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Post by Deleted on Sept 25, 2013 15:12:26 GMT -5
It depends on what you like to do. If you want to go to the Theater and Opera or be in crowds of people going to events all the time, then maybe it isn't for you. I personally am a homebody and i have plenty to do in my own neck of the woods. I don't "need" the entertainment of a city. I can entertain myself just fine and dandy here. what happens when the grocery store is 15 miles away and you can't drive anymore? or the hospital is an hour away? or all your doctors are in the city? small town may be great when you have the ability to leave that small town for the things you need....when you lose the ability to leave that small town for the things you need, what do you do?
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Sept 25, 2013 15:16:52 GMT -5
what happens when the grocery store is 15 miles away and you can't drive anymore? or the hospital is an hour away? or all your doctors are in the city? small town may be great when you have the ability to leave that small town for the things you need....when you lose the ability to leave that small town for the things you need, what do you do
You expect you're only son to be your chauffuer. Or you call up your half blind 70+ brother to drive you and give the rest of your family a stroke because now there are THREE of you who shouldn't be driving that far running around.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Sept 25, 2013 17:06:33 GMT -5
And, just because you live in a small town, doesn't mean you can't venture out at times to the local city. I don't have to live in the city to go and enjoy the city from time to time. but how do you get there once you become too old to drive? living in a small town in your 40s is most likely much different than living in a small town in your 60s It depends on who you are. In my family heath doesn't seem to deteriorate until 80. So, my parents are doing the same thing in their 60s as their 40s. They do have plans to downsize around 70. It may be closer to 75 at this point in time. Anyway, my family is all small town USA people. So, for my dad's mom she went to assisted living when she couldn't drive anymore. Her assisted living was in the small town nearest to the family farm. The town is only about 1000 people but has 2 assisted living facilities, a hospital, and 2 grocery stores. She still had to go to Des Moines for her heart specialist, but basic care she received in town. My mom's mom lives 2 miles from my parents in the small town (750 people) near where my parents live. My mom helps her out a lot, but when my parents are visiting us, her neighbors check up on her regularly. One of her neighbors owns the grocery store, so he'll bring her anything she needs from the grocery store. There is a doctor's office in town. Although my mom does have to drive her the 15 minutes to the hospital. Yes it is 15 miles, but it is also only 15 minutes. They have a great volunteer fire department/ambulance in town. There is an assisted living/nursing home in the next town south that once my Grandma really can't live at home any more she can move into. My Great Aunt lives in a fair size town with public transportation and taxis and she still relies on friends and relatives to get her to do her doctor's appointments, since she doesn't drive. For Crone's small town, I don't know. I'm use to tiny towns that also have services. It may not be much, but at least a grocery store and library.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 25, 2013 20:54:39 GMT -5
And, just because you live in a small town, doesn't mean you can't venture out at times to the local city. I don't have to live in the city to go and enjoy the city from time to time. but how do you get there once you become too old to drive? living in a small town in your 40s is most likely much different than living in a small town in your 60s Since when is 60's old? Geez. I live in the country and am surrounded by retired farmers in their 80's still taking care of cattle, mowing lawn and keeping a garden. A lot of them would equate moving to town as one step closer to the nursing home and death. It's a lifestyle choice that some actually enjoy (myself included). As for too old to drive, my great grandmother lived to 101 in her own house in a small town and never had a drivers license her entire life. Grandpa tried to teach her once and she crashed the car so from then on she had my Grandma (starting at age 12) drive her places. She still traveled all over in her golden years with senior groups on bus trips and cruises and for day to day stuff like the grocery store she walked.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 26, 2013 7:36:20 GMT -5
but how do you get there once you become too old to drive? living in a small town in your 40s is most likely much different than living in a small town in your 60s Since when is 60's old? Geez. I live in the country and am surrounded by retired farmers in their 80's still taking care of cattle, mowing lawn and keeping a garden. A lot of them would equate moving to town as one step closer to the nursing home and death. It's a lifestyle choice that some actually enjoy (myself included). As for too old to drive, my great grandmother lived to 101 in her own house in a small town and never had a drivers license her entire life. Grandpa tried to teach her once and she crashed the car so from then on she had my Grandma (starting at age 12) drive her places. She still traveled all over in her golden years with senior groups on bus trips and cruises and for day to day stuff like the grocery store she walked. and several people have said the grocery store is 15 miles away....I don't see anyone walking to that.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 26, 2013 8:05:54 GMT -5
Since when is 60's old? Geez. I live in the country and am surrounded by retired farmers in their 80's still taking care of cattle, mowing lawn and keeping a garden. A lot of them would equate moving to town as one step closer to the nursing home and death. It's a lifestyle choice that some actually enjoy (myself included). As for too old to drive, my great grandmother lived to 101 in her own house in a small town and never had a drivers license her entire life. Grandpa tried to teach her once and she crashed the car so from then on she had my Grandma (starting at age 12) drive her places. She still traveled all over in her golden years with senior groups on bus trips and cruises and for day to day stuff like the grocery store she walked. and several people have said the grocery store is 15 miles away....I don't see anyone walking to that. Well, IMO if you're 15 miles from the grocery store, you don't live in a small town. You live in the country. To me, town means there is at least one grocery store, one bar (three if you live in WI), and one old style pump gas station with a three legged dog sleeping out front.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Sept 26, 2013 8:16:53 GMT -5
MPL, don't you know by now that any area that isn't a city on the coast is a desolate wasteland filled with potato farmers who have no access to modern medicine? My hometown has a population of 10,000 and isn't a thriving metropolis by any means, but my 87yo grandpa lives in a subdivision within walking distance of the grocery store, the Dollar General, a clinic, a golf course, and several restaurants. He still drives, but if his license were yanked he'd have no trouble getting around. I'm not familiar with the area Crone is discussing, but to assume that anyone not living in the heart of a city will be unable to get around after they hit 60 seems to be overreaching. ETA - even in my tiny, very conservative (and fairly poor) hometown, they have a Catch-a-Ride bus which schleps seniors and others who can't/don't drive to the store, hospital, pharmacy, etc. I think it's $1.25 charge regardless of where you're headed. So even for those who can't walk or carry groceries long distances (or who don't want to do so in the winter), transportation isn't a problem.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Sept 26, 2013 8:25:30 GMT -5
and several people have said the grocery store is 15 miles away....I don't see anyone walking to that. Well, IMO if you're 15 miles from the grocery store, you don't live in a small town. You live in the country. To me, town means there is at least one grocery store, one bar (three if you live in WI), and one old style pump gas station with a three legged dog sleeping out front. Exactly! My dad's mom lived in a town of 1000 people (after she moved in from the country kicking and screaming). They have a HOSPITAL!
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Sept 26, 2013 8:35:19 GMT -5
My dad's mom lived in a town of 1000 people (after she moved in from the country kicking and screaming). They have a HOSPITAL!
That's great. Treynor, Iowa does not. The nearest one is Mercy in Council Bluffs which is a good 30-45 minutes away. The care my grandfather needs is here at the Nebraska Medical Center which is ANOTHER 15 minutes added onto the drive. They both have limited mobility. My grandma weigh as much as I do and has cerebal palsy, she can't lift my grandfather when he falls. My grandfather's ability to drive is becoming increasingly limited. We're not asking them to move to NYC, we're wanting them to move back here where we are and is closer to the medical care they need rather than expecting my dad to drive out there or worse asking my great uncle to drive them. Council Bluffs is the largest city in Pottawattamie county but far from the biggest metropolitan area in Iowa. There is small town and then there is small town and my grandparents chose to live in the latter. Gee wonder why property was such a steal there?
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mtman
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Post by mtman on Sept 26, 2013 9:13:13 GMT -5
Since when is 60's old? Geez. I live in the country and am surrounded by retired farmers in their 80's still taking care of cattle, mowing lawn and keeping a garden. A lot of them would equate moving to town as one step closer to the nursing home and death. It's a lifestyle choice that some actually enjoy (myself included). As for too old to drive, my great grandmother lived to 101 in her own house in a small town and never had a drivers license her entire life. Grandpa tried to teach her once and she crashed the car so from then on she had my Grandma (starting at age 12) drive her places. She still traveled all over in her golden years with senior groups on bus trips and cruises and for day to day stuff like the grocery store she walked. the grocery store is 15 miles away....I don't see anyone walking to that. Almost all small towns have a grocery store.....I live two miles from a very good hospital, ten miles from another.....You all have a misconception of what life is like in a small town......Hell, believe it or not....We even have electricity.
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formerroomate99
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Post by formerroomate99 on Sept 26, 2013 9:19:32 GMT -5
but how do you get there once you become too old to drive? living in a small town in your 40s is most likely much different than living in a small town in your 60s Since when is 60's old? Geez. I live in the country and am surrounded by retired farmers in their 80's still taking care of cattle, mowing lawn and keeping a garden. A lot of them would equate moving to town as one step closer to the nursing home and death. It's a lifestyle choice that some actually enjoy (myself included). As for too old to drive, my great grandmother lived to 101 in her own house in a small town and never had a drivers license her entire life. Grandpa tried to teach her once and she crashed the car so from then on she had my Grandma (starting at age 12) drive her places. She still traveled all over in her golden years with senior groups on bus trips and cruises and for day to day stuff like the grocery store she walked. Yeah, I come from a family of healthy people too. When my mom was 65, she was swimming a mile several times a week, At 80, she's still doing water aerobics. Her father was walking a mile to the grocery store every day until he was around 94. But the thing is, you can't really predict how your golden years will pan out, and those changes from healthy retire to dotty and disabled can happen very quicly. And once your strength and clear thinking are gone, it's a lot harder to move, especially when you take into account the emotions involved. The other issue is support systems. It's one thing to spend your golden years in a tiny town when you're surrounded by family and lifelong friends. It is something else entirely to relocate there when you're already old. And while the town your grandmother lived in had services for seniors, that doesn't automatically mean that the town Crone is thinking of relocating to has them.
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formerroomate99
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Post by formerroomate99 on Sept 26, 2013 9:28:19 GMT -5
Are you of the opinion that every single small town in America is spitting distance from good hospitals?
When my family lived in a town of 50,000, my mother had to travel hundreds of miles for my father's cancer treatments because the folks at the local hospital basically told him to go home and die. The treatments that have saved my grandmother's sight for the past 15 years are cutting edge, and aren't available in most small towns. I think it's great that you have close hosptials that you THINK are great, but that doesn't automatically mean the town Crone is thinking of relocating to have this. This is something Crone needs to find out about first.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Sept 26, 2013 9:30:19 GMT -5
The other issue is support systems. It's one thing to spend your golden years in a tiny town when you're surrounded by family and lifelong friends. It is something else entirely to relocate there when you're already old.
It's also another thing to live there while you're healthy. When you're not and the specialized care you need is almost an hour out and there is no public transporation/shuttle bus that's a serious problem. I have no problems with small towns, after all I live in flyover potato farm country. But the situation with my grandparents really chaps my hide, it's taking a serious toll on my dad. It's extremely inconsiderate of them to squat in Treynor and just expect everyone else to work their lives around them. If they lived in, say, Crescent this wouldn't be so much of an issue since Crescent is CB's next door neighbor. If they lived in Millard it'd be a drive for us but they'd still be closer than in Treynor, plus my great uncle lives there so they'd be consolidated into one area, which would be helpful since my dad is the only next of kin for all three. There are several smaller areas they could have chosen that are a lot closer to us and the nearest hospital/doctor's office. Instead she made the choice solely based on property values and now it's biting everyone in the ass.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Sept 26, 2013 9:32:15 GMT -5
My dad's mom lived in a town of 1000 people (after she moved in from the country kicking and screaming). They have a HOSPITAL!
That's great. Treynor, Iowa does not. The nearest one is Mercy in Council Bluffs which is a good 30-45 minutes away. The care my grandfather needs is here at the Nebraska Medical Center which is ANOTHER 15 minutes added onto the drive. They both have limited mobility. My grandma weigh as much as I do and has cerebal palsy, she can't lift my grandfather when he falls. My grandfather's ability to drive is becoming increasingly limited. We're not asking them to move to NYC, we're wanting them to move back here where we are and is closer to the medical care they need rather than expecting my dad to drive out there or worse asking my great uncle to drive them. Council Bluffs is the largest city in Pottawattamie county but far from the biggest metropolitan area in Iowa. There is small town and then there is small town and my grandparents chose to live in the latter. Gee wonder why property was such a steal there?
No not all small towns are created equal. It isn't population that matters, but what is there. Treynor is larger than the town my parents live in, but it apparently has fewer services.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Sept 26, 2013 9:36:53 GMT -5
Are you of the opinion that every single small town in America is spitting distance from good hospitals? When my family lived in a town of 50,000, my mother had to travel hundreds of miles for my father's cancer treatments because the folks at the local hospital basically told him to go home and die. The treatments that have saved my grandmother's sight for the past 15 years are cutting edge, and aren't available in most small towns. I think it's great that you have close hosptials that you THINK are great, but that doesn't automatically mean the town Crone is thinking of relocating to have this. This is something Crone needs to find out about first. You can live in a big city and go somewhere else for cancer treatments or major issues. Not all hospitals are created equal. My dad goes 3 hrs away to see a doctor once a year for his bowel issues. He could go 2.5 hrs away and be in Chicago, but he likes the care he gets in Iowa City better. My grandma got completely adequate medical care at her hospital in her town of 1000 people because they knew when to send her to Des Moines for specialized care. Crone needs to decide if this town is the town for her, but it doesn't have to be forever.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Sept 26, 2013 9:45:58 GMT -5
No not all small towns are created equal. It isn't population that matters, but what is there
True and that's something my grandparents really should have thought about but like I said my grandma made her decision solely based on who had the cheapest property values. Which was fine when they started looking but is now biting all of us in the ass.
My dad had a fight with her before she moved there saying he wasn't constantly driving us kids up there. We don't drive Gwen there much either but that didn't seem to phase her at all.
My grandfather has fallen at least three times already. It'd go over like a lead balloon but I've seriously considered buying him a life alert subscription. We're really concerned something very bad is going to happen before my grandma will accept she has to move.
I suppose we should be grateful they moved back from Kansas, what a giant clusterfuck that would be if they still lived in Wichita.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 26, 2013 10:00:40 GMT -5
No not all small towns are created equal. It isn't population that matters, but what is there.
Agreed. There are some amazing small towns around us with populations of less than 1000. Lots of touristy areas so that keeps businesses alive. I'm in the country and 8 minutes (less if I speed) from a good hospital, 25 minutes from two REALLY good hosptials, and 45 minutes from Mayo Clinic and St Mary's hospital which has satellite clinics in lots of the small towns that are serviced my Mayo doctors. Think I got the medical care covered.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Sept 26, 2013 10:01:59 GMT -5
Well at least in Wichita they would have had the services they needed right there. When my dad's mom still lived on the farm she had life alert. In fact, I think they got it when my Grandpa was still living on the farm and had Alzheimer's. Of course, she didn't always wear it and it didn't stop her from doing stupid stuff - getting on the lawn mower at 85 (and at one point she fell off the lawn mower) and still trying to mow her grass, going doing into the cellar, etc. My mom's mom is at a place where someone checks up on her daily. If it isn't my parents, my dad's business partner will run over, the neighbors will be by. My parent's let the neighbor's know when they are out of town and Grandma's neighbors really take care of her - get things from the grocery store (well, one of the neighbors owns the grocery store), shovel her snow, things like that.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Sept 26, 2013 10:05:16 GMT -5
First of all it wouldn't happen. But if for some unforseen reason it did, I would make sure everyone knew my grave site was in a big city and I better be buried there or there would be hell to pay
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Sept 26, 2013 10:11:27 GMT -5
My mom's mom is at a place where someone checks up on her daily. If it isn't my parents, my dad's business partner will run over, the neighbors will be by. My parent's let the neighbor's know when they are out of town and Grandma's neighbors really take care of her - get things from the grocery store (well, one of the neighbors owns the grocery store), shovel her snow, things like that
They have a good support network. Mine don't and my grandmother is too cheap to hire things out. They expect my dad to do it. It's like the only reason they had a kid was to have a caretaker for them in old age. He's an only child so it all falls on him. My brother and I try to help when we can but we can't do hour long round trips constantly either. My parents had a huge fight over it because my mom said she's not going to have him keel over catering to two stubborn old people.
He's getting to the point of telling them off because it's starting to interfere with him spending time with Gwen. He doesn't want to sacrifice time with her to be my grandparent's errand boy.
He already told them off about driving them to Millard every day to work at my great uncle's resturant. So what do they do? She has my half blind great uncle drive from Millard to get her.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Sept 26, 2013 10:19:24 GMT -5
Not all small towns are the same.
I live in a small rural township of about 3,000 which consists mostly of rural residences, seasonal waterfront homes, dairy farms, and Amish. The village a mile away does not have a grocery store or much of anything other than a school (which should be merged with another school, but that's for another day) and a post office.
I live 10 miles from the nearest "big town" which is 9,000 people. There is a pretty decent hospital, but they can't do everything and really serious health problems require a trip to Syracuse or Burlington. Believe it or not, they do have a cancer treatment center with a state of the art linear accelerator for radiation and chemo. They also do dialysis, wound care, inpatient mental health, and a few other specialities that keep the hospital afloat.
I have to drive 10 miles to the grocery store, or Walmart, or the drug store.
If I want to go clothes shopping, I have to drive 50 miles to the "Big City" with a population of about 30,000. The closest "Real City" is Syracuse, which is about a 2 hour drive. Or Ottawa, which is about an hour drive.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Sept 26, 2013 11:14:42 GMT -5
and several people have said the grocery store is 15 miles away....I don't see anyone walking to that. Well, IMO if you're 15 miles from the grocery store, you don't live in a small town. You live in the country. To me, town means there is at least one grocery store, one bar ( three if you live in WI), and one old style pump gas station with a three legged dog sleeping out front.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 26, 2013 11:59:57 GMT -5
You know it's true.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Sept 26, 2013 12:01:57 GMT -5
It is also true where I grew up in Illinois. My parents town of 750 people - 3 bars! Even the unincorporated town of about 50 people has a bar.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Sept 26, 2013 12:23:42 GMT -5
You know it's true. Yep, it is. And there's bars in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by fields and cows. And they often have a baseball diamond or sand v-ball court next to them.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 26, 2013 12:38:56 GMT -5
You know it's true. Yep, it is. And there's bars in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by fields and cows. And they often have a baseball diamond or sand v-ball court next to them. I grew up near an unicorporated town in WI that was just a bar in a corn field. Baseball diamond in the back...AND they had parking meters! ROFL.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Sept 26, 2013 12:40:33 GMT -5
There is a bar down the road from me that has a driving range. The bartender will deliver drinks to you on the driving range.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Sept 26, 2013 12:56:27 GMT -5
Yep, it is. And there's bars in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by fields and cows. And they often have a baseball diamond or sand v-ball court next to them. I grew up near an unicorporated town in WI that was just a bar in a corn field. Baseball diamond in the back...AND they had parking meters! ROFL. My Dad grew up near Antigo. I remember staying with his parents and being taken to the bar to watch the softball game. And collecting the bottle caps that littered the area.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Sept 26, 2013 12:57:30 GMT -5
There is a bar down the road from me that has a driving range. The bartender will deliver drinks to you on the driving range. LOL. I'm pretty sure there's a joke about the difference between Wisconsinites/Mid-westerners and New Yorkers in there somewhere!
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