Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 10, 2013 10:12:49 GMT -5
Actually it is the fact that she is my foster daughter that is causing me the problem. I've had friends pass their card over when we are out shopping and I'm paying for my stuff. It's an occasional thing and completely their choice. Doesn't bother me at all. GW2 is in my care. I'd hate for her to have any reason to feel taken advantage of. Mind you, I talked about going shopping without her last night and she brought it up again saying I should wait for her. She might have her own agenda for offering
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 10, 2013 10:18:23 GMT -5
Those Indians just keep screwing us.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Jul 10, 2013 10:18:38 GMT -5
I think her perception is even more important than the ethical tax-paying citizen part. It is another reason that you should be careful when using it. You might want to be very frank with her and say "I appreciate your offer, but I don't want you to think I'm using you." She might have a totally different perspective on it, and be hurt that you don't want to use it. Maybe you could make a compromise, like you would use it, but half of what you save could go into a savings account for her, or something.
You also have to consider what message you are sending about taxes or laws or respect for your country or whatever, and what you want those messages to be. There are certainly "pros" for both sides. You can send a message of frugality, or obedience, or whatever. There are ways to frame it up from any side to make it right.
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The Captain
Junior Associate
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Post by The Captain on Jul 10, 2013 11:55:08 GMT -5
Also,
Is it possible that she may see this as a way of contributing somehow to the household?
Just wondering...
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 10, 2013 14:12:25 GMT -5
Also, Is it possible that she may see this as a way of contributing somehow to the household? Just wondering... That is possible. Since many of the things I'm buying right now are for her and she has to be there to use the card I'm not going to stress it too much right now. We'll see how things proceed.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 10, 2013 14:26:20 GMT -5
Later maybe it was important to her last foster mom, so she assumes it's important to you too?
From the other thread hopefully she will be with you for a while, so I wouldn't "overthink" this. If she's offering, and around, and the purchases benefit either her or the general household, I don't see the problem. I would NOT use the card for something that would benefit solely you or GW1. Maybe GW2 is enjoying shopping with you and spending that time together? Or getting to buy some of her favorite items / foods, and she's too shy to ask for them outright?
Also, I assume she is off for the summer. I think she probably sees you spending a lot on her right now as she settles in (ie doing up her room for her) and wants to contribute. Once she starts college she will probably be too busy to go shopping with you as often.
How about you take her up on it every other time, or some of the time? That way she doesn't feel that you rely on it, but it's a good "excuse" to spend some time together, and see what she likes and doesn't like to eat?
Or (depending on how you shop) you could use her card once a month for a big monthly shop that the three of you could do together (assuming you do a big monthly shop) but not worry about having the card or not the rest of the time? (I'm not saying YOU would be worried about not having the card, I'm saying SHE might.)
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cktc
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Post by cktc on Jul 10, 2013 14:32:48 GMT -5
She might be concerned she is creating a financial burden. I think as long as she is with you, the purchases are to her benefit, and you only use it when she offers, it wouldn't be out of line.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jul 10, 2013 19:35:04 GMT -5
Screw the Debbie do rights on here....I would totally use her card and not feel bad about it.
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