Parents and children spend less than 8 hrs together a week?

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Sure doesn't feel like 8 hours a week.

[Deleted]

Gwen doesn't have homework, sports, or an Xbox yet  

[Baby Fawkes]

Jul 15, 2013 14:18:33 GMT -5 @wrongsideof30 said:

"No time for the family? You are not alone: Parents and children spend less than an hour with each other every day because of modern demands
Families spend just eight hours a week together on average
Weekend is best with two hours twenty mins devoted to the family each day

I'm not suggesting the article isn't a true reflection of the modern demands, but I struggle to give it too much credit when they claim two things that contradict each other in consecutive sentences

(unless of course the demands are so much these days that they have > 8 days per week)

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Gwen doesn't have homework, sports, or an Xbox yet 

DH has a PS3.  If the article said we spend less than an hour a day with our spouses I'd believe it.  

[Deleted]

Jul 15, 2013 14:35:33 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

DH has a PS3.  If the article said we spend less than an hour a day with our spouses I'd believe it.  

And that is just the way we like it

[Sam_2.0]

Jul 15, 2013 14:32:15 GMT -5 Baby Fawkes said:

Jul 15, 2013 14:18:33 GMT -5 @wrongsideof30 said:

"No time for the family? You are not alone: Parents and children spend less than an hour with each other every day because of modern demands
Families spend just eight hours a week together on average
Weekend is best with two hours twenty mins devoted to the family each day

I'm not suggesting the article isn't a true reflection of the modern demands, but I struggle to give it too much credit when they claim two things that contradict each other in consecutive sentences

(unless of course the demands are so much these days that they have > 8 days per week)

It was more on weekends, less on week days.

I see Aly for about 45 minutes in the morning, but she's eating and playing and I am getting ready for work. We have about 2 hours together in the evening when I get home from work, but 30-45 minutes is me cooking dinner while she watches her shows and plays, then we eat, then she plays for another 45 minutes or so before bed. I get less than 3 hours a day with her while she's awake, and she's only 2!

[Deleted]

I would guess that most of those hours are weekend, so one might routinely spend less than an hour per day, while still managing 8 per week...

i alo would want to believe the numbers are wrong, but I don't think the statements are automatically incompatible. 

[hoops902]

It's also classifying the time as "devoted to the family".  That's a pretty loose definition.  If I'm cooking dinner while hanging out with my kid, I wouldn't necessarily say that's time "devoted to the family".  Ditto for travel time you might spend with your kids.  I mean my wife and I are together just about 24/7, but time spent "devoted to quality time" is probably pretty low.  We're just kind of around each other a lot. 

[Deleted]

I wonder what they consider quality time.  DH has been building a treehouse on the weekends, DS "helps" him, they are both enjoying the time together, but it would probably fall under the chore category.

You could spend an hour on homework with your kid but it wouldn't be considered time together either, although it's not enjoyable.

But once you commute, pick up your kids, feed them, homework and bath, then I could see how you'd have less than an hour at night before kids bedtime.  Next year is going to be rough for us.  DS will be going to school that starts and hour and a half earlier than his current one.  If I don't want him to be going to bed right after dinner so he can have time with DH then I'm going to have to get him down for a nap during the day.  He's past napping but can do it on occasion.

[imawino]

Obviously more parents should be taking their kids to brunch.   

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

'And grandparents fare even worse as they seem to be a long way down the list of priorities when it comes to squeezing in the visits during the busy weekends


Well I feel better about myself now.  Gwen sees both set of grandparents every weekend.  Sometimes more for my parents since they live right across the street.

Does cooking dinner together count as devoted family time?  Gwen helps me in the kitchen pretty much every night.  Takes me twice as long with her "help" but she really enjoys it and I am hoping she's picking up good habits thru osmosis.

[giramomma]

I'm not surprised.  During the school year I work 60 hour weeks. I miss my middle kid's bedtime a couple nights a week. And, yes, some days, I only get about 30 minutes of time with the middle one.

I don't think I'm alone in my experience. I don't think the norm for working families is to work a job for 40 hours a week and have a half hour total commute time every day and absolutely no job-related travel. Most of the professional families that I know through school or my kids' activities log hours closer to mine than 40 hours.

Even in DS's little league team , there's been a mom that's been traveling for work M-F for at least the first two weeks of July (I know, because every time I send out the nagging emails, I get the canned "I'm traveling for work" email response back.)

In our case, the only way I can reconcile that I'm away so much is that DH is not. And, the fact that I'm one of "those" involved moms that gets beaten up over on the other board.

[formerroomate99]

Jul 15, 2013 14:58:33 GMT -5 hoops902 said:

It's also classifying the time as "devoted to the family".  That's a pretty loose definition.  If I'm cooking dinner while hanging out with my kid, I wouldn't necessarily say that's time "devoted to the family".  Ditto for travel time you might spend with your kids.  I mean my wife and I are together just about 24/7, but time spent "devoted to quality time" is probably pretty low.  We're just kind of around each other a lot. 

In my mind, whether or not you consider it family time would depend on whether or not the people involved are interacting.  Being in the same car or the same room with your kid isn't worth that much if one or both of you are plugged into some kind of electronic distraction.  On the other hand, most of us can carry on a conversation just fine while chopping vegetables or folding laundry. 

[thyme4change]

Jul 15, 2013 14:35:41 GMT -5 @wrongsideof30 said:

Jul 15, 2013 14:31:46 GMT -5 oped said:

Gwen doesn't have homework, sports, or an Xbox yet  

Life was a little better before Xbox came along...

I suggested that I limit my kid's time on videogames and I got jumped all over.  In fact, I believe you suggested that our kids connect and play videogames together.  This appears contradictory to me.

[sheilaincali]

On a typical week we have maybe one or two days the entire week that we either aren't gone or people aren't at our house.  DS watched two episodes of Dr Who with us on Saturday (rained all day) and that's a lot of TV for him.  He doesn't typically watch tv much.  

Today our family would fall below that average.  DH left the house at 4:30am today, I ran home and picked up the Boy to drop him off at his friends house at 3pm.  DH will get home around 4:30 or so and leave at 6:00pm for league and be gone until around 10pm.  DS will skip league tonight and be at his friends house until 9:30/10pm.  So I will mostly just see him in the car while driving him around and DH might not see him at all. 

[Baby Fawkes]

Jul 15, 2013 14:39:39 GMT -5 Sam_2.0 said:

Jul 15, 2013 14:32:15 GMT -5 Baby Fawkes said:

I'm not suggesting the article isn't a true reflection of the modern demands, but I struggle to give it too much credit when they claim two things that contradict each other in consecutive sentences

(unless of course the demands are so much these days that they have > 8 days per week)

It was more on weekends, less on week days.

I see Aly for about 45 minutes in the morning, but she's eating and playing and I am getting ready for work. We have about 2 hours together in the evening when I get home from work, but 30-45 minutes is me cooking dinner while she watches her shows and plays, then we eat, then she plays for another 45 minutes or so before bed. I get less than 3 hours a day with her while she's awake, and she's only 2!

I didn't read the article fully, so I was just picking on the fact that they said every day in the title. Maybe the editor was too busy spending time with the kids rather than reading the headline correctly 

[HoneyBBQ]

Jul 15, 2013 14:39:39 GMT -5 Sam_2.0 said:

Jul 15, 2013 14:32:15 GMT -5 Baby Fawkes said:

I'm not suggesting the article isn't a true reflection of the modern demands, but I struggle to give it too much credit when they claim two things that contradict each other in consecutive sentences

(unless of course the demands are so much these days that they have > 8 days per week)

It was more on weekends, less on week days.

I see Aly for about 45 minutes in the morning, but she's eating and playing and I am getting ready for work. We have about 2 hours together in the evening when I get home from work, but 30-45 minutes is me cooking dinner while she watches her shows and plays, then we eat, then she plays for another 45 minutes or so before bed. I get less than 3 hours a day with her while she's awake, and she's only 2!

Similar schedule to me, but I guess we're still doing better than average?

I think I get ~1 hr in the morning, around 3 in the evening. Some of that is spent in the car commuting, but I'm singing to her and playing with her, talking, etc. Maybe 'family' means everyone in the household together? My spouse works longer hours than I so I know he's less.

[Phoenix84]

Hmmm, makes sense when you think about it.  With 8 hours for sleeping and 8 hours for working, that leaves only 8 hours.  And from that 8 hours, you have commuting to and from work, chores, and downtime not involving the family.  

[Sum Dum Gai]

Life was a little better before Xbox came along...

Not really.  We've still got a working super Nintendo, N64, and PS2 with a lot of original PS1 games, and we've downloaded some original NES games on the Wii.  They're fun in a retro sorta way, but my newer Xbox 360 games are pretty awesome. 

[shanendoah]

Right now, I leave the house at 6:30am, Small Person (SP) is still asleep. I get home at 6:30pm. Most days, she's down the street playing with other kids when I get home, but we either call for her, or walk down and get her within about 30 minutes to come home for dinner. Dinner as a family takes about 30 minutes.
After that, sometimes we play games, but often we watch a movie- but watch it as a family, all sitting together on the couch- not certain if they would call that family time or not.
Bedtime snack, teeth, hair, and reading takes about 30-45 minutes. We do brush our teeth and hair together. She has nights where she really doesn't want to be alone in the room (and we've been spoiling her a bit on that this summer), so one of us generally stays with her a while longer. If it's me- 10-20 minutes, depending on how long it takes her to fall asleep. If it's C, an hour plus, because he usually falls asleep about 2 minutes before she does, so he's in there until he wakes up or I wake him up.

But yeah, if you don't count the movie, that puts me right around 60-75 minutes on an average weekday spending time with SP.

And our trips to the park this weekend probably didn't count, as she got in the water and played with other kids while C and I sat in the grass and read.

[kgb18]

I think we're a bit above what the article states.

Some days I get to spend more time with them than others. Mondays I work the afternoon shift, so I try to spend quality time with the kids before I go to work. For instance, the kids and I had breakfast this morning, played outside, had lunch. When the baby went in for his nap, DD and I played a board game until it was her rest time. I did take a quick shower and toss some laundry in, but for the most part I was interacting with them.

There are some days when I don't get to spend much time with them, but most week days I spend more than an hour with them, and the weekends are largely spent with them.

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

I definitely am curious as to why they've classified counting chores and routines as not family time. To me, those facets of the day are a portion of parenting responsibilities. How would they not be family time? Maybe it's not "fun" family time. Today, both my daughters and I spent three hours scrapbooking. Is that a chore, an art project, or family time? Could depend on your personal perception. We play a lot of games in the car, so I would consider some of that family time.

We eat breakfast together every morning also. That's about 15-20 minutes, but DD#1 is rarely functioning enough to have a legitimate conversation. So, is it family time for the rest of us but not her?

Anyway, I do agree it's difficult during portions of the year to get enough time together that is constructive.

[973beachbum]

Why doesn't driving the kids to and from school/daycare count?  The kids are literally a captive audience.  I made sure to ask lots of questions then when they couldn't escape me.  I got some of my best info out of my kids while they were in the car.

[swamp]

Jul 15, 2013 21:30:09 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

I definitely am curious as to why they've classified counting chores and routines as not family time. To me, those facets of the day are a portion of parenting responsibilities. How would they not be family time? Maybe it's not "fun" family time. Today, both my daughters and I spent three hours scrapbooking. Is that a chore, an art project, or family time? Could depend on your personal perception. We play a lot of games in the car, so I would consider some of that family time.

We eat breakfast together every morning also. That's about 15-20 minutes, but DD#1 is rarely functioning enough to have a legitimate conversation. So, is it family time for the rest of us but not her?

Anyway, I do agree it's difficult during portions of the year to get enough time together that is constructive.

Scrapbooking is a chore.