Phoenix84
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 17, 2011 21:42:35 GMT -5
Posts: 10,056
|
Post by Phoenix84 on Jun 13, 2013 14:41:52 GMT -5
The thread on wrongful termination or not began talking about background checks. There are some interesting things I'd like to discuss. How does a private citizen do a background check? I thought most information on people was kept confidential? Wouldn't there be privacy concerns if anyone out there can pull up your personal info? And how do you even know it's the right John Doe without their social security number? If you're just getting to know someone, presumably you wouldn't know that. How complete are the reports and what are in them? Are all criminal records public? Or just things like the sex offender registry? Have you ever done a background check on someone? When should you? Would you be upset if someone did a background check on you without your knowledge? Anyways, I know those were a gauntlent of questions. But feel free to answer any of them, or otherwise just discuss background checks in general.
|
|
Phoenix84
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 17, 2011 21:42:35 GMT -5
Posts: 10,056
|
Post by Phoenix84 on Jun 13, 2013 14:44:10 GMT -5
Personally I would be very offended if someone ran a background check on me without my knowledge. It shows a distinct lack of trust and I would be outraged. Probably break off the relationship if I could. I don't want to be around people who are going to snoop behind my back.
|
|
Gardening Grandma
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 13:39:46 GMT -5
Posts: 17,962
|
Post by Gardening Grandma on Jun 13, 2013 14:45:51 GMT -5
Well, the term is a bit general. When we had potential renters, I used the state website to find out if they had a criminal record. Anyone can do it - the cost is $10. I also either pulled their credit report (with their permission) or had them pull it and give me a copy. I called previous landlords, their employer and checked references. All of that constituted my "background check".
|
|
Green Eyed Lady
Senior Associate
Look inna eye! Always look inna eye!
Joined: Jan 23, 2012 11:23:55 GMT -5
Posts: 19,629
|
Post by Green Eyed Lady on Jun 13, 2013 14:55:05 GMT -5
Some states (I have no idea how many) have an on-line court records information system. It can be accessed by the public. However, a lot of the info is not available unless you have a higher security to check. However, if I'm going to date a guy and his name shows up like 100 times, even if I don't know the exact charges, I'm running for the hills.
Once you have been found guilty of a crime (and in some states - even charged - and if you are adult), it become public information. So no. There is no violation of privacy and you can bet that any place that is thinking about hiring you checks this data base.
As to your question about accuracy, of course there can be several people with the same name. However, the information available includes date of birth, so if you know your John Doe is in his 20s and there are two different listings, the guy with the dob of 1920 is probably not your guy.
As to how complete the reports are, again, it depends on your security clearance. If you have a certain security log in, you will see everything from the offense, involved parties, sentences and fines, civil matters, etc. If you don't have high security, to my last recollection, all you can see is the charge and outcome.
And yes. I have done background checks on people. Some professional - some personal. And I would thoroughly check out any man that I had the least inkling of a serious relationship with. Why? Because I no longer trust my own judgment.
No. I wouldn't be upset if someone did a background check on me. First, they wouldn't find anything negative and secondly, because it's been done before. It's most likely been done to you, too.
I am only reporting about the states I'm familiar with - mine and the surrounding states I do business with. I can't speak for every state in the union.
|
|
Green Eyed Lady
Senior Associate
Look inna eye! Always look inna eye!
Joined: Jan 23, 2012 11:23:55 GMT -5
Posts: 19,629
|
Post by Green Eyed Lady on Jun 13, 2013 14:57:40 GMT -5
Personally I would be very offended if someone ran a background check on me without my knowledge. It shows a distinct lack of trust and I would be outraged. Probably break off the relationship if I could. I don't want to be around people who are going to snoop behind my back. Understood. I totally get that. But on the other side of the coin, I'd be suspect of any man who was outraged that I'd check his record. It would scream "I have something to hide" in my mind. But then I'm paranoid. He is also free to check mine and I wouldn't be in the least bit offended.....because I have nothing to hide and I understand being careful.
|
|
movingforward
Junior Associate
Joined: Sept 15, 2011 12:48:31 GMT -5
Posts: 8,385
|
Post by movingforward on Jun 13, 2013 15:01:18 GMT -5
Personally I would be very offended if someone ran a background check on me without my knowledge. It shows a distinct lack of trust and I would be outraged. Probably break off the relationship if I could. I don't want to be around people who are going to snoop behind my back. So would you be okay with it if they blatantly asked you if they could? Not making any judgements one way or the other, just asking. After I had been on a date with a man a few times I told him in a jokingly manner that I was going to have my friend at the police dept run a background check. I said it jokingly but I was serious and I did run a background check. Later on, I asked this same man to get a blood test before having unprotected sex with him. We ended up in a 2 yr relationship. From my perspective we are grown adults, not high school kids, and I don't really know where this person has been so yes if I am getting serious with someone I want as much information as possible. On the same note, they can make these same requests of me as well.
|
|
NancysSummerSip
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 19:19:42 GMT -5
Posts: 36,673
Today's Mood: Full of piss and vinegar
Favorite Drink: Anything with ice
|
Post by NancysSummerSip on Jun 13, 2013 15:05:01 GMT -5
Many states do in fact have online court records. However....
Many states also have large gaps in what is online. Keep in mind that not every county in every state offers the same information. Ohio is a good example. Each county in Ohio decides what information to put online (and online can be defined as either accessible by Internet at your home or office, or online at the courthouse. And yes, the information can be quite different).
For New York state, all the counties are centralized through one record system, BUT only felonies and the misdemeanors committed with them are online; no traffic information is available.
Some states have records online, but so much information is missing, it's really useless. California's a good example of this. No dates of birth or other information to help you figure out one John Smith from another.
And DO NOT depend on those services that claim to run national or nationwide searches. They are garbage. They rarely if ever get to the most localized level, and also tend to contain records with errors and records they should not be reporting, such as expunged records.
|
|
Phoenix84
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 17, 2011 21:42:35 GMT -5
Posts: 10,056
|
Post by Phoenix84 on Jun 13, 2013 15:06:01 GMT -5
Having nothing to hide isn't the point. I have a security clearance, so I've endured about the most thurough background check one can endure. But the point is I don't like people snooping around my past without my knowledge or conscent. If someone came to me and said "our relationship is getting serious, but I'd like to run a background check on you." I'd probably say "okay, if you want." But doing it behind someone's back is like logging in and reading their e-mail, though from what I hear some lovers do that too.
|
|
Phoenix84
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 17, 2011 21:42:35 GMT -5
Posts: 10,056
|
Post by Phoenix84 on Jun 13, 2013 15:08:59 GMT -5
"So would you be okay if they blatenly asked you if they could?"
As I said, yes, that would be acceptable. I prefer people are upfront if they want something, especially something that personal. But they won't find anything so it'd be a waste of their time and money.
|
|
Green Eyed Lady
Senior Associate
Look inna eye! Always look inna eye!
Joined: Jan 23, 2012 11:23:55 GMT -5
Posts: 19,629
|
Post by Green Eyed Lady on Jun 13, 2013 15:09:37 GMT -5
Having nothing to hide isn't the point. I have a security clearance, so I've endured about the most thurough background check one can endure. But the point is I don't like people snooping around my past without my knowledge or conscent. If someone came to me and said "our relationship is getting serious, but I'd like to run a background check on you." I'd probably say "okay, if you want." But doing it behind someone's back is like logging in and reading their e-mail, though from what I hear some lovers do that too. I understand what you are saying, Phoenix, and it's a good idea to let someone know in advance. But if they were upset about it, I'd do it anyway. I'm all about personal safety and if the guy doesn't understand that, he's not the one for me anyway.
|
|
Phoenix84
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 17, 2011 21:42:35 GMT -5
Posts: 10,056
|
Post by Phoenix84 on Jun 13, 2013 15:11:23 GMT -5
Having nothing to hide isn't the point. I have a security clearance, so I've endured about the most thurough background check one can endure. But the point is I don't like people snooping around my past without my knowledge or conscent. If someone came to me and said "our relationship is getting serious, but I'd like to run a background check on you." I'd probably say "okay, if you want." But doing it behind someone's back is like logging in and reading their e-mail, though from what I hear some lovers do that too. I understand what you are saying, Phoenix, and it's a good idea to let someone know in advance. But if they were upset about it, I'd do it anyway. I'm all about personal safety and if the guy doesn't understand that, he's not the one for me anyway. Would you tell the guy in advance?
|
|
movingforward
Junior Associate
Joined: Sept 15, 2011 12:48:31 GMT -5
Posts: 8,385
|
Post by movingforward on Jun 13, 2013 15:11:49 GMT -5
But doing it behind someone's back is like logging in and reading their e-mail, though from what I hear some lovers do that too.
I disagree. Finding out if someone has a criminal record that could possibly effect your life physically in a negative way (e.g. abusive history) is not the same as reading a person's inter most thoughts or personal responses to another human being.
|
|
Green Eyed Lady
Senior Associate
Look inna eye! Always look inna eye!
Joined: Jan 23, 2012 11:23:55 GMT -5
Posts: 19,629
|
Post by Green Eyed Lady on Jun 13, 2013 15:28:00 GMT -5
I understand what you are saying, Phoenix, and it's a good idea to let someone know in advance. But if they were upset about it, I'd do it anyway. I'm all about personal safety and if the guy doesn't understand that, he's not the one for me anyway. Would you tell the guy in advance? I will now as I'm seeing it from your perspective. I haven't in the past.
|
|
Phoenix84
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 17, 2011 21:42:35 GMT -5
Posts: 10,056
|
Post by Phoenix84 on Jun 13, 2013 15:54:55 GMT -5
That's for the best GEL. If you want to build a relationship with someone baed on trust, it's best to be upfront about an activity such as that. If he gets outraged at the mere mention of it, then you should be concerned. I guess you could treat the initial asking as a kind of test, to see if he is okay with you valuing your personal safety. But I imagine for most guys it will go over far better if you're up front about it.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 6, 2024 8:34:23 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2013 15:55:18 GMT -5
Phoenix, I have a sister and cousins. If they told me the guy got upset I would say "run forest, run".
And the time to run a background check is not when the relationship is getting serious or you like the person: it is before it even get there. Aka before the first date or by date #3.
Once you "like" them you are no longer logical, you will come up for a million reasons "why" and most likely to swallow the bullshit they feed you.
No I would not get upset, same way I did not get upset when my wife asked me to get an STD/HIV test before she would sleep with me.
|
|
Tennesseer
Member Emeritus
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 21:58:42 GMT -5
Posts: 64,488
|
Post by Tennesseer on Jun 13, 2013 15:55:42 GMT -5
But doing it behind someone's back is like logging in and reading their e-mail, though from what I hear some lovers do that too.
I disagree. Finding out if someone has a criminal record that could possibly effect your life physically in a negative way (e.g. abusive history) is not the same as reading a person's inter most thoughts or personal responses to another human being. It wouldn't bother me one bit if a potential mate secretly ordered a background check. I'm not paranoid. And if something about someone was triggering my 'be cautious' gene, I wouldn't hesitate quietly ordering a background check.
|
|
Phoenix84
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 17, 2011 21:42:35 GMT -5
Posts: 10,056
|
Post by Phoenix84 on Jun 13, 2013 15:56:21 GMT -5
But doing it behind someone's back is like logging in and reading their e-mail, though from what I hear some lovers do that too.
I disagree. Finding out if someone has a criminal record that could possibly effect your life physically in a negative way (e.g. abusive history) is not the same as reading a person's inter most thoughts or personal responses to another human being. It's similar in the fact that if you don't tell them you're doing it, it's snooping, which is disrespectful to the person involved.
|
|
movingforward
Junior Associate
Joined: Sept 15, 2011 12:48:31 GMT -5
Posts: 8,385
|
Post by movingforward on Jun 13, 2013 15:59:03 GMT -5
I know people who have run background checks on someone before they even go out on a date with them. I personally see nothing wrong with it. If a man wants to run a background check on me then more power to him and he doesn't have to tell me a thing about it. But don't you dare go through my purse that is cause for dismissal
|
|
Phoenix84
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 17, 2011 21:42:35 GMT -5
Posts: 10,056
|
Post by Phoenix84 on Jun 13, 2013 15:59:46 GMT -5
But Cawaiu, she ASKED you to get one, she didn't drug you and take a sample of your blood while you were unconscious. That's the difference.
I wouldn't get upset at asking, I'd get upset at doing it behind my back. Every other time you get checked out, you know it. Why would dating be any different? You know when your employer or landlord checks you out.
|
|
Green Eyed Lady
Senior Associate
Look inna eye! Always look inna eye!
Joined: Jan 23, 2012 11:23:55 GMT -5
Posts: 19,629
|
Post by Green Eyed Lady on Jun 13, 2013 16:01:27 GMT -5
That's for the best GEL. If you want to build a relationship with someone baed on trust, it's best to be upfront about an activity such as that. If he gets outraged at the mere mention of it, then you should be concerned. I guess you could treat the initial asking as a kind of test, to see if he is okay with you valuing your personal safety. But I imagine for most guys it will go over far better if you're up front about it. lol...thanks, Phoenix. Men are a mystery to me so I'll take your advice.
|
|
NancysSummerSip
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 19:19:42 GMT -5
Posts: 36,673
Today's Mood: Full of piss and vinegar
Favorite Drink: Anything with ice
|
Post by NancysSummerSip on Jun 13, 2013 16:01:45 GMT -5
Personally, I don't consider it "snooping" if the records are in the public venue. Court records are public; anyone who has a computer or the means to go to a courthouse (if the records are not online) can look at criminal and civil records on a person.
Looking at a person's home computer, cell phone records, or email - that's on a whole 'nother level. If you're that suspicious that you would do that, I'd say it's time to hit the bricks.
|
|
movingforward
Junior Associate
Joined: Sept 15, 2011 12:48:31 GMT -5
Posts: 8,385
|
Post by movingforward on Jun 13, 2013 16:02:35 GMT -5
Personally, I don't consider it "snooping" if the records are in the public venue. Court records are public; anyone who has a computer or the means to go to a courthouse (if the records are not online) can look at criminal and civil records on a person. Looking at a person's home computer, cell phone records, or email - that's on a whole 'nother level. If you're that suspicious that you would do that, I'd say it's time to hit the bricks.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 6, 2024 8:34:23 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2013 16:02:40 GMT -5
I know people who have run background checks on someone before they even go out on a date with them. Same here! And they do some google/ Facebook and twitter searches. I know because my wife helped on a few of those searches.
|
|
NancysSummerSip
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 19:19:42 GMT -5
Posts: 36,673
Today's Mood: Full of piss and vinegar
Favorite Drink: Anything with ice
|
Post by NancysSummerSip on Jun 13, 2013 16:10:24 GMT -5
Checking Twitter/Facebook is a gray area in terms of employers doing it. It's coming under a lot of discussion. Some employers are insisting that prospective employees give up their Facebook/Twitter passwords so they can check their pages. Um, yeah, like anyone should be asking for that. Or giving up that info. Ever. Smarter idea: if you are job hunting, clean up your pages. Don't give someone a reason to not hire you when they see a photo of you on vacation in Cancun, licking beer off a dancer's . And if you are active on the dating scene, think before you post, and for that matter, clean up your pages, too. Why let the guy/gal of your dreams, the possible mother/father of your babies, get away because they saw your post about that hot night with a Dalmatian, a bottle of Jack Daniel's and the hometown minor league baseball team?
|
|
|
Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Jun 13, 2013 16:17:55 GMT -5
Personally I would be very offended if someone ran a background check on me without my knowledge. It shows a distinct lack of trust and I would be outraged. Probably break off the relationship if I could. I don't want to be around people who are going to snoop behind my back.
I met TD online and after months of chatting with him, he wanted to meet up. I researched him more than I research most papers I write before I agreed to see him. I needed to know that the stuff that he told me meshed with what was out there online. I was able to verify a large part of the stuff he told me, where he lived, what he did, what he was involved in, etc. Not only that, I told him I did so after the fact and after I agreed to meet him. If I had the ability to do a background check, I would have as well.
There are a lot of crazies out there in the world and (as attested by some of the more recent threads) and if you don't look to protect yourself, who will?
My researching him out online didn't take away 100% of the risk of meeting up with someone I had never met, other than through a computer monitor, but it did decrease it a bit.
|
|
Phoenix84
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 17, 2011 21:42:35 GMT -5
Posts: 10,056
|
Post by Phoenix84 on Jun 13, 2013 16:20:12 GMT -5
Oh Shit!
My future wife could be snooping on these very boards for info about me? You'all are making me look bad
|
|
susanb
Well-Known Member
Joined: Jun 21, 2012 14:16:56 GMT -5
Posts: 1,430
|
Post by susanb on Jun 13, 2013 16:24:29 GMT -5
I met my DH online. Before our first date (lunch in a restaurant), I paid for a background check from a website. I told him about it. He was not only fine with it, he also emailed me a copy of his driver's license. His idea.
I didn't have sex with him until he had a blood test 6 months after his last sexual encounter. I called the county health nursed and asked how long it would take for an infection to show up and 6 months was what she advised.
My DH respected the fact that I respected my safety and well being, and was completely supportive.
|
|
|
Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Jun 13, 2013 16:26:08 GMT -5
Oh Shit!
My future wife could be snooping on these very boards for info about me? You'all are making me look bad I think you are being naive if you don't think you'd be researched in one way or another. Flip the picture and look at it differently. How would you feel if you had invested your emotions, your time and your money in a relationship, only to find out that the girl you were seeing was up to her eyeballs in debt, or had connections to people associated with drugs. As YOU have security clearance, being associated with someone like this could jeopardize your career. Are you willing to do this?
|
|
justme
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 10, 2012 13:12:47 GMT -5
Posts: 14,618
|
Post by justme on Jun 13, 2013 16:35:12 GMT -5
Now I'm wondering how I haven't ended up dead in a ditch somewhere. I've met a lot of people from online, most not knowing their last names. Definitely never ran a background check. I've googled/facebooked them but not before a first date unless the guy offers up a last name - though even then is more to show my friends his page then to look through his past.
|
|
susanb
Well-Known Member
Joined: Jun 21, 2012 14:16:56 GMT -5
Posts: 1,430
|
Post by susanb on Jun 13, 2013 16:43:26 GMT -5
Now I'm wondering how I haven't ended up dead in a ditch somewhere. I've met a lot of people from online, most not knowing their last names. Definitely never ran a background check. I've googled/facebooked them but not before a first date unless the guy offers up a last name - though even then is more to show my friends his page then to look through his past. I don't think I would do the background check today. DH and I met seven years ago. Online dating was still seen as kind of shady and dangerous at the time. Also, people didn't have as much information about themselves on the internet to check out.
|
|