Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 6, 2013 9:03:39 GMT -5
Do you ever have to listen to any braggers? Do you have an acquaintance or coworker that talks about how great their life is, how healthy they eat, how much weight they lost, etc., etc., etc? Someone that can do everything better?
I know someone that does that. For the past few weeks I have just been listening and nodding - not saying anything positive or negative. I wouldn't want their life so I am not jealous or anything. I just don't want to hear about it.
Do you have any examples so I know I am not alone? How do you handle people like that? Is there any way to get them to stop?
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Oct 6, 2013 9:11:21 GMT -5
I don't know. I mean what are people supposed to talk about anymore? If you talk about good stuff in your life or how you or your family are doing well you are bragging. If you talk about things that aren't going well, then you are a whining debbie downer. Not sure where they happy medium is anymore.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 6, 2013 9:20:33 GMT -5
Like you I just nod and smile; no negative comments and congratulate them on such a great life/outcome.
No skin of my back and doesn't cost me a thing.
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Oct 6, 2013 9:21:43 GMT -5
-idunno-Some people need external confirmation to maintain their self esteem. Others find in within. Just find a way to excuse yourself from the conversation. By the way, Kristen Wiig does a great gig on Saturday Night Live as THE consummate bragger. She has done it ALL better/faster/bigger than anyone else in the history of man. You might find a sample of it on Youtube. I wonder if braggers ever see themselves in her.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Oct 6, 2013 9:24:55 GMT -5
So, just give them a hip hip hoooray and high five and go about your day.
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Otto the Orange
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Go Orange!
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Post by Otto the Orange on Oct 6, 2013 9:51:31 GMT -5
you met WCP in real life?
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dannylion
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Post by dannylion on Oct 6, 2013 9:51:55 GMT -5
The wonderful phrase "Well bless your heart" was made for situations like that.
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Cass
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Post by Cass on Oct 6, 2013 10:02:17 GMT -5
I took a Food Handlers' course last week to beef up the resume. There was a Subway manager in the group who took herself way too seriously. Everybody had to know she was manager, and she kept excusing herself for work related calls. Lady, it's Subway
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 6, 2013 10:02:38 GMT -5
Sometimes when people are happy it is hard for them not to gush... They should be more respectful i guess. It is also hard because everyone is different. Some people need to say things out loud. Some would rather keep things to themselves. It's hard to be one and understand the other.
I also often fail at recognizing what is the 'right amount' of sharing.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 6, 2013 11:54:02 GMT -5
Thank goodness we have our little forum here! No need to annoy the people we really care about and interact with about what is going on and what is important to us..... Exactly, why else come to YM but to slap folks with our Benjamins!
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Nazgul Girl
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Post by Nazgul Girl on Oct 6, 2013 12:19:18 GMT -5
I can annoy some people by talking about "stuff" too much. Others have considered me way too quiet. I do discuss things here that even my family, except for my father, are way too sensitive about. Sometimes, there is even jealousy. In the past, as I have written, I was considered the "poor" member of my siblings. Now, we're booming. I can't keep up with big houses, but we do have a comfortable lifestyle, and don't worry about paying a mortgage every month. I just say, if there is any dissention about what DH & I "have" ( you mean, worked for ? ! ), or where we go on vacation, that I have been very poor in the past, and that now, we just try to live a good live while ENJOYING ourselves ! I mean, some people have lakefront cottages. We go to Florida for a week or ten days once a year. What's to be jealous of ? It's just different allotment of middle-class resources. Also, we don't shop all of the time, eat out mostly in small, family-owned restaurants, etc. We'll put a $10 patch put on a good-enough tire that's already on one of the cars, rather than buy a new one. If somebody boasts a lot, I just smile and am happy for them. If they're trying to intimidate me at work, which has happened in the past, I turn up the next week wearing some really, really good jewelry, and for some reason, once they see the sparkles, they just shut up !
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Nazgul Girl
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Post by Nazgul Girl on Oct 6, 2013 12:22:21 GMT -5
Also, if someone doesn't have much in the way of material goods, they can talk about their healthy lifestyle, because that's really an asset to them. I think it can get tiresome, but I've been inspired by some relatives and coworkers to do better on my diet and exercise. I've learned and asked for some tips, which have been generously given out. I think that sometimes, a person can be in our lives so that we can learn from them. Maybe, the OP can learn from Miss Healthful about how she's doing it.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Oct 6, 2013 12:35:55 GMT -5
What is bragging to one person isn't always to another. A friend of mine was talking about hiring a housekeeper. And, i don't mean like the Kardashians but someone who would come over twice a month and do her cleaning. I know quite a few people doing this who don't make that much money at all. It isn't that uncommon around here. Anyway, when she walked off, another person in the conversation took it as "bragging" whereas to me that didn't occur to me at all. And, in my opinion, we were just making conversation at the water cooler.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 6, 2013 12:44:33 GMT -5
Apparently a relative of mine thought I was bragging about my life in Italy and posted a long post about how she needs to learn to not be jealous of others and all the amazing things that they get to do because behind all the pictures is probably a person whose life is a mess and they are dropping balls. Uhm....ok. So I am not supposed to share pictures or talk about my life in Italy because people might get upset and thinking I am bragging?
(and yes I know she was talking about me because of some comments that she posted in response to other people's comments).
And another relative felt the need to make a snide comment about me hiring a housekeeper to come in once a week to help out. I happened to have the day off the day the housekeeper was coming and I didn't cancel her. I went to lunch with a friend I hadn't seen in a long time instead. My relative said something along the lines that if I have time to run around with my friends then I have time to clean.
So what is ok to talk about anymore? What is ok to share?
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Oct 6, 2013 13:03:21 GMT -5
Oh, heck yes. A coworker who not only brags, but one-ups anything anyone else says. She's always got it better or worse than you; she's been sicker or more injured than you, she's had the same surgery as you (but suffered far more), her dogs are better than any pet you ever owned, her car is better than yours, yada, yada, yada.
If you listen to what she says, her life is just a magic carpet ride. The harsh reality: she gets calls from creditors at work, she's so cash poor she buys lunch on a credit card and her house is falling apart. I don't bother speaking to her, other than for professional reasons.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Oct 6, 2013 13:21:19 GMT -5
I don't know anyone I'd consider a braggart. I do know several individuals who externalize failure. Everything is always somebody else's fault, and every conversation comes armed with an arsenal of "but..."s and "I can't do that because..."s. Individuals clearly more interested in justifying the existence of their problems than in lifting a finger to fix them.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 6, 2013 13:21:37 GMT -5
Also, if someone doesn't have much in the way of material goods, they can talk about their healthy lifestyle, because that's really an asset to them. I think it can get tiresome, but I've been inspired by some relatives and coworkers to do better on my diet and exercise. I've learned and asked for some tips, which have been generously given out. I think that sometimes, a person can be in our lives so that we can learn from them. Maybe, the OP can learn from Miss Healthful about how she's doing it. No thanks. I am older than she is, weigh 50 pounds less than her, and exercise more. I also don't borrow money to buy UTVs, boats, etc. Now that I think about it, maybe she is in my life so I learn what not to do.
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Oct 6, 2013 13:22:40 GMT -5
IMO there is a huge difference in sharing your life and adventures or new purchases to those that have to one up everybody and have to control every conversation with them, them, them. Yes, we have a bragger in our group and I got stuck sitting next to her. Ugh!!! We went out for Octoberfest and ate at a German restaurant. She starts the conversation by saying how she HATES German food. Fine. I get that but then she goes into her usual brag, brag, brag, me, me, me. Here is what is the most irritating example of her conversation: Male friend: I just came down to say hi to you guys and see how you are doing. (There were 12 of us) Me: Having a great time! How are you doing? Bragger: I just bought 5 I Phones, sold a property and made a bizzillion dollars off it, my son - who as you know is in medical school to become a doctor - blah, blah, blah. And my niece - who is just a knock out - is divorcing her husband who sold his business for $3,000,000, blah, blah, blah... Me: Ummm, so how is your son doing? Male friend: <<looking relieved>> He's doing much better! Thank you for asking. Bragger: What's wrong with your son? Male friend: He got hurt at his last football game. He got a concussion. This is his second one and I'm not sure he should still be playing next year. Bragger: Oh. My son, who played tennis when he was in school and the top 7-8 best players IN THE ENTIRE STATE blah, blah, blah... Male friend: Oh, that's nice. Ummm, ok... I just wanted to say hello. Gonna go sit down now. Me: Take me with youuuuuuuuuu! <<grabs hold of his leg>>
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Oct 6, 2013 13:27:10 GMT -5
IMO there is a huge difference in sharing your life and adventures or new purchases to those that have to one up everybody and have to control every conversation with them, them, them. Yes, we have a bragger in our group and I got stuck sitting next to her. Ugh!!! We went out for Octoberfest and ate at a German restaurant. She starts the conversation by saying how she HATES German food. Fine. I get that but then she goes into her usual brag, brag, brag, me, me, me. Here is what is the most irritating example of her conversation: Male friend: I just came down to say hi to you guys and see how you are doing. (There were 12 of us) Me: Having a great time! How are you doing? Bragger: I just bought 5 I Phones, sold a property and made a bizzillion dollars off it, my son - who as you know is in medical school to become a doctor - blah, blah, blah. And my niece - who is just a knock out - is divorcing her husband who sold his business for $3,000,000, blah, blah, blah... Me: Ummm, so how is your son doing? Male friend: <<looking relieved>> He's doing much better! Thank you for asking. Bragger: What's wrong with your son? Male friend: He got hurt at his last football game. He got a concussion. This is his second one and I'm not sure he should still be playing next year. Bragger: Oh. My son, who played tennis when he was in school and the top 7-8 best players IN THE ENTIRE STATE blah, blah, blah... Male friend: Oh, that's nice. Ummm, ok... I just wanted to say hello. Gonna go sit down now. Me: Take me with youuuuuuuuuu! <<grabs hold of his leg>> How can you not find that funny? I'd be cracking up.
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Oct 6, 2013 13:31:17 GMT -5
After about 5 years of that crap it's no longer entertaining unless somebody else gets stuck with her. Besides - I already had a couple of beers and was flashing the little old man gnome (not a real person) that was back in the corner (and kept showing up in our pictures) so I just ignored her at that point. The little old man gnome was totally cracking us up! I'll have to post a picture and me, me, me, blah, blah, blah...
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Nazgul Girl
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Post by Nazgul Girl on Oct 6, 2013 13:35:38 GMT -5
Also, if someone doesn't have much in the way of material goods, they can talk about their healthy lifestyle, because that's really an asset to them. I think it can get tiresome, but I've been inspired by some relatives and coworkers to do better on my diet and exercise. I've learned and asked for some tips, which have been generously given out. I think that sometimes, a person can be in our lives so that we can learn from them. Maybe, the OP can learn from Miss Healthful about how she's doing it. No thanks. I am older than she is, weigh 50 pounds less than her, and exercise more. I also don't borrow money to buy UTVs, boats, etc. Now that I think about it, maybe she is in my life so I learn what not to do. Well, that's nice, but she's trying out new paradigms re: her eating and exercise behaviors. Maybe, she's looking for encouragement ( from you, perhaps ). I'm going through the same changes as she is. If you look down on her, it's just harder for her to maintain those changes. Maybe you're there to learn to give out compliments to help another person with their struggle. Have you looked at it that way ?
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Oct 6, 2013 13:58:15 GMT -5
After about 5 years of that crap it's no longer entertaining unless somebody else gets stuck with her. Besides - I already had a couple of beers and was flashing the little old man gnome (not a real person) that was back in the corner (and kept showing up in our pictures) so I just ignored her at that point. The little old man gnome was totally cracking us up! I'll have to post a picture and me, me, me, blah, blah, blah... We had one of those people in our golf league. We turned it into a drinking game. Whenever she said I we took a drink. I had to walk home a lot.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 6, 2013 14:03:36 GMT -5
No thanks. I am older than she is, weigh 50 pounds less than her, and exercise more. I also don't borrow money to buy UTVs, boats, etc. Now that I think about it, maybe she is in my life so I learn what not to do. Well, that's nice, but she's trying out new paradigms re: her eating and exercise behaviors. Maybe, she's looking for encouragement ( from you, perhaps ). I'm going through the same changes as she is. If you look down on her, it's just harder for her to maintain those changes. Maybe you're there to learn to give out compliments to help another person with their struggle. Have you looked at it that way ? It never ends. I simply cannot do it.
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Oct 6, 2013 14:06:50 GMT -5
After about 5 years of that crap it's no longer entertaining unless somebody else gets stuck with her. Besides - I already had a couple of beers and was flashing the little old man gnome (not a real person) that was back in the corner (and kept showing up in our pictures) so I just ignored her at that point. The little old man gnome was totally cracking us up! I'll have to post a picture and me, me, me, blah, blah, blah... We had one of those people in our golf league. We turned it into a drinking game. Whenever she said I we took a drink. I had to walk home a lot. LOL! See? This is why you get paid the big bucks. You are always thinking. I should have done that instead of rolling my eyes at DH when she turned her back. Her DH was sitting next to him and I wondered if he saw me but he was so lit I doubt he noticed or cared. I'm guessing he plays that game too and already started before they left the house!
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Oct 6, 2013 14:32:39 GMT -5
I wasn't going to bring this up, but I once frequented a message board where the average IQ that posters reported for themselves and their relatives was roughly 140. They weren't all delusional braggarts, though. Just... Well, they were just... s... You have to understand, they were really d... S... They were essentially good people. Good people, and that's really all that matters.
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Oct 6, 2013 14:34:27 GMT -5
I wasn't going to bring this up, but I once frequented a message board where the average IQ that posters reported for themselves and their relatives was roughly 140. They weren't all delusional braggarts, though. Just... Well, they were just... s... You have to understand, they were really d... S... They were essentially good people. Good people, and that's really all that matters. <<snort>> I know for a fact none of them were me. Besides, my brilliance shines when I post! I don't need no stinkin' IQ #s to dazzle you!
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Oct 6, 2013 14:42:49 GMT -5
I wasn't going to bring this up, but I once frequented a message board where the average IQ that posters reported for themselves and their relatives was roughly 140. They weren't all delusional braggarts, though. Just... Well, they were just... s... You have to understand, they were really d... S... They were essentially good people. Good people, and that's really all that matters. <<snort>> I know for a fact none of them were me. Besides, my brilliance shines when I post! I don't need no stinkin' IQ #s to dazzle you! Fortunately the thread derailed before it made it into " My brother has an IQ of a million bajillion and can transform cow pastures into golf courses just by thinking about them..." territory, but it was touch and go for a while.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Oct 6, 2013 14:59:36 GMT -5
I wasn't going to bring this up, but I once frequented a message board where the average IQ that posters reported for themselves and their relatives was roughly 140. They weren't all delusional braggarts, though. Just... Well, they were just... s... You have to understand, they were really d... S... They were essentially good people. Good people, and that's really all that matters. Mine was a pretty average 109 if I remember correctly. I never said I wasn't a dumbass.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 6, 2013 15:02:22 GMT -5
They were essentially good people. Good people, and that's really all that matters. I think that's all that matters.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 6, 2013 15:02:44 GMT -5
Oh yeah. And I really love the ones I call "brag-plainers", you know - bragging by complaining. Like, "Oh, the cost of oil has made my European cruises so expensive" or "you just can't get a good maid for less than $$$ a week" or "they've increased the hangar fees for my private plane again".
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