do your parents like your spouses parents

[happyscooter]

Do your parents get together with your spouses parents even when you aren't there?  Do they exchange Christmas cards or anything like that?  Do they sit together at your kids dance recitals or sporting events?

[Deleted]

They have run into each other while out to dinner and chatted at the bar, but they didn't eat a meal together.

No Christmas cards exchanged AFAIK and the kids thing hasn't come up yet (my parents were in FL when DD had her one and only dance recital).

I think they like each other well enough, but my parents are a bit older than they are so they do not have a whole lot in common.

ETA: Except the grandkids, of course! 

[Deleted]

Our sets live nowhere near each other and we live nowhere near either of them. My parents send his parents a Christmas card, but that is the extent of their "relationship". I think they've been in the same room a grand total of 2 times.

[Deleted]

They get along when they are together, but they aren't friends or anything.

[swamp]

Jul 18, 2013 8:30:11 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

They get along when they are together, but they aren't friends or anything.

[midjd]

Our parents don't dislike each other, but they're not close. They live in the same town (DH and I live about an hour away) and will say hi if they see each other at Wal-Mart or something, but don't ever get together. That may change after the kid is born, but I don't see them ever being buddy-buddy. They don't have a lot in common except for us.

But I tell myself hey, at least my mom hasn't filed a lawsuit against ILs yet (she sued my sister's fiance's stepmother a few years ago)

[whoisjohngalt]

They live 600 miles away from each other.  My mom tried...she would send cards, presents, she would stop by when my IL's visited us- she got NOTHING in return.  I am pretty sure she stopped.  

My FIL loves talking to my Dad, but they never call each other or anything and my MIL....well....I don't get that woman, so.....

[steph08]

My parents and in-laws exchange Christmas cards and have run into each other different places and talk, etc. I took my mom and MIL shopping together before my wedding, but they don't hang out.

It kind of bugs me because my in-laws hang out with SIL's in-laws but never invite my parents (not that they'd come, but it's nice to be invited).

We don't have kids yet, so maybe they will hang out more if we ever have one.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

They get along well enough but they don't socilize together on a regular basis.  We're all together for Gwen's bday but that's it.  Gwen isn't old enough to have events other than her birthday.
  
My mom and MIL exchange Christmas cards and stuff.  My mom's sent flowers to funerals and so has my MIL.  My MIL has sent flowers to my grandfather after his surgery and my mom's sent get well cards to MIL/FIL.

They've run into each other at the store a few times and my MIL told them her entire life story.  DH didn't know how his parents met so he was quite surprised MIL shared that with my parents. 

My in-laws are my grandparents age.  My parents are baby boomers.  They don't have a lot in common with each other.

Then my MIL is too much like my grandma.  My mom has to socialize her MIL, I'm not going to expect her to socialize all the time with mine too.  That's just too much.

[sheilaincali]

My parents have only physically been in the same place at the same time as my in laws maybe a dozen times over the years. 
DH and I eloped so they didn't meet until after we were married.  His folks drove some furniture of DH's from TN to MN to be included in my household goods shipment when we were in the USAF.  That was 6 months after DH and I married and the first time they met. 
Over the years they have seen each over a few times when DH's parents would visit us when we lived near my parents. 
They have always lived in a different place than my parents.  DH and I have been married 17 years.
First 4 years we lived in Alaska, my parents in Minnesota and DH's parents in Tennessee
Next 6 years we lived in MN in the same town as my parents and DH's parents lived in Germany
Next 4 years- we lived in CA, my parents in MN and DH's parents in Arizona
Last few years we have been back in MN near my parents and DH's parents are still in Arizona. 

We haven't seen DH's parents since Feb. 2008. 

However, my parents see my sister's MIL on a regular basis and my Brother's in laws several times a year.  My other brother is divorced, but his out laws hated my family.  Claimed we were snobby assholes.

[Deleted]

I'm sorry DQ, whenever I see you post now, all I'm going to think is BACON INSPECTOR!

[ontrack]

Jul 18, 2013 8:29:16 GMT -5 @monkeyunderpants said:

Our sets live nowhere near each other and we live nowhere near either of them. My parents send his parents a Christmas card, but that is the extent of their "relationship". I think they've been in the same room a grand total of 2 times.

 Both our parents are divorced and all three that we talk to (his dad is out of the picture) live in completely different states (and we don't live near any of them either).  So far, they've only seen each other at our rehearsal dinner and wedding, etc.

[973beachbum]

My Mom lives 3000 miles away from DH's family, so not much socializing there. 

In fact my kids have never had a grandparent go to a dance recital or concert in their lives.  It isn't personal I'm sure they would have if it was a six hour drive or plane trip. 

[giramomma]

Nope. DH and I have been together for 17 years. My parents and my ILS have been in the same room 5 times over the course of those 17 years, three times for wedding related activities, and twice for college related things. The next time they will be together is when the last parent passes away (though both of my folks are still living). My ILs will likely want to come to pay respects.

My ILs tried. My folks weren't interested.

I don't mind is so much now. At least it helps contain my parent's crazy.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I'm sorry DQ, whenever I see you post now, all I'm going to think is BACON INSPECTOR!

Ha.  It's not all it's cracked up to be, I am so sick of smelling bacon.

[Deleted]

DQ, your DH got a pork inspector job?



My mom does not like my ILs. I think they are "meh" about her. They are all invited to DS's birthday festivities in about two weeks, so.....

[muttleynfelix]

My parents are very friendly with all of their kid's in-laws.  Granted they don't see my MIL that often, but they send Christmas cards to all of their kid's in-laws.  If the other Grandparent's go to an event that my parent's are at, then they all sit together. But in all 3 situations, my parent's are the more involved Grandparents.  They are closest to my sister's in-laws. My sister's in-laws were invited to my wedding (my sister had been married 10 years at that point).  My brother's in-laws only live 4 miles from my parents, but are a lot less involved. 

My Grandparents were friends with each other despite living 6 hrs apart. My mom's mom was very upset when my dad's mom died. That was when I realized that they had known each other for over 40 years. They had 3 grandchildren in common. Over the last 10 years, my dad's mom came and stayed with my parents for several weeks at a time in the summer and winter (my mom's mom lives down the road). They might not have been best friends, but they were friends.

[Deleted]

My inlaws live in Romania. They have never met my parents. My dad says maybe he'll go with us next time we go. 

Thats ok though. Generally my mom, stepdad, father and current stepmother are enough. My dad thinks they all are friends. My mom is tolerant of his opinion. They don't ever make problems, but its never exactly relaxed.

i really enjoy Thanksgiving more once I stopped cooking and husband andi just started taking kids to the movies. We do Christmases seperate. 


Just FYI, Christmases autocorrected the first time to Hist asses... I caught it, but lol

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

DQ, your DH got a pork inspector job

He's been a bacon inspector for 5 years now.  Sounds awesome in theory, in person not so much. 

[Deleted]

Jul 18, 2013 8:57:05 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

DQ, your DH got a pork inspector job

He's been a bacon inspector for 5 years now.  Sounds awesome in theory, in person not so much. 

You can get a good look at a side of bacon by putting your head up a pigs ass, but I'd much rather take Drama's husband's word for it.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

You can get a good look at a side of bacon by putting your head up a pigs ass

That happens before it gets to DH's plant.

[alabamagal]

My parents and in-laws live 800 miles apart.  They have met on 4 occasions (our wedding, and 3 kids high school graduations).  They are SO different in culture, attitude, financial status, etc.  They get along, but are too different to be friends.

We had a lot of issues when we got engaged due to "cultural" differences.  It was the difference between Southern Baptist and Northern Catholic (even though I was born in FL my family is from the north).  My DH grandfather actually had a stroke on the day he told them we were engaged.  My in-laws were literally afraid to set foot ina Catholic church for our wedding (they thought they would have to kiss a ring, or something).  They were horrified that we had alcohol at the reception.

My parents are well-off retirees.  DH parents are living in an old house on their small SS check.

If they lived closer, they still would not be friends.

[Deleted]

My MIL loves my mom and vice versa; They talk to each other every couple of months.

They don't hangout often because they live so far away from each other and we have no kids yet for celebrations requiring both set of grandparents.

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

My mother is socially inept and cannot hold a conversation well. My MIL is generally the type to interrogate people. (Both of our father's have passed away.) I cannot imagine that relationship blooming.
They live about 200 miles apart, so they don't see each other. They met at our "wedding" which was in our backyard. I really don't think they've met other than that.

[Sam_2.0]

We met because our parents go to church together. They've known each other well for years and will have dinners together and meet up often to play cards or just hang out. It makes having things like a b-day party for DD really easy because everyone already knows each other and gets along well. We just pick one of their houses to hold it at and bring all the food.

[Wisconsin Beth]

WE all live close to each other so they've met.  We actually took all 4 of them on vacation a few years ago.  Rented a cabin with 3 bedrooms for 3 nights.  It worked out well enough.  I'm not sure if my parents have them on their Christmas card list or not. I don't much care either way, to be honest. But most events my parents don't care if we add them or not. And the ILs have hosted my parents to dinner at least once.

They like each other ok and have stuff in common besides the 2 grandkids.  The ILs are a couple of years younger than my parents.  This is my parents 4th set of ILs and they do get along with most of them fairly well. 

[sarcasticgirl]

my parents and my in-laws live 1000+ miles away from each other. 
They met the day before we married. Since then, they had dinner together once when my parents were in town and we spent the day out near where my in-laws live. 

[Blonde Granny]

Speaking as the MIL.....we tried in the very beginning to have a good relationship with DIL parents.  Since our only child married their only we offered to pay for half of the wedding and they accepted.  We then paid for additional items of wedding, ie. manicures for all the ladies in the wedding, including great grandmothers.  The rehearsal cost was over $2K in 1994, and we gave them their honeymoon for a wedding gift.  Yes, I know, sounds like bragging but we could afford it and wanted kids to have some great memories.

DILs Mom has been like dealing with a rattlesnake since day one.  In the beginning I sent Xmas cards etc.  We traveled for a couple of Christmas' and GD birthdays, but quickly found it was better if we planned our trips before holidays and birthdays as her Mom makes the time very uncomfortable.The times we have sent small Xmas gifts we have never received a thank you, a Xmas card, including we never received a thank you for helping with the wedding expenses.

19 years later, son and DIL are still married, 3 terrific grandkids, but I'm just happy we don't live any closer than 400 miles away. To contend with DILs Mom is not something I want to deal with again.   If we do happen to see each other it's "hi, nice to see you again" and that's it.

I vowed I would never be the MIL that I had, I believe I have accomplished that, but neither DH nor I have been able to break through the wall our DIL has had in place since the day we met her.

[happyscooter]

wrong side of 30, that is hilarious!

[Pants]

My parents and my ILs get along face-to-face when forced. Everyone can have polite convo, etc. But my parents hate my ILs - because my ILs have treated DH and I like complete shit fairly often. All in the name of "love" of course...

I would give up the relationship completely, but DH is a glutton for punishment and loves his family, so we try.