co-worker vent

[michelyn8]

I have two female co-workers who are mother and daughter.  That alone fuels lots of aggravation but the daughter has plucked my last nerve this morning.  Mother is HR and daughter is our payroll clerk.  I do the project accounting and I'm daughter's backup for keying payroll if she ever takes a vacation.  In the three years I've been here, she's never taken a full week so I've never had to do any entries except the occasional correction - never a full week's batch.

When I sent out notice about needing info for entry before my vacation so daughter would have all new charge codes set up for payroll, she let me know she was going to take vacation this month and we discussed the dates.  My only request was that she not take a week off that I do double invoicing (I do invoices weekly for my division and bi-weekly for my old one).  She was ok with that and determined she'd take off next week (Tues-Mon).  I took my vacation, came back last week, sat with her and went over everything thinking I'd have this week to do some actual entries and review the process. 

This morning, she walked by while I was chatting with our boss and her mother in the breakroom and her mom asked why she was so happy.  I pointed out she was about to go on vacation which is when she informed us she was taking this week.  My face dropped and I told her she'd told me she was taking next week and I couldn't cover payroll this week and her mother pointed out that she'd told us she was taking next week.  She got all pouty and said she'd made all her plans for this week.  Our boss told her to go send out a notice to have timesheets in early this week and I said I'd work Friday to get them in.   Her mother had already walked off and I just gave our boss a look that clearly showed my irritation but I kept my mouth shut even though I wanted to let loose.  (He knows I am not happy working here as it is and is well aware of the petty BS from mother and daughter that pops ups every now and then that I keep my mouth shut about.)  A little later I get an e-mail from her to me, her mother and our boss that she'd be taking next week to keep everyone happy.

On break, I checked FB and she posted a pouty post about making plans for vacation only to be told she can't take it when she wants and having to change them.   I want so bad to walk in there and just bitch her out.  I don't care if she takes vacation, bossman doesn't care if she takes vacation.  The issue is not her taking vacation its that she told us one thing and made plans for another.  ARRGGGHHH!!!!!

I'm sitting in my office with the door shut because I just can't bring myself to participate in small talk with anyone right now and I don't want to go talk to bossman or the mother because I'm afraid I'll let lose about the whole situation and make things worse.  I also need to work with the daughter some more on the actual process but I can't see that happening to day with her pouting and me being on the edge of snapping and telling her what I think. 

[Tiny]

Yeah, it sucks when other people don't act/do/behave the way we want. It also sucks that you are expending so much time/energy/emotion on something that's technically "not your problem". Who cares if your co-worker is 'pouty' or 'pissy' or whatever. Stop giving her control over your emotions. In theory, you are the boss of you.

That said, it's totally OK to feel annoyed or angry or frustrated.... but you can control HOW annoyed/angry/frustrated you feel and for how long. I'm not suggesting that you are out of line with what you are feeling - just how you are dealing with it (really? you went and checked her FB? Is she someone you follow regularly or did you have to go out of your way to do this??)

It sounds like you are still going to take your scheduled time off and that no matter when the 'daughter' takes her time off you'd have to cover for her (more work/inconvenience). Take a deep breath, put down the anger/frustration/high emotion you are feeling because this woman isn't acting according to how you expect her to act... and find something more productive to spend your emotions on.   


Sorry, I'm just bitter that you have time and energy to spend on this kind of stuff (something I consider it a time/energy suck). I barely have time/energy/emotion to do the things I want to do on a daily basis... I wish I could find more 'time sucks' in my daily life to cut out so I could spend more time on the stuff I want to do.... I want more TIME!!!! wwahhhhhh!!!! wahhhh!!!      I'm off to wallow in my bitterness....        feel free to play the world's smallest violin for me

[Deleted]

I guess I am a "time waster" too because I'd be bitching if someone that I had to cover for told me they'd be taking vacation next week and then they turn around and plan on dumping their work off on me this week with no advanced warning! 

I couldn't check their FB though since work has blocked it. 

[michelyn8]

Jul 15, 2013 11:40:55 GMT -5 Tiny said:

Yeah, it sucks when other people don't act/do/behave the way we want. It also sucks that you are expending so much time/energy/emotion on something that's technically "not your problem". Who cares if your co-worker is 'pouty' or 'pissy' or whatever. Stop giving her control over your emotions. In theory, you are the boss of you.

That said, it's totally OK to feel annoyed or angry or frustrated.... but you can control HOW annoyed/angry/frustrated you feel and for how long. I'm not suggesting that you are out of line with what you are feeling - just how you are dealing with it (really? you went and checked her FB? Is she someone you follow regularly or did you have to go out of your way to do this??)

It sounds like you are still going to take your scheduled time off and that no matter when the 'daughter' takes her time off you'd have to cover for her (more work/inconvenience). Take a deep breath, put down the anger/frustration/high emotion you are feeling because this woman isn't acting according to how you expect her to act... and find something more productive to spend your emotions on.   


Sorry, I'm just bitter that you have time and energy to spend on this kind of stuff (something I consider it a time/energy suck). I barely have time/energy/emotion to do the things I want to do on a daily basis... I wish I could find more 'time sucks' in my daily life to cut out so I could spend more time on the stuff I want to do.... I want more TIME!!!! wwahhhhhh!!!! wahhhh!!!      I'm off to wallow in my bitterness....        feel free to play the world's smallest violin for me

Just for clarification I didn't go to her page and look at what she posted.  We are FB friends and I won't unfriend her over this because she follows causes I have an interest in but with more "passion" than I have (animal welfare for one).  When I checked my news feed on break, her post about this was the first one on my feed.

Yes its a time suck and I control my own attituded, blah, blah, blah.  Well part of that control is to find a healthy vent when I get annoyed and I thought this board was a place I could do so since I've skimmed through so many other vents and numerous thread about items I consider wastes of time.

Forgive me for allowing myself to believe I was among "friends".  I won't bore you with my trivial annoyances any further.

[Deleted]

You can keep boring me! 
And Tiny Speck can block both of us "annoyances" if she doesn't want to witness any more pity parties. 

[The Captain]

michelyn8 - I'm sorry you're going through this.  Sounds like your co-worker maybe needed to do a little venting of her own when her plans were not allowed to change.  I'm not saying she's right, but sometimes people don't understand how important it is to plan in advance.

Hopefully she'll have a better understanding now.

[Deleted]

Jul 15, 2013 12:27:51 GMT -5 michelyn8 said:

Jul 15, 2013 11:40:55 GMT -5 Tiny said:

Yeah, it sucks when other people don't act/do/behave the way we want. It also sucks that you are expending so much time/energy/emotion on something that's technically "not your problem". Who cares if your co-worker is 'pouty' or 'pissy' or whatever. Stop giving her control over your emotions. In theory, you are the boss of you.

That said, it's totally OK to feel annoyed or angry or frustrated.... but you can control HOW annoyed/angry/frustrated you feel and for how long. I'm not suggesting that you are out of line with what you are feeling - just how you are dealing with it (really? you went and checked her FB? Is she someone you follow regularly or did you have to go out of your way to do this??)

It sounds like you are still going to take your scheduled time off and that no matter when the 'daughter' takes her time off you'd have to cover for her (more work/inconvenience). Take a deep breath, put down the anger/frustration/high emotion you are feeling because this woman isn't acting according to how you expect her to act... and find something more productive to spend your emotions on.   


Sorry, I'm just bitter that you have time and energy to spend on this kind of stuff (something I consider it a time/energy suck). I barely have time/energy/emotion to do the things I want to do on a daily basis... I wish I could find more 'time sucks' in my daily life to cut out so I could spend more time on the stuff I want to do.... I want more TIME!!!! wwahhhhhh!!!! wahhhh!!!      I'm off to wallow in my bitterness....        feel free to play the world's smallest violin for me

Just for clarification I didn't go to her page and look at what she posted.  We are FB friends and I won't unfriend her over this because she follows causes I have an interest in but with more "passion" than I have (animal welfare for one).  When I checked my news feed on break, her post about this was the first one on my feed.

Yes its a time suck and I control my own attituded, blah, blah, blah.  Well part of that control is to find a healthy vent when I get annoyed and I thought this board was a place I could do so since I've skimmed through so many other vents and numerous thread about items I consider wastes of time.

Forgive me for allowing myself to believe I was among "friends".  I won't bore you with my trivial annoyances any further.

You sound angry today.  Maybe you need a vacation.

[Deleted]

I know you hate your job Arch, but don't you think flirting with death is a bit of an extreme way to get out of it?!?! 

[The Captain]

[Tiny]

Jul 15, 2013 12:27:51 GMT -5 michelyn8 said:

Jul 15, 2013 11:40:55 GMT -5 Tiny said:

Yeah, it sucks when other people don't act/do/behave the way we want. It also sucks that you are expending so much time/energy/emotion on something that's technically "not your problem". Who cares if your co-worker is 'pouty' or 'pissy' or whatever. Stop giving her control over your emotions. In theory, you are the boss of you.

That said, it's totally OK to feel annoyed or angry or frustrated.... but you can control HOW annoyed/angry/frustrated you feel and for how long. I'm not suggesting that you are out of line with what you are feeling - just how you are dealing with it (really? you went and checked her FB? Is she someone you follow regularly or did you have to go out of your way to do this??)

It sounds like you are still going to take your scheduled time off and that no matter when the 'daughter' takes her time off you'd have to cover for her (more work/inconvenience). Take a deep breath, put down the anger/frustration/high emotion you are feeling because this woman isn't acting according to how you expect her to act... and find something more productive to spend your emotions on.   


Sorry, I'm just bitter that you have time and energy to spend on this kind of stuff (something I consider it a time/energy suck). I barely have time/energy/emotion to do the things I want to do on a daily basis... I wish I could find more 'time sucks' in my daily life to cut out so I could spend more time on the stuff I want to do.... I want more TIME!!!! wwahhhhhh!!!! wahhhh!!!      I'm off to wallow in my bitterness....        feel free to play the world's smallest violin for me

Just for clarification I didn't go to her page and look at what she posted.  We are FB friends and I won't unfriend her over this because she follows causes I have an interest in but with more "passion" than I have (animal welfare for one).  When I checked my news feed on break, her post about this was the first one on my feed.

Yes its a time suck and I control my own attituded, blah, blah, blah.  Well part of that control is to find a healthy vent when I get annoyed and I thought this board was a place I could do so since I've skimmed through so many other vents and numerous thread about items I consider wastes of time.

Forgive me for allowing myself to believe I was among "friends".  I won't bore you with my trivial annoyances any further.

I'm sorry.  The 'humor' I was attempting fell flat -- with a huge thud    and then crickets chirping.   

[The Captain]

Whew!  Tiny - that makes me feel much better, it seemed very out of character for you...

[gooddecisions]

Sounds like you're lucky to have somebody who's never taken a whole week vacation in 3 years. I read your post 3 times, but it was really hard for me to follow. What is the resolution? You were taking Friday off but now you're coming in to make sure all the payroll is in? What days is she taking off and is she having to change them or were you able to accommodate? Can her mom or somebody else step in and do the required task? I'm totally confused.

[Abby Normal]

Jul 15, 2013 14:55:52 GMT -5 gooddecisions said:

Sounds like you're lucky to have somebody who's never taken a whole week vacation in 3 years. I read your post 3 times, but it was really hard for me to follow. What is the resolution? You were taking Friday off but now you're coming in to make sure all the payroll is in? What days is she taking off and is she having to change them or were you able to accommodate? Can her mom or somebody else step in and do the required task? I'm totally confused.

It's a vent- it's not supposed to make sense.  


I think this is the sequence.

Coworker - I want Xxx days off.  
Mich8-  Those days dont work for me to cover for you.
Coworker-  OK I'll take xxx + 7 (one week later)

Time goes by- and we are a couple days before the original date
Coworker-  Yeah I leave in a couple days
Mich 8-  You said you were taking next week.
Mom- yeah next week
Boss- yeah next week
Coworker- No this week

Mich 8 busts her butt and rearrange her schedule to accommodate coworkers change.  Mich 8 then finds FB message stating that coworker had to "Change" her date because they wouldn't let her take it off.  Mich 8 pissed because coworker is playing the victim, when it's really her own fault.  Not to mention that Mich 8 has to readjust her schedule again to accommodate the flip flop. 

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

All annoying people should be locked in closets.

I do hope you feel better soon, michelyn8.

[Shooby]

Coworkers, you can't live with em and you just can't shoot em.    So, deep cleansing breath and carry on! 

[Deleted]

A good bunch of co-workers can make even a sucky job pretty good.
A bad bunch of co-workers can make even a bad job sucky.
Sadly unless your the boss you don't get to pick your co-workers.

[ZaireinHD]

at least you two cover for each other - where as other places, including mine they don't.
but I guess this has to be done because it's payroll.

[happyscooter]

One of the first places I worked as a temp was a small mortgage company.  Mother and Daughter worked there along with a few other people.  2 gentlemen owners came in for a few hours every day.  I think there were 4 of us temps working to go through several boxes of papers that they had bought from a company.  Anyway, the mother daughter duo spent most of the day yelling at each other.  They had their own office but if one got a phone call and didn't want to talk to the person, they would yell at the other one to take it.  Then yell at them for transferring the call.  Yelled at each other for going to the restroom and not telling the other one.  Yelled at each other for not picking up the mail or anything that set them off.  I am talking about 4-5 hours a day yelling.  We went to lunch for an hour, they went to lunch for an hour and it was quiet MAYBE while the owners were there.  The 4 temps sat at a big conference table looking through stacks and stacks of papers.  None of us spoke, didn't get up to get coffee, go to the restroom, use the phone.  Nothing.  At the end of the week, I called my agency early before I left to go to the job and told them that if I was asked to come back the next week, the answer was 'no'.  The agency asked if I knew what the other 3 would do, I told my recruiter I didn't know.  One of the 3 was an older lady, I don't know if she had lost her job or had recently become a widow.  Not sure.  But she was so upset, it was her first temp job and she told me one day that she had to work for at least 6 months.  I guess she was going to collect SS as soon as possible but was trying to make some money in the meantime. 

Long story.  Didn't really have anything to do with the first post topic.

And if that had been my first temp job, I would have never gone to another place.  But it wasn't and I had been to another company first where I saw that temps were treated with respect and weren't treated like they didn't have a brain.

[Shooby]

  Over the years, i have just learned to not let coworkers bother me.  I just go in and focus on my job and stay out of the stupid drama going on around me.  Just learn to not care about it.  And, it is what it is.

[Nazgul Girl]

    Had to delete my post in case some nice people from my workplace frequent this board.   Just never know.  

[ZaireinHD]

I did enjoy the days of temping happyscooter
but I finally landed a permanent job and don't have to ...say worry about the timeframe of an assignment.

[happyscooter]

I love temping.  Have done it for years.  I hope to get back to it in the Fall.

[michelyn8]

Thank you everyone.  The week ending on a positive note.  She pouted Monday and Tuesday and I did my best to ignore it and pretty much just kept my mouth shut about the whole situation. I heard her mom in her office (next to mine) telling her she was in the wrong because she had given us all certain dates she was going to be off and would just have to deal with changing her plans.  She took off Wednesday to do some things she had planned and came back in a good mood Thursday.  She seems ok today and will be off the rest of the week. 

I'm continuing with my job hunt.  I'm getting worn out from the 10 hour days even though I do like my 3 day weekends. I know I'll have issues like this pop up at other jobs too but this type of situation is one of several minor issues that pile up now and then and make working here miserable more often than tolerable.

[thyme4change]

The good news - you got your way, and you won't have to do payroll this week.  Who cares if she is pissed off about it?

Another piece of good news is that the boss and HER mother are both on your side.  

I think all signs point to you being right.  So, shake it off - you are right, and everyone knows it, and she is being held to her original statement.  The fact that she is mad about it is not your problem.  

[formerroomate99]

Good to hear that things turned out well. 

As I understand it, Little Miss Entitled tried to leave you in the lurch, didn't get her way, and was pouting about it.  And the fact that she's pouting apparently ruined several of your days.  

Events like this don't ruin my day, because, when someone gets classified as an idiot/user/malicious in my mind, their opinions just don't matter to me anymore and their whining becomes nothing more than noise pollution.  This kind of detachment can be rather freeing and might be worth a try.  You're always going to have people in your life who are trying to take advantage of you or make your life harder.  Giving them control of your emotions brings unnecessary drama into your life and makes it easier for malicious people to manipulate you. 

[ZaireinHD]

the heat of the moment has passed
Congrats!!