kgb18
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Post by kgb18 on Apr 22, 2013 20:22:37 GMT -5
I'm having a hard time teaching DD the appropriate use of, "I'm sorry."
It's not that she doesn't say it. It's that she says it too much. She says it when it's not needed. Today, she wasn't paying attention and ran into a wall. I said, "Baby girl, be careful and watch where you're going." She said, "Sorry!" But she didn't do anything wrong or hurt anything.
She does say it when it should be said, but in a lot of those cases, I'm not sure she's really that sorry.
I don't know how to help her understand what sorry really means (If you do something wrong and you say you're sorry, you really should be sorry.) And I don't know how to teach her when it's appropriate. If she says it and it's not needed I'll tell her that.
Sorry is really a concept, a feeling. I don't know how to explain it.
Thoughts? Suggestions?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 22, 2013 20:26:00 GMT -5
How old is she?
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kgb18
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Post by kgb18 on Apr 22, 2013 20:27:24 GMT -5
She is 3.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Apr 22, 2013 20:40:08 GMT -5
DS also doesn't quite understand it. If someone bumps into him, he'll say sorry, even though he wasn't at fault. I just figure he'll refine his understanding with time. (This is where I would add a shrugging emoticon if I could on my tablet.)
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kgb18
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Post by kgb18 on Apr 22, 2013 20:45:33 GMT -5
I do the same darn thing. I often find myself apologizing for things when I shouldn't. I want to DD to be truly sorry when it's appropriate. I don't want her to spend her whole life apologizing for things that aren't her fault.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 22, 2013 20:51:00 GMT -5
I don't understand the problem. Sorry.
signed a proud Canadian
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Apr 22, 2013 21:40:49 GMT -5
Does she understand "Excuse me"? I would let her know that Sorry is for when you do something that hurts someone else. Excuse me is for things like accidentally running into something.
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kgb18
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Post by kgb18 on Apr 22, 2013 21:52:56 GMT -5
I think she understands excuse me, but mostly she runs into walls.  She's a klutz, and she gets distracted. She had a huge lump and bruise on her forehead last week. She was excited to get a book from her room and misjudged a corner. Bam! She ran right into the wall. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 22, 2013 22:17:55 GMT -5
I wouldn't worry at 3... As was said, understanding will refine it with time... Very abstract concepts.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Apr 23, 2013 12:08:06 GMT -5
I do the same darn thing. I often find myself apologizing for things when I shouldn't. I want to DD to be truly sorry when it's appropriate. I don't want her to spend her whole life apologizing for things that aren't her fault. I think you have to be very mindful of what behavior you are modeling for her then. When she is around and something like this happens, make sure to be polite, but don't apologize if it isn't your fault. |
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Apr 23, 2013 12:14:54 GMT -5
Is that a problem? I say "sorry" when I'm not. I apologize when people bump into me in public places. I apologize to my kids for having to do chores, or homework or whatever. I'm not really sorry that I'm going to watch my show and they have to turn off whatever insipid cartoon they have on. If I only apologized when I felt actual remorse, I would very rarely say it, and it would mostly be for something I did yesterday or last week, and upon reflection, it wasn't the right thing to do.
I guess, in general, I feel the right thing to do is apologize for my mere existence, or for my priorities.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2013 12:25:19 GMT -5
I don't see saying sorry as taking responsibility. I'm expressing sympathy or regret that someone has had an unpleasant feeling or experience. More of an expression of empathy. It also works as a burn "I'm so sorry I'm wonderful and you suck" kinda thing.
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genericname
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Post by genericname on Apr 23, 2013 12:30:13 GMT -5
I think she'll get it sorted out when she gets older and more clued in to the nuances of life. It is a difficult concept, I think. My 2 year old says sorry when prompted, but I don't think he really knows what it means. Sometimes he's TOO sorry - he has to go hug the kid and say he's sorry at the same time, haha. It freaks some kids out!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2013 12:33:42 GMT -5
"say you're sorry to you mother and make sure you mean it this time."
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