Successful Mentor/Mentee relationships..

[Deleted]

It seems every year or two there is a push from management to encourage mentoring.  For the most part, it ends up being a completely failure.  Now that I'm part of management, I'm ready to make a difference.  I've thought through my own answers to these questions, but I don't want to sway responses by posting my answers until I get other's input.

1.  What are the key attributes to consider when pairing up mentor and mentee?


2.  What are the main topics in a mentoring relationship?


3.  What role should management play to encourage mentoring as part of corporate culture?

[Deleted]

My first, off the cuff thoughts/questions concerning the first one was-

Is the mentor in a supervisory position and the mentee within the same corporate environment? I guess the word culture makes me think broader than one confined space. And if that is the case or not, I believe the mentor's goal is to reflect and reiterate the corporate vision, making sure both mentor (themselves) and mentee are on the same page.

Winging it as mentor with mentee more often than not proves disastrous if there is lack of a solid blueprint to be guided by upfront..   There must be agreement between the parties involved or way too many surprises can pop up and cause mentee shock- when little foundation has been laid. I also believe a foundation must be, more than, or not even, from the mentor, "You do as I say without thought or question or else".. On the flip side of the relationship, I also believe, if the mentee understands and agrees with the blueprint of the corporate goals/vision- It is only fair for the mentee to abide by the agreement.

Too.. I believe room should be allowed for flexibility that does not compromise the goals or the morale of all concerned, both mentor, mentee and the entire corporate culture as a whole. 

By the way.. I am not part of management, but I've sure felt the latter end of mentor-ship. Neither side took listening to the other, well, was my own personal experience.. 

Thanks for listening- 

 

[Ava]

A few years ago, when I was finishing Community College, I enrolled in the CPA Association.
They had just started a mentoring program, and they were pushing it hard. I enrolled, feeling I had nothing to lose.
It was a mistake.
I guess they just gave you whoever was available, without considering if you were compatible with that person or not.
Now, I'm a nontraditional student, and the "Mentor" they gave me was a girl way younger than myself, with very little experience. She was just a recent graduate with her master degree, was working her first accounting job (for the last few months), and didn't even have a CPA license yet.
I e-mailed her a few times. We arranged to meet, she didn't show up. We planned another meeting, for which she did show up. She was very fashion conscious (which I'm not), and stared me up and down the whole time. After that meeting (I didn't learn anything useful, by the way), she never contacted me again. I didn't contact her because we had nothing in common, and I realized we were both uncomfortable with each other. She wasn't bad, just not a good fit for me.
If I could choose my mentor, it would have been an older CPA with years of practice under their belt. If he or she spoke Spanish, that would be even better.
I know you are asking about a more specific situation; a work environment. I just wanted to tell my story because I think I know why this kind of thing never works.
You cannot "create" or "program" that sort of relationship. The intention behind it is good. But, in practice, it's forced and unnatural. 
Calling someone your "mentor", making it "official", it's horribly awkward.
The best mentor-mentee relationship will flow by itself, among people who work well together and share some common interest, goal, and work chemistry.

[thyme4change]

Did Liz Lemon make any progress by using Jack Donaghy?  

[Deleted]

Apr 9, 2013 23:16:12 GMT -5 @heart2heart said:

My first, off the cuff thoughts/questions concerning the first one was-

Is the mentor in a supervisory position and the mentee within the same corporate environment? I guess the word culture makes me think broader than one confined space. And if that is the case or not, I believe the mentor's goal is to reflect and reiterate the corporate vision, making sure both mentor (themselves) and mentee are on the same page.

Thanks for listening- 

I think most of our pairings would not be individual contributor with a supervisor unless their career path was management.  Instead it most likely would be with someone 1 or 2 levels above them in title/experience.  The Associate Engineer would team up with the more experienced Sr Engineer.  The Sr Engineer with the Architect.  There are exceptions as a number of us hold these dual Architect/Manager roles.  In my own case, I sought out someone who had a dual role for a number of years like me because they would understand the challenges I face. 

[Deleted]

Apr 9, 2013 23:19:46 GMT -5 Ava said:

You cannot "create" or "program" that sort of relationship. The intention behind it is good. But, in practice, it's forced and unnatural. 
Calling someone your "mentor", making it "official", it's horribly awkward.
The best mentor-mentee relationship will flow by itself, among people who work well together and share some common interest, goal, and work chemistry.

I agree that forced parings is a bad idea.  I'd prefer to not do it that way.  I do think a program is needed though because people don't understand what the purpose/benefit of mentoring is in our division.  The culture hasn't encouraged it in the right way and there is no history of wide scale adoption.  So we have a problem of potential mentees not sure how to start a relationship and potential mentors not knowing what their role should be if they are asked.

One problem I have seen first hand is pressuring some people to find mentors on their own and then they pick people they are already friends with.  That is a problem for a couple reasons:
1.  They already know them and probably already get advice from them.
2.  They are more likely to be cheerleaders rather then advisors.  "Yeah your boss does suck"..

So maybe a hybrid is the mentee comes up with 2 or 3 potential mentors on their own and management picks the one they think will be the best fit.

[skubikky]

The most talented and effective software people that I've worked with over the past 32 years almost always had healthy self-esteem.  They would have the rare ability to teach and instruct, without being condescending or defensive.  That means that they were open and always willing to listen to ideas or questions without appearing to feel threatened.   They were anxious to share their work and didn't feel intimidated by someone who might have more or varied experience.  The response to others like this was to seek out their expertise and input.
In the mentoring relationship there would be a great deal of inclusion.  Creating a type of partnership as opposed to teacher and student.  Those that never seek it by far get the most respect.

I found in my experience the more someone tells you how much they can do and how accomplished they are at it.....the less that seems to be true.  For those that are accomplished and feel the need to make that known, it is much more difficult for them to effectively communicate and get others to really listen and learn.  And the level of respect is quite low even though this individual is skilled and accomplished.

[vonna]

Apr 9, 2013 23:19:46 GMT -5 Ava said:

You cannot "create" or "program" that sort of relationship. The intention behind it is good. But, in practice, it's forced and unnatural. 

Calling someone your "mentor", making it "official", it's horribly awkward.

The best mentor-mentee relationship will flow by itself, among people who work well together and share some common interest, goal, and work chemistry.

[Bob Ross]

1. What are the key attributes to consider when pairing up mentor and mentee?

Opposites attract.

2. What are the main topics in a mentoring relationship?

The mentor should talk about how awesome they are (you should be really good at this, BTW  ), while the mentor should sit there in intimidated silence.

3. What role should management play to encourage mentoring as part of corporate culture?

Punch and pie?