old man that lives with me question

[Deleted]

here are the questions you have to ask yourself

can they provide for themselves throughout the day (food, facilities, etc) or do they need assistance

worst case scenario, he falls or needs help....does he have one of the remote buttons to call for help

i just went through this with my dad....

the final straw was when he passed out in the kitchen and lied on the floor for 5 hours before we got home

after that....it was a hospice where i knew he would be taken care of

i couldnt afford a 24 hour nurse (very few can)

the hospice cost me 8k a month subsidized by medicare/medicaid

but he was well taken care of....cared for.....and we visited everyday since we kept him local

best of luck on a really tough decision

[swamp]

Call Hospice.

[resolution]

It is a tough call what is best for him. Some people value life at all costs while others just want to go quietly at home. I think a big influence in this situation is if anyone is available to provide the care he needs at home. One of the things you might talk to the social worker about is if he qualifies for hospice care.

When my elderly neighbor refused dialysis, he was moved to a friends house that took him in to die. Hospice came out a couple shifts every day and then several of us filled in the other shifts so he always had someone with him until he passed. That was only a matter of weeks though and not months; I have no idea if hospice will come out for that length of time.

[Rocky Mtn Saver]

Seriously, where is that daughter you said he had?!?!?  This is her job to handle, not some kind person who rented a room to her parent.  Argh! 

[Gardening Grandma]

1. I would tell him that you'll come get him when the hospital releases him.

2. I'd have him sign a health care P of A.  The time will likely come when decisions have to be made and he won't be able to make them.

3. I'd have him sign a release so that his healthcare providors can talk to you and answer your questions.

This is what I'd do with any family member who lived with me.

[Bob Ross]

Steve, I'm curious as to how this old guy came to live with you.

Is he a friend?  Roommate?  Acquaintance?  Ex-coworker?  Ex-neighbor? 

Or  did you simply open your door one day and shout out into the neighborhood "now taking bids for all random old guys who wish to live with me" and he was the first who showed up?

Inquiring minds want to know.

[The Captain]

I know it's been implied but if he is not yet signed up/qualified for MEDICAID (not Medicare) you need to speak with a case worker about that, pronto.

It is Medicaid (not Medicare) that assists with the cost of long term care, and (as you may guess) you have to pretty much spend down all of your assets before it kicks in.

[Nazgul Girl]

    Thank you for helping this old gentleman, Steve.  

[Gardening Grandma]

May 9, 2013 19:37:44 GMT -5 Nazgul Girl said:

    Thank you for helping this old gentleman, Steve.  

  

[Sam_2.0]

I wish you both the best of luck, steve, as you try to find the best way to help your friend. You have a very kind and generous heart.

[Phoenix84]

I don't know very much about it, but I am pretty sure hospice care can be either at a hospice facility or at home.  You may want to ask his case workers if he qualifies for hospice care and if you get get it at home.  That's what my Grandpa did before he died, got hospice care at home. 

Sounds like that would be the best of both words.  He would be able to live out his final months in a familar setting while getting the care he needs. 

[kittensaver]

Steve - I agree with others that you are doing a wonderful, kind thing to help your friend as he undertakes the final weeks or months of his life. A lot of people pass on in isolated, sad circumstances, and at least he will be comfortable in familiar surroundings.

I third-fourth-fifth-and-sixth what other people said about calling Hospice. The social work department of the hospital should be able to put you in touch with them. Hospice at home is not only a possibility, for some it is the only way to go (so to speak). Visiting nurses will be sent on a schedule to check up on him - the frequency will depend on what his attending doctor feels he needs. Hospice care should also be able to put him in touch with hospice homes that will accept his insurance or medicaid. They can even help him fill out the paperwork to get on medicaid if needed. Good luck to you and bless you for being such a kind soul .