Fashionable gay vs. lesbian mullet

[Deleted]

Good for them! Maybe you can be the "flower boy"! 

[Miss Tequila]

Jun 13, 2013 11:44:38 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

Jun 13, 2013 11:38:42 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

So...are they butch?

I don;t think so.  You might guess that my sister is gay by looking at her, but she is not butch.  Her fiance is not butch, either.  She was actually married to a man before and this is her first lesbian relationship.  

My aunt was also married before (actually she has 2 ex-husbands) and has 3 children.  I can honestly say that those kind of lesbians are the kind I don't understand.  I can understand always knowing you were attracted to the same sex.  but I can't imagine waking up next week and thinking "time for some vajajay"! 

In my aunt's case, both of her exes were very abusive so I don't know if that was a factor (thinking that women were safer)....

Congrats to your sister and her fiance

[Deleted]

Jun 13, 2013 11:53:13 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

Jun 13, 2013 11:44:38 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

I don;t think so.  You might guess that my sister is gay by looking at her, but she is not butch.  Her fiance is not butch, either.  She was actually married to a man before and this is her first lesbian relationship.  

My aunt was also married before (actually she has 2 ex-husbands) and has 3 children.  I can honestly say that those kind of lesbians are the kind I don't understand.  I can understand always knowing you were attracted to the same sex.  but I can't imagine waking up next week and thinking "time for some vajajay"! 

In my aunt's case, both of her exes were very abusive so I don't know if that was a factor (thinking that women were safer)....

Congrats to your sister and her fiance

: )

My sister is sure that my aunt is gay.  I don't think so, but I don't have good gaydar.

[Miss Tequila]

Jun 13, 2013 11:56:29 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

Jun 13, 2013 11:53:13 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

My aunt was also married before (actually she has 2 ex-husbands) and has 3 children.  I can honestly say that those kind of lesbians are the kind I don't understand.  I can understand always knowing you were attracted to the same sex.  but I can't imagine waking up next week and thinking "time for some vajajay"! 

In my aunt's case, both of her exes were very abusive so I don't know if that was a factor (thinking that women were safer)....

Congrats to your sister and her fiance

: )

My sister is sure that my aunt is gay.  I don't think so, but I don't have good gaydar.

Does your aunt have a mullet?

[Tennesseer]

Jun 13, 2013 10:55:15 GMT -5 genericname said:

My brother was a "butch" gay man. He even liked flannel and biker gear. His SO was just a dude. Didn't look one way or the other, just fit in with "normal" wherever he was.

I hang around with a lot of lesbian women (through sports mainly) and there are very few of the "lipstick" variety among that crowd. The couples I know are both very manly in appearance and dress. It could be the region of the country I am in, too. I am generalizing, but I would venture a guess that the "lipstick" variety are more common in urban areas. In the "country" where I am, many women dress "butch" and are very manly in appearance, but are as straight as anyone I know. It just doesn't make sense to be fluffy and girly when you are throwing hay bales and driving a tractor all day long.

genericname-you say your brother "was butch" (past tense). Is your brother no longer with you? If so, my condolences.

[raeoflyte]

Some people are too ashamed of how they feel and instead lead the life that everyone expects them to.

And personally I think a lot more people can swing either way depending on the circumstances.

[Miss Tequila]

Jun 13, 2013 12:10:58 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Some people are too ashamed of how they feel and instead lead the life that everyone expects them to.

And personally I think a lot more people can swing either way depending on the circumstances.

Well sure...with enough tequila anything can happen...errr...at least that's what I've been told

[Deleted]

How YOU doin'?  

[Tennesseer]

Jun 13, 2013 11:53:13 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

Jun 13, 2013 11:44:38 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

I don;t think so.  You might guess that my sister is gay by looking at her, but she is not butch.  Her fiance is not butch, either.  She was actually married to a man before and this is her first lesbian relationship.  

My aunt was also married before (actually she has 2 ex-husbands) and has 3 children.  I can honestly say that those kind of lesbians are the kind I don't understand.  I can understand always knowing you were attracted to the same sex.  but I can't imagine waking up next week and thinking "time for some vajajay"! 

In my aunt's case, both of her exes were very abusive so I don't know if that was a factor (thinking that women were safer)....

Congrats to your sister and her fiance

Societal pressure to conform to 'normal' when she was growing up? What year was she born? The young people of today have grown up knowing their gay friends and family members. For most of them, it's no big deal. Hence the majority of this generation support same-sex marriage.

That's not what it was like growing up for earlier generations. Homosexuality was not discussed. Few gays were open about their sexuality due to the stigma.

[Miss Tequila]

Jun 13, 2013 12:18:22 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Jun 13, 2013 11:53:13 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

My aunt was also married before (actually she has 2 ex-husbands) and has 3 children.  I can honestly say that those kind of lesbians are the kind I don't understand.  I can understand always knowing you were attracted to the same sex.  but I can't imagine waking up next week and thinking "time for some vajajay"! 

In my aunt's case, both of her exes were very abusive so I don't know if that was a factor (thinking that women were safer)....

Congrats to your sister and her fiance

Societal pressure to conform to 'normal' when she was growing up? What year was she born? The young people of today have grown up knowing their gay friends and family members. For most of them, it's no big deal. Hence the majority of this generation support same-sex marriage.

That's not what it was like growing up for earlier generations. Homosexuality was not discussed. Few gays were open about their sexuality due to the stigma.

My family is VERY religious.  My grandmother cried all the time because in her eyes my aunt was committing sin and was going to hell. My mom and her sisters tried an intervention for my aunt (which is kind of funny considering half of my family are drunks and could use interventions of their own!) because clearly she "just needed a good man to fix her".  It wasn't until my aunt got cancer in her mid 30's that my family decided that loving her and her "gay ways" (not my words!) is better than not having her in their lives.

On the flip side, my aunt has my personality and doesn't seem to care what other people think of her.  I'm not sure if she really hid who she really was because of society?  I will have to ask her.  She has been a lesbian as long as I can remember (I have only one memory of her ex and that memory is only one of him being scary) so it isn't something I've ever thought to ask. 

[thyme4change]

My aunt was also married before (actually she has 2 ex-husbands) and has 3 children. I can honestly say that those kind of lesbians are the kind I don't understand. I can understand always knowing you were attracted to the same sex. but I can't imagine waking up next week and thinking "time for some vajajay"!

I met one lady who insisted she wasn't gay, but just loved her girlfriend so much that she would spend her life as gay just to be close to her.  I asked another gay woman that I was close with "Does it work that way?"  And she just shrugged.  So, that was baffling.

[Deleted]

I don't know.  I mean, I'll admit to making out with some of my female friends when I was younger and two girls kissing can be hot, but no amount of that or men being assholes to me will make me want to put my face down there for anything but a penis.

[Deleted]

[Tiny]

Jun 13, 2013 11:20:13 GMT -5 @moneyjenny82 said:

some of us are just philosophically opposed to makeup.

  , in addition to not really wanting total and complete "pizza face" from the irritations/rash/zits that even the most expensive 'hypoallergenic'  'non comedogenic' make up causes.     I'd rather be mistaken for a lesbian than feel like I need to claw off my face by wearing makeup.     
 

[Tiny]

Jun 13, 2013 11:53:13 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

Jun 13, 2013 11:44:38 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

I don;t think so.  You might guess that my sister is gay by looking at her, but she is not butch.  Her fiance is not butch, either.  She was actually married to a man before and this is her first lesbian relationship.  

My aunt was also married before (actually she has 2 ex-husbands) and has 3 children.  I can honestly say that those kind of lesbians are the kind I don't understand.  I can understand always knowing you were attracted to the same sex.  but I can't imagine waking up next week and thinking "time for some vajajay"! 

In my aunt's case, both of her exes were very abusive so I don't know if that was a factor (thinking that women were safer)....

Congrats to your sister and her fiance

Um, it's only been recent times where a same sex couple could actually, maybe, be a couple in public OR even within ones family...   The "natural order" of things has long been people are born to get married and raise a family/produce an heir.  
Why do you think single people are constantly harrassed with the question of "who are you dating? when are you getting married?"  and childless married couples get constantly harrassed by "when are you going to have kids"?    It's hard to buck the system and to maybe not live up to one's families (or societies) expectations.
 
There are plenty of gays/lesbians married to 'straights'  - that's what happens when the cultural/societal expectations are "male/female marriage" and being "married" is the expected life route for everyone...  

[Miss Tequila]

Jun 13, 2013 13:10:22 GMT -5 Tiny said:

Jun 13, 2013 11:20:13 GMT -5 @moneyjenny82 said:

some of us are just philosophically opposed to makeup.

  , in addition to not really wanting total and complete "pizza face" from the irritations/rash/zits that even the most expensive 'hypoallergenic'  'non comedogenic' make up causes.     I'd rather be mistaken for a lesbian than feel like I need to claw off my face by wearing makeup.     
 

If you are mistaken for a lesbian, I highly doubt your lack of make-up is the cause...are you a fan of flannels and mullets?

[Tiny]

Jun 13, 2013 13:15:40 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

Jun 13, 2013 13:10:22 GMT -5 Tiny said:

  , in addition to not really wanting total and complete "pizza face" from the irritations/rash/zits that even the most expensive 'hypoallergenic'  'non comedogenic' make up causes.     I'd rather be mistaken for a lesbian than feel like I need to claw off my face by wearing makeup.     
 

If you are mistaken for a lesbian, I highly doubt your lack of make-up is the cause...are you a fan of flannels and mullets?

I am a fan of flannels - and I try to avoid having a mullet.   I also don't have many 'girly interests' - I could care less about fashion and accessories, I do not have a maternal bone in my body,  While I'm not into sports, I am into cars and DIY handyman kinds of things (I love powertools!),  and I have the foolish notion that having a husband is equivalent to having a millstone around your neck. I'm perfectly OK with having male lovers (usually the kind i wouldn't introduce to my friends or family).   

[Miss Tequila]

Jun 13, 2013 13:21:14 GMT -5 Tiny said:

Jun 13, 2013 13:15:40 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

If you are mistaken for a lesbian, I highly doubt your lack of make-up is the cause...are you a fan of flannels and mullets?

I am a fan of flannels - and I try to avoid having a mullet.   I also don't have many 'girly interests' - I could care less about fashion and accessories, I do not have a maternal bone in my body,  While I'm not into sports, I am into cars and DIY handyman kinds of things (I love powertools!),  and I have the foolish notion that having a husband is equivalent to having a millstone around your neck. I'm perfectly OK with having male lovers (usually the kind i wouldn't introduce to my friends or family).   

Is your name Pat?

[busymom]

Aw, don't pick on Tiny Speck for wearing flannel.  I'm betting she's a Midwesterner.  Nothing unusual to see a woman layer up here in the winter.  Turtleneck & flannel is normal when the temps outdoors are -30.  When DH & I were first married, I'd borrow one of his flannel shirts if I was going to be outside "shoveling out" the car. 

[Miss Tequila]

Jun 13, 2013 13:31:13 GMT -5 busymom said:

Aw, don't pick on Tiny Speck for wearing flannel.  I'm betting she's a Midwesterner.  Nothing unusual to see a woman layer up here in the winter.  Turtleneck & flannel is normal when the temps outdoors are -30.  When DH & I were first married, I'd borrow one of his flannel shirts if I was going to be outside "shoveling out" the car. 

LOL..I'm only teasing with everyone...unless she sports a mullet, then I'm totally picking on her!

[swamp]

I like flannel and don't wear makeup. My I also like penises. I think I'm confused

[zibazinski]

My aunt says Grand Rapids reminds her of Australia. The women there were more manly than the men! All the women I know that look remotely feminine came from somewhere else!

[busymom]

Zib:  LOL!  Did she mean Grand Rapids, Minnesota, or Grand Rapids, Michigan?  (People probably dress about the same in both towns.) 


Miss T:  I haven't seen more than a mullet or 2 in quite awhile, but I hear they're making a comeback in England & Ireland. 

[Queen of Interesting Nuts]

I don't wear make up but hate flannels, but I was a lesbian when I was younger.

[mamasita99]

Just to add my experience:
I'm in a long term relationship with a woman and I was previously married to a man, and have children.  I married in my early 20s and just pushed away feelings towards the same sex because I didn't want to admit it, I didn't want to deal with the stigma, letting people down, etc.

When I met my current girlfriend I was older and felt more confident to be myself. Mostly I had to admit it to myself first. It's scary to have a major attraction to someone of the same sex when you have spent your entire life being involved with men. Now I feel that as long as my kids are happy and well cared for, I can love whomever I choose.  I'm a law abiding citizen and upstanding member of society, and I don't have a mullet. I wear heels and dresses but still can't pull an outfit together like my gay guy friends. 

[Miss Tequila]

Jun 14, 2013 5:06:57 GMT -5 mamasita99 said:

Just to add my experience:
I'm in a long term relationship with a woman and I was previously married to a man, and have children.  I married in my early 20s and just pushed away feelings towards the same sex because I didn't want to admit it, I didn't want to deal with the stigma, letting people down, etc.

When I met my current girlfriend I was older and felt more confident to be myself. Mostly I had to admit it to myself first. It's scary to have a major attraction to someone of the same sex when you have spent your entire life being involved with men. Now I feel that as long as my kids are happy and well cared for, I can love whomever I choose.  I'm a law abiding citizen and upstanding member of society, and I don't have a mullet. I wear heels and dresses but still can't pull an outfit together like my gay guy friends. 

Thank you for sharing your experience.

And you have it made...several gay guy friends to take shopping!! :-p

[zibazinski]

No kidding. Use that great talent for yourself! What are friends for anyway?

[Miss Tequila]

Jun 14, 2013 8:43:21 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

No kidding. Use that great talent for yourself! What are friends for anyway?

Right?!?!lol  I always joke that I need to find my gays (in a Kathy Griffen kind of way)...I am ok wtih clothing, shoes, etc but need a gay guy friend to help me decorate my house!

[thyme4change]

Ain't nothing wrong with a little flannel

[wvugurl26]

I was at the mall in December and there were several guys much better dressed than I was. The guy at Sephora had on more makeup than I did.