air head children

[thyme4change]

you are not the boss of me.

Oh yes - we also sing that song a lot.  Sometimes if the kids are getting into it, we will turn on the stereo full blast and dance around singing it, and encourage them to sing along.  

[Peace Of Mind]

I was made to be boss and responsible for my two younger brothers most of my life and as I got older I had to be "mom" to the two older step brothers because mom said they were idiots and can't be trusted to turn the stove off or cook for themselves, etc.  I'm pretty sure that's a big reason I never wanted kids.  I had to do it, twice, with other people's children and I was over it.  I had to play mom to my exes little sister (we had full custody of her after his mom passed) and his son from a previous marriage who we also had full custody of.  

DH still forgets things now and then but it's not his fault.  He has to be and likes to be out in the field more than stuck in his office so he has 3 offices:  one here, one at his office building, and his truck.  He has to take files, plans, cell phone, laptop, glasses... everywhere he goes.  The wallet, glasses or cell phone gets left behind at least once a week. 

[NoNamePerson]

May 1, 2013 11:53:57 GMT -5 973beachbum said:

May 1, 2013 10:39:47 GMT -5 @tbird said:

LOL, I thought swamp, jr was the problem child?etting him to

Sounds like my DS, go get an Rx for adderal

My son has a rx for adderal and he would still walk out barefoot without his backpack in Feb if I didn't remind him.

Getting him to actually use shampoo and soap when he is in the shower is also fun.  

I can remember a time when my son was about 8. Told him time to take bath. He went into bathroom, closed door and stayed for a while. Came out later and I reached over and took hold of his arm. I told him to go back and take a bath/shower. But MOOOmmm I did. No you didn't son, or your arm would feel damp and not bone dry. He just grinned at me and went back to bathroom.

Why do they think they can pull crap over us? Don't they realize we have pulled most of those tricks ourselves

[alabamagal]

My Dad is like that. I am like that. My middle child is like that.

My middle child (boy) always struggled that way. He is now 20 and doing well in college. I won't say it got better, but he learned to cope with it better. I have so many funny stories to tell. We just learned to deal with it.

- In 3rd grade he came home with his report card in tears because he got 4 "bad grades" according to him. He got unsatisfactory in "Is prepared for class" "Listens" "Follows Directions" and "Handwriting". He had pretty much straight A's in academics. Pretty much always had straight A's and graduated as STAR student in his class.

- He had a hard time completing chores. One time we told him to feed the dog. He went outside, saw the dog food container was empty, got another bag of dog food and poured it into container, put the lid on and came back inside. The dogs were not fed. But he was not disobeying, he just could not complete the task. This is just an example of how his whole life was.

- Before he got a smart phone with GPS, his way of finding his way was to look on the computer at Google maps and then try to remember how to get there, which never worked well. The first time he drove home from college (~ 3 hour drive on a lot of back roads) he got lost 3 times and had to call me.

He also now has a great gf who is super organized and has her own GPS - opposites attract.

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

Remove ALL shiny things along the route from the lunch to the backpack to the shoes to the coat to the door to the car.  

Seriously, it is just one of the many wonderful variations of the human cognitive function.  Imagine if we ALL focused on details -- nothing would ever get done.  We NEED big picture types like your DS AND we NEED detail-oriented folks like your DD.  Together, they are one complete, perfect, human being.  

[alabamagal]

May 2, 2013 9:07:16 GMT -5 GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl said:

Remove ALL shiny things along the route from the lunch to the backpack to the shoes to the coat to the door to the car.  

Seriously, it is just one of the many wonderful variations of the human cognitive function.  Imagine if we ALL focused on details -- nothing would ever get done.  We NEED big picture types like your DS AND we NEED detail-oriented folks like your DD.  Together, they are one complete, perfect, human being.  

Yes definitely.  One of my boys was ADD and the other ODD (overly detailed disorder).

When the ADD one had a project to do, we would find out about it the night before.  When the ODD had a school project, as soon as he found out about he insisted that he needed any supplies RIGHT AWAY, even if the project was due 2 weeks down the road.  They would both drive me nuts in their own little way.

[thyme4change]

May 2, 2013 9:11:25 GMT -5 alabamagal said:

May 2, 2013 9:07:16 GMT -5 GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl said:

When the ADD one had a project to do, we would find out about it the night before.  When the ODD had a school project, as soon as he found out about he insisted that he needed any supplies RIGHT AWAY, even if the project was due 2 weeks down the road.  They would both drive me nuts in their own little way.

Sounds a little like my kids.

[swamp]

Good news.  I put the back packs and lunch by the front door.  DS picked them up on his own before he left without being reminded.   He did have to be reminded to put on shoes, though.

[Deleted]

May 2, 2013 11:29:39 GMT -4 thyme4change said:


Sounds a little like my kids.

Mine too. Guess I've done my duty by providing one of each kind for potential mates. 

[Pants]

Doesn't it take like 3 weeks to make a new habit? Would that be helpful here?

My whole family used to do stuff like that for my little brother. His whole life. When my brother was about 22, we finally made an agreement to let him do what he was or wasn't going to do at that point - but it's still hard, almost 8 years later.

The world didn't end. Pointing out what he had to do all the time was more about making us feel in control, and hobbled him more than it helped.

Let your son fail - let him show up at school without his homework or his lunch and deal with the consequences. Keep a pair of really embarassing shoes in the car, if he forgets to wear shoes he has to put those on. Like archie said, let him fail early and learn how to get his sh*t together.