The Attraction towards "Bad Girls"

[Robert not Bobby]

Hey, what's fair is fair.

First of all, what is a "bad girl"...some humble, run of the mill, definition will do...and:

Guys, why are or aren't you attracted to them?

And ladies, where do you see yourself fitting in that spectrum of good girl/bad girl...and what do you see yourself doing five years from now...I jest.

No, this is not an interview, just a non-scientific survey.

I hope to see at least three or four responses in the next 24 hours.

Later...

[Peace Of Mind]

 Bad Girls, Bad Girls.  Watcha gonna do?  Whatcha gonna do when they come for you? 

Shouldn't you be telling us the answer?  I'm not attracted to girls except on the internet.  I like funny, sassy, smart ass drinking types.  If they cook and shop for me that's a bonus. 


ETA:  I almost forgot to tell you!  I named our stray cat we've been feeding.  His name is Bobby not Robert. 

[kittensaver]

Well back when I was in high school and college, the "bad girls" were the ones who deliberately set out to steal the boyfriends of the "good girls." They did it by offering no-strings-attached, um, adventuresome sexual favors, figuring the guy would jump at the chance to get some - and they were almost always right. But it was really about the thrill of trumping and dissing the girlfriend, not at all about wanting the boy. The boy usually got left in the dust by BOTH girls.

Or he just went out and found another bad girl . . . . men are such simple creatures! (God love you guys . . . )

[Otto the Orange]

I once dated this woman that liked to hit me very hard.

OH NO!

[Deleted]

SMOOSH

[Deleted]

You rang? 

[Otto the Orange]

Mar 14, 2013 9:18:44 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

SMOOSH

Actually it's a Squoosh............

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

[Reckless Roselia]

Mar 13, 2013 18:14:23 GMT -5 kittensaver said:

Well back when I was in high school and college, the "bad girls" were the ones who deliberately set out to steal the boyfriends of the "good girls." They did it by offering no-strings-attached, um, adventuresome sexual favors, figuring the guy would jump at the chance to get some - and they were almost always right. But it was really about the thrill of trumping and dissing the girlfriend, not at all about wanting the boy. The boy usually got left in the dust by BOTH girls.

Or he just went out and found another bad girl . . . . men are such simple creatures! (God love you guys . . . )

I like this reasoning. 

[Deleted]

Mar 13, 2013 17:15:51 GMT -5 Robert not Bobby said:

Hey, what's fair is fair.

First of all, what is a "bad girl"...some humble, run of the mill, definition will do...and:

Guys, why are or aren't you attracted to them?

And ladies, where do you see yourself fitting in that spectrum of good girl/bad girl...and what do you see yourself doing five years from now...I jest.

No, this is not an interview, just a non-scientific survey.

I hope to see at least three or four responses in the next 24 hours.

Later...

Robert you already know.
When I'm good, I'm very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better!




I think a bit of both good and bad makes life interesting don't you?

[Robert not Bobby]

All good answers, some amusing and some close to the heart of the matter…but I think I didn’t get it quite right.

 

I don’t think “bad girls” is what I was after…there really is no direct, interchangeable definition which captures the essence of a bad boy in the female form. You ladies are our better half (shhhh, don’t tell anyone I said that).

 

Maybe I meant “mean girls”, or “tough chicks”, or maybe “an easy lay”, or maybe a "gold digger”, or maybe a "bimbo with an attitude"?

 

Personally, I’ve always had a place reserved in my heart and other parts of my body for an easy bimbo. Naa, that’s not me…I like a challenge…I seem to gravitate towards the “stuck up bitches”.

 

I better stop before I dig the hole even deeper…you know I’m joking and just keeping it light.

 

Interesting though, the descriptive terms that we apply to certain personality types, for both men and women. At least it is interesting to me.

 

Oh, oh, I forgot, passive/aggressive whiny princess. LOL

 

 

 

 

[Deleted]

Mar 14, 2013 16:08:33 GMT -5 Robert not Bobby said:

All good answers, some amusing and some close to the heart of the matter…but I think I didn’t get it quite right.

 

I don’t think “bad girls” is what I was after…there really is no direct, interchangeable definition which captures the essence of a bad boy in the female form. You ladies are our better half (shhhh, don’t tell anyone I said that).

 

Maybe I meant “mean girls”, or “tough chicks”, or maybe “an easy lay”, or maybe a "gold digger”, or maybe a "bimbo with an attitude"?

 

Personally, I’ve always had a place reserved in my heart and other parts of my body for an easy bimbo. Naa, that’s not me…I like a challenge…I seem to gravitate towards the “stuck up bitches”.

 

I better stop before I dig the hole even deeper…you know I’m joking and just keeping it light.

 

Interesting though, the descriptive terms that we apply to certain personality types, for both men and women. At least it is interesting to me.

 

Oh, oh, I forgot, passive/aggressive whiny princess. LOL

 

 

 

 

could you be meaning: A femme fatale is a mysterious and seductive woman^[1] whose charms ensnare her lovers in bonds of irresistible desire, often leading them into compromising, dangerous, and deadly situations. She is an archetype of literature and art. Her ability to entrance and hypnotise her victim with a spell was in the earliest stories seen as being literally supernatural; hence, the femme fatale today is still often described as having a power akin to an enchantress, seductress, vampire, witch, or demon, having some power over men.

[damnotagain]

I have not met a women yet that doesn't like a ill smack on the ass. Some just a little harder than others. 

[damnotagain]

Thin line between pleasure and pain ! Lol , never mind. Better leave this alone.

[damnotagain]

Lol, to funny snowbird! Great choice.

[Deleted]

Mar 14, 2013 17:29:44 GMT -5 @snowbird said:

Mar 14, 2013 16:08:33 GMT -5 Robert not Bobby said:

Personally, I’ve always had a place reserved in my heart and other parts of my body for an easy bimbo. Naa, that’s not me…I like a challenge…I seem to gravitate towards the “stuck up bitches”.

 

 

 

 

 

Robert,

You sounds like you are attractive to hard to get type... There is not a thing wrong with what you are saying, except your wording..  You just need to have  patience, find your match and willingness to open your heart to find the one you want. And make sure when you find the A lady willing to put up with you, you treat that lady like you want it to be treated.  

Least you know what kind of lady you are attractive to. 

Easy come easy go. That can be very boring.  Good luck!

If you’ve ever been in a relationship with someone emotionally unavailable, you know the pain of not being able to get close to the one you love. They’re evasive, make excuses, or just inept when it comes to talking about feelings or the relationship. Some use anger, criticism, or activities to create distance. You end up feeling alone, depressed, unimportant, or rejected. Usually women complain about emotionally unavailable men. Yet many women aren’t aware they’re emotionally unavailable, too. When you get hooked on someone else who is (think Carrie Bradshaw and Mr. Big) your problem is disguised as his. This keeps you in denial of your own unavailability.

1. Flirting with flattery. Men who are too flattering.  Like snake charmers, these wooers may also be adept listeners and communicators. Often good at short-term intimacy, some allure with self-disclosure and vulnerability, but they prefer the chase to the catch.

2. Control.  Someone who won’t be inconvenienced to modify his or her routine. Typically, commitment phobics are inflexible and loathe compromises. Relationships revolve around them.

3. Listen.  Your date may hint or even admit that he or she isn’t good at relationship or doesn’t believe in or isn’t ready for marriage. Listen to these negative facts and believe them. Ignore vulnerability, bragging, and compliments.

4. The Past.  Find out if the person has had a long-term relationship and why it ended. You may learn that prior relationships ended at the stage when intimacy normally develops.

5. Perfection Seekers.  These people look for and find a fatal flaw in the opposite sex and then move on.  The problem is that they’re scared of intimacy. When they can’t find imperfection, their anxiety rises. Given time, they will find an excuse to end the relationship.  Don’t be tempted to believe you’re better than their past partners.

6. Anger.  Notice rudeness to waiters and others, revealing pent-up rage. This type of person is demanding and probably emotionally abusive.

7. Arrogance.  Avoid someone who brags and acts cocky, signaling low self-esteem. It takes confidence to be intimate and committed.

8. Lateness.  Chronic lateness is inconsiderate, and can also indicate the person is avoiding relationship, but don’t assume that punctuality means he or she’s a catch.

9. Invasiveness or Evasiveness.  Secrecy, evasiveness, or inappropriate questions too soon about money or sex, for example, indicate a hidden agenda and unwillingness to allow a relationship to unfold. Conversely, someone may conceal his or her past due to shame, which may create an obstacle to getting close.

10. Seduction.  Beware of sexual cues given too early. Seducers avoid authenticity because they don’t believe they’re enough to keep a partner. Once the relationship gets real, they’ll sabotage it. Seduction is a power-play and about conquest.

Most people reveal their emotional availability early on. Pay attention to the facts, especially if there’s mutual attraction. Even if the person seems to be Mr. or Mrs. Right, yet is emotionally unavailable, you’re left with nothing but pain. If you overlook, deny, or rationalize to avoid short-term disappointment, you run the risk of enduring long-term misery.

[Deleted]

Wow, not sure how I did that but pretty eh?

[Deleted]

Mar 15, 2013 12:39:46 GMT -5 @snowbird said:

Are you asking me,Apple? Or making a statement to Robert.

Both.

I was thinking that bad boys or bad girls are attractive because they are unavailable perhaps? Emotionally I mean. 
After the good sex there is no connection. Right?    Not always a bad thing but for some it is "heart breaking".

[Reckless Roselia]

Man without respect and kindness toward to woman is not even worth one minute of my time.

 + to humanity. 

[Reckless Roselia]

Hey good to see you too, Princess Snow. 

I'm busy with the shopping ... rest is secondary now. 

I love the thought of the body being the temple and as an Asian myself I know where you come from. I'll only allow those to enter my temple that are truly worth of it. 

[Deleted]

Mar 15, 2013 13:23:56 GMT -5 @snowbird said:

Mar 15, 2013 12:48:46 GMT -5 @joey said:

I was thinking that bad boys or bad girls are attractive because they are unavailable perhaps? Emotionally I mean. 
After the good sex there is no connection. Right?    Not always a bad thing but for some it is "heart breaking".

I always look at my body as my temple, maybe it's Asian female way of thinking.

Maybe some man look at as hard to get type, I really don't know. But my Husband told me many times even after 20 years of marriage, it's still very hard for him second guess what I am thinking.

Guess, it's good thing that he still have to think about my wants and needs after all these years.  Keep the magic alive.


  

That is something I have talked to my teen daughter about at great length. 
The way I see it is that your body is the one thing you have been gifted with to take you through this journey of life so best be kind to it and always respectful.

I would however, never judge a person on how they view themselves or their sexual prowess. Different strokes I suppose.

[Deleted]

Mar 15, 2013 13:55:49 GMT -5 @joey said:

Mar 15, 2013 13:23:56 GMT -5 @snowbird said:

I always look at my body as my temple, maybe it's Asian female way of thinking.

Maybe some man look at as hard to get type, I really don't know. But my Husband told me many times even after 20 years of marriage, it's still very hard for him second guess what I am thinking.

Guess, it's good thing that he still have to think about my wants and needs after all these years.  Keep the magic alive.


  

That is something I have talked to my teen daughter about at great length. 
The way I see it is that your body is the one thing you have been gifted with to take you through this journey of life so best be kind to it and always respectful.

I would however, never judge a person on how they view themselves or their sexual prowess. Different strokes I suppose.

I think respect's not given but have to earn trough our action.
And I agree with what you say about difference in people.

[Robert not Bobby]

Robert,

You sounds like you are attractive to hard to get type... There is not a thing wrong with what you are saying, except your wording..  You just need to have  patience, find your match and willingness to open your heart to find the one you want. And make sure when you find the A lady willing to put up with you, you treat that lady like you want it to be treated.  

Least you know what kind of lady you are attractive to. 

Easy come easy go. That can be very boring.  Good luck!
________________________________________

Snowbird, you are so sweet, but this isn't about me...it is just a frivolous question I threw out there. You know, we are talking about stereotypes, clichés, filters that we see each other through, assumptions we make about people, that sort of thing.

My problem, if it is a problem, is the inability to commit and see it through, at least for now. Since my divorce I've been married again, almost twice, and have been in a string of relationships (shelf life is usually 6 - 18 months...I'm not a one night stand kind of guy).

I love women and I love their company...I get withdrawal symptoms after a month or so...and it's not just for selfish sexual reasons.

Hey, I'm having fun...at least that's what I tell myself.

How much do you charge...will I be lying on some couch and forced to rediscover my childhood?

[Deleted]

My problem, if it is a problem, is the inability to commit and see it through, at least for now. Since my divorce I've been married again, almost twice, and have been in a string of relationships (shelf life is usually 6 - 18 months...I'm not a one night stand kind of guy).

Robert,

I don't know what your divorce was like. But once you have felt the pain of losing someone, or something, and any kind of separation. It usually take quite a long  time to heal and able to trust again. Least that was my experiences in dealing with lost.

I think you will know in time , you are ready to take a chances again or not.

Open your heart to possibility of  being hurt and be  vulnerable again.

[ZaireinHD]

Mar 14, 2013 16:08:33 GMT -5 Robert not Bobby said:

All good answers, some amusing and some close to the heart of the matter…but I think I didn’t get it quite right.

 

I don’t think “bad girls” is what I was after…there really is no direct, interchangeable definition which captures the essence of a bad boy in the female form. You ladies are our better half (shhhh, don’t tell anyone I said that).

 

Maybe I meant “mean girls”, or “tough chicks”, or maybe “an easy lay”, or maybe a "gold digger”, or maybe a "bimbo with an attitude"?

 

Personally, I’ve always had a place reserved in my heart and other parts of my body for an easy bimbo. Naa, that’s not me…I like a challenge…I seem to gravitate towards the “stuck up bitches”.

 

I better stop before I dig the hole even deeper…you know I’m joking and just keeping it light.

 

Interesting though, the descriptive terms that we apply to certain personality types, for both men and women. At least it is interesting to me.

 

Oh, oh, I forgot, passive/aggressive whiny princess. LOL

 

 

 

 

Whoa! for pointing the typs out!

Hmmm....bad girl - bad girl to me at this point?
The chick that drives me crazy just can't make up her mind - she want this then she wants that. But I give or provide this AND that! but then she want the other! LOL WHAT!!

bad girls will take my heart and feelings and twist them up confusing me into such a frustration I have to cry! She is so attractive and grabbing my attention causing me to think about what makes her happy and how can I make her happy? She is so nice to me one day then the day day she is distant.

Bad girls will take and continue to take give back just enough to stay with her.

[Reckless Roselia]

I'm a bad bad girl. I wanna rock your world. 

^ Cannot help myself but sing this song when I enter this thread. 

[grits]

I never have been attracted to bad girls.  Too much drama from them. 

[Deleted]

Mar 16, 2013 8:40:52 GMT -5 ZaireinHD said:

Mar 14, 2013 16:08:33 GMT -5 Robert not Bobby said:

All good answers, some amusing and some close to the heart of the matter…but I think I didn’t get it quite right.

 

I don’t think “bad girls” is what I was after…there really is no direct, interchangeable definition which captures the essence of a bad boy in the female form. You ladies are our better half (shhhh, don’t tell anyone I said that).

 

Maybe I meant “mean girls”, or “tough chicks”, or maybe “an easy lay”, or maybe a "gold digger”, or maybe a "bimbo with an attitude"?

 

Personally, I’ve always had a place reserved in my heart and other parts of my body for an easy bimbo. Naa, that’s not me…I like a challenge…I seem to gravitate towards the “stuck up bitches”.

 

I better stop before I dig the hole even deeper…you know I’m joking and just keeping it light.

 

Interesting though, the descriptive terms that we apply to certain personality types, for both men and women. At least it is interesting to me.

 

Oh, oh, I forgot, passive/aggressive whiny princess. LOL

 

 

 

 

Whoa! for pointing the typs out!

Hmmm....bad girl - bad girl to me at this point?
The chick that drives me crazy just can't make up her mind - she want this then she wants that. But I give or provide this AND that! but then she want the other! LOL WHAT!!

bad girls will take my heart and feelings and twist them up confusing me into such a frustration I have to cry! She is so attractive and grabbing my attention causing me to think about what makes her happy and how can I make her happy? She is so nice to me one day then the day day she is distant.

Bad girls will take and continue to take give back just enough to stay with her.

Z, I think part of the problem is that in trying to please someone by giving them what they want you forget to consider that perhaps they really don't know what they want.

[ZaireinHD]

HEY
Apple!

good point!!

makes a great bad girl don't cha think? 

[Deleted]

Mar 18, 2013 22:00:26 GMT -5 ZaireinHD said:

HEY
Apple!

good point!!

makes a great bad girl don't cha think? 

If you say so.