Too much communication - too many emails!

[thyme4change]

Are we really in the golden age of communication?  Or are we getting so much information it is impossible to process it all.

My daughter is starting a new school in the fall.  This school is a charter, and known for having parents with high expectations.  I'm happy, because I think she will get a good education there.  But holy pajamas - they send out these long emails twice a week.  I can't even get through them.  Half the time I have no idea what they are talking about (because I don't know all the lingo yet.)  So, I give up and just don't read them.

This weekend, someone said "Did you buy the books for required reading?"  WHAT?  I didn't know there was required reading.  It was in the 4th paragraph of the third email they sent 3 weeks ago.

Seriously, I'm sure that I should be involved and care and what-not - but I am overwhelmed.

Do you have an organization that over-communicates?  How do you get through the information?

[Queen of Interesting Nuts]

I will be your personal secretary. Send them to me and I will send the meat of the email back for you.

[milee]

Yep.  My boys are at a magnet type school, I'm guessing similar in many ways to the one you're describing.  Assuming yours starts with a B, but maybe there are more now.

Anyway, these schools seem to assume that attending the school is a whole family affair.  Both parents are assumed to be spending 1-2 hours a night on school stuff (from homework to managing communication, getting supplies, reviewing agenda book which must be signed every night, checking all class websites daily for updates and info, etc.)  Oh, and this is in addition to the year 'round high pressure, high $$$ PTA activities and fundraisers.  The fundraisers for a single semester last year included, but were not limited to, a $300 a ticket formal event with silent auction, general fair where it was tough to get out for less than $25-$30 a person, school spirit clothing sales, over $100 in fees for various field trips, direct solicitation to sponsor buying school supplies for needy kids, requests underwrite the back to school lunch, 2 dances/socials and various other fundraisers by the clubs.  The PTA events include monthly meetings, twice a month education talks (some of which have been actually pretty good), regular school volunteering, etc.

It's crazy and - SLACKER MOM ALERT - I don't do it. 

I do my best and figure that this is part of how my kids are going to have to figure out how to function independently.  If they need me to stand over them and check that each assignment is done nightly or that they get a specific form signed, then they shouldn't be at this magnet school for high achievers - they just don't have the skills. 

In the beginning it was a big transition for the whole family, and the boys did sometimes fail to get something done but after suffering through a few consequences (including one missed field trip because the permission forms didn't make it to me so I could sign them), they've pulled their act together and now do their own monitoring.  And yes, I'm sure the rest of the full time PTA moms think I'm a slacker.  I don't care.  

[dannylion]

Sounds like those e-mails need to have an "action items" section where information such as required reading and similar information is consolidated.  Maybe you could suggest it to whomever it is who composes the e-mail.  Unfortunately, if he/she is among the vast number of people who never learn how to organize written communications, it might fall on deaf ears. 

[sapphire12]

Maybe try scanning the emails instead of reading them to see if pertinent information stands out.

I also agree with dannylion in that sometimes people don't realize they are too wordy and need help separating the action items from the "noise".

[Deleted]

What, you don't have a personal assistant to take care of this stuff for you?

I find it easier to deal with long communications in print, so I just print & then I can scan.  I used to spend a couple hours a night with my kids reading the materials they brought home or coaching them on math/science (since for some reason their teachers were not skilled in those subjects).  

Tell me, Why exactly do we need "New Math" about every 5 years?  I'm perfectly happy with the math Galileo & Pythagoras used.  It makes me nuts to have to re-learn how to do math every time the school adopts some new crack-pot way of teaching.

[archrival]

Jun 9, 2013 13:03:41 GMT -5 milee said:

Yep.  My boys are at a magnet type school, I'm guessing similar in many ways to the one you're describing.  Assuming yours starts with a B, but maybe there are more now.

Anyway, these schools seem to assume that attending the school is a whole family affair.  Both parents are assumed to be spending 1-2 hours a night on school stuff (from homework to managing communication, getting supplies, reviewing agenda book which must be signed every night, checking all class websites daily for updates and info, etc.)  Oh, and this is in addition to the year 'round high pressure, high $$$ PTA activities and fundraisers.  The fundraisers for a single semester last year included, but were not limited to, a $300 a ticket formal event with silent auction, general fair where it was tough to get out for less than $25-$30 a person, school spirit clothing sales, over $100 in fees for various field trips, direct solicitation to sponsor buying school supplies for needy kids, requests underwrite the back to school lunch, 2 dances/socials and various other fundraisers by the clubs.  The PTA events include monthly meetings, twice a month education talks (some of which have been actually pretty good), regular school volunteering, etc.

It's crazy and - SLACKER MOM ALERT - I don't do it. 

I do my best and figure that this is part of how my kids are going to have to figure out how to function independently.  If they need me to stand over them and check that each assignment is done nightly or that they get a specific form signed, then they shouldn't be at this magnet school for high achievers - they just don't have the skills. 

In the beginning it was a big transition for the whole family, and the boys did sometimes fail to get something done but after suffering through a few consequences (including one missed field trip because the permission forms didn't make it to me so I could sign them), they've pulled their act together and now do their own monitoring.  And yes, I'm sure the rest of the full time PTA moms think I'm a slacker.  I don't care.  

How interesting, I know a parent just like you.

They have an attitude where they don't care about their child's education.  Which is fine and dandy, but when it starts affecting other people and the school, maybe they should care just a little bit more.

It's funny cause so many people want to live in a good school district, and they do live in a good school district, yet they don't want to put in an effort to keep and continue to make their school a success.

What makes a school a good school?  It's a combination of encouraging teachers, smart students, and yes, the support of the parents.  People can't expect to schlep their child to a school and have miraculous things happen without some effort from their part.

So, yes it is a family affair to encourage your kids to succeed in school.  And if you don't care, and other parents don't care, then really, a good magnet school will no longer be a good magnet school, but will deteriorate to an average school where nobody cares.

[swamp]

They have an attitude where they don't care about their child's education. Which is fine and dandy, but when it starts affecting other people and the school, maybe they should care just a little bit more.

I think milee cares about her kids' education, she just won't micromanage it.  I agree with her. 

[Rocky Mtn Saver]

Jun 10, 2013 10:54:54 GMT -5 archrival said:

Jun 9, 2013 13:03:41 GMT -5 milee said:

Yep.  My boys are at a magnet type school, I'm guessing similar in many ways to the one you're describing.  Assuming yours starts with a B, but maybe there are more now.

Anyway, these schools seem to assume that attending the school is a whole family affair.  Both parents are assumed to be spending 1-2 hours a night on school stuff (from homework to managing communication, getting supplies, reviewing agenda book which must be signed every night, checking all class websites daily for updates and info, etc.)  Oh, and this is in addition to the year 'round high pressure, high $$$ PTA activities and fundraisers.  The fundraisers for a single semester last year included, but were not limited to, a $300 a ticket formal event with silent auction, general fair where it was tough to get out for less than $25-$30 a person, school spirit clothing sales, over $100 in fees for various field trips, direct solicitation to sponsor buying school supplies for needy kids, requests underwrite the back to school lunch, 2 dances/socials and various other fundraisers by the clubs.  The PTA events include monthly meetings, twice a month education talks (some of which have been actually pretty good), regular school volunteering, etc.

It's crazy and - SLACKER MOM ALERT - I don't do it. 

I do my best and figure that this is part of how my kids are going to have to figure out how to function independently.  If they need me to stand over them and check that each assignment is done nightly or that they get a specific form signed, then they shouldn't be at this magnet school for high achievers - they just don't have the skills. 

In the beginning it was a big transition for the whole family, and the boys did sometimes fail to get something done but after suffering through a few consequences (including one missed field trip because the permission forms didn't make it to me so I could sign them), they've pulled their act together and now do their own monitoring.  And yes, I'm sure the rest of the full time PTA moms think I'm a slacker.  I don't care.  

How interesting, I know a parent just like you.

They have an attitude where they don't care about their child's education. ; Which is fine and dandy, but when it starts affecting other people and the school, maybe they should care just a little bit more.

It's funny cause so many people want to live in a good school district, and they do live in a good school district, yet they don't want to put in an effort to keep and continue to make their school a success.

What makes a school a good school?  It's a combination of encouraging teachers, smart students, and yes, the support of the parents.  People can't expect to schlep their child to a school and have miraculous things happen without some effort from their part.

So, yes it is a family affair to encourage your kids to succeed in school.  And if you don't care, and other parents don't care, then really, a good magnet school will no longer be a good magnet school, but will deteriorate to an average school where nobody cares.

Wow, way to be judgemental about someone else's parenting style! Just because a parent chooses not to spend every waking hour hovering over their child, and encourages that child to be somewhat responsible for themselves, you assume that they don't care about their child's education?? That's kinda rude, I think.

[midjd]

Maybe if you hit Reply All and respond "TL;DR" they'll get the message. But probably a bad idea. 

[thyme4change]

milee - The school doesn't start with a B.  There are bunches of charter schools where we live, each with their own flavor.  I know the money will start soon.  They already told me the amount per student between what they spend and what they get from the state, and asked if I would donate it.  I said I would write a check, but that doesn't seem to stop the fundraising requests.  I guess I have to cover my kid, as well as cover everyone else's shortfall.  But, whatever, it isn't even that.  I would love to see some "action items" but alas, just paragraph after paragraph of whatever.  I printed out the last email and gave it to my husband.  I told him to figure out what it said.  Guess what - they are offering a class this summer for a mere $300, so kids won't be behind when they start 5th grade.  Boo!  Not going to happen.

The funniest part is that during orientation they made a big deal about each kid needs to get their own email account because they discourage parents from getting in the middle of the education process.  Kids need to learn to communicate on their own, and use email and other forms of communication to deal with the school without help from their parents.  This creates a better, more independent, more functional child.  And then they send me 27 x 3 page emails.  

[swamp]

The funniest part is that during orientation they made a big deal about each kid needs to get their own email account because they discourage parents from getting in the middle of the education process. 

I hope they don't send 3 page emails to the kids because I'm pretty sure a 10 year old won't be reading it.

[archrival]

Jun 10, 2013 10:59:33 GMT -5 Rocky Mtn Saver said:

Jun 10, 2013 10:54:54 GMT -5 archrival said:

How interesting, I know a parent just like you.

They have an attitude where they don't care about their child's education. ; Which is fine and dandy, but when it starts affecting other people and the school, maybe they should care just a little bit more.

It's funny cause so many people want to live in a good school district, and they do live in a good school district, yet they don't want to put in an effort to keep and continue to make their school a success.

What makes a school a good school?  It's a combination of encouraging teachers, smart students, and yes, the support of the parents.  People can't expect to schlep their child to a school and have miraculous things happen without some effort from their part.

So, yes it is a family affair to encourage your kids to succeed in school.  And if you don't care, and other parents don't care, then really, a good magnet school will no longer be a good magnet school, but will deteriorate to an average school where nobody cares.

Wow, way to be judgemental about someone else's parenting style! Just because a parent chooses not to spend every waking hour hovering over their child, and encourages that child to be somewhat responsible for themselves, you assume that they don't care about their child's education?? That's kinda rude, I think.

Really, you are going to harp on one line item?

This is not about spending every waking hour hovering over their child.  It's impossible to do that and you know this.

But it's about putting in enough effort to ensure that your child can be successful in school.  You can't just have drop your kids off at school and expect miraculous things to happen.  Some kids may need a little bit of effort, while other kids may need more effort.  Nothing wrong with that.

[swamp]

But it's about putting in enough effort to ensure that your child can be successful in school. You can't just have drop your kids off at school and expect miraculous things to happen. Some kids may need a little bit of effort, while other kids may need more effort. Nothing wrong with that. 

There is a happy medium between just dropping them off and spending 2 hours a night working with the kids on school projects and issues. 

[Rocky Mtn Saver]

Jun 10, 2013 11:10:17 GMT -5 archrival said:

Jun 10, 2013 10:59:33 GMT -5 Rocky Mtn Saver said:

Wow, way to be judgemental about someone else's parenting style! Just because a parent chooses not to spend every waking hour hovering over their child, and encourages that child to be somewhat responsible for themselves, you assume that they don't care about their child's education?? That's kinda rude, I think.

Really, you are going to harp on one line item?

This is not about spending every waking hour hovering over their child.  It's impossible to do that and you know this.

But it's about putting in enough effort to ensure that your child can be successful in school.  You can't just have drop your kids off at school and expect miraculous things to happen.  Some kids may need a little bit of effort, while other kids may need more effort.  Nothing wrong with that.

Nothing in milee's description indicated that she doesn't put in enough effort to ensure her kids are successful in both school and life.  But you assume that if she's not doing everything the school demands and that you seem to expect, that she doesn't care.  Those are your words, so I'm not harping on anything.  I'm saying you're assuming a lot about the parent/child relationship of people you don't know.

[archrival]

Jun 10, 2013 10:58:37 GMT -5 swamp said:

They have an attitude where they don't care about their child's education. Which is fine and dandy, but when it starts affecting other people and the school, maybe they should care just a little bit more.

I think milee cares about her kids' education, she just won't micromanage it.  I agree with her. 

I don't want to single milee out, but she's the one that said that she's a slacker and she don't care.

How else should one interpret this?

[swamp]

Jun 10, 2013 11:15:05 GMT -5 archrival said:

Jun 10, 2013 10:58:37 GMT -5 swamp said:

I think milee cares about her kids' education, she just won't micromanage it.  I agree with her. 

I don't want to single milee out, but she's the one that said that she's a slacker and she don't care.

How else should one interpret this?

with a grain of salt. 

[Rocky Mtn Saver]

Jun 10, 2013 11:15:05 GMT -5 archrival said:

Jun 10, 2013 10:58:37 GMT -5 swamp said:

I think milee cares about her kids' education, she just won't micromanage it.  I agree with her. 

I don't want to single milee out, but she's the one that said that she's a slacker and she don't care.

How else should one interpret this?

She said that the other PTA moms would think she's a slacker, and that she didn't care what they think.  Not that she is one, but that there is a perception. 


ETA:  I'd also like to point out that your judgemental response proves her point, too. 

[thyme4change]

For the record, I'm not complaining about the school work - at least not yet.  

I'm complaining about the quality and amount of information they send.  

My secondary complaint is the fundraising.  

I'm not looking forward to being part of this school.  So far, it is very pretentious.  And the parents are all zombies.  It is a total "drink the Kool-Aid" situation.  I think if you say one bad thing they take you in a room and beat you with a baseball bat - because seriously, if you question ANYTHING, all the current parents get a terrified look on their face and get as far away from you as possible.  

[Deleted]

Well, if she literally didn't care then she wouldn't have even put forth the effort to type up her response, right?

So, "I" interpreted it as explaining to thyme that these charter schools missives (we don't have charters here in the 'burbs) are pretty common and then she told us all a little anecdote. 

[swamp]

Jun 10, 2013 11:17:12 GMT -5 Rocky Mtn Saver said:

Jun 10, 2013 11:15:05 GMT -5 archrival said:

I don't want to single milee out, but she's the one that said that she's a slacker and she don't care.

How else should one interpret this?

She said that the other PTA moms would think she's a slacker, and that she didn't care what they think.  Not that she is one, but that there is a perception. 

I'm sure some of the PTA moms think I'm a slacker too.  They can think whatever they want.  I think a good number of them are helicopter parents who need to get a life.   

[archrival]

Jun 10, 2013 11:17:12 GMT -5 Rocky Mtn Saver said:

Jun 10, 2013 11:15:05 GMT -5 archrival said:

I don't want to single milee out, but she's the one that said that she's a slacker and she don't care.

How else should one interpret this?

She said that the other PTA moms would think she's a slacker, and that she didn't care what they think.  Not that she is one, but that there is a perception. 

Did you miss where she wrote "It's crazy and - SLACKER MOM ALERT - I don't do it."

I really don't want to argue whether milee is a slacker mom or not, I was just responding to her writing.

Maybe I interpreted it incorrectly, but when some says SLACKER MOM ALERT, you would think they are referring to themselves?

[Rocky Mtn Saver]

Perhaps you missed this part:

"And yes, I'm sure the rest of the full time PTA moms think I'm a slacker. I don't care."

That context explains her 'slacker mom alert' comment.  She was speaking of perception, not reality.  The 'I don't care' part is in reference to what the helicopter parents think of her parenting style. 

[Deleted]

I believe there are different levels to Slacking, so I am SURE we interpreted things differently. 

[thyme4change]

I find that when I get too involved with the kids' homework, it often backfires.  If the teacher is going down a certain path, and then I come in and try to explain it another way - my kids just get confused.  It was especially bad with math, because they do the groupings and I carry the one.  Plus, I'm horrible at explaining stuff.  I doubt the whole school will crumble because my child's science experiment didn't have the correct number of data points or whatever.  

I'm not exactly sure what I have to do to keep the school afloat.  Isn't writing a check to cover all their expenses enough?  After all, it is a public school, but they are charging me tuition.  Do I also have to do all my kid's homework, and raise additional funds, and volunteer in the lunch room, and everything else?

[Deleted]

Perusing informational emails instead of committing them to memory is a Venial Slack at best. 

[thyme4change]

I need to take a speed reading class.  Are there any legitimate speed reading classes?  They all seem somewhat info-mercially to me, but I once read an interview with Sandra Day O'Connor who said that she took a speed reading class and that made her a better lawyer.  So, there must be some legitimate class out there.  

[Phoenix84]

Wow, I don't have kids, but there's no way I'd spend all that time on all that stuff. 

[midjd]

I don't know about legitimate classes, but I've heard that training your eye to pause at two or three distinct spots per line of text is the secret to quick reading. I think the idea is that even when you're focused on one word, you can see the 10 or so words surrounding it, so it's easier to pause at two words per sentence and let the other words sneak in through your peripheral vision than to try to focus on each actual word.

[raeoflyte]

I took one at the community college and really liked it. It was basically teaching you the technique that mid posted.