Parents - how do you use humor in your parenting?

[milee]

DH and I are the quiet nerd type, so the default communication mode can be very Sheldonesque.  For some reason, kids don't always respond to calmly stated factual information.  Who knew?

Anyway, one of the tools I consciously use in parenting is to try to inject humor into the situation to diffuse tension.  Works pretty well.  Some examples:

When the teen boy gets all huffy and irritated that we're asking questions or "telling him what to do", I shrug and explain that rule 47 c. subsection iii of the Parenting Manual requires that I perform an appropriate level of inquiry.  Usually at that point, he'll start to crack a smile but still be argumentative.  So I follow up with a "Hey, are you trying to prevent me from doing my job?  This is my job as a mom and if you try to stop me, I'll have to call in my Union rep!"  By then, he's usually laughing, less defensive and we can talk.

Whenever we see or hear examples of adult kids mooching off their parents, I channel our favorite Jewish mothers, get all mushy and fake gush about how fantastic it will be when they're 29 and still living at home.  I'll wash their underwear, cook them all the liver they can eat and they can stay forever in our comfy basement!  They will be there to help me with my bunions and to go on blind dates with the toothless spinster daughters of my friends, etc.  (We live in Florida - there are no basements.)

The littlest still sometimes complains when I serve a healthy meal or ask him to try a bite of a new healthy food.  No winning that argument, so I put my hand on my forehead and exclaim with overwrought tenderness, "Oh, it is so awful for you that you have a mother that doesn't want you to die of scurvy!  It is every child's right to eat junk all day long, have their teeth fall out from cavities and then be deformed from rickets.  Oh, how you suffer!  Bring on the scurvy!"  By that point, he's laughing and even if he doesn't dig right into to the veggie, at least we're not arguing.

So, as you can tell, I'm not a great comedienne, so could use some new material.  Who has good examples of ways they use humor with their kids?  Share your stories, please.  I will shamelessly steal your material for use in my house.

[Deleted]

you're my parenting hero. For realz. 

[Deleted]

As a family we are big fans of the sarcasm, burn and snap... 

Are you looking for specific lines ? . Sounds like you are holding your own there...

[milee]

Jul 2, 2013 9:45:51 GMT -5 @moneyjenny82 said:

you're my parenting hero. For realz. 

Oh, no.  We need to get you around some good parents, then.  I'm just doing the best I can and praying these kids don't turn out to be axe murderers. 

[Deleted]

That's what we all do sweetie...

[milee]

Jul 2, 2013 9:48:50 GMT -5 oped said:

As a family we are big fans of the sarcasm, burn and snap... 

Are you looking for specific lines ? . Sounds like you are holding your own there...

Yes, I need some lines.  Spill your stories of good use of sarcasm... 

[Deleted]

I'm going to have to start a journal....

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Whenever one of us tells my parents they ruined our lives my dad says "You're welcome".  Definetly takes the wind out of my brother's sails.  It cracks me up.

Gwen looks at us like we're nuts during tantrums when we encourage her to work harder if she wants that Oscar, right now this tantrum is maybe at most a daytime emmy.

[Deleted]

Similar to you, I say I have to impose a rule or can't give them something cause all the other parents will make fun of me. They already give me a hard time for how much I spoil them.

[thyme4change]

We use so much humor, my kids can't even identify when we are serious.

Last night we were in the pool and my daughter said "He splashed me!"  My husband answered "Are you dead?"  Since that is the signal for "I don't care" she answered "Yes."  And my husband said "Hey, Thyme - more ice cream for us, daughter is dead."  

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

It wasn't meant to be funny at the time but when we were kids we were fighting really bad in the backseat of the car on the way to Colorado.  My dad got so frustrated he yelled "If you don't stop it right now you're going to wake up unconcious!"

Silence as everyone in the car tried to process the threat.  Then my dad tried to justify it which made everyone start laughing.

Now it's a running joke. 

[NoNamePerson]

Use all the humor you can. But be forwarned that you children in later years may turn it on you. Mine does it with his shit eating grin. I really don't think he got it from me.

[Pants]

Milee - mine is still too young yet for verbal humor - right now I usually use humor like putting pants on my head as a distraction. However I will be shamelessly stealing your examples above when she's old enough.

[Deleted]

Yeah, after a 10 hr car ride and before entering the restaurant, I suggested that, while perfection was not necessary, everyone might want to tone down the funk a little, to which son replied, in the perfect voice, Bitch, I'm already fabulous...

Bad mom award, I lmao...

[thyme4change]

Jul 2, 2013 10:11:48 GMT -5 NoNamePerson said:

Use all the humor you can. But be forwarned that you children in later years may turn it on you. Mine does it with his shit eating grin. I really don't think he got it from me.

I am absolutely we sure we are totally f**cked.

[The Captain]

DD is 10 and starting to try to pull the tween agnst/grump on us.

DH and I will slouch, put on our best pout and say in our best Eeyore voice "Woe is me, my life is soooo rough".  Usually in unison.  If that doesn't get her to crack a smile DH will start laughing maniacially until EVERYONE is laughing.

The we tell her it sucks to be a kid in our house because you're not allowed to be grumpy.

[sheilaincali]

We laugh and joke pretty much all the time at our house. 

When DS was younger any time he'd get frustrated and tell me "you are the meanest mom ever" I would stand up and give a speech like I was accepting an Oscar.  I'd be sure to thank all of my fellow nominees, tell him what an honor it is to just be nominated, etc. 

We used to do this "attitude pit" thing.  Like when he was crabby we'd tell him to dig and attitude pit and bury all of his bad attitude in it.  We'd keep a little plastic spoon in the glove box for him or start dramatically checking our pockets for something he could use to dig said pit.  Then we'd stand him in it and start making him shake and slough the 'tude' off in and into the pit.

My son misread the word "melancholy" once and pronounced it "milk-a-nee".  Now whenever he seems down or something we'll ask him if he's feeling "milk-a-nee"  usually makes him laugh.

We all three have a very similar sense of humor so please don't think we are horrible people-  We have been telling DS for years about his "other siblings" as he is an always has been an only child.  We'll tell him "you know your brother Timmy lied to us once and you don't see him living here anymore do you?"  DH has started telling him if he doesn't improve his attitude we will drop him off at the fire station just like we did with his brother George. 

Last night I told DS and DH that if we ever needed to punish DS that we weren't going to ground him.  We would send him to stay at my various siblings houses and make him babysit their kids.  I said- If you are only a little bad you can go to Iowa with Aunt S, if you get a second offense you are going to Duluth with Uncle M.  Third offense and it's off to Uncle B's house.  My Brother B is an ass and DS doesn't like him at all.  He told me "if it comes to that and you're going to send me to B's house I'll take a cab to the fire station myself!".   

[sheilaincali]

Jul 2, 2013 10:11:48 GMT -5 NoNamePerson said:

Use all the humor you can. But be forwarned that you children in later years may turn it on you. Mine does it with his shit eating grin. I really don't think he got it from me.

At least twice a week I'll accuse DS of being a smart ass and he tells me every time "Learned from the best, you have no one to blame but yourself"  He says it's all my fault for "raising him in my image"

[busymom]

We use humor at our house too!  It DOES help prevent sullen teenagers. 


Instead of the "Parenting Manual", DH & I are the majority stockholders of the "We Say So" Corporation! 

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

We're also huge on humorous and sarcastic parenting. Things like: "I'm mailing your application to sleep-away military school tomorrow", "now I know why some animals eat their children", "I am required by the parenting manual to embarrass and humiliate you in front of your friends as often as possible", "keep it up, and I will be living with YOU not your brother when I am old and in diapers", Etc.

When humor and sarcasm don't work, I lay the Catholic guilt on them: "I don't think Jesus would do THAT!!!", "children are starving in Biafra so eat those peas/asparagus/etc.", "you guys have no clue how very blessed you are -- there is no war/crime/famine/etc. outside our door", etc. Usually the guilt trips end up in (appropriate) laughter.

Oh, and I started telling them when they were infants that they had to move out on their own by the time they were 30. I'll help them through college--even grad school--but then they need to get out so Dad and I can run around naked like we did before they were born.

Just keep humoring your kiddos--eventually they will see how very insane we are and realize they have no chance of winning an argument with us because of the insanity. :-)

[sheilaincali]

We like to keep the boy on his toes so our favorite thing to do is to run into his room when he is on Skype and start singing and dancing behind him so his friends can see us.   We belt out an impressive version of "On the day that you were born..."  Cracks DS' friends up every time.  They tell him "your parents are the best" and he's usually responds with "you try living with them, I'll trade you them any day of the week" 

[thyme4change]

When my daughter whines, I tell you "Stop being so whiny - that is my thing."

[Deleted]

I love it, OPED!

DS will be 2 in a few weeks.  All I do right now is mock him when he has a tantrum that's not so bad.  He gives me this look like "WTF...?"  Most of the time we laugh at his tantrums but when he's too far gone, we let him comb Daddy's hair.  That's always good for a laugh. 

[swamp]

Jul 2, 2013 10:05:39 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

We use so much humor, my kids can't even identify when we are serious.

Last night we were in the pool and my daughter said "He splashed me!"  My husband answered "Are you dead?"  Since that is the signal for "I don't care" she answered "Yes."  And my husband said "Hey, Thyme - more ice cream for us, daughter is dead." 

The usual situation is a meltdown over something trivial, so I start to "melt down" and take the situation to the most extreme and silly end. 

[Deleted]

Jul 2, 2013 10:11:48 GMT -5 NoNamePerson said:

Use all the humor you can. But be forwarned that you children in later years may turn it on you. Mine does it with his shit eating grin. I really don't think he got it from me.

GW too. If I bug her too much she reminds me that she will be picking out my home and it's looking pretty sad right now.

[sheilaincali]

later-  that's a running competition at our house- "Who gets the good home".  We tease the boy and suck up to him in an effort to get him to tell us how is winning the race to get the "good home".  So far I'm in the lead  

We will walk up to him if his back in to us and pat him on the head and say "you're so pretty and smart.  Of all my kids you are my favorite" and then ask him "can you add some points to my total for the good home game?" 

[Sum Dum Gai]

We tell ours stories about their older brother Kyle who lives in an orphanage in Russia now.  He didn't like to clean his room, help out around the house, and he brought home a D once.

[steff]

Now that my kiddo is 19, he's turned that "humor" around on me too. 

The other night I was bitching at him to do something & made the comment that even when he moves out, I'm going to call him to come over & take out the trash for me.  His response was "Hey, don't forget I'm an only child who has to take care of you when you are old.  Don't make me put you out on the curb with a sign that says "Free to a good home"."

[steff]

Jul 2, 2013 12:13:13 GMT -5 Sum Dum Gai said:

We tell ours stories about their older brother Kyle who lives in an orphanage in Russia now.  He didn't like to clean his room, help out around the house, and he brought home a D once.

We used to tell one of my brothers growing up that he was adopted from Russia, but the handbook was in Russian, so we had no clue what to do with him for years. 

We also told him he was a twin & flipped a coin & gave away the other kid.  That they were "Zek & Zak" & mom had to change his name in case the other brother showed back up she could deny he was hers. 

[Jake 48]

DW has the wit,

if the kids were complaining we were bad parents her reply " if your not in therapy by the time your 30, I didn't do my job" or " tell it to your therapist"

on bumps, bruises and cuts, " all bleeding stops eventually"