Spinning off of something Southernsusana said...

[moneyminded]

What do you do about gifts that are definitely not you?  Like Southernsusana said, she likes neutrals not pastels.  I have a close family member that always buys me gifts that are obviously her taste and definitely not mine.  I am not a big fan of floral, hearts, girly patterns, nor jewelry or "fluffy" types of things.  Yet, every year I get jewelry and some cutsie wootsie item.  I am thankful that I am thought of, but find it all a big YM waste of money.  I would rather she save her money and use it on herself and have mentioned this on numerous occasions.  Just buy me a pair of Reef flip flops and I'm good, dang it!  (I know this thread sounds ungrateful so flame away, but seriously, what do you do with the stuff?) 

[Peace Of Mind]

No flames here and I'm the same way regarding not liking 'fluffy" stuff.  And yes, I have cats.  But I don't want every cutesy cat tchotsky (Nancy - Did I spell that right?) made.  I don't wear cat jewelry, don't decorate with cat anything. And I have 5 freaking cats!  I don't want more!  People actually ask me if I want another cat!  But I digress... and if I keep telling you to stop buying me this crap and you continue buying it than it goes to a charity or in some drawer and you just need to get over it. 

Whew!  That felt good!  

Oh - and wine is never turned down. 

[Jaguar]

Every Christmas my sister used to get me an outfit that was spectacularly off base size wise. I'm tiny like under 5 foot. So the last outfit that she gave me I modeled it for her. Needless to say no more outfits have come my way since.

[jinksd1]

Thankfully, my gift exchange list is small and limited to our parents/step-parents and each other. All of the parents insist on getting wish lists from us. I do both mine and DH's (though with some input from him). Nobody is confined to buying only from the wish list, but it has eliminated most "bad" gifts, and the ones we still get are usually something small/inexpensive.

I really had to work hard to break my mom of the habit of getting me decorative items. She's the kind of person that has several collections (Precious Moments, fancy glass perfume bottles, etc.), and her house is just stuffed with them. I'm the kind of person that can appreciate how pretty something is without needing to own it and have to dust it and take care of it. Moreover, I don't like to constantly have to find space for something new. My house is already decorated how I want it to look, so I hate having to add anything. When I add something, I want to have picked it out myself because I love it so much that I just have to have it. I don't want to add something that I just think of as pretty enough or so-so.

If it's a practical gift that doesn't fit my taste or perform well, I try to find another use for it or use it up quickly. For ugly towels, I use them to dry produce or as rags. When I get things like blankets that I don't like, I use them in the dog's cage or as an emergency blanket in the car. For clothes, I might wear them around the house or garden in them. And with things like that, I tend to throw them out sooner than I would if they were something I liked, even if I haven't gotten all of the life out of them.

[Deleted]

I guess I just have fewer exchanges and more practical exchangers. My GG gives us all movie tickets and dinner cards. My mom goes by our list. Dad gives money. 

Well, my father is apt to bring us jelly from wherever he travels? I'm not sure why? I'd rather have honey. None of us eat jelly... But I generally have extra kids around who might eat it, or just donate it. 

If I constantly got impractical things, first I'd try to discontinue he exchange. My sister and I don't exchange any more, nor my best friend from grade school... They weren't bad gifters but it gets to be of much. I think it's ok to say lets leave gifting to the next generation. Ie. my find still bought for my kids hen thy were small, and I buy or her granddaughter now... Buying for kids is generally easier. 

[Deleted]

REgift.

[milee]

My sister likes to send me jewelry.  It's not my taste plus I don't tend to wear jewelry anyway, so not something I'd wear.  But I love my sister and it makes me feel loved that she saw something she thinks is beautiful and thought of me.

I hang the jewelry in my bathroom and like to look at it each morning while I get ready.  Makes me think of my sister and how much I love her and wish she didn't live 2000 miles away. 

[Deleted]

MIL loves to wear prints and I do not. I got a LOT of animal print blouses the first few Christmases that DH and I were dating (this was 20 years ago. I don't even know where she found them!!!).



We were out to dinner together one summer and I told her that she looks great in prints but that I prefer an interesting texture over a print. Haven't gotten a printed anything since!  

So my suggestion is to mention it. If they don't listen then I agree with everyone else that you can regift/return or give it away. 

[Formerly SK]

Like a pp mentioned, I would say I'm trying to cut materialism out of my life (totally true in my case) and that I'd prefer not to exchange gifts anymore for holidays/bdays.  Instead, maybe treat each other to lunch or something since time together is better than some random object. 

[Gardening Grandma]

With family I've been able to minimize the gift giving. Made an agreement with sister years ago to send only cards and photos. Same with SIL. Both were relieved.

With close friends, we sometimes exchange very small token gifts when getting together for a meal. Nothing is expected. It's just for fun. If I receive something that is very much "not me", I have no qualms about donating it.

If the gift is from one of my children or grandchildren, I generally try to keep it... Or at least display (or wear) it conspicuously for a while....

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

My great uncle gives me clothes that are rarely to my taste.  You'd think after working for him for almost 10 years he would have picked up on what I wear.  He'll get my mom the exact same thing and buys two of the same size even though we don't wear the same size.  One year we got sweaters that fit neither of us.

I wear them once and donate them.

He FINALLY stopped buying me pleather driving gloves last year.  I was thrown off because I've been recieving them since I was like 10.  What 10 year old needs driving gloves?

[sheilaincali]

We get household decorations and crap like that from my mom every Christmas.  Doesn't matter what I say.  With my mom it's much easier to say "Oh Thank you, this is lovely" and then donate it.  If I mention that it's not my taste or anything like that she will start crying and it will ruin the holiday.  So I saw thank you and when we get home it immediately goes in the box ear marked for Goodwill. 

I finally did put my foot down after going around and around with my parents over the grandkids.  They have it fixed in their heads that their 8 grandkids fit into 3 groups.  Big boys, Girls and Little Boys.  DS is 15 and my nephews are 14 and 12.  For years my parents would get them all the exact same gifts.  Usually it was what my nephews wanted because they were more vocal about what they wanted.  DS was disappointed every year.  I kept telling them "They are three unique kids, they don't even like the same things!"  They have finally started to get it.  The girls range in age from 9 to 6 and they all still get the same thing and the little boys are 7 and 3 so not at all close to the same age but they still get the same presents. 

My mom does this for all of us.  My sister, SIL and I all get the same presents.  My two brothers, DH and my BIL all get the same presents.

If you met us all on the street you'd never figure we are related or even like each other.  WE ARE NOT ALL THE SAME PERSON. 

[tskeeter]

Jul 23, 2013 11:42:17 GMT -5 sheilaincali said:

We get household decorations and crap like that from my mom every Christmas.  Doesn't matter what I say.  With my mom it's much easier to say "Oh Thank you, this is lovely" and then donate it.  If I mention that it's not my taste or anything like that she will start crying and it will ruin the holiday.  So I saw thank you and when we get home it immediately goes in the box ear marked for Goodwill. 

I finally did put my foot down after going around and around with my parents over the grandkids.  They have it fixed in their heads that their 8 grandkids fit into 3 groups.  Big boys, Girls and Little Boys.  DS is 15 and my nephews are 14 and 12.  For years my parents would get them all the exact same gifts.  Usually it was what my nephews wanted because they were more vocal about what they wanted.  DS was disappointed every year.  I kept telling them "They are three unique kids, they don't even like the same things!"  They have finally started to get it.  The girls range in age from 9 to 6 and they all still get the same thing and the little boys are 7 and 3 so not at all close to the same age but they still get the same presents. 

My mom does this for all of us.  My sister, SIL and I all get the same presents.  My two brothers, DH and my BIL all get the same presents.

If you met us all on the street you'd never figure we are related or even like each other.  WE ARE NOT ALL THE SAME PERSON. 

The one size fits all gift.  Folding green stuff.  Rarely goes in the Goodwill box.  For the wee ones, fold it into an interesting shape they can play with.

[moneyminded]

I appreciate the responses.  I try to tell her that certain things aren't my taste and that upsets her, so I stopped.  The other day she asked me for the third time if I want her brand new mattress because she is moving.  I thanked her and said no, I like mine.  She got up and walked out the door shutting it in my face.  I am starting to think that gifts are her love language. It certainly isn't mine.  So ridiculous.  Can't win.  Will donate items and hope she doesn't ask about them.  (sigh)

[zibazinski]

Someone would love that mattress. Like domestic abuse shelter.