NancysSummerSip
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 19:19:42 GMT -5
Posts: 36,676
Today's Mood: Full of piss and vinegar
Favorite Drink: Anything with ice
|
Post by NancysSummerSip on Oct 8, 2013 16:09:30 GMT -5
Hmmmm, when I married forever ago pre-wedding parties were unheard of. But if I were in the wedding age now, there is no way I would invite myself to a guy thing. Nor would DH invite himself to a girl thing. Even flying cross country and knowing absolutely no one ... I would find something to do. I wouldn't be completely unhappy sitting without DH if he had wedding responsibilities to do. It's just a couple of days out of my life. Life is too short for this. Weddings are supposed to be a celebration of joy. What am I missing? Don't be silly. Weddings are a show, an extravaganza, an event. It's all about coordinating dance moves among the bridal party, ten thousand-dollar dresses that make the bride look like an overblown creampuff, table settings so elaborate that children and clumsy people must be excluded from the guest list, and registries so expensive, they make the guests wonder if they are buying gifts or attending a formal robbery.
|
|
quince
Senior Member
Joined: Sept 23, 2011 17:51:12 GMT -5
Posts: 2,699
|
Post by quince on Oct 8, 2013 16:09:31 GMT -5
I hate the idea of parties divided by gender, so I would not be OK with being expected to hang out "with the girls."
I AM OK with parties being invite only, and I don't look at my husband and myself as a single unit.
I also hate weddings, so this would never be a problem as I refuse to ever attend another one.
|
|
ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
Community Leader
♡ ♡ BᏋՆᎥᏋᏉᏋ ♡ ♡
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 16:12:51 GMT -5
Posts: 43,130
Location: Inside POM's Head
Favorite Drink: Chilled White Zin
|
Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Oct 8, 2013 16:19:11 GMT -5
I was just going to say the show was "Cash Cab".
I wouldn't have wanted to attend DH's bachelor night out (stag). A bunch of guys getting wasted and playing poker or going to a strip club doesn't sound like my idea of a good time. (Maybe if I was into chicks).
When he had his stag, we ladies went out to dinner then a nightclub for dancing & drinking.
We also held our separate parties the weekend BEFORE the wedding - so neither of us would show up hung-over, sick, or dragging our ass to the altar.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 8:33:14 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 8, 2013 16:25:16 GMT -5
We did our Bachelor/Bachelorette parties on the same night. Most of our friends are couples so they both had somewhere to be on the same night!
|
|
Opti
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 10:45:38 GMT -5
Posts: 42,242
Location: New Jersey
Mini-Profile Name Color: c28523
Mini-Profile Text Color: 990033
|
Post by Opti on Oct 8, 2013 16:31:25 GMT -5
WWBG, another scenario. If your friend was under the weather he may have wanted to bring her to keep an eye on him and make sure they left the guy event early. It would make not going at all the better choice versus attending by himself.
|
|
8 Bit WWBG
Administrator
Your Money admin
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 8:57:29 GMT -5
Posts: 9,322
Today's Mood: Mega
|
Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Oct 8, 2013 16:58:51 GMT -5
I get what you are trying to say optimist. Maybe he had the most perfect legitimate reason for her coming with us, rather than going with the girls. Or maybe he didn't. I let it be. It all worked out.
I'd like to believe that I was pretty reasonable with the things that I asked for. I didn't ask anyone to fork out a ton for a one day outfit. I didn't ask for a big party, just one dinner. I didn't monopolize a 4 day weekend and make people take time off work.
|
|
shanendoah
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 19:44:48 GMT -5
Posts: 10,096
Mini-Profile Name Color: 0c3563
|
Post by shanendoah on Oct 8, 2013 17:04:50 GMT -5
Last time I was invited to a wedding where I knew someone and C knew no one other than the bride, he stayed home. Saved us money right there since it was an out of state wedding (and since it was Firebird's wedding, saving money was a perfectly valid reason).
Prior to that, the last wedding we attended where there was a ladies' thing and a guys' thing, the bride and groom were both from my circle of friends, not C's. I went to the bride's thing (chocolate and wine- I don't drink wine) but I joked about dropping the ladies and heading over to the groom's event, as they were at my favorite steakhouse (and I was friends with not only the groom, but all the guys at his party). This was also out of state for us, and while C came for the wedding, he stayed behind the night of the parties and was happier for it. (He is an introvert, though, so that makes a difference.)
As for separating couples and putting them at different tables, that's not some new-fangled idea just to annoy you, it is actually TRADITIONAL wedding/large dinner party etiquette. You split up the couples so that they do not have the option of talking only to each other. This is meant like an icebreaker- a way to get people to talk to those they do not already know. It also then gives the couple something to talk about after the event, since they both experienced it differently.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 8:33:14 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 8, 2013 18:23:57 GMT -5
We got married out of town and just had a drunken mess of parties the day before and the day of....everyone invited.
|
|
gooddecisions
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 22, 2010 13:42:28 GMT -5
Posts: 2,418
|
Post by gooddecisions on Oct 8, 2013 21:10:44 GMT -5
I was invited to my buddy's wedding in Vegas (which is a flight away) a few years ago. My boyfriend (now husband) at the time came with me since it was a destination wedding and he was welcome. I knew every one of the guys and had been friends with them since I was 13. I knew none of the girls, including the bride since he moved away and met her in the state they lived. We split up as expected 2 nights before the wedding- me with the girls, him with the guys. I thought it was great that we were both included in the activities even though we could have easily been left out given the situation. My boyfriend got to hang out with all my friends and I got to hang out with a bunch of girls I didn't know. We both had a blast. I can't imagine elbowing my way in with the bachelor activities- that would be weird.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 8:33:14 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 9, 2013 7:25:04 GMT -5
I wasn't annoyed, but I was overwhelmed. Please forgive those of us who have some social anxiety. It was a black-tie affair at one of the most exclusive clubs in the city, so it wasn't just the seating arrangements that had me on edge. I spent most of the night making sure I didn't do or say something gauche. At least we were guaranteed not to have to endure the chicken dance!
|
|
shanendoah
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 19:44:48 GMT -5
Posts: 10,096
Mini-Profile Name Color: 0c3563
|
Post by shanendoah on Oct 9, 2013 10:23:56 GMT -5
@beerwench - sorry, wasn't trying to pick on you. As an introvert, C would hate that situation. And while it is traditional, it's not common anymore. I think if people are going to do that, they should let you know in advance. It should not be a surprise when you get to the event.
|
|