Compromise, compromise... what do you think?

[Deleted]

My wife and I have been looking into moving... and we have been looking around. The issue was that she got a bit spoiled with our current apartment complex that is considered luxury apartment complex.

Our apartment comes with washer/dryer, up to date appliances, granite counter top, wood burning fireplace, 2 bedrooms/2 bathroom at a nice price tag of $1,670.

Also we have access to an indoor/outdoor basketball courts, 2 tennis courts, kids/dog playground, small gym, 2 pools (one kiddie one), great maintenance staff, etc.

I will admit, it is nice living here but it does eat into our savings goals, and within 6 months I realize something had to give. At that price we could rent a whole house in our area or find 1-2 bedroom for a bit cheaper.

I was hoping to find to get into an apartment that would costs us less than $1,150 (so savings us at least $500) but everything we looked at had something she did not like (no washer/dryer, no convenient parking, etc).

She offered a compromise: we move into the 1 bedroom apartment in our complex that will come at $1,310... we have two options:
-> move into the apartment now or next month and pay $500 (for braking the lease) plus an extra $350 for our dog (both non refundable) and per my wife calculations, we will recuperate that 500 by June 15 when our lease is up ($ 360 X 4 = 1440)
-> Or wait till June to move and this way we will not need to pay the 500, just the $350 for our dog (we need to pay the deposit again for the dog since it will be a new apartment).

And just so we are clear, we do have the money available, so it will not be hard or a strain on our budget to move next month if we wanted to (yes that include movers costs, etc).

So here is the downside:
-> we will have to find storage for the extra things we have (my mom volunteered her basement) or pay storage.
-> The bathroom is in the master bedroom which is weird to us, don't get that. So a guest will need to come into our bedroom to use the bathroom
-> Pay the extra $500 if we decide to move before June but we more than make it up in rent payments ($360/month in savings)

Upside:
-> We don't need to come up with the money to pay for a deposit, first month rent, last month rent again (which will run about 3k depending on the apartment we rent).
-> Still close to my wife job (takes her 10 minutes to get to work)
-> Only 2 minutes from I-84 which makes it easier to get to anywhere we need to go.
-> we get to keep all the amenities: washer/dryer, wood burning fire place, kitchen and all the other things that come with living here (pool, gym, etc)

Also since I know the question will come up, we will not just squander away the money... the plan is to put:
-> an extra $250 toward the 7K credit card debt we have
-> $110 will go toward our savings.

We have cut down a lot in the past couple of months and have been better with our spending and yes it is still a work in progress.

I figure this way she gets to stay here which she is in love with and I get to have what I want somewhat (extra $360 to throw toward debt and savings). She will have to do with one less bedroom (thank god for me, her mother will visit less) and I will have to do will less savings (was seriously hoping for a savings of $500 or more per month).

What do you say? Also we are cutting back on traveling, only going to Vegas this year since we canceled it last December (about 2K or so for a week), and postponed Europe for next year (will costs about 6K for the two of us).

Going to Dominican/Haiti for the wedding is still up in the air: since it is her best friend and maid of honor getting married we might have to go and thinking that will be another 1K or so (we have family in both the Dominican Republic and Haiti so will not have to pay for a Hotel, just traveling costs, etc)

[Deleted]

oh yeah forgot... I will post some expenses and income. At work so don't have all the details but here:

Income:
-> Me: 53K
-> Wife: 42K
Income are not fix since we both get paid hourly and sometimes we have overtime.

Biggest Expenses:
-> Rent : $1,670
-> 2008 Kia Sportage (mine) : $450/month (will be done paying it in 2 years and intend to drive it to the ground
-> 2010 Honda Civic: $250/month
-> Student Loans: $1100 or so (About $800 for my wife student loans and $300 for mine)

-> I am up for a promotion next year and my wife was using that as a reason why we could keep our apartment. But like I told her I did not get the job yet (even if it is somewhat of a guarantee) and my new promotion is a salary position with bonus at the end of the year... but no overtime.

So I may end up making less than I am making now if we count overtime (I can easily make over 65K or so a year if I were to work overtime ever week while this position is a straight 55-60K salary postion but I would be moving up the corporate ladder). I also try not to work any overtime currently since I am trying to spend more time with my wife.. haven't work any overtime in two months (and I do realise the more time we spend together, the less she spends since we are mostly together if we are not at work).

- I am up for a review in June will give me the typical 2-3% raise and my wife is up for her review this month (6 months review) and another one in september. Not sure if she will get a raise for her 6 month review.

[❤ mollymouser ❤]

I think your wife's compromise of moving apartments within your complex, saving you $360 per month (vs. the $500 per month you want to save) seems reasonable.... especially if you go for the free basement storage option.

As to moving sooner v. later ... that seems like a toss-up. Is there a 1 bedroom unit available now that you really like, or do you want to wait for your lease to be up to see which 1 bedroom (if any?) is available. What if there isn't a 1 bedroom available then? Are you then stuck? To me, location of an available 1 bedroom within a larger complex might be a deciding factor for me. Also, how's the weather NOW for moving (or in a month or two) v. June? (Here, it would be 105 degrees in June ... but moving now might be rainy. What's your weather like?) And do you have friends helping you to move that are more available now v. later?

In the meantime, I suppose you can always look for more ways to streamline your overall budget ... shopping around for insurance/adjusting deductibles, etc.

[Deleted]

Feb 9, 2011 23:21:02 GMT -5 ❤ mollymouser ❤ said:

I think your wife's compromise of moving apartments within your complex, saving you $360 per month (vs. the $500 per month you want to save) seems reasonable.... especially if you go for the free basement storage option.

As to moving sooner v. later ... that seems like a toss-up. Is there a 1 bedroom unit available now that you really like, or do you want to wait for your lease to be up to see which 1 bedroom (if any?) is available. What if there isn't a 1 bedroom available then? Are you then stuck? To me, location of an available 1 bedroom within a larger complex might be a deciding factor for me. Also, how's the weather NOW for moving (or in a month or two) v. June? (Here, it would be 105 degrees in June ... but moving now might be rainy. What's your weather like?) And do you have friends helping you to move that are more available now v. later?

In the meantime, I suppose you can always look for more ways to streamline your overall budget ... shopping around for insurance/adjusting deductibles, etc.

I believe that would be the risk we would be taking with waiting till June... the possibility of a 1 bedroom appartment being available while now they currently have one that is available that we could move into next month.

As for the weather, the biggest issue right now would be the possibility of snow on the day we would schedule to move. We have no family close by so we would probably hire movers.

[michelyn8]

I agree the compromise sounds fair. Having the bathroom in/off the bedroom in a one bedroom apartment is fairly standard in the newer complexes I think. It was like that in the one my son had a few years ago.

As for the moving, you could ask the complex to allow you access to the new apartment a week before you officially move in so that you can take your time transferring from one unit to the other. They don't have to let you do that, but its worth asking. The complex my son lived in let him do this when he decided to take on a roommate and move into a larger unit (splitting rent on that was cheaper than the one bedroom). Also, that way, you don't have to pay a mover to move you less than a mile (a large, unnecessary expense if you ask me). A small U-Haul truck ran me about $125 (including refilling the tank beore return) for 24 hours last year when I moved. I picked it up on Friday after work and returned it Saturday afternoon. The wife shouldn't be above helping you move the larger pieces the day you take possession if you agree to this.

Just a suggestion, but if you only owe less than $1200 combined on your student loans, I'd take the first 3-4 months of what you'll save in rent and pay those off. That will free up those payments for your savings/credit card paydown goals.

[telephus44]

I also think that the compromise sounds reasonable, and I'd be inclined to wait until June to avoid the break lease $500. Also, that would give you more time to get your stuff stored.

And just a thought - did you have to put down a $350 deposit for the dog in your current apartment? If so, then you should get it back when you "move," assuming that your dog didn't cause any damages.

[cytoglycerine]

Feb 9, 2011 20:29:02 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

-> The bathroom is in the master bedroom which is weird to us, don't get that. So a guest will need to come into our bedroom to use the bathroom

Personally, for me, this fact alone would be a deal breaker. No one, other than me and hubby is allowed in our bedroom...because it's just FAR too messy!

Feb 9, 2011 20:29:02 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

She will have to do with one less bedroom (thank god for me, her mother will visit less)

Bahahahahah!


But then this tips the scales right back to even! I dunno, that's a tough call...That bathroom thing is really strange. Any chance you can find a similar apartment for a similar price that has the bathroom in the proper place?

[Cookies Galore]

We have no family close by so we would probably hire movers.

Pizza and beer. Call your friends and pay them in pizza and beer.

We moved just a couple of blocks in September and rented a small box truck (10'?) from Uhaul. We had it six hours and paid $54. I would imagine you could do something similar.

[resolution]

It sounds like a decent compromise to me. If you break the lease and move early you should recoup the $850 in a little over two months. How does your wife feel about moving early? Does she need the extra time to prepare or is she ready to move now? I am thinking that might be a good idea to move now if there is a chance she will change her mind before June.

[reader79]

I think that this move is a compromise that you both can live with, I was worried about how your wife would deal with moving out of your current place. I don't think that I would call her spoiled, but she had become accustomed to a certain standard of living. And to quote from the Real Housewives of New Jersey, 'Happy wife, happy life.'

Have you thought about selling what you cannot fit into the new apartment? Why pay storage or clutter up your mom's place. I would move as soon as possible, it sounds like one-bedrooms are hard to come by in this place.

[ohmomto2boys]

Have you thought about selling what you cannot fit into the new apartment? Why pay storage or clutter up your mom's place. I would move as soon as possible, it sounds like one-bedrooms are hard to come by in this place.

I agree with this. How long do you plan to continue to rent? Plus if you unload some "stuff" it would be less to move around in the future.

Good luck!

[thyme4change]

Hire movers? Rent a truck? Just rent a couple hand-trucks. My friend was renting a house and bought one down the street. We just put her furniture on a dolly and walked it down the street. We did throw some boxes and stuff in the truck. We all brought our suitcases over and literally stuff their clothes in them, dragged them down to the new house and hung them back up. Stairs mess up that plan - but whatever.

I agree that placement within a complex is pretty important.

[Cookies Galore]

Feb 10, 2011 10:27:05 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

Hire movers? Rent a truck? Just rent a couple hand-trucks. My friend was renting a house and bought one down the street. We just put her furniture on a dolly and walked it down the street. We did throw some boxes and stuff in the truck. We all brought our suitcases over and literally stuff their clothes in them, dragged them down to the new house and hung them back up. Stairs mess up that plan - but whatever.

We moved from the top of one hill to the bottom of another. I think it would have been fun (and potentially dangerous) to put our things on a dolly and go wheeeeee down the hill! ;D

[thyme4change]

They are moving within the same complex. I don't know how large the complex would be, but putting something into a rented u-haul and then driving over 30 parking spaces and taking the thing out seems useless.

[Cookies Galore]

Feb 10, 2011 11:10:21 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

They are moving within the same complex. I don't know how large the complex would be, but putting something into a rented u-haul and then driving over 30 parking spaces and taking the thing out seems useless.

Yes, it is. But I still want to ride a dolly down hill.

[msgumby]

We had a bathroom thorugh the bedroom for 2 years and it really wasn't much of an issue. I thought it would be weird at first, but mostly it was fine. The only drawbacks are that you have to make your bedroom presentable before having friends over, be careful about closing the bathroom door at night to avoid odors permeating into the bedroom, and leave your bedroom door open if you have a guest crash on your couch. If those are things you are ok with, then it shouldn't be a problem.

For moving, I would suggest hiring some moving helpers. We got 2 guys for about 50/hour (+ tip) - or about 25/person/hour. We did all the light moving and they did all the furniture and heavy stuff. They were very experienced and able to move our "problem" items quickly and easily. They saved us a ton of time and energy and were not very expensive. I think we needed about 3-4 hours for loading, driving, and unloading in a 1 bedroom apartment.

[Cookies Galore]

I don't think the bathroom in the bedroom would bother me too much. In our last apartment, the bathroom opened directly into the small living room. I didn't like using it when we had people over. They can, like, hear you and stuff.

[hoops902]

Sounds like a fair compromise, and hearing some of the relationship fights on the board, I think I'd jump at it. Best case scenario is that you live in a smaller place and she decides she'd prefer an extra bedroom with the extra space over the current amenities and you move to a cheaper 2 bedroom that you were wanting in the next year or two.

[dividend]

$1,310 is still pretty outrageous for a 1 BR apartment. And moving is a huge hassle, especially since you've mentioned that your wife is a nester. It's very likely that if you make this move, she won't even want to discuss moving to something even cheaper in the future, because she already compromised with you on this issue once. It does save a decent bit of money, but to me, it wouldn't be enough. With almost $2k/month in minimum payments on your debt, which looks like it eats up >1/3 of your take home pay, I would put my foot down and find a new place to live that actually saved real money, not catered to pampered wife's fantasies about compromise (especially since more than half that debt is hers).

[Deleted]

How much do you and your wife use the amenities other than the washer/dryer? I've lived in complexes with swimming pools, clubhouse, tennis courts, and exercise facilities. I think the only thing I tried to use was the treadmill, and there was always someone on it. There were only four.

I understand that compromise is important in a marriage, but I'd make sure that I was getting my money's worth with either apartment. Does your wife not see herself in her own home someday? How does she picture that happening?

[8 Bit WWBG]

...:::"I believe that would be the risk we would be taking with waiting till June... the possibility of a 1 bedroom appartment being available while now they currently have one that is available that we could move into next month":::...

Not only that, June - Aug seems to be when most people move, so the rates are at their highest. I remember a neighbor in my old apartment complex who moved in during February, and her rent was less just because of that.

I say move, and move now. You'll pay a bit up front, but you will get yourselves secured in that cheaper apartment before your wife changes her mind.

...:::"If so, then you should get it back when you "move," assuming that your dog didn't cause any damages. ":::...

Even though they are called "deposits" and not "fees", it seems standard practice that they are not refundable. Its much harder to fight a large corporation on that. I know individual landlords are encouraged to call anything they don't want to refund "a fee".

I'm not sure how much better a deal you can get. You get to stay in the same location (which was a big deal for your commutes). You get to have the same amenities (and you NEVER want to give up your own washer/dryer once you have one). And the rent different is low enough to make it worthwhile ($360/mo). Do it!

[8 Bit WWBG]

...:::"$1,310 is still pretty outrageous for a 1 BR apartment. And moving is a huge hassle, especially since you've mentioned that your wife is a nester. It's very likely that if you make this move, she won't even want to discuss moving to something even cheaper in the future, because she already compromised with you on this issue once. It does save a decent bit of money, but to me, it wouldn't be enough. With almost $2k/month in minimum payments on your debt, which looks like it eats up >1/3 of your take home pay, I would put my foot down and find a new place to live that actually saved real money, not catered to pampered wife's fantasies about compromise (especially since more than half that debt is hers). ":::...

Hey div, haven't heard from your recently!

If you've been following cawiau's saga for a while, it sounds like for every potential solution, there is a reason it won't work. There is nothing that seems to give every party everything they want. Everything is either too expensive, not nice enough, or would increase one of their commutes.

You make an excellent point though that if they do move, she may very well feel like she has already compromised once.

[Deleted]

Feb 10, 2011 17:28:10 GMT -5 8 Bit WWBG said:

Oh, and was I right about my guess about your screen name on the other thread?

Yes you did... first two letters of first name, middle name and last name

[Firebird]

Personally, for me, the bathroom in the bedroom aspect wouldn't be worth $300. That is a dealbreaker for me. My bedroom is just as clean as the rest of the house, but it's Sanctuary to me, and very private. No one except me and DBF is allowed in there (they can pop their head in to see it, but they can't hang out in there and it would really bother me to have it on the path to the bathroom).

However, if the bathroom could be separate, I think it would be worth it to me. So if that aspect doesn't bother you, maybe go for it. I say that because compromise plays a significant role in this equation, and because a 1br for two (partnered) people really ought to be enough. Use the opportunity to get rid of some extra junk.

We have a $1,370 one-bedroom so we're likely in a similar COLA. My ceiling was $1,500 for rent when we were picking out a place and we make about $10k more than you guys. So I totally know how you feel, and I think $1,670 is too high for your current situation-- but $1,310 would be okay.

[Firebird]

Feb 10, 2011 13:53:21 GMT -5 Cookies Galore said:

I don't think the bathroom in the bedroom would bother me too much. In our last apartment, the bathroom opened directly into the small living room. I didn't like using it when we had people over. They can, like, hear you and stuff.

ROFL! ;D Meghan, so glad you made it onto the lifeboat. Is that picture actually of you?

[Firebird]

How much do you and your wife use the amenities other than the washer/dryer? I've lived in complexes with swimming pools, clubhouse, tennis courts, and exercise facilities. I think the only thing I tried to use was the treadmill, and there was always someone on it. There were only four.

This is a good point. We could live without the pool, easily (and although we love the hot tub, we've used it maybe five times since April so we could do without that as well).

However, our rent would be worth it even if it covered ONLY the three additional amenities out of which we get the most use: washer/dryer, dishwasher, and free parking. We have one covered spot, but there's always plenty of non-covered spots that the second driver can use, right behind our place. Parking is never, absolutely never, an issue. I cannot explain in words how great that is, and how much of an issue it would be if we lived elsewhere.

For example, if we lived in the city where I work, we MIGHT be able (with incredible luck) to find a place with roommates and pay what we pay now for rent, but we'd easily pay an extra $500 just for parking. Don't even want to think about the hassle and expense of doing laundry outside the home.

[Deleted]

Firebird, that is the difference in locales. I've never lived anywhere where you had to pay for parking, and I had all the amenities in some. Dishwashers are standard as are fridges and stoves. To be honest, if you aren't dealing with a duplex or triplex or someone's mother-in-law suite, the pool is as well.

But washer/dryer hookups aren't . . . particularly in one-bedrooms. You pay extra for complexes that have those here. I agree that once you have that amenity, it is difficult to give it up. But a lot of the others are pretty meaningless unless you really use them. You think, "Wow, I have access to a clubhouse to host parties." Then you discover you have to reserve it and pay a cleaning fee.

After my divorce, I didn't have a washer/dryer. I got in the habit of doing most of my laundry on the weekend, which I still do. It's not quite the same thing as sitting at the laundromat, but it's the same mindset. I still hang all my "good" clothes to dry so that the dryer doesn't ruin them as well.

[TheOtherMe]

I lived in a 2 bedroom/2 bath apartment before buying my house and you had to go through either bedroom to get to either bathroom. Didn't bother me in the least.

I had opted for this complex because they had washer/dryer hook ups and I owned my washer and dryer. That was very important to me. I had an option of renting a carport for $15 a month and I did that so I never had to park three buildings over. If I came home late, there would be no available spaces near my building, so that would be very important.

The other amenities they had were not the reason I chose that complex. It wasn't considered luxury because they didn't have all those extras that bring the higher rent.

However, now they remodeled all of the units and I hear the rents increased on all tenants by $200 per month. I would have moved over that.

[alabamagal]

Have you talked to your landlord about "breaking the lease". To me if you are moving from one apartment to another, you are still paying money for rent (yes it will be less, but they still have a tenant). We did this many years ago, we had been in an apartment for about 3 months when I got a job offer and had to move ~200 miles. The company that owned our apartment had a complex in the new city, we looked around and liked it and was able to move without "breaking the lease" since we were still tenants. Our manger was also, by coincidence, transferring to the new complex, so that may have been why we could do it.

Would also have the same discussion about the pet (no new deposit)

You won't know until you ask.

[Cookies Galore]

Feb 10, 2011 18:14:12 GMT -5 Firebird said:

Feb 10, 2011 13:53:21 GMT -5 Cookies Galore said:

I don't think the bathroom in the bedroom would bother me too much. In our last apartment, the bathroom opened directly into the small living room. I didn't like using it when we had people over. They can, like, hear you and stuff.

ROFL! ;D Meghan, so glad you made it onto the lifeboat. Is that picture actually of you?

Hooray! Firebird! Yes, that is me. My face photoshopped over the "Migrant Mother" picture.