Is this a good gift?

[Miss Tequila]

If your SIL doesn't want to be in the family photo, she doesn't have to show up that day.

I think it was a very thoughtful gift.  You did good.  SIL is just jealous that she didn't think of it first.

[deantrip]

I think it is a great gift.  It is thoughtful and generous.

[thyme4change]

It is a good gift.  We have given several portraits to my in-laws.  The hardest part is scheduling it and rallying everyone.  For some reason it gives everyone heartburn.  I don't know what the big deal is - it is a frickin' picture.  
Have you ever seen the "Everyone loves Raymond" episode where they take a family picture?  It was released a couple weeks before my family got a group shot, and after all the drama I nearly wet my pants watching the episode.  

[kittensaver]

I think it's a great idea! My mother is turning 90 very soon, and we're planning a large party. 4 generations will be there - coming from all over the country. I've hired a photographer because the entire family has not been together in quite some time. I'd like each smaller family group to be able to get a photo with her, as well as a photo of the entire group. Every time we get together you just never know if it's going to be the last time . . .

For a gift, I bought a very large photo frame with a wide mat. At the family photo session (an hour before the party) I'm going to have every family member write a brief greeting or good wish directly on the mat, and then pick one of the large group photos for the frame. She will have a family photo including personal messages from all her family for her wall

[nogooddeed]

Look at the web site Awkward Family Photos for some ideas on how to pose! 

[Deleted]

Agreed. Good gift.... We just did a pic of all the grandkids for DHs parents. They will love it.

[NancysSummerSip]

Aw, I think it's a great gift. Your SIL is just being a pain in the family butt. Tell her to show up, but when she does, hand her a paper bag to wear over her head so she does not spoil the photo.

[cronewitch]

For my grandparents 50th anniversary their daughters decided they needed pictures. So they bought frames and each couple got a 8X10 then each grandchild had a 5X7 of them with spouses and children. We sent all the photos to my mom and her sister for framing in matching frames so they had the 3 younger generations. We were all over the world so we couldn't be in one picture.

[Gardening Grandma]

I thihnk it is a wonderful gift!  Every Christmas my kids ask me what I want. I always tell them, "pictures".  I'd rather have photos than "stuff" that I'll never use.

[vonna]

Another vote for it being a great gift!!  I think it is so great, that I just may use it for my dad, who will be turning 80 next year!!

[mmhmm]

I, too, think it's a great gift.  I'd be happy to receive it!

[sheilaincali]

I think it's a good gift and one my mom would love

BUT

I absolutely hate having to do this sort of thing.  I'm sure you're family is all sane and what not but my family isn't.  It's always a nightmare.  My mom thinks that the kids need "matching outfits" not always possible when they range in age from 15 to 3.   My brother is a major asshat who will dictate where he stands, where his kids stand, what he will wear, etc.  He refuses to smile so inevitably my mom spends half the session trying to get him to smile and corral the kids who's parents aren't paying attention. 
My sister will suggest that my brother's three year old remove his pacifier and that will get under my brother's skin because by her saying "C take out your pacy and smile" she is really telling our brother (C's dad) "you are a shitty parent because your son has a pacifier at nearly 4 years old and I am better than you"
Half way through the session she will most likely start to cry and by the time it's all over no one is speaking to each other.

So yes- if you have a normal family it's a great idea. 

[Peace Of Mind]

So yes- if you have a normal family it's a great idea.

   Your SIL is just jealous or cheap because now she has to try to top your gift or she's mad you didn't allow her to go in on it with you so now she has to shop for something AND try to get one as good.   

[sesfw]

I think a family picture is a great idea.  If it gets to be a huge hassle, maybe have each individual family send a picture and make a collage.


'If your SIL doesn't want to be in the family photo, she doesn't have to show up that day.'


  She is being a PIA.

[MarleyKeezy78]

I say   Great gift!

[raeoflyte]

Definitely a great gift!

I had family members irritated with me for insisting on family pictures when my cousin and her kids came to town. Dgf passed away a few months after we did the picture, and they all talked about how glad they were that we did it.

My mil lives in a world where such things can't be scheduled until she loses weight. Which is why their first pro family photo was wasn't done until we had ds and Dh and I insisted on one. Even she's happy we did them.

[Deleted]

Why would the SIL think you needed to check with anyone? It makes me think she is going to be a PITA about scheduling a sitting. But that's on her. If you just end up with a pic of your family with MIL it's more than she has now.

[taz157]

Jun 13, 2013 13:40:07 GMT -5 kittensaver said:

I think it's a great idea! My mother is turning 90 very soon, and we're planning a large party. 4 generations will be there - coming from all over the country. I've hired a photographer because the entire family has not been together in quite some time. I'd like each smaller family group to be able to get a photo with her, as well as a photo of the entire group. Every time we get together you just never know if it's going to be the last time . . .

When my grandmother turned 80 and it was somewhat known that my grandfather's health wasn't the best, one of my aunts organized having all of us visit for gma's 80th birthday and take a group picture. There was a lot of complaining about it from many people, but I'm glad it was done. When you look at the group picture now, both grandparents and another older relative have already passed away. (This picture was taken 7 years ago.)

Excellent idea wrongside!

[Deleted]

Yes - portraits are a fantastic gift.  They are fabulous keepsakes & memory savers :-)

Ignore the SIL who's just jealous that she didn't think of a cool & meaningful gift like that!!

[whoisjohngalt]

OK.....so, this is awkward, but I don't think it's a good idea.

You are basically making her work for her gift, bc she will be dependent on getting everyone together, getting the pic taken, etc.  She will have to wait until everyone else is available and willing to do this.

It WOULD be nice to schedule everything first, do the picture and gift it to her in a nice frame.  Or just to take some pictures with everyone in it and make a collage. 

Since it seems that I am the only one who doesn't like, I could be wrong, but if it were me, I wouldn't have liked it.  I like already "done" gifts (with minor exceptions)


So, what we did for my mom for her 60th - we made her a CD that we called "Your first 60 years" and my DH scanned pictures going back to her childhood, with her parents, family, then her wedding, their anniversaries, b-days, then my wedding, etc.  I didn't have any kids then, so they are not in it.  It was all put to music - I tried to find her favorite songs, also going back years, etc.  

[jinksd1]

I think it would make a great gift that she would like, but I don't think you should do it.

I actually agree with you SIL that you should have checked with the siblings before going ahead with anything, since it involves them. Will they be helping pay for it? Will it be a gift from them, too? If not, have you thought about how they will be going out of their way to help you give a gift from you. If it will also be a gift from them, they should have had a say in it and whether they even wanted to give it as a gift. They may have something already chosen or bought, or it might not fit their budget, or they might just think it's a bad gift.

And even if you haven't set a date or anything yet, I'm sure it's not going to be fun trying to arrange everyone's schedule to get it done. The SIL might not be happy at the idea of what a pain it's likely to be. Inevitably, at least one person (and likely several) will have to get off work early, give up plans they had, miss a sport practice or music lesson, or something along those lines. After all, you mentioned there are siblings (plural), so I imagine there are quite a few people involved.

I don't have siblings, but I wouldn't be happy to have someone inform me that we/she would be giving a certain gift that would take my involvement (and possibly money), without even asking about it first.

Sorry, not trying to sound harsh, but I think you should back off on this one if you're getting any kind of pushback from the people you want involved. Perhaps you could instead do a nice portrait of just your little family and give that. I'm sure she'd love that as a gift, too.

[bookkeeper]

I have been trying to give my parents photos for Christmas and other hallmark holidays.  They are in their upper 70's and already have a house full of stuff.  They like new photos of their family to show off to their friends and other extended family.

My family is a pain in the ass to get to the photography studio.  I usually require family snapshots twice a year at home.  My neighbor takes the photos, I print enlargements at Walgreens and we have family photos without the drama.  They are not professional, but they capture how we really look and act.

Last Thanksgiving I told everyone to bring along a black shirt.  I found a black sheet at the thrift store, hung it up and we posed in front of it wearing the black shirts.  Really cool effect and it made a great Christmas card.

[wvugurl26]

We did this for my grandparents and they loved it. One of my aunts picked the photographer and coordinated date and time. I'd have to look at the picture to remember but we picked colors maybe red/blue or one of them and got polo shirts and wore jeans maybe? We did colors so people wouldn't clash but general guidelines like we are wearing red polo shirts and jeans not we are buying this shirt at this store.

[greeniis10]

Jun 14, 2013 8:36:46 GMT -5 @wrongsideof30 said:

Yeah, it's going to be a pain in the ass and I'm not looking forward to getting pictures taken either, but MIL will really like it. Her b-day is tomorrow and I can't think of anything else to get her, so this is happening. We all live within 5 miles of each other. I don't think it will be too difficult finding a day that everyone can spare 2-3 hours. I'll take on the burden of trying to coordinate it and I'll be the bad guy for making people get their picture taken.

It will be a hassle to coordinate and it will be full of whining and complaining, but once it's done everyone will be happy they did it!  It will be worth it. 

[thyme4change]

Jun 13, 2013 16:07:14 GMT -5 Peace Of Mind said:

So yes- if you have a normal family it's a great idea.

   Your SIL is just jealous or cheap because now she has to try to top your gift or she's mad you didn't allow her to go in on it with you so now she has to shop for something AND try to get one as good.   

I was thinking a little less mean, but along these lines.  Getting a family portrait isn't something I would spring on my husband's family.  When we did it, my husband called around, and got everyone on-board, and then purchased it and gave it to them from all of us.  I did almost all the leg work on finding the photographer.  My husband did all the work on family relations, pre-gift.  

[Bob Ross]

Jun 13, 2013 13:18:12 GMT -5 @wrongsideof30 said:

For my MIL's 60th birthday, I was planning on getting her a nice picture frame with a gift certificate inside to a photo studio so at some point we can get a family picture taken. I thought she would like a photo with her kids and their families all together. My mom has a few photo's like this hanging up and the few times that my MIL has been over to my moms, she has commented on how great those photo's are.

Does this seem like a good gift? I'm getting some static from one of my SIL's. She sent me a text asking why I didn't check with the other siblings first before getting this. I didn't pick a date or anything, so I'm not sure what the big deal is.

For my MIL's birthday, I'm gonna get her a nice picture frame with a pic of me giving the wink and the double gun, while shirtless and wearing a bow tie.

It will remind her of why she paid for her daughter's wedding.

[thyme4change]

[Peace Of Mind]

Jun 14, 2013 18:30:55 GMT -5 @wrongsideof30 said:

SIL just called and asked if her and the other siblings can go in on the gift with me. I guess nobody bothered to buy MIL anything. Oh well, at least it doesn't seem like anyone is mad at me. Dh was really unhelpful with this whole situation.

Told you. 

[zibazinski]

From a mom who asked for two Christmases and two mothers days for pics of my kids and FINALLY got them this last Christmas, I can tell you it's the best gift ever! I have nice ones of them together and separate and then I have the funny ones they took. I love them all!

[steff]

I think it's a great gift! 

A few years ago, I realized that there were no pics of my brothers & I together as adults.  I talked my brothers into going up to a town that goes full on Alpine village for the Christmas season & my sis in law took the pics of us.  We blew them up, brought really nice frames & gave my mom 3 different pics of the 3 of us.  She cried...that was our goal...LOL


For Mother's Day last year, my youngest brother had made a new friend who is an artist.  For $20 each, he took front & profile pics of the 3 of us separately & then drew an amazing charcoal sketch of us.  I'm the oldest of the 3, I'm in the middle facing forward. My brothers are each on one side of me in profile.  We again, bought a kick ass frame for it and gave it to her for Mother's Day. 

We figure we're good until we're in our 60's now.