Filing Married Filing Seperately

[bean29]

I have a few days left to file my 2012 tax return which is on extension.

I am questioning if my DH is getting ready to file for divorce.

DH is self employed and I always have questions about how the $$ are spent - significant cash withdrawals.  Also there are 3 credit cards and I am missing about half the CC statements.  This is always a problem and I always end up filing the return with out having all the info.  I have called and asked the CC companies to fax missing statements but they will only fax to the office and then he claims he did not receive them.

My name is not on the CC's but we are in WI so they are marital property.
CC debt is about 10% of the value of the business which is also marital property.

A week or two ago DH canceled a large term life policy he had on himself which I was benficiary for.  He says it was not worth the $500/month premium.  May be true but I am freaked b/c we have mortgages up the ying yang.
Not sure if a lawyer would have advised him to cancel the life insurance before he filed for divorce?

I can never even come close to ac**** for his 1099 income - business expenses = owner withdrawals that go to our joint account.  He takes significant cash and is vague about how it is spent.  I think that word is supposed to be account - don't know why proboards inserted the ****?

So I am thinking about filing married filing seperately - it woud drive up the tax due but I don't have to worry about the IRS taking my income to pay his taxes then right?  Can I file Married filing seperately if the extension I filed said we would file a joint return?

[The Captain]

I'm sorry to hear how things are going for you.  Won't delve into relationship issues since you didn't ask but know that we're rooting for you.


I'm more of a corporate tax person, but mwcpa is always spot on when he gives advice in this area.

[bean29]

Captain,

I am married 21 years this year and the crap has been going on the entire time I have been married.  I am just not sure I want to deal with it anymore.

I used to just not engage him, but I am so Fed up with him I have a hard time not picking fights about this stuff.  This mornig when I asked for the CC statements he said so are you done in the bathroom b/c I have to get ready.  Classic diversion tactic.  He uses that crap all the time.

I have been thinking I am doing my self a disservice to stay in this relationship b/c I am so unhappy and unsettled financially.  We have a good income but the what ifs regarding divorce and marital debt really freak me out.

DH just tells me I am paranoid and I am blowing stuff out of proportion.

I was thinking about staying to my DD who is 16 is through college but that is a lot of time to put up with him and live in fear that divorce will put me into bankruptcy.  I am an accountant - and I fear bankruptcy would prevent me from gainful employment.

PS I don't discuss Marital Property and the business debt with DH too much b/c I think he may not be aware that his buisness is marital property so I just don't go there with him.

[The Captain]

Oct 9, 2013 10:30:14 GMT -5 bean29 said:

Captain,

I am married 21 years this year and the crap has been going on the entire time I have been married.  I am just not sure I want to deal with it anymore.

DH and I have been married 20 years, I understand where you are coming from.

I used to just not engage him, but I am so Fed up with him I have a hard time not picking fights about this stuff.  This mornig when I asked for the CC statements he said so are you done in the bathroom b/c I have to get ready.  Classic diversion tactic.  He uses that crap all the time.

A marriage is a partnership, and BOTH partners deserve to be fully informed on ALL aspects of their relationship INCLUDING financial matters.

I have been thinking I am doing my self a disservice to stay in this relationship b/c I am so unhappy and unsettled financially.  We have a good income but the what ifs regarding divorce and marital debt really freak me out.

You are ENTITLED to have full knowledge, and need to discuss this with him.  You are entitled to some happiness in your life.  If you cannot achieve that with him then you do yourself, and your daughter, a disservice by setting an example for her of staying in a stressful relationship.

DH just tells me I am paranoid and I am blowing stuff out of proportion.

You already know this is not true, you need to discuss this with him and tell him in no uncertain terms what you NEED (for goodness sakes, you're an accountant, it's in your blood!) in terms of informtion to be able to sleep at night.

I was thinking about staying to my DD who is 16 is through college but that is a lot of time to put up with him and live in fear that divorce will put me into bankruptcy.  I am an accountant - and I fear bankruptcy would prevent me from gainful employment.

Valid fear.  I am a Tax accountant and know exactly the risks involved in having a BK on record.

PS I don't discuss Marital Property and the business debt with DH too much b/c I think he may not be aware that his buisness is marital property so I just don't go there with him.

Ok, sounds like you do need some support...my thoughts are in bold above. The big question is do you love him and do you want to work on the relationship? DH and I have gone to counseling three separate times, sometimes everything (including a marriage) needs a tune-up. Only you know the answer to that.

Again good luck with everything. 

[mwcpa]

"it woud drive up the tax due but I don't have to worry about the IRS taking my income to pay his taxes then right? "

A separate return would generally create a separate tax debt that the other spouce would not be obligated to pay.

"Can I file Married filing seperately if the extension I filed said we would file a joint return?"

Yes

[Ombud]

Have a friend wondering the same thing. Would any of these be applicable:

1. Injured spouse
2. Innnocent spouse
3. Equitable relief

[TheOtherMe]

I would be very concerned about signing a joint tax return when you are not sure about the numbers you are putting down.

From a retired IRS agent's viewpoint.  

[bean29]

The other me...I actually think I am under reporting expenses. I need documentation to deduct something so I am pretty sure we over report income.
ETA DH's income is all reported on 1099's but he is very disorganized and often tells me he is too busy to collect whatever paperwork I am looking for. It is very frustrating.
Sent from my MB855 using proboards

[Deleted]

I would not be on board with canceling a life insurance policy & yes, sounds like he's exercising a secret life.

mwcpa answered your tax questions, I just want to tell you that you need to get yourself to an attorney ASAP.  It is highly likely this guy is planning to do a runner & take all the cash with him . . . sounds like he wants that $500 a month in cash now.

You need to arm yourself proactively so you are not high and dry when he takes the accounts and runs.

1. Get a PO Box
2. Get your own individual bank account - start moving direct deposits & syphon cash from existing accounts fast!!!  You are NOT doing this to hide money, but to make sure you have money he can't wipe out if he takes off.  YOU need to be able to pay the bills and support the kids if he bails in some flamboyant mid life crisis stupidity.
3. Consult with a couple attorneys - and fast.  Make sure you understand what he could be setting up so you can subvert it.  Yes, upon filing for divorce he would not be able to cancel life insurance and you could require it stay in force long term.  However canceling it right before filing can also be seen negatively and as preemptive.  But he could have a 1-2 year plan, in which case he can do A LOT of damage while setting himself up to leave you burdened with debt.

RUN a credit check on him & see how many accounts he has and the total balances . . . might be some surprises there.  If he sends all personal mail through the office, you may need to go on a stealth mission to get copies of stuff . . . more surprises.  But once you file for divorce you will lose ALL access to anything in his possession & he won't give it up.  Hate to tell you but the court quite often overlooks information the spouse claims not to have/lost etc.  They can't physically make them provide it, and don't move to sanction unless there is a lot of bad behavior.  Bottom line, don't expect him to turn over documents just because the court tells him to.  And any attorney that tells you no worries, he has to give it to the court, isn't the right attorney for your situation.  You need someone that understands the ways to overcome a deceitful opponent and can advise you what and how  you go get stuff now while it is legal to do so.