Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on May 10, 2013 16:46:52 GMT -5
Embattled CEO and plastic surgery survivor Mike Jeffries stated at a press conference on Thursday that in addition to fat people and ugly people, "[Abercrombie & Fitch] absolutely, positively does not want booze-happy women wearing our clothing."
Jeffries made the comment in response to a question about the fairness of his company's exclusionary policies. Speaking candidly, Jeffries told reporters:
"It's not just fat people that disgust me. Boozers are another group. All across America, you'll find enclaves of booze-happy women who hit the juice and then chat like moonstruck parrots in online communities. And always, always, under a dozen wine stains, a rolling sea of muffin top, puddles of vomit floating in vodka, and melted bits of Hershey's candy bar, you'll find Abercrombie jeans and tube tops. It's like wrapping a booze-soaked lump of cookie dough in wrapping paper and having the goo squish out the sides. We didn't ask for it. We don't want it. It's got to stop."
When asked how he was aware of any such enclaves, Jeffries admitted:
"I visited one for a while. I flirted. It was nothing but booze, people worshiping me, and jokes about blow-up dolls. And I want it to be clear to everyone here that when I left I had the highest 'karma' of anybody. Anyone who says otherwise is a fat, ugly liar."
Jeffries did not provide an explanation for his comments, although when asked about why he hated drunkenness specifically, reporters closest to the podium claimed that he muttered the word "surgeon". Jeffries was not available for comment Friday.
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on May 10, 2013 16:50:54 GMT -5
link? ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/raspberries.png)
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Jaguar
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Post by Jaguar on May 10, 2013 16:51:02 GMT -5
Oh for the love of all our insanity, can we just ban any and all mention of this twits name for three years. ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/miserable.png)
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damnotagain
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Post by damnotagain on May 10, 2013 16:57:42 GMT -5
I see no use for boozed up women wearing clothing either!
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on May 10, 2013 17:16:35 GMT -5
The man has class. You can't deny that. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/cool.png)
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mmhmm
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It's a great pity the right of free speech isn't based on the obligation to say something sensible.
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Post by mmhmm on May 10, 2013 17:20:20 GMT -5
I do so hope Mr. Jeffries doesn't have minions combing the internet to find out what's being said about him! ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/shocked.gif)
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on May 10, 2013 17:21:17 GMT -5
The man has class. You can't deny that. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/cool.png) Sure... and the class he has would be "Low".
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on May 10, 2013 17:33:35 GMT -5
I do so hope Mr. Jeffries doesn't have minions combing the internet to find out what's being said about him! ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/shocked.gif) I don't. he's an ass, and it's time someone actually told him so. since all his pretty "yes men" don't have the balls to do it, I guess that task falls to all of us out on the scary interwebs.
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mmhmm
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It's a great pity the right of free speech isn't based on the obligation to say something sensible.
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Post by mmhmm on May 10, 2013 17:34:57 GMT -5
Noooo! I don't want that ugly man in here throwing darts at our drunken revelers, and I don't care what the clod is wearing! ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/angry.png)
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on May 10, 2013 17:38:26 GMT -5
"plastic surgery survivor" ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/rofl.gif) How can you tell he survived? He looks dead to me. ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/tongue2.png) I also wonder how he knows what goes on in his stores since they don't allow ugly people in them? I guess he trusts his staff members to tell him.
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Robert not Bobby
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Post by Robert not Bobby on May 10, 2013 17:45:57 GMT -5
Embattled CEO and plastic surgery survivor Mike Jeffries stated at a press conference on Thursday that in addition to fat people and ugly people, "[Abercrombie & Fitch] absolutely, positively does not want booze-happy women wearing our clothing."
I don’t necessarily see anything wrong with that…they are targeting an audience and a demographic (slim, pretty, stylish 18 -28 year olds, with disposable incomes). Probably mommy and daddy are paying for it, but I could be wrong.
“know before whom you stand" and then sell them what they want…no? And I’m not a salesman, but isn’t that common sense?
There are plenty of places catering to ‘ big curvy ladies’, and there are plenty of places selling just about anything you want to buy, no matter how you define yourself. It is called targeting your most likely buyers.
I want to advertise to people who like mid century homes…with sunburst yellow appliances, or avocado green…I am banking on the nostalgia factor.
Those were the appliances in my grandparents houses…and it was a simpler time, and I rode my tricycle down the street…all by myself. The nostalgia factor could put it over the top.
And everything has a different conclusion depending on which angle you view it from.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on May 10, 2013 17:59:14 GMT -5
Who doesn't love the FacialUp? ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/cool.png)
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on May 10, 2013 18:06:25 GMT -5
You're a day late on that plan. Nostalgic appliances (large & small) as well as furniture are already flooding the market. You can get stoves/fridges/mixers/blenders/sofas/tables - you name it - all with the retro/nostagic look. They may be new but their overall cosmetic look isn't.
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on May 10, 2013 18:22:24 GMT -5
You're a day late on that plan. Nostalgic appliances (large & small) as well as furniture are already flooding the market. You can get stoves/fridges/mixers/blenders/sofas/tables - you name it - all with the retro/nostagic look. They may be new but their overall cosmetic look isn't. Early happy hour for you and Bobby? a/k/a What the hell are you two talking about? ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/tongue2.png)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 10, 2013 18:25:04 GMT -5
*hic*....well yoush can tell Mr. Abber something AND Mr. FINCH that us drunkies don't wanna hang out with THEM neither! *hic* ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/drunks.gif)
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on May 10, 2013 18:28:20 GMT -5
This drunk has standards and would never be caught in his white trash over-priced crap! ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/wine.gif) <<points to MM>> ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/grin.png)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 10, 2013 18:41:26 GMT -5
I see no use for boozed up women wearing clothing either! ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/raspberries.png)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 10, 2013 18:42:55 GMT -5
The man has class. You can't deny that. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/cool.png) In your dream. Virgil ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/grin.png)
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swamp
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Post by swamp on May 10, 2013 18:48:25 GMT -5
The man has class. You can't deny that. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/cool.png) Yes its classy to trash people.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on May 10, 2013 18:48:33 GMT -5
*hic*....well yoush can tell Mr. Abber something AND Mr. FINCH that us drunkies don't wanna hang out with THEM neither! *hic* ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/drunks.gif) Denial won't solve anything, Ms. Beer. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/sad.png) If you admit you want Mr. Jeffries' bod, then, then, we can start the healing process. We're here for you. Come take the first step with us. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/smiley.png)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 10, 2013 18:53:42 GMT -5
*hic*....well yoush can tell Mr. Abber something AND Mr. FINCH that us drunkies don't wanna hang out with THEM neither! *hic* ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/drunks.gif) Denial won't solve anything, Ms. Beer. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/sad.png) If you admit you want Mr. Jeffries' bod, then, then, we can start the healing process. We're here for you. Come take the first step with us. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/smiley.png) I don't think Ms. Beer is in for that. Virgil ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/grin.png)
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Jaguar
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Fear does not stop death. It stops life.
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Post by Jaguar on May 10, 2013 19:06:23 GMT -5
*hic*....well yoush can tell Mr. Abber something AND Mr. FINCH that us drunkies don't wanna hang out with THEM neither! *hic* ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/drunks.gif) Denial won't solve anything, Ms. Beer. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/sad.png) If you admit you want Mr. Jeffries' bod, then, then, we can start the healing process. We're here for you. Come take the first step with us. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/smiley.png)
Beer has standards.
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busymom
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Why is the rum always gone? Oh...that's why.
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Post by busymom on May 10, 2013 19:08:11 GMT -5
Virgil! You crack me up! ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/rofl.gif) We have a "speshul" place for people like Mr. Jeffries. <Busy checks to see if the EE freezer is full.>
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on May 10, 2013 19:31:31 GMT -5
![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/note.gif) Is Beer going to Jeffries' fair? (Vodka, gin, Kahlua, and rye.) Remember her to one who lives there, a CEO that she once called 'fine'. Tell him to serve her some fabulous booze, (Vodka, gin, Kahlua, and rye.) then sell her trendy ivy league shoes, and he'll be the one she calls 'fine'. Tell him to find her some spandex and lace, (Vodka, gin, Kahlua, and rye.) She'll stretch them tighter than his poor face, and he'll be the one she calls 'fine'. Is Beer going to Jeffries' fair? (Vodka, gin, Kahlua, and rye.) Remember her to one who lives there, a CEO that she once called 'fine'.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on May 10, 2013 19:32:16 GMT -5
Virgil! You crack me up! ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/rofl.gif) We have a "speshul" place for people like Mr. Jeffries. <Busy checks to see if the EE freezer is full.> If the freezer is full just take one of the stiffs out and put it in a A&F window. Surely it will be thin enough and hopefully all the booze will have dissipated from the body over the years. ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/wine.gif)
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busymom
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Why is the rum always gone? Oh...that's why.
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Post by busymom on May 10, 2013 19:58:51 GMT -5
Now, I've got the song "Prop Me Up Beside the Jukebox If I Die" going thru my head... ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/shocked.gif) Virgil, you'd better head down to Nashville. I think you've got a new career writing lyrics! ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/grin.png)
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on May 10, 2013 19:59:17 GMT -5
![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/note.gif) Is Beer going to Jeffries' fair? (Vodka, gin, Kahlua, and rye.) Remember her to one who lives there, a CEO that she once called 'fine'. Tell him to serve her some fabulous booze, (Vodka, gin, Kahlua, and rye.) then sell her trendy ivy league shoes, and he'll be the one she calls 'fine'. Tell him to find her some spandex and lace, (Vodka, gin, Kahlua, and rye.) She'll stretch them tighter than his poor face, and he'll be the one she calls 'fine'. Is Beer going to Jeffries' fair? (Vodka, gin, Kahlua, and rye.) Remember her to one who lives there, a CEO that she once called 'fine'. A for effort, but that's about it.
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MarleyKeezy78
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Post by MarleyKeezy78 on May 10, 2013 19:59:27 GMT -5
This guys gonna have to suck it up because this lush drank it up the other day in a pair of his sweatpants so he can bite me! Mind you I did did buy them a couple years ago.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on May 10, 2013 20:03:35 GMT -5
busymom thinks I'm the bees knees. ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/charmed.png) (And no, I don't care that "the bees knees" hasn't been in use since the 1930's.) ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/raspberries.png)
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busymom
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Why is the rum always gone? Oh...that's why.
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Post by busymom on May 10, 2013 20:07:55 GMT -5
You're a keeper, Virgil! ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/secret.png) You found my margarita pitcher in the back of the fridge, didn't you. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/wink.png)
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