]

You guys are missing my point.  It has nothing to do with speaking ill of the dead.

Even if he was a great guy, to say that he was "a greatest man" is a bit much.   Which makes me wonder how wide her horizons are.

[cronewitch]

Don't speak ill of the dead because they can't defend themselves and other people can be hurt by it.

One niece told me my mom was a racist at mom's funeral. Mom wasn't she should have talked to her about it when she was alive. If mom was a racist I don't need to know about it. I should need to defend my mom at her funeral.

[whoisjohngalt]

And it has nothing to do with his addiction either.

[souldoubt]

Just words from the mouth of someone who lost a loved one and nothing more, not a big deal at all.  Never watched the show but saw the news when he died and the only thing that I didn't agree with was as someone else mentioned he got an emmy tribute while they skipped over people much more accomplished and celebrated.  I'm not surprised it happened though because more people watching knew who he was than some of the older actors and actresses and it's all about the almighty dollar. 

[Sam_2.0]

Oct 10, 2013 13:03:15 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

You guys are missing my point.  It has nothing to do with speaking ill of the dead.

Even if he was a great guy, to say that he was "a greatest man" is a bit much.   Which makes me wonder how wide her horizons are.

People tend to exaggerate. A LOT. We LOVE everything, something is always the "greatest ever", etc. I don't think it's that she doesn't know of anyone anywhere greater than him.

[shanendoah]

If something happened to C, I might call him one of the greatest men I'd ever known. Heck, if nothing happens to C, I'll still call him one of the greatest men I've ever known- and my grandfather is a 3 war veteran.
There is a matter of perception here. I know there are "greater" men out there than C, but as his wife, I reserve the right to think of him as one of the greatest men I've ever known.

Would we be condemning Michelle Williams if she referred to Heath Ledger as one of the greatest men she'd ever known?

She lost someone she loved very much in a tragic way. He had been struggling to overcome addiction and an unhappy past. At times he seemed like he beat it, but addiction is stronger than most of us want to think about. In terms of her life, and her love, I have no issues with her thinking no one was greater.

With luck, someday she will meet someone who compares. She will be able to move past this tragic loss and find love again.


For the record, I am not a huge fan of the show- watched it the first season but that's about it. However, my cousin has been a regular "extra" on Glee for the last couple of seasons, and she never had a bad word to say about Cory. Said he was one of the nicest people to work with.

[Tiny]

Oct 10, 2013 13:03:15 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

You guys are missing my point.  It has nothing to do with speaking ill of the dead.

Even if he was a great guy, to say that he was "a greatest man" is a bit much.   Which makes me wonder how wide her horizons are.

I get what you're saying.  It's semantics.  It's the script we've got in our head and it's what other people (think of Glee's target audience  - young people <-- not implying 'stupid' by anymeans) expect to be said.

She left off the part that everyone seems to assume:   he was the greatest man "AT THIS MOMENT in my life" .     Just add a generic "at this moment" at the end of these kinds of statements that stars, family, and friends make.   It helps to cultivate compassion for them (rather than any other negative emotion you might be getting).    That's why people say that kinda stuff.. because they are living in the moment.

[whoisjohngalt]

OK, I am not going to go back and forth on this, so I am going to end with:

She didn't say "greatest man "I" ever known"  She said "there is no greater man than Cory"

Yes, I find it....I don't....there is something wrong with that.   At least in MY opinion.

I would say the same thing about Heath Ledger as well. 

[Tennesseer]

Oct 10, 2013 13:59:57 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

OK, I am not going to go back and forth on this, so I am going to end with:

She didn't say "greatest man "I" ever known"  She said "there is no greater man than Cory"

Yes, I find it....I don't....there is something wrong with that.   At least in MY opinion.

I would say the same thing about Heath Ledger as well. 

Why on earth do you even care what she said let alone start a thread about it? Geeez.

[Icelandic Woman]

Oct 10, 2013 12:34:18 GMT -5 reader79 said:

I was a little annoyed that they included him in the Emmy tribute, but left out the guy from Dallas. 

Seriously? They dissed Larry Hagman? That is blasphemy!!

[Tennesseer]

[Source] Icelandic Woman said:

Oct 10, 2013 12:34:18 GMT -5 reader79 said:

I was a little annoyed that they included him in the Emmy tribute, but left out the guy from Dallas. 

Seriously? They dissed Larry Hagman? That is blasphemy!!

Hagman's passing was noted. Producers decided to give Monteith a minute or two special salute because his show has a large youth following.

[Icelandic Woman]

Oct 10, 2013 14:23:08 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

[Source] Icelandic Woman said:

Seriously? They dissed Larry Hagman? That is blasphemy!!

Hagman's passing was noted. Producers decided to give Monteith a minute or two special salute because his show has a large youth following.

LOL I had no idea who he was until he died.

[imawino]

Oct 10, 2013 13:59:57 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

OK, I am not going to go back and forth on this, so I am going to end with:

She didn't say "greatest man "I" ever known"  She said "there is no greater man than Cory"

Yes, I find it....I don't....there is something wrong with that.   At least in MY opinion.

I would say the same thing about Heath Ledger as well. 

I don't understand why you are getting so cranky - you even said in the freaking title you knew it was a stupid thing to post, don't get mad that people seem to agree.  

[greeniis10]

Nancy's post (#5) is very insightful and well thought out.  I agree with that.

Lena, I WILL agree with you also in both your OP and post #15 and the original quote of "there is no greater man than Cory" for two reasons:
1. It makes Lea look extremely shallow and, like you said, like she doesn't have very broad horizons to base this opinion from.
2. Sets the bar pretty low for all the youth that are fans of the show.  "Great" people are great for a reason; NOT just because they are overpaid celebrities. 

[NancysSummerSip]

Oct 10, 2013 14:54:58 GMT -5 greeniis10 said:

Nancy's post (#5) is very insightful and well thought out.  I agree with that.

Lena, I WILL agree with you also in both your OP and post #15 and the original quote of "there is no greater man than Cory" for two reasons:
1. It makes Lea look extremely shallow and, like you said, like she doesn't have very broad horizons to base this opinion from.
2. Sets the bar pretty low for all the youth that are fans of the show.  "Great" people are great for a reason; NOT just because they are overpaid celebrities. 

And I think that someday, years from now, when Lea Michele has healed and gotten older and more experienced and moved on to another man, she will come to an understanding that indeed, Cory was a great man at that time in her life. But at that time in her life, she hadn't lived very much or very long; her horizons are indeed not very broad at this point, as she is very young.
 A part of her will always love the man, rather than the addict. I think she is smart enough to know there was a difference, as are many of us who have lived in that situation. I give her credit for kindness and discretion thus far.

[greeniis10]

True, very true.  We all make mis-steps at times when we speak, especially when it comes to a subject like death, so I mean no personal disrespect to Lea.  I don't know what to say half the time, so I sure wouldn't want to have to say something to the media!  (You know, so it could get picked apart like I'm doing here.  Oops.  Time to practice what I preach.)

[NancysSummerSip]

Oct 10, 2013 15:29:46 GMT -5 greeniis10 said:

True, very true.  We all make mis-steps at times when we speak, especially when it comes to a subject like death, so I mean no personal disrespect to Lea.  I don't know what to say half the time, so I sure wouldn't want to have to say something to the media!  (You know, so it could get picked apart like I'm doing here.  Oops.  Time to practice what I preach.)

Say what? Picked apart? Here? Perish the thought!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Peace Of Mind]

I agree with you, Lena.  It's stupid that this annoys you. 

[NancysSummerSip]

Oct 10, 2013 15:50:26 GMT -5 Peace Of Mind said:

I agree with you, Lena.  It's stupid that this annoys you. 

Oh. dear. Must.Whack.Pom.Now.

And then LMAO.

[whoisjohngalt]

Oct 10, 2013 15:50:26 GMT -5 Peace Of Mind said:

I agree with you, Lena.  It's stupid that this annoys you. 

ha ha ha ha, aren't you funny

[Deleted]

You have to take the comment in context. She is defending him from being thought of as the druggie that overdosed. In context she is saying "he's not just some druggie"

[kittensaver]

Oct 10, 2013 18:15:42 GMT -5 @justaposter said:

You have to take the comment in context. She is defending him from being thought of as the druggie that overdosed. In context she is saying "he's not just some druggie"

No, he is not "just some druggie." He is a dead celebrity druggie  Cue all the stuff about not speaking ill of the dead . . . . and living in denial . . . .