Cancer Support Thread

[jeep108]

Dad's PET scan came back, he only has the cancer in his esophagus and heart.  Both have dbl in size since the CT scan was done almost a month ago.  The tumor in the esophagus takes up 3/4 of his chest and is putting pressure on his heart.  They said if he doesn't try chemo and radiation he has two months.  Which I was confused on because his other doctor said his lungs from the COPD would not be able to handle the radiation.   Either way, I think my time is limited with my dad.  Tried again to talk my mom into calling hospice and she is refusing.

[mmhmm]

Oh, jeep, what awful news!  I'm so very, very sorry.  Sometimes, it's really hard for a loving family member to accept the idea of hospice.  See if you can get the help of your dad's doctor, the hospital social work staff, and good close friends and family to try to help your mom cope with the fear of loss and the lack of control.  Having lived with it myself, and living with it now, I do understand - and I've got the education to know exactly what's going on and what's going to go on.  Still, it hurts and it's very hard to get a handle on.  My heart goes out to all of you.

[mmhmm]

Jul 16, 2013 8:18:05 GMT -5 sesfw said:

Jeep .... what is the latest with your dad?  Hope he is feeling better.

I had an interesting day yesterday.  My blood work came back low and they can't give me more chemo until it comes back up.  Don't know if it's psychological but I feel so much better not having it.  It's just radiation for this week.

Three more weeks ...... YEA!!

It's not only psychological, sesfw, but that's certainly a part of it.  The chemo does have an effect on your body and it can really drag you down over the long haul.  That, coupled with the need to present yourself for it according to schedule, is psychologically grueling.  Heck, just having something growing in your body that you didn't invite in is grueling!  Enjoy the week off!

[sesfw]

(((((( Jeep )))))))))))   I'm so very sorry.  Spend as much time with your parents as you can.  This time will never come again.  I do understand the kick in gut fear your mom is dealing with.  All you can do is just be there ..... and hold their hands.

It's a feeling of love you will never forget.

[taz157]

jeep - I'm so sorry. I hope your mom will finally relent and contact hospice. Spend as much time with your dad as you can and with your mom to help her too. (((((hugs)))))

[Jaguar]

[sesfw]

I need to scream for a minute.

Got a phone call from son-in-law yesterday (Friday) morning.  DD had emergency surgery the night before (Thursday).  She has had several bouts with colitis in prior years and this time she let it go too long.  She had severe blockage in her colon and they had to remove all the scar tissue, so now she has a DOP (damn ostomy pouch) like I do.  She is in ICU for the next couple of days and I called this morning.  She is feeling better.  Has taken short walks and even brushed her teeth today.

DH came home from his bike ride this morning and he tried to sneak in the house without me seeing him.  He slid on some loose gravel and over he went.  Sure glad for his bike helmet.  He has an abrasion on his forehead, his glasses cut into the bridge of his nose, and both knees are scraped.  The cut on his nose really needs a stitch but he says no.  I refuse to argue with him.

Kitty still has bladder and urine problems ........... and I still have this stinkin' diarrhea.

Stop the world, I want to get off.      

[taz157]

I'm sorry sesfw. Vent away!

[mmhmm]

Oh, dear, sesfw!  Your plate is a bit too full!  Sorry to hear about DH's accident.  If he won't have it taken care of, tell him to take a piece of adhesive tape, twist it to form a narrow portion in the middle with wide portions on each end, and use that to butterfly the nose wound closed.  Stick one end of the tape on the skin adjacent to the wound and pull it tightly across the wound with the narrow part on top of the wound.  When the wound is closed, tape the other end down.  Leave that on for a few days until the wound closes.  That way, it will leave less of a scar.

Sorry about DD, as well.  Hopefully, her DOS will be temporary.  They're a PITA, but are sometimes necessary.  Hang in there, both of ya!  You and poor kitty, too!

[Jaguar]

Virtual Hugs, that's all I can offer.

[autoguy]

Jeep, I'm thinking of you and your family. Hospice is probably a big step for your mother psychologically. If your father does chemo and radiation, I don't think they will do hospice at the same time.

Sesfw, that's a lot to have going on all at once. The only positive is that the chemo break will give you time to gain some strength. I wishing you and your family the best.

[jeep108]

Dad had his first chemo session on Thursday.  He was OK Friday, just tired.  Saturday, he ran a fever all day and night, no energy and just wiped out. He goes today to get his blood work done for this Thursday's chemo.  He also goes to get tattooed for radiation .  I think he starts radiation tomorrow.  So radiation will be everyday for 15 mins. and he'll go to chemo on Thursdays.  My poor mom won't let anyone help her.  I guess this is her way of dealing with him being sick. She's so tired.  I do what I can.  Whatever I feel she'll let me do I step in and do.  It's a balancing act with her though.

[jeep108]

Sesfw, Hope you and your family are feeling better.  

[sesfw]

Thank you Jeep, we are getting better.

If possible go with them when they have treatments, just to hold your mom's hand.  She is trying to build as many memories as possible.  Encourage your mom to lay down with your dad.  If she doesn't want to do that, just sit with her and ask about their life together. When your dad is feeling a little better, take a few candid pictures of them. My chemo sessions last 3-4 hours and I'm allowed one person in with me.  Although they do have a separate room where more visitors can be.  Ask at the nurses station.

Some people bring laptops, games, books, or sleep.  It's pretty boring.  I like to talk so some of us start comparing life experiences.  Really interesting people.  After my first session I spent the next 2 days laying down.  Totally wiped me out.

I have a tattoo dot at each hip joint and that is where I'm lined up with the radiation machine.  Radiation for me lasts about 15 minutes and DH just waits in the lobby and studies or talks to whoever is there with him.   You can wait with your mom and go in when he sees a Dr.  Another set of ears would be a great help, especially with your mom being upset.  Take a notebook and write down information.

Take a deep breath and take it one day at a time.

Mega-hugs to you and family.

[mmhmm]

I find my thoughts stray often to each of you, your families, and what you're all going through.  There's nothing I can say, or do to make it all go away.  I know you probably feel the same way.  Reminds me a little of the old "Bewitched" TV show.  If I could just wiggle my nose the right way, everything would suddenly be right.  Unfortunately, that's not the way it is in the real world.  Pity, that.

Hugs to all. 

[Jaguar]

I so agree with your post mmhmm. If I could hug each and take this pain away I would.

[jeep108]

So dad said last night that he's not sure the chemo is worth it.  He's been throwing up and it causes him more pain when he does.  We had to give him a higher dosage of pain meds to help him deal with the pain.   They are suppose to talk to the nurse or doctor today when he goes in for his chemo treatment. Not sure if he wants to try radiation now or not.  Mom is talking hospice now.  So I guess I'll find out more after the appointment he has this morning.  I just would like him to be as comfortable as we can get him for his last few weeks or months that he has and not have to suffer.

[mmhmm]

I'm so sorry about your dad, jeep.  Chemo is tough, and a lot harder on some people than on others.  It's good your mom is recognizing how much hospice can help.  It's got to be your dad's decision.  If he decides not to continue, your mom, you, and all others who love your dad will be very glad hospice is there for him, and for all of you.  You're all in my thoughts every day.

[jeep108]

Well I bought dad his ice cream cake last night for his 63rd birthday.  He decided not to go along with anymore treatments.  My mom called hospice yesterday.  They came out and gave him some liquid morphine and other drugs.  He got some really good rest from it.  We had a really good talk, he knows we love him and he loves us.  He's just tired of the pain.  So at least he will be comfortable to the end.  

[Jaguar]

My thoughts are with you jeep. I wish your beloved dad lots of healing peace.

[taz157]

Jul 26, 2013 13:28:50 GMT -5 Jaguar said:

My thoughts are with you jeep. I wish your beloved dad lots of healing peace.

Yeah that. (((((hugs)))))

[mmhmm]

My very best to your dad, to you, to your mom, and to all those who love this man.  He fought the good fight, but he's tired. I'm so glad he's out of pain and can rest.  Lean on the hospice people, jeep, and tell your mom to do the same.  That's what they're there for, and they're very, very good at what they do.  They'll have the answers when you need/want them, and the comfort when that's needed.  My thoughts are with you.

[jeep108]

Thanks for giving me a place to write things out and process.

[Jaguar]

Yeah hon come here when you need to post, were always here.

[sesfw]

((((((( jeep ))))))))
 
mega-hugs to you and  your family

Being able to rest and sleep without pain is healing mentally.

Ice cream cake sounds yummy .............

[Jaguar]

Jeep and sesfw any news ?

[sesfw]

Today is my last radiation treatment.  Out of the 6 weeks, these last two have been miserable.  Diarrhea that won't quit.  I've dropped 20 lbs since May, got on the scale this morning and I weigh 110.  Haven't weighed that little since jr high.  Very few things I can eat because of cramping so bad.  I've even resorted to instant mashed potatoes to try to plug things up.  Iffy at best.  I still can't taste anything so I call the potatoes .... potato paste.  Forcing protein down me is a trick.  No fiber at all, no seeded anything, and fruits have to be peeled.  I spent a lot of time lying down, no energy.

The Dr said the diarrhea is from the radiation across the pelvic area.  Intestines don't like anything messing with them and this is their method of complaining.  Everything is very irritated but I haven't had any bleeding ..... and I'm grateful for that.  I should start feeling a little better each day, and by day 10 I should be getting better exponentially.  Takes that much time for all this poison to get out of my system.

Yesterday I got rid of, permanently, the chemo pump with the 5FU.  My last visit for chemo and we took an 'edible arrangement' for the nurses station.  I told them at the beginning I would do this at the end ......... and baby, this is the end.  LOL

Thank you for asking.

Jeep ......... how is your dad .... you .... family doing?

[mmhmm]

Congratulations on completing your treatment, sesfw!  I know you're glad to have that ordeal finished and done!  Yay! 

[jeep108]

Dad has some good and bad days.  He spent three days in bed.  Mom said that he did get up yesterday for a couple of hours.  He's only drinking Ensures now, not much solid food.  They switched him to time release morphine in pill form along with nausea pills which have seemed to help him.The nurse came yesterday and his blood pressure was low.  Trying to keep him as comfortable as possible.  One day at a time.

[Jaguar]