Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 26, 2013 17:31:12 GMT -5
A few weeks ago I got excited because a mall near us opened an LL Bean. I'm pretty sure that marks my slide into uncool adulthood.
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imawino
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Post by imawino on Sept 26, 2013 17:33:31 GMT -5
A few weeks ago I got excited because a mall near us opened an LL Bean. I'm pretty sure that marks my slide into uncool adulthood. It's a slippery slope, MJ! And the trip down goes really fast.  |
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Sept 26, 2013 17:36:05 GMT -5
Swamp lives in Amish country, buckets are perfectly acceptable!  The first time I felt like an adult was probably when I moved across the country with DH and rented an apartment on my own (age 22). Second was probably when I got my first "real" job, followed by renting a house (age 25). There was also some sort of mind-shift when we finally had enough cash in the bank to know that if something happened (car breaking down, medical expenses, etc.) DH and I could take care of it without running to our parents. Then again, when our dog was really sick in July (and ended up passing away) I remember wishing that a "real" adult would come and tell me what to do, because I was clueless. |
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Sept 26, 2013 17:52:19 GMT -5
When I was sent home from the hospital with a baby in a bucket.  I don't have kids - but I'm pretty sure you're supposed to put it in a carseat. Only helicopter parents use carseats...mine was nice and comfy swaddled on the floor between my feet |
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Sept 26, 2013 18:01:00 GMT -5
Only helicopter parents use carseats...mine was nice and comfy swaddled on the floor between my feet Pfft! Only helicopter parents use the inside of the car. Why do you think there's a luggage rack on top? I had a convertible...I guess I could have used the trunk... |
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Sept 26, 2013 18:01:11 GMT -5
I don't mind being 37, but I often tell C, I have no idea how I got here.
I live with my boyfriend (okay, he's been my husband for 10 years, but still) and his best friend, and our two dogs. Even having DD hasn't made me feel like more of an adult.
Most of the time, I feel like I'm just pretending.
And then I find out that the all weekend event I thought was happening Oct 4-6 is actually happening Oct 11-13 and so now I need to rearrange plans involving multiple other people (childcare and dogsitting). And it is at these moments, that I feel like an adult. These are also the moments when I least want to be an adult.
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sarcasticgirl
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Post by sarcasticgirl on Sept 26, 2013 18:44:50 GMT -5
I think being a mature adult has absolutely nothing to do with getting married or having kids. Further proof that you don't have a real marriage :-p fake marriages are more fun. at the very least we can go to dinner without getting a sitter! |
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imawino
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Post by imawino on Sept 26, 2013 19:04:55 GMT -5
When I had a 4 day hangover He didn't ask for proof that you are old! Blergh. That is so true. The hangovers keep getting longer and longer. |
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Sept 26, 2013 19:07:29 GMT -5
A true adult is someone who can FEED and CLOTHE themselves by the work of their own hands.
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imawino
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Post by imawino on Sept 26, 2013 19:11:08 GMT -5
A true adult is someone who can FEED and CLOTHE themselves by the work of their own hands. I do put my own undies on in the morning - usually correct side out. That's what you mean, right? |
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Sept 26, 2013 19:15:02 GMT -5
Only helicopter parents use carseats...mine was nice and comfy swaddled on the floor between my feet Pfft! Only helicopter parents use the inside of the car. Why do you think there's a luggage rack on top? I know! I know! Frantically waves arms -> it's to put your dog on the roof. HA, does knowing that make me an adult?  |
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Sept 26, 2013 19:31:33 GMT -5
A true adult is someone who can FEED and CLOTHE themselves by the work of their own hands. I do put my own undies on in the morning - usually correct side out. That's what you mean, right? No. My teen son is Senior. He claims to be an "adult" from time to time. I told him i will consider him an adult when he can FEND for himself and pay his own bills and feed his own mouth. |
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violagirl
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Post by violagirl on Sept 26, 2013 19:44:14 GMT -5
For me it was when my parents became people to me. When I realized that Dad didn't always want to get up and go to work to provide for the family. As a child you take these things for granted. I never thought about my parents as anything other than Mom and Dad, so when I got old enough to realize - they didn't exist just for me was when I became an adult.
I still feel like a fraud sometimes though. Like I'm just pretending at being grown up, but as 40 comes within reach, I must assume I am an adult at this point.
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swamp
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THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on Sept 26, 2013 19:56:53 GMT -5
I don't have kids - but I'm pretty sure you're supposed to put it in a carseat. I thought they wouldn't even let you take the baby home if you didn't have a carseat. The "bucket" is the portable car seat you snap into the base that is secured in the car. |
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Sept 26, 2013 20:08:58 GMT -5
I think it is when you take responsibility for your life. I know people who have had kids at 15 - they sure as heck weren't mature before and having a kid didn't make them more mature. It's not so much of a life-changing event that takes place (marriage, kids, etc.), but it is an internal decision to grow up and be responsible. I'd even expand on that some to say taking responsibility for your mistakes and not wanting or giving in to the urge to blame someone else. We all have to be responsible for ourselves in the bill paying, getting fed, housing, etc..... but we all know grown people who still say "wasn't me/my fault" about EVERYTHING that happens to them. I don't find that to be "adult" at all...... There are tons other indicators of immaturity but for me, that's a big one. If this is true then I think 90% of adults aren't grown ups.  |
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Jaguar
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Post by Jaguar on Sept 26, 2013 20:16:43 GMT -5
I thought they wouldn't even let you take the baby home if you didn't have a carseat. The "bucket" is the portable car seat you snap into the base that is secured in the car.
Swamp is all fancy and everything, yanno.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Sept 26, 2013 20:39:44 GMT -5
Yeah... Reading this thread makes me realize I'm totally not a grown up. You're a slow learner, aren't you?:-p |
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Sept 26, 2013 20:53:09 GMT -5
Why wasn't your DH setting up his own IRA
We used the company that I have my 403 (b) with, I tagged along.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Sept 27, 2013 9:20:23 GMT -5
I'd even expand on that some to say taking responsibility for your mistakes and not wanting or giving in to the urge to blame someone else. We all have to be responsible for ourselves in the bill paying, getting fed, housing, etc..... but we all know grown people who still say "wasn't me/my fault" about EVERYTHING that happens to them. I don't find that to be "adult" at all...... There are tons other indicators of immaturity but for me, that's a big one. If this is true then I think 90% of adults aren't grown ups.  I never said how many of us qualify by that standard.  Some of us do actually admit wrong now and then, it's the ones that never do that should have their "adult" card taken away.  |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 27, 2013 9:26:44 GMT -5
I am with violagirl that I've always thought it's when you realize that your parents are just people.
But I've been thinking about it and maybe it's when you realize that bad stuff happens to good people for no reason and no one is going to come and save you.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Sept 27, 2013 9:29:08 GMT -5
Swamp lives in Amish country, buckets are perfectly acceptable! Actually, the Amish are required to have a car seat to take their babies home from the hospital. Most of the time, they do home births, but if it's not going well, they will come in to the hospital. The OB nurses know they are in for a tough ride when they see a laboring Amish woman show up. |
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Sept 27, 2013 9:30:49 GMT -5
YM aren't grown ups because obviously, bad things only happen to those who aren't prepared for them. |
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Otto the Orange
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Post by Otto the Orange on Sept 27, 2013 9:33:42 GMT -5
I had a convertible...I guess I could have used the trunk... I suppose the trunk would have worked... but you're going to raise a coddled self-entitled brat if you keep that shit up!  you're being too PC........I believe the word you are really looking for is Leech |
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Otto the Orange
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Post by Otto the Orange on Sept 27, 2013 9:36:39 GMT -5
I don't want to grow up I'm a toys r us kid
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Gardening Grandma
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Post by Gardening Grandma on Sept 27, 2013 10:36:56 GMT -5
I don't think I really became an adult until I was 25, divorced and mother of 2 toddlers. When I realized that no one was going to take care of me and my kids except me. Right now I am disparing of my 18 y/o grandson ever becoming an adult... |
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greeniis10
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Post by greeniis10 on Sept 27, 2013 11:37:56 GMT -5
I am with violagirl that I've always thought it's when you realize that your parents are just people. But I've been thinking about it and maybe it's when you realize that bad stuff happens to good people for no reason and no one is going to come and save you. I agree. But to a "kid" (18+) these are still scary thoughts. I think this is what causes a lot of "failure to launch". By nature we associate "life is tough; no one is going to give you everything you want anymore; you're responsible for yourself, etc." with BAD, but in the long run it is actually GOOD. I would regularly remind my kids of the baby bird leaving the nest scenario: sometimes you'll fall out and bounce off the ground and I'm sorry, but you WILL learn to fly that way. You won't learn to fly if we contain you in the nest or catch you before you fall. This is tough on both sides, IMO, but it must be done. I think "maturity" is an individual thing according to personal circumstances and cannot really be guaged or defined. |
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Sept 27, 2013 11:52:51 GMT -5
If you are paying your own bills, feeding and clothing yourself, then how you act or dont' really isn't anyone else's business now is it? That is the kind of the POINT. And, i tell my son when he can FEED himself and pay his own way, then he can make whatever decisions he wants to do whatever he wants. Until then, no, you aren't an ADULT.
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vonna
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Post by vonna on Sept 27, 2013 12:05:00 GMT -5
Well, I think the whole "adulthood/maturity" thing is a process. I don't want to mature tooo fast, because I want to enjoy the journey!!
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cronewitch
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Post by cronewitch on Sept 27, 2013 14:04:52 GMT -5
I agree it is a process and age is only a small part of it. Even marriage, children and home ownership don't do it all.
Take someone who is an entitled princess, her parents provide free daycare and all emergency funding. Snowflake money means she never needs to plan ahead or do anything for her future.
At some point it should be her turn to be the parent providing free daycare to her own kids and helping them cover emergencies. Even after the little angels leave home they will have a need to go to mom's for free Sunday dinner and care packages.
Then the aging parents will need care and perhaps monetary help and eventually funeral planning and estate settlement.
Once you are orphan and the oldest generation you are as mature as you will ever get. You will look back at how mature you thought you were at younger ages and know it was only stepping stones to maturity.
Some will never mature, they will lean on parents until they lean on their own kids just never stepping up to own their own life.
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