Mentally Ill Child

[swamp]

shine.yahoo.com/parenting/child-mentally-ill-143800211.html

Your thoughts? 

[swamp]

I know a child who was diagnosed with schizophrenia at 6 years old.  She goes to school at a psychiatric center and she will probably never be mainstreamed. 

She was removed from a neglectful home and adopted by wonderful people, but she will never be "cured" and will always have to have intensive mental health supervision and periodic hospitalizations.   And now the state wants to cut back further on mental health services. 

[Jaguar]

It's extremely sad.

[kittensaver]

I used to work in child mental health (I switched a number of years back and now work in adult services), and this author has hit the nail on the head. It is especially hard (and HORRIBLY stigmatizing) for parents who belong to or live in some minority and strict religious communities. These communities do not "believe in" mental illness; they think it is a character flaw that is the result of "bad parenting" or "not praying hard enough" or "not being pious enough." Yes, very sad indeed.

[Deleted]

My maternal aunt had schizophrenia. The poor thing also had cerebral palsy. I don't know if my grandparents were ever given a diagnosis. My mother just always said that her sister was weird. I met her a couple of times (she remained in New York while my folks had moved to CA in 1960). She was pretty drugged up and she and her husband (who had mental issues too) drank A LOT of coffee(I mean a full 12 cup pot each), probably to offset some of the side effects. I suspect that one of the reasons my grandmother had the substance abuse issues she did was trying to deal with the situation. My mother 'fessed up to being a trouble maker, mostly as a way of getting attention, any kind of attention, in a dysfunctional situation. I also think my mother had ADHD. I can't imagine what it must have been like to have been my grandmother.

My heart goes out to parents who have mentally ill children. So much is unknown and I think in the back of many peoples' minds is what did the parent do to cause it.

[Deleted]

 

[Deleted]

May 8, 2013 16:03:07 GMT -5 kittensaver said:

I used to work in child mental health (I switched a number of years back and now work in adult services), and this author has hit the nail on the head. It is especially hard (and HORRIBLY stigmatizing) for parents who belong to or live in some minority and strict religious communities. These communities do not "believe in" mental illness; they think it is a character flaw that is the result of "bad parenting" or "not praying hard enough" or "not being pious enough." Yes, very sad indeed.

Amen, so sad but yet so true. We are dealing with it with my wife cousin tight now. No one wants to admit that she has a problem or force her to get the help she needs: leave it in God's hands and everything will be ok.

Mom won't stop praying but will not make the extra effort to get her psychiatric help. It is emotionally draining the whole family and slowly (but surely) folks are distancing themselves from her and her mother.

I've seen it happen in my family where the illness was blamed on the devil and nothing was done besides constantly praying. If I want to see my cousin we drive around Orange/East Orange NJ and eventually we find him somewhere (homeless now). Family try to keep tabs on him, he never stray to far from us, and feed/clothes him. He tends to sleep on my aunts porch/basement (not his mom) during winter and disappear during the spring/summer. His parents did not know how to deal with it besides praying.

[thyme4change]

I'm still going to use the words "crazy" and "insane" as every day adjectives.  

[whoisjohngalt]

OK, I'll say it - I can't take a lot of "mental illnesses" seriously.  It seems that "psychiatrists" come up with a new disorder every other day.    So, while I understand and sympathize GREATLY with parents who have truly mentally disabled kids, there are also quite a few who can't wait to get their kids "diagnosed".    Whether it's to get extra help in school or extra services outside of school or whatever.

There is just no balance, there seem to be one extreme or another

[constanz22]

May 8, 2013 15:58:12 GMT -5 swamp said:

I know a child who was diagnosed with schizophrenia at 6 years old.  She goes to school at a psychiatric center and she will probably never be mainstreamed. 

She was removed from a neglectful home and adopted by wonderful people, but she will never be "cured" and will always have to have intensive mental health supervision and periodic hospitalizations.   And now the state wants to cut back further on mental health services. 

"Wants to cut back mental health services"?! I've been a mental health social worker for over 13 years in NY. There are little to no children's mental health services left, and what is left has 3-6 month waiting lists for an appointment. Our county closed their entire children's mental health unit several years ago. It's a horrible system and only getting worse....NY is not going to be a fun state to try to get any mental health services in in probably as little as 5 years...

[Phoenix84]

I do think there is a lot of stigma and denial about mental illness. 

It's still quite common for people to dismiss and ignore things like ADHD, or clincal depression.  And think you can just "snap out of it." 

Another worrying trend is people equate "mental illlness" with going postal and shooting up someplace.  The vast majority of the mentally ill are not dangerous, but such a stigma will only make people less likely to seek treatment. 

[constanz22]

And the article is spot on. I agree 110% from my experience!

[tloonya]

May 8, 2013 17:09:50 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

I'm still going to use the words "crazy" and "insane" as every day adjectives.  

How about retard? Just asking...

[telephus44]

The article is right.  And trying to navigate through the system is a lot harder than it should be to get help.  My son is autistic, and even after we got his diagnosis, it was like "he has autism, here's the paperwork.  Call us in a year for follow up."  WTH?  Now I have to guess how to treat it, what he needs, what he qualifies for, what insurance will pay for... And we are financially stable, intelligent, and our son is very high functioning.  I can't even imagine living paycheck to paycheck with a child who has a more debilitating mental illness.

and to Lena's comment... It's not the "over diagnosed" thing that gets me, it's the "everything should be free."  I see this a lot, since I have a lot of friends with children with autism and other challenges.  Insurance should cover this, the school needs to give me this, my kid needs an extra hour on every test, the state should buy my child an iPad... No, a diagnosis is not a shopping pass to rack up a bunch of "free" stuff / services.  That's my side rant for the day.

[Deleted]

I think you are all wonderful, caring people.

But understand that these are the children eating up your education $$$.  SPED is "special education" and IEP is "Individual Education Plan."  Many of these students belong in special schools that cost tens of thousands of dollars in tuition each year.

I am the child of a schizophrenic mother.  One of the happiest days of my life was actually when I got some counseling as I was getting a divorce.  My ex used to use the words "You're crazy" when I did something different from what he wanted me to do.  The counselor told me I was past the window for schizophrenia.  I was no more crazy than the rest of the world.  Lol.  Anyway, I have done a lot of reading about the subject, particularly since my oldest grandson was diagnosed with Oppositional Defiance Disorder.  It isn't schizophrenia, but there is a link between the two conditions.

These kids need help . . . desperately.  But understand that help costs money . . . far more money than their parents may have.  Society has to step up, and we don't want to.  We want low taxes.  We want our educational dollars spent on our children.

Some days it is hard for me not to step up on that soapbox.  Sorry.

[tloonya]

May 8, 2013 15:47:19 GMT -5 swamp said:

shine.yahoo.com/parenting/child-mentally-ill-143800211.html

Your thoughts? 

I would have some extra work done. But it is just me...

[skubikky]

Remember that kids with mental illness are still kids. They need friends. Teach your children inclusion and compassion for their peers with challenges. 


I feel very sorry for the parent of a child with such a profound mental illlness.   But, make no mistake about it my kids are not going to be allowed to play with a kid like that.   Many years ago a friend of ours had a son with serious emotional issues.  The two occasions that he played with my kids, both of them got punched in the face.  Once, right in front of my husband.   Sorry, from that point on, there were no more occasions for play.   It's was not up to me to put my kids in danger so that a mentally dangerous kid could have friends.  Not happening.

[Miss Tequila]

May 9, 2013 7:36:29 GMT -5 skubikky said:

Remember that kids with mental illness are still kids. They need friends. Teach your children inclusion and compassion for their peers with challenges. 


I feel very sorry for the parent of a child with such a profound mental illlness.   But, make no mistake about it my kids are not going to be allowed to play with a kid like that.   Many years ago a friend of ours had a son with serious emotional issues.  The two occasions that he played with my kids, both of them got punched in the face.  Once, right in front of my husband.   Sorry, from that point on, there were no more occasions for play.   It's was not up to me to put my kids in danger so that a mentally dangerous kid could have friends.  Not happening.

As the mom of a special needs child, i agree with this.  Compassion and inclusion ends the moment my child's safety is at risk.

[The Captain]

X's 2.

[swamp]

May 8, 2013 17:34:02 GMT -5 constanz22 said:

May 8, 2013 15:58:12 GMT -5 swamp said:

I know a child who was diagnosed with schizophrenia at 6 years old.  She goes to school at a psychiatric center and she will probably never be mainstreamed. 

She was removed from a neglectful home and adopted by wonderful people, but she will never be "cured" and will always have to have intensive mental health supervision and periodic hospitalizations.   And now the state wants to cut back further on mental health services. 

"Wants to cut back mental health services"?! I've been a mental health social worker for over 13 years in NY. There are little to no children's mental health services left, and what is left has 3-6 month waiting lists for an appointment. Our county closed their entire children's mental health unit several years ago. It's a horrible system and only getting worse....NY is not going to be a fun state to try to get any mental health services in in probably as little as 5 years...

Constanz, we've got a children's mental health inpatient services unit near me. It is the only one in NNY and has a waiting list for all the services. The state wants to close it to establish a few "Centers of Excellence" in the state.    Which means that anyone in NNY has to travel several hours to get treatment for their mentally ill children. 

I don't see how this is going to save money since the kids are still getting treatment at other places, now you may have to pay for a medicaid driver to schlep these people all over the state, and the ones that don't get treatment end up in the criminal justice system. 

[Deleted]

May 8, 2013 20:02:19 GMT -5 @southernsusana said:

I think you are all wonderful, caring people.

But understand that these are the children eating up your education $$$.  SPED is "special education" and IEP is "Individual Education Plan."  Many of these students belong in special schools that cost tens of thousands of dollars in tuition each year.

I am the child of a schizophrenic mother.  One of the happiest days of my life was actually when I got some counseling as I was getting a divorce.  My ex used to use the words "You're crazy" when I did something different from what he wanted me to do.  The counselor told me I was past the window for schizophrenia.  I was no more crazy than the rest of the world.  Lol.  Anyway, I have done a lot of reading about the subject, particularly since my oldest grandson was diagnosed with Oppositional Defiance Disorder.  It isn't schizophrenia, but there is a link between the two conditions.

These kids need help . . . desperately.  But understand that help costs money . . . far more money than their parents may have.  Society has to step up, and we don't want to.  We want low taxes.  We want our educational dollars spent on our children.

Some days it is hard for me not to step up on that soapbox.  Sorry.

What's the alternative? Do we just lock them up?

I do understand what you're saying though. A good friend of mine is a nurse at a large school system in So. CA. Her job is to work with special needs children, their IEPs, their parents and <shudders> their advocates. From listening to my friend, their are a lot of folks demanding extra services which don't really help their kids and are a waste of tax payer resources because of aggressive advocates. She says it's the worst part of her job.

[Deleted]

LA Times had a series of articles a year or two ago about how families that fought the hardest got services, not necessarily the ones with the most need.

www.latimes.com/news/local/autism/la-me-autism-day-two-html,0,3900437.htmlstory

[bean29]

My Dad is Bi-Polar.  When he is well he is a sweetheart.  When he is ill he mostly talks so fast you can't understand him or he jumps from subject to subject.  He never has been a danger to himself or others.  His medication makes a huge difference in his ability to function normally.  My Dad was not diagnosed until he was about 30 and he worked long enough to have a Union (Construction) Pension.

The saddest thing to me is to think that people who could be virtually cured or have their illness managed similar to diabetes, are denied the ability to live a normal life.

A childhood friend of mine has a DD that is Bi-Polar.  It is my understanding that treating the disease in adolescents is much more difficult.  Her daughter also had other very serious problems when she was born and she is ADD/ADHD and I think she might also be autistic.

I have not talked to my friend in years, but I am facebook friends with her.  Understand I only go on facebook about once every other month if that.  But my firend works at the High School we graduated from.  She has a lot of facebook friends.  Many from my class and my siblings classes.  My SIL who graduated from a neighboring HS is one of her facebook friends--I think b/c her Kids went to that HS.  My friend posts about her struggles with her kid, and many of these people are very supportive, but I have also seen people just rip her apart and say she is a winner and looking for attention.  One wonders why put yourself in that situation?  I think some people have helped her financially on occasion and that is what some people are objecting to.

I think it is very hard emotionally to be the support to someone who is mentally ill.  The caretakers need support and re-enforcement.  Friends stopping by to visit, inviting your out to lunch etc can be very uplifting.  Carl, my parents are very prayerful and their chuch members have been very supportive.  My parents (and many of their friends pray "Not my will Lord, but yours"  I have come to the conclusion that when these people pray about it they feel obligated to remove judgement from their viewpoint.  Never turn down prayers.  It may not have a positive chage in your relative, but it may change how they view their misson.

[Deleted]

No, Bonny, I didn't mean these children should be locked up.  I actually believe the opposite.