dancinmama
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Post by dancinmama on Feb 9, 2011 12:18:04 GMT -5
It really would depend on HOW LONG they've been making that kind of income. They might have had a large jump in income over a short period of time - it happened to us. In the last five years, DH's income has doubled. It is doubtful that the above is true. The couple has likely been making a respectable combined income for a very long time. To be honest here, $200,000 combined income for two people is not much either, though it depends on where they live. $3.5 million in net worth at ages 48/40, really is just average. You're probably right, but you never know. In the case sited in the OP, the gal says that she plans to continue working to stay mentally active, so I don't think they are going to have any money problems if they splurge a little.
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Post by ca on Feb 9, 2011 12:21:02 GMT -5
It really would depend on HOW LONG they've been making that kind of income. They might have had a large jump in income over a short period of time - it happened to us. In the last five years, DH's income has doubled. It is doubtful that the above is true. The couple has likely been making a respectable combined income for a very long time. To be honest here, $200,000 combined income for two people is not much either, though it depends on where they live. $3.5 million in net worth at ages 48/40, really is just average. It is not average for Canadian household at ages 48/40 to have 3.5 million in net worth. For their age the average net worth is between $140,000 and $230,000. They have about 20 times the "average" net worth of 48/40 year olds. Source: www.canadiancapitalist.com/wealth-of-canadians-net-worth/Where is your source to back up your ridiculous claim? I'm not sure why anyone is actually responding to you, you reek of what I like to call "Eau d'Trollette"
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dancinmama
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Post by dancinmama on Feb 9, 2011 12:24:43 GMT -5
My parents amassed their wealth through frugality - and then my Dad got cancer. It was quite treatable with surgery, so he didn't even have to go through all that yucky chemo and stuff - but shortly after being given a clean bill of health, he sold his old crappy Nissan and bought a BMW. 2 years later, insisted my Mom gets a Lexus, even though she loved her Camry. The travel internationally every year. Sometimes you can look into the mirror and see a mortal and decide to have a little fun. For my folks it was a combination of good jobs, frugality, and investing. They FINALLY retired at age 65 due to a "golden handshake" retirement deal offered to them. My dad had to "force" the issue with my mom. Thank goodness the deal was really lucrative, otherwise she'd have worked into her 70s. My dad DID pass away from cancer at age 81. They could have had a few more great years of traveling together and just enjoying life if they had retired a few years earlier, but my mom was just too wrapped up in the status of her job.
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Post by Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ on Feb 9, 2011 12:25:10 GMT -5
It is not average for Canadian household at ages 48/40 to have 3.5 million in net worth. For their age the average net worth is between $140,000 and $230,000. They have about 20 times the "average" net worth of 48/40 year olds. Source: www.canadiancapitalist.com/wealth-of-canadians-net-worth/ Where is your source to back up your ridiculous claim? I'm not sure why anyone is actually responding to you, you reek of what I like to call "Eau d'Trollette" Your source reports what people/couples are doing, not what they CAN be doing. And I take offense to your last statement.
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dancinmama
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Post by dancinmama on Feb 9, 2011 12:27:43 GMT -5
It really would depend on HOW LONG they've been making that kind of income. They might have had a large jump in income over a short period of time - it happened to us. In the last five years, DH's income has doubled. It is doubtful that the above is true. The couple has likely been making a respectable combined income for a very long time. To be honest here, $200,000 combined income for two people is not much either, though it depends on where they live. $3.5 million in net worth at ages 48/40, really is just average. It is not average for Canadian household at ages 48/40 to have 3.5 million in net worth. For their age the average net worth is between $140,000 and $230,000. They have about 20 times the "average" net worth of 48/40 year olds. Source: www.canadiancapitalist.com/wealth-of-canadians-net-worth/Where is your source to back up your ridiculous claim? I was thinking the same thing. I thought $3.5M was pretty good at that age, but was unsure of the difference between Canada and the US.
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dancinmama
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Post by dancinmama on Feb 9, 2011 12:31:51 GMT -5
It is not average for Canadian household at ages 48/40 to have 3.5 million in net worth. For their age the average net worth is between $140,000 and $230,000. They have about 20 times the "average" net worth of 48/40 year olds. Source: www.canadiancapitalist.com/wealth-of-canadians-net-worth/ Where is your source to back up your ridiculous claim? I'm not sure why anyone is actually responding to you, you reek of what I like to call "Eau d'Trollette" Your source reports what people/couples are doing, not what they CAN be doing. And I take offense to your last statement. Everything is relative. And what one does vs what one can do is the whole point of the OP. Is it wise to save for the sake of saving at the expense of quality of life? It's not like the gal wants to buy a yacht or anything. All she wants to do is buy a few clothes and go on a few vacations. I think she's earned that AND MORE.
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phil5185
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Post by phil5185 on Feb 9, 2011 12:32:58 GMT -5
I’d really like to see more of the world, maybe Greece or Scotland. Maybe it's not a 'money' thing, maybe he is uncomfortable with travel, interruption of his routine, etc. I don't remember the exact cost - but I'm pretty sure that 3 weeks in Scotland, UK, etc, didn't cost us more than $10,000. And, with a $200k income and a $3.5M NW, the $10,000 would be barely a blip. (Every time we go thru Edmonton we get lost.)
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michelyn8
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Post by michelyn8 on Feb 9, 2011 12:34:54 GMT -5
a net worth of about $3.5-million, mostly in stocks, GICs, bonds and real estate. We maximize our RRSP contributions every year. Though our annual income is over $200,000, we’ve never had a lavish lifestyle – we’ve always driven our cars into the ground. Read more: notmsnmoney.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=finance&action=post&thread=3128&page=1#ixzz1DU4VOwKOI read this and took away that they both work. So I have to ask why the heck can't they compromise and she use part of her income to save for one of those trips and/or the new clothes she wants? However they don't say what each individual income is so there may be some underlying resentment on her part if he is the one making $150k+ a year and she's making less than $40k or vice versa.
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michelyn8
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Post by michelyn8 on Feb 9, 2011 12:46:21 GMT -5
Conversely, how many articles of clothing are enough? Read more: notmsnmoney.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=finance&action=display&thread=3128&page=1#ixzz1DU5YWrKJSomething I ask the BF everytime I have to find room in one of the dressers for something his Mom bought him "on sale/clearance" for only $5. $5 is lunch out one day or a quart of milk and a loaf of bread (with change to spare) for me. I'm not gonna spend in on an article of clothing unless its something I actually need or really, really want (and even then I have the internal argument about other things I should do with the money).
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Post by illinicheme on Feb 9, 2011 12:49:07 GMT -5
Gee, you read it as a woman who overspends? You?? Really?? I'm shocked!!!
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Gardening Grandma
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Post by Gardening Grandma on Feb 9, 2011 12:50:47 GMT -5
if he is the one making $150k+ a year and she's making less than $40k or vice versa.
Occupations: He’s a financial consultant, she’s a technology executive.
I'd say they are probably earning comparable salaries. It seems pretty clear to me from his remarks about growing up in a "very poor family" and "worrying about food on the table" that he's the one with the issue.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Feb 9, 2011 13:39:28 GMT -5
It sounds to me like the guy needs some therapy. He's insecure about not having "enough" and probably can't even explain to himself what "enough" is. That was not the take away I got. It read like the wife was a compulsive spender, who had several closets of perfectly fine clothes, and was someone who ****ed money away frivolously. I think your own personal bias that all women are financially illiterate ninnies who can't control their spending led to that conclusion, IMHO.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Feb 9, 2011 13:41:13 GMT -5
Gee, you read it as a woman who overspends? You?? Really?? I'm shocked!!! As a guy who is twice your age, I have 100 times more experiences than you, and have also dated easily 20 times more women from all walks of life than you ever will dream of. And it sounds like you consistently date morons, which says more about you than women in general.
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Gardening Grandma
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Post by Gardening Grandma on Feb 9, 2011 13:49:32 GMT -5
Gee, you read it as a woman who overspends? You?? Really?? I'm shocked!!! As a guy who is twice your age, I have 100 times more experiences than you, and have also dated easily 20 times more women from all walks of life than you ever will dream of. And it sounds like you consistently date morons, which says more about you than women in general. LOLOL <karma>
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The J
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Post by The J on Feb 9, 2011 13:58:58 GMT -5
Gee, you read it as a woman who overspends? You?? Really?? I'm shocked!!! As a guy who is twice your age, I have 100 times more experiences than you, and have also dated easily 20 times more women from all walks of life than you ever will dream of. Dated easily 20 times more women = can't hold onto a relationship. Not something I'd be bragging about.
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dancinmama
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Post by dancinmama on Feb 9, 2011 14:02:44 GMT -5
I’d really like to see more of the world, maybe Greece or Scotland. Maybe it's not a 'money' thing, maybe he is uncomfortable with travel, interruption of his routine, etc. I don't remember the exact cost - but I'm pretty sure that 3 weeks in Scotland, UK, etc, didn't cost us more than $10,000. And, with a $200k income and a $3.5M NW, the $10,000 would be barely a blip. (Every time we go thru Edmonton we get lost.) Based on what was in the OP, I think it was a money thing. As I remember it, I think the wife had money issues growing up too which is why they are probably still married. I think they are a lot alike, but I think perhaps the wife has started to realize that there is no point in working your butt off to scrimp and save if you don't ever reap the fruits of your labor. It sounds like for years the husband and wife have been on the same page regarding money; now the wife is mentally making some changes about how she views money vs security, while the husband is not. If they can't come together on this issue, I'd be surprised if they are still married in five years. When someone is OCD about saving money, $10,000 might as well be $1M.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 9, 2011 14:04:04 GMT -5
If they've accumulated that much money I'd hardly say she's overspending on anything.
This is a situation that screams for each partner to have some money they don't have to account for. The 2 people sit down and agree on who will contribute what towards joint expenses and savings, etc. and they're each free to do whatever they want with what's left over provided it's not illegal, etc. I know a couple with a very healthy marriage in which one hates travel and the other loves it. The wife travels alone or with friends and he happily stays home. Life is good.
I'm working on a speech for a contest based on the quote "Nobody can take away what you've danced". I wish I could remember the original Spanish. The point is that you have to do a few things that create memories. The wonderful memories of the travel DH and I did over the years with some of our money was one of the things that helped me get through the massive paper losses we suffered in 2007/2008.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 9, 2011 14:57:21 GMT -5
It sounds like she wants to slow down and spend some time with her husband while seeing a little of the world. I wouldn't qualify that as overspending - I have no doubt they could easily do it without dipping into savings.
I'm thinking no amount of money is ever going to be enough to make the husband truly secure. I come from an economically disadvantaged background and now through my husband am very financially blessed. I still worry about money.
Taking a week or two each year to spend time together will get them the one thing they don't seem to have - time with their loved ones. It doesn't matter how long you live you never get enough of that.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Feb 9, 2011 15:01:08 GMT -5
It sounds like she wants to slow down and spend some time with her husband while seeing a little of the world. I wouldn't qualify that as overspending Any spending a woman does is overspending. Remember women only get their hair cut for the social aspect. Imagine the reasons we have for wanting to shop for clothes or wanting to travel
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cronewitch
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Post by cronewitch on Feb 9, 2011 15:09:44 GMT -5
He sounds like a generous loving husband, she may be asking in the wrong way. He is willing to give to charity and sounds like they make sound choices with money most of the time. He really isn't stingy or he wouldn't give to charity, he wants value for money
If she would instead say for my upcoming big birthday I would love a trip to Scotland stay in a castle and buy some sweaters as souvenirs and I need some new clothes for the trip he might just say that is a perfect gift for her.
I find it easier to spend large amounts than to fritter away money. Last night I went to Costco and put back about $6 worth of licorice my mom likes. She bought two small bags Sunday so she didn't need any. But a man was selling furnaces and I need a furnace so wouldn't have a problem buying that for thousands.
The husband might not think they have excess money but still might want to make his dear wife happy for Christmas or birthdays and not think a few thousand is too much to spend on a happy wife, while it is too much to waste.
To replace the family income with investments they will need 25X200K or about 5 million invested and they only have a net worth of 3.5 including things that aren't investments so they still need at least another 2 million. She could explain why she doesn't think they will have a problem saving that much since they will be able to quit saving for retirement so they don't need to replace the entire 200K and may not have a mortgage payment in retirement.
It will be hard to start spending more in little ways because that can get out of control fast but she might convince him to increase the entertainment and travel budget 10K a year and save less for retirement.
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Cookies Galore
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Post by Cookies Galore on Feb 9, 2011 15:17:40 GMT -5
Gee, you read it as a woman who overspends? You?? Really?? I'm shocked!!! As a guy who is twice your age, I have 100 times more experiences than you, and have also dated easily 20 times more women from all walks of life than you ever will dream of. SF, are you saying you have Wilt Chamberlain/Gene Simmons notches on your bedpost? I am shocked!
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Post by ca on Feb 9, 2011 15:59:13 GMT -5
Crone, the 3.5million, left untouched and allowed to grow at even a modest rate of 4-5% would cover their current income in retirement.
Without saving another dime. They have already done all the savings and scrimping. He is not justified here, it's clearly a result of going hungry as a child and he feels he will never be secure financially no matter how much is saved.
They should take the money they save for retirement and spend it on therapy for him.
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Feb 9, 2011 15:59:33 GMT -5
Gee, you read it as a woman who overspends? You?? Really?? I'm shocked!!! As a guy who is twice your age, I have 100 times more experiences than you, and have also dated easily 20 times more women from all walks of life than you ever will dream of. Do I detect traces of groundhog day here? SF doing the same thing over and over does not provide you with more experiences. Try something new, date someone different --- you might find that you actually like it...
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Feb 9, 2011 16:28:51 GMT -5
Savior Faire used to be one of my favorite posters - but now I find that once he starts posting on any given thread it is just a litany of all the financial sins ever made by "women." Without debating the merits of truth - I'm just bored with his self righteousness about the subject. It is never anything new, just the same 'ol, same 'ol about how all women just fritter away money on stupid stuff. Snoozer.
Didn't he use to be interesting?
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Feb 9, 2011 17:24:36 GMT -5
...:::"As a guy who is twice your age, I have 100 times more experiences than you, and have also dated easily 20 times more women from all walks of life than you ever will dream of.":::... This is an interesting mathematical problem. Did SF have these experiences at a constant rate vs The J, or did SF rack up more experience in his later years. Where was SF when he was J's age? Were they tied neck and neck? Is there a "time" multiplier since SF was J's age 20+ years ago? ...:::"Savior Faire used to be one of my favorite posters - but now I find that once he starts posting on any given thread it is just a litany of all the financial sins ever made by "women." Without debating the merits of truth - I'm just bored with his self righteousness about the subject. It is never anything new, just the same 'ol, same 'ol about how all women just fritter away money on stupid stuff. Snoozer. ":::... That used to be my job! Sniff javascript:adds("%20 %20") Well, someone has to take over I guess. SF wasn't one of the women you dated a multimillionaire business owner, who despite having oodles of money, was still miserable? ...:::"He sounds like a generous loving husband, she may be asking in the wrong way.":::... This could be true as well. Asking for the trip as a birthday present might be a better angle. I don't suppose she has actually tried asking him why they can't spend some money on trips and sweaters?
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Feb 9, 2011 17:30:09 GMT -5
Maybe women who fritter away money are more likely to be single at a more advanced age - so he is getting a skewed population.
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The J
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Post by The J on Feb 9, 2011 18:47:56 GMT -5
The more important question is if it's relevant. The controlling factor isn't the number of experiences but the quality thereof.
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jkapp
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Post by jkapp on Feb 9, 2011 21:28:52 GMT -5
Mr grandmother died with a sizeable estate, yet she walked around her house at night with a flashlight in order to save money on electricity.. Your grandma likely lived through the depression. Most likely...my great Aunt lived through it and when she died we found a pile of money (a PILE - like $50k) in her house. She could never get herself back to being comfortable with keeping all her money in a bank.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Feb 9, 2011 21:40:22 GMT -5
The more important question is if it's relevant. The controlling factor isn't the number of experiences but the quality thereof. But according to the tag line on his posts, because he's male, he only talks about relevant things.............
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The J
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Post by The J on Feb 10, 2011 10:15:19 GMT -5
The more important question is if it's relevant. The controlling factor isn't the number of experiences but the quality thereof. But according to the tag line on his posts, because he's male, he only talks about relevant things............. Swamp, I didn't even bother reading your post, since you're a woman and therefore everything you say is irrelevant, irrational and about shoe shopping.
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