Preschool / Kindergarten decisions

[kgb18]

DH and I have to make some decisions regarding preschool and kindergarten for DD. I'm just curious what others think about this.

DD is 3. She will be 4 in early October. She is currently in a preschool class two mornings a week. She is the youngest in her class this year. They bumped her up a class even though she missed the age cutoff because she was already able to do the things they taught in the younger class. She has done well in her class this year.

With the way her birthday falls, she won't be allowed to start kindergarten until she is almost 6. I think she is going to be ready to go a year sooner than that.

Our first decision is whether to keep her to two mornings a week in preschool next year or send her three mornings a week.

Our second decision is going to be whether to send her to private school and start her in kindergarten when she is 4 about to turn 5 (the fall of 2014), or do another year of preschool and just enroll her in the public school when she is about to turn 6 (fall of 2015).

Thoughts?

[Sam_2.0]

Is kindergarten full-day either at the public or the private school? If you did send her at 4/5, would she be ready for the full day classes or ready to go every single day? I wouldn't worry so much about the age cutoff as I would really look at what DD is ready for.

[Deleted]

I would start sending her three mornings a week next year to start working her in more and more of a routine.

If she goes to private Kingergarten would she got to public school first grade the next year or private school first grade or public school kindergarten?



In CT, the birthday cutoff for kindergarten is January 1st, so we are sending our daughter to public school kindergarten when she is 4 even though her birthday is December 16.

[kgb18]

sam, We're hoping to move before DD starts kindergarten. If we get our first choice district or end up staying where we are, it would have half-day. If we go with our second choice district, it would be full-day. That's definitely something to consider. Full-day, five days a week might be too much for her, even if academically and socially she would be ready.

archie, I have to find out if she could go to first grade in public school. Another good thing to consider. I don't want her going through kindergarten twice, and we don't intend to keep her in a private school.

[Clever Username]

Will the private school allow you to continue all the way through at her age?
Ours is still quite rigid with the 9/1 cutoff date.

Thing #2 was born on 8/1.
As one of the youngest in class, we gave a lot of scrutiny early to the decision to keep her there or hold her back.
All teachers gave us a thumbs up and she has continued to thrive.

Still, it is a decision to have her be the youngest and often smallest in class.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Will the private schools let you move her up a year? 

I'm actually glad Caleb has a late Oct. b-day and will be held back a year.  There's no way in hell he'll be ready for 4K/jr. kindy this fall. 

[Shooby]

Personally, i don't see any need for Preschool whatsoever.  If you want her to play and socialize a bit, then it is fine for that.  And, my advice is that you should have your child at home with you as much as possible because the years are going to fly by.  So, i would opt for less Preschool.  Have her "help" you at home.  Have help do the dishes, fold laundry, etc.  That is wonderful mommy and me time.
  As for K, what is the hurry?  She has all of life to go to school?  Why not just enjoy another year of having your child home?  As for public versus private, that is your choice.  But, my kids are in public school and i am perfectly happy with that.  I would rather bank that money for college rather than spend it on private school.

[kgb18]

Personally, i don't see any need for Preschool whatsoever.  If you want her to play and socialize a bit, then it is fine for that.

I work, so she is in preschool while we're at work. I drop of her off and pick her up at lunch time and take her to my MIL's house. I did enroll her mostly for the socialization and getting used to listening to an adult who is not a family member. But she's learning a lot this year. She's learning to write all of her letters and numbers, which she is excited about.

As for K, what is the hurry?  She has all of life to go to school?  Why not just enjoy another year of having your child home?  As for public versus private, that is your choice.  But, my kids are in public school and i am perfectly happy with that.  I would rather bank that money for college rather than spend it on private school.

I don't want to send her if she's not ready, but I'm worried that by the time she goes to kindergarten she'll be bored. As I said, we don't intend to do private school the whole way through. We have good public schools in our area. I'm just thinking about private for kindergarten if we think she's ready before she could be accepted into public school.

[weaselfer]

I can tell you about my experience.  Here the cutoff is 9/1 and my DD is an August birthday.  She was academically ready and she seemed to do okay socially.  We had her start Kindergarten right after she turned 5.  She has done very well academically.  She is now in third grade and doing really well socially.  Kindergarten was a little rough in that she is a bit shy and had been in daycare with the same kids for 2 1/2 years.  She is small for her age so I am always concerned how she will handle things.  She is making friends with kids who are 1 to 2 years older (some kids were held back).  She is doing really well academically, if anything, she is bored.  I feel that if my daughter had been held back, she would have had to skip a grade later.  I will admit, that I am always thinking about the kids and school, like, whether they are being challenged enough, should I supplement at home, is homeschooling an option.  I think that as long as you what you feel is best for your child, then you have made a great decision, but realize that you will always question that decision.  That is what makes you a good parent.

[Shooby]

Apr 5, 2013 14:56:29 GMT -5 kgb18 said:

Personally, i don't see any need for Preschool whatsoever.  If you want her to play and socialize a bit, then it is fine for that.

I work, so she is in preschool while we're at work. I drop of her off and pick her up at lunch time and take her to my MIL's house. I did enroll her mostly for the socialization and getting used to listening to an adult who is not a family member. But she's learning a lot this year. She's learning to write all of her letters and numbers, which she is excited about.

As for K, what is the hurry?  She has all of life to go to school?  Why not just enjoy another year of having your child home?  As for public versus private, that is your choice.  But, my kids are in public school and i am perfectly happy with that.  I would rather bank that money for college rather than spend it on private school.

I don't want to send her if she's not ready, but I'm worried that by the time she goes to kindergarten she'll be bored. As I said, we don't intend to do private school the whole way through. We have good public schools in our area. I'm just thinking about private for kindergarten if we think she's ready before she could be accepted into public school.

Why do parents worry about their kid being "bored"?  So what if a kid gets bored?   We seem to say that like it is a terrible thing.  If my kids are "bored" at school, well, i can QUICKLY find extra work for them to relieve them of any "boredom" they might feel.  And, boredom is actually a good thing.  Yes, there are lots and lots of times in life when we are going to be bored.  We all get bored at our jobs at times.  We get bored waiting in line, etc.  It is all part of learning to deal with life.  And, no offense but most kids (including my own) are pretty average so the class material pretty much centers around the middle so i don't really see that as an issue.  

[raeoflyte]

Idle hands and all...

But really I was bored in school, and didnt learn actual study skills until college. Which I didn't finish, so...

[Deleted]

Bored in life is good... It leads to creativity and innovation. Bored in school tends mostly to lead to problems though...

[swamp]

DD is also an oct bday.   I opted to hold her back rather than enrolling her in Pre-k when she was 3 going on 4. She was 4 when she started Pre-k and turned 5 in oct. I held her because while she was academically ready for Pre-k, she had separation anxiety. 

[whoisjohngalt]

Why do parents worry about their kid being "bored"?  So what if a kid gets bored?   We seem to say that like it is a terrible thing.  If my kids are "bored" at school, well, i can QUICKLY find extra work for them to relieve them of any "boredom" they might feel.  And, boredom is actually a good thing.  Yes, there are lots and lots of times in life when we are going to be bored.  We all get bored at our jobs at times.  We get bored waiting in line, etc.  It is all part of learning to deal with life.  And, no offense but most kids (including my own) are pretty average so the class material pretty much centers around the middle so i don't really see that as an issue.  

Sometimes when I read your posts I wonder....well, I can't say it bc I will most likely be banned.  I will say this - I've yet to understand why people compare little kids to adults.  It's not even apples to oranges.  It's like apples to monkeys or something. 

KGB, yes, do worry about boredom.   Do you know that 4-5 yr olds to when they are bored sitting at a desk?  They don't learn.  They start moving and talking and playing and completely forget where they are - meaning that they need to pay attention, etc.  At that age, it's hard enough to hold their attention, and THAT much harder if they are bored. 

And Rae, I had EXACTLY the same problem.  I was too bored early on and had a HECK of a time when I actually needed to study - I never learned "how".

[swamp]

I have a 6 year old in first grade who is bored, and as a result he will not STFU in class. 

[whoisjohngalt]

Of course not.  My mom got called to school so many times during those early years, that some people thought she was working there.  I knew all the basics we were learning - and it's not like they would just let me sit and read a book.  So, I wanted to chat.

[Shooby]

"I have a 6 year old in first grade who is bored, and as a result he will not STFU in class."

Yes, and there is a lesson to be learned here, one of self control.  There is always something to be learned. 

[raeoflyte]

I don't know how well young kids can put that lesson to use though. We raise our kids like our dogs, and the harder they have worked physically and mentally the better behaved both are.

[wvugurl26]

I was bored as hell in school and as a result hit college with next to no study skills or attention span. I hardly ever had to pay attention. And then I got to college with a load of honors classes and heavy science/math load. It was a disaster. I was also one of the youngest as my birthday is in July.

My brother has an early December birthday and as a result was held back. Same thing with him except he didn't do the work. He skated by with Cs. He's smarter than me when he wants to try. He blew the ACTs/SATs out of the water without studying and with a hangover. His standardized test scores were outstanding. He missed zero math questions on the two math parts one year. His math teacher almost killed him because he was barely passing her class.

That's a hard decision kgb. I'd try out the 3 day preschool and see where you are after that.

[973beachbum]

This is a hard decision and one every parent has to make thinking about their child only.  When my Dd was little I worried about it as she had a Sept birthday.  

I think when these things come up people talk about kids being "bored" in school.  The problem is that being bored doesn't mean the work isn't hard enough.  It could be but it could also be that the work is boring.  It could be that the teacher isn't that engaging.  It could be that they just aren't ready to be in a class for 7 hours a day doing the work that is expected of them.

There is also a movement to "red shirt" kids.  There is a big advantage to being the oldest, biggest and smartest kid in the class.  IME the child who goes through Kindergarten leaps and bounds ahead of all the other kids and ready to read Shakespear, and the kid who can't name the letter of the alphabet that starts with A, will end up in the same place in 3rd or 4th grade 99% of the time. 

So my best advice is to do what is best for all of you as a family, with the knowedge that no matter what you choose she will probably do just fine.

I am almost convinced that my kids have done just fine inspite of our decisions, not because of them, 99% of the time.

[raeoflyte]

What will the third day a week in preschool provide? Does it help with daycare arrangements? I don't think a third day would make much of a difference socially since she is already doing well.

Is the preschool part of the public school kindergarten? So will she move with her current friends if she goes the public school route?

I think if you can stick with half days, that is better for the kids (this is what my friends who have taught preschool and kindergarten say) because they just dont have the attention span for whole day.

My thought on kindergarten is to think about if you want her to be the youngest or oldest of her peer group. If she is the youngest she's likely to be getting rides from other teen drivers more than if she was the oldest and doing the driving.

Our plan is to enter the kids in public school based on the school cut off but enroll them in outside tutoring. Hopefully that will help us nail down problem areas, and give more challenging assignments for things they excel at.

[Sam_2.0]

It is situations like these that make home school sound more & more appealing than ever. Who says school has to start in September? Why not March? Just depends on when that kid is ready for it.

But then I remember that if I home school, I have to be the teacher. And that just makes me tired even thinking about it

[kgb18]

What will the third day a week in preschool provide? Does it help with daycare arrangements? I don't think a third day would make much of a difference socially since she is already doing well.

Mostly I was thinking about sending her just because she really likes pre-school and likes the crafts and learning things, and it is only 3 hours a day. My MIL helps us with babysitting when DH or I can't be home with the kids, so it's not a childcare issue.

KGB, yes, do worry about boredom.   Do you know that 4-5 yr olds to when they are bored sitting at a desk?  They don't learn.  They start moving and talking and playing and completely forget where they are - meaning that they need to pay attention, etc.  At that age, it's hard enough to hold their attention, and THAT much harder if they are bored. 

Yes. Being bored at home is a totally different ball of wax rather than being bored at school. And I know that this next thing I'm going to say is going to come off sounding bad no matter how I say it and will probably elicit a bunch of , but I'll take my chances. While I'm certainly not saying my DD is a Sheldon Cooper-like genius, she is incredibly bright and may need more of an academic challenge in school.

I think we probably will send her three days next year, and then rely on her teacher to provide us with some guidance for the following year.

[whoisjohngalt]

"I have a 6 year old in first grade who is bored, and as a result he will not STFU in class."

Yes, and there is a lesson to be learned here, one of self control.  There is always something to be learned. 

Oh for crying out loud - yeah, you are right, it is SO realistic that a 6 yr old is going to sit there and start contemplating life and all the lessons to be learned from just sitting there and not learning anything new from the teacher.    Not to mention, why bother challenging our kids, right?  Let's just put them in an environment where they can learn by NOT LEARNING ANYTHING NEW!!!!  Bc, really - that's what you are suggesting.

[econstudent]

kgb, I agree that being bored at home and school are two different things. It's not as if a kid can go off on their own and think creatively about what to do to occupy themselves if they get bored at school. They either get it trouble for being disruptive, or just sit there and daydream. I believe you that Avery may need some extra challenges to keep her interested. She sounds like a very bright girl from how you've described her. Good plan to go with the teacher's guidance. 

[Shooby]

 I mean, do you all really think your kids are so much farther advanced than the other kids that they are going to be "bored"?  I don't know.  I never had that fear.  Personally, i find that people who complain of being "bored" are often people who don't know how to apply themselves.  I have never been "bored".   And, i was the class Salutatorian and i still never found any class to be boring.  Yeah, there were times when they would go over and over concepts but i guess i always found something new to memorize or apply. 

[yogiii]

kgb - I have a September birthday so I was always one of the youngest in class, it was never an issue for me.  If it were me, I'd shoot for enrolling her in public 1st grade when she's 5 about to turn 6.  If something happens in between where you decide to hold her back, ok, but it sounds to me like she'd be fine as one of the younger ones.

[Deleted]

Sam, we need to have some conversations

[Wisconsin Beth]

bumped due to question on the pregnancy thread on holding a preschooler back due to summer b-day. 

[alabamagal]

Here the cutoff is Sept 1.  My youngest was due on Sept 1, but held on until Sept 13th.  He never went to preschool, as we had in-home DCP.  He started reading before his 4th birthday.  We put him in private school so he could start before his 5th birthday.  I kept thinking "If he was a premie, he would be a grade ahead". 

The school had a 1/2 day K-5 so he went to that.  By going a 1/2 day he missed lunch, nap/quiet time and recess.  He was at the top of his class in K-5 and his teacher was shocked that he could really read, I think she thought I was exaggerating.  He made it all the way through school and is currently in college.

Issues - as a teenager.  "Mom, it's not fair that everyone in my class can get a driver's license before me."  When asked if he wanted to be held back a grade, it was a definite no.

Sports - he played high school football and was a lineman.  As a freshman, he was 5'7" and 170 pounds.  As a senior he was 6'2" 245 pounds.  He grew late and was still growing after high school.  Since so many kids are held back, he was playing against kids who could be up to 2 years older.  He had the possibility to be recruited for football, and his age was hurting him some, but he decided not to pursue it.   He is now 6'4" and down below 200 lbs. and I am glad he did not do football and have to be 300 lbs.