singlemomky
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Post by singlemomky on Feb 28, 2013 16:39:12 GMT -5
What chores do you guys have the 9 year olds do? Right now my 9 yr old is supposed to be cleaning his room. All he really did was uncover the stickey stuff on his floor so we can see it. My son brings in the newspaper and the mail each day, has to put his dirty clothes in the laundry basket and bring it to the laundry area when it is time to wash clothes, he has to get his lunch ready at night and he has to feed the cat.
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singlemomky
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Post by singlemomky on Mar 14, 2013 9:35:38 GMT -5
So it is the time of the school year that I have been dreading - science fair projects. DS had to pick a project and turn it in for his teacher to appove. Once she approves it (hopefully today), we have until April 8th to get it done. This is the first year that he has done a science project and I'm not looking forward to the display at all. He'll do fine w/the actual project/experiment, but the tri-fold display will be another thing altogether.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Mar 14, 2013 10:38:06 GMT -5
I think this idea in general is worth talking about, but I'm not sure I would take that tact with LGW. She is still fairly new to the family, so the best thing to do is just stay consistent, and be strong, without being overly harsh. I don't know the gal's background, but to be a ward of the crown, she has probably had people let her down in her lifetime. Harsh punishment from a "new mom" might not go over well. I suspect that Bloomer and LGW are still developing trust (at least the deep trust) and getting super-harsh might be a misstep at this point.
I don't know, because I have obviously (a) never met LGW (b) never met Bloomy (c) never been a foster mom and (d) only been a parent to one 9 year old before, and she is not LGW. But, I know with kids who have been through turmoil and lots of change (having multiple families would be considered a pretty big change) that consistency, consistency, consistency is the slow and steady progress they need. I know there are books out there that promise methods that will "fix" your kids in 72 hours, and I just don't believe it. I guess if you follow them, you might "fix" your parenting skills - but kids need more than a one week solution.[/span]
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 14, 2013 23:58:36 GMT -5
As an update, I agree with thyme and have not gone with harsh punishments. I am consistant with the rules and I don't get hooked by her like I did at first. My biggest thing is not to give her what she wants when she is having a tantrum. Things are improving but it is going to take time. One of our first milestones will be to get past 6 months and she is still living with me. That hasn't happened for her for a couple of years.
She really is a great kid. Smart, witty and nice. When she forgets to be angry that is.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Mar 18, 2013 12:09:58 GMT -5
My 10 year old girl asked what maxi-pads are. I told her I would gladly explain it to her, but not in the aisle at Target. So, I guess I will have the period talk with her this week. Any advice?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 18, 2013 12:14:08 GMT -5
I got nothing. But one of my GF's had her 7 year old ask her what "those things in the bathroom" were and she said she'd tell her when she was older. Little did she know that in less than 3 years she HAD to tell her because her DD needed to use them.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Mar 18, 2013 12:23:12 GMT -5
I'm thinking I will keep it specific, just to periods. I don't think it will crack open the entire barrel of monkeys with sex and stuff. She isn't that kind of kid. I suspect once I explain that, it will be overwhelming enough, and it will take her a few months to get over it and then get the nerve to ask the next questions of "why" and "how"
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Mar 18, 2013 12:26:08 GMT -5
Hey, what age did your girls start clomping around in slippers with a heel? My DD will be 5 in early May and we inherited a pair of slipper things with a no back and a bit of a heel. Beige suede w/ fuzzy insides, if that matters. I think we're going to let DD add them to her dressup clothes as she's outgrown her Belle shoes.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 18, 2013 12:26:18 GMT -5
Is she in 5th grade? Won't they be having "the talk" soon?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 18, 2013 12:27:44 GMT -5
Hey, what age did your girls start clomping around in slippers with a heel? My DD will be 5 in early May and we inherited a pair of slipper things with a no back and a bit of a heel. Beige suede w/ fuzzy insides, if that matters. I think we're going to let DD add them to her dressup clothes as she's outgrown her Belle shoes. DD gets hand-me-down heels from her cousin (IDK where my sister found heels for 7 year olds), but I let her wear them when they fit.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Mar 18, 2013 12:30:29 GMT -5
She's in 4th. I'm guessing she will get the talk next year, but I thought I would cover it, because she asked. My daughter is not prone to sharing with me (or her Dad.) So, I want to make sure she knows that I am not uncomfortable talking about this kind of stuff. My daughter has been playing with my high heels since she could walk. I've given her just about every pair I've ever wanted to discard. Even my son used to clomp around in my high heels when he was in diapers. They made a lot of noise on our laminate flooring, so that was great fun, although he finds the pictures and videos pretty horrifying. [/span]
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Mar 18, 2013 12:37:02 GMT -5
Hey, what age did your girls start clomping around in slippers with a heel? My DD will be 5 in early May and we inherited a pair of slipper things with a no back and a bit of a heel. Beige suede w/ fuzzy insides, if that matters. I think we're going to let DD add them to her dressup clothes as she's outgrown her Belle shoes. DD gets hand-me-down heels from her cousin (IDK where my sister found heels for 7 year olds), but I let her wear them when they fit. Yeah, we're starting to get the handmedowns from my sister's youngest (she's 12) as she's willing to get rid of favored things she was hanging on to. Also from DH's DN, who's about to turn 13. We got a fleecy boa thing and a sort of matching jacket/shrug type thing. I'll wash them and surprise DD with them. She loves her feather boa but it sheds like crazy. I think this will shed less, marginally. Cabe likes the boa too. So having a 2nd one will probably help with some of the arguing.
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singlemomky
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Post by singlemomky on Mar 18, 2013 12:46:58 GMT -5
I've already had some basic sex talk with DS (almost 9)
Thyme - did you mean that you ARE comfortable Not sure since you said "I want to make sure she knows that I am not uncomfortable talking about this kind of stuff."
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Mar 18, 2013 12:57:10 GMT -5
"Comfortable" isn't exactly the word I would use to describe how I feel explaining sex to my kids. Sorry, I know I'm suppose to just be able to say everything in the perfect detail and it not feel awkward, but, I am glad to do it, and will try and make it as comfortable as possible. So, yes, I am NOT uncomfortable. But that doesn't mean I'm actually comfortable. I think my sentence captured what I was trying to say precisely.
My mother was clearly uncomfortable. She called me into a dark room, talked in circles and then handed me a book. I threw the book under my bed and let my friend from down the street tell me everything. I don't want to recreate the situation my mom did, but I don't really have a role model, or a script of what to say. I've looked on a few websites, and it never really tells you what to say. There are always long descriptions of technical terms. I am not going to give her a college level biology class here. I just want to tell her that women bleed for a few days each month. How do I blurt that out without it sounding totally horrifying? All the websites say that toddlers will ask questions, so when they get to be 10, you will have already answered some basics - but my daughter never asked anything. My son once asked if you pooped out a baby, and I explained that there was a different hole that the baby came out of. That is as ready as my kids are - there are two holes in a woman's swimsuit area. But hey, there are actually three. And they were 2 and 4 when he asked that, so he may have forgotten the hole count since then.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 18, 2013 12:59:12 GMT -5
That is as ready as my kids are - there are two holes in a woman's swimsuit area. But hey, there are actually three. And they were 2 and 4 when he asked that, so he may have forgotten the hole count since then. Three holes?? You can probably have surgery to fix that.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Mar 18, 2013 12:59:53 GMT -5
One for pee, one for sex (and babies) and one for poop. There are three holes. It just the pee hole is really small.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 18, 2013 13:02:09 GMT -5
One for pee, one for sex (and babies) and one for poop. There are three holes. It just the pee hole is really small. You learn something new every day.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Mar 18, 2013 13:03:00 GMT -5
Maybe I'm better at explaining this than I thought I would be.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 18, 2013 19:45:51 GMT -5
Archie is the perfect poster to practice on, since he thinks like a 10 year old girl anyway.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Mar 19, 2013 8:01:42 GMT -5
I don't want to think about my baby girl having periods and sex*. So picture me plugging my fingers into my ears and singing Lalalalalalala really badly and offkey.
* She's not even 5, I should have some time.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Mar 19, 2013 9:59:11 GMT -5
And I have another question/concern.
DD will be 5 in early May. She adores all her cousins. DN#6, is from DH's side of the family. She has a crapload of issues going on, some of them you guys know about. She's 13 next week.
Keira mentioned to me yesterday about pinkie swears with DN#6. Part of me is going "What the F is happening/is she telling DD that she's pinkie/pinky (sp?) swearing with Keira?" I don't know if I should push this or leave it. And I forgot to mention it to DH so that's up for tonight.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Mar 19, 2013 11:05:28 GMT -5
At 5, she would probably spill something to you if it was big. But pinky swears are part of the 5-7 year old experience. I used to pinky swear really dumb stuff with my daughter, just to make it feel like we has something between us, so your niece is probably doing the same. But, you could just ask her what she and DN talked about, and see if she panics.
As far as not wanting to think about periods and sex, welcome to the club. It doesn't help any that my daughter is still shaped like she was when she was 5 (except taller.) She is a stick, with absolutely no curves yet. Other girls her age are starting to get a little shape (not really a woman shape, but something.) My daughter is skinny, and just looks like a little girl. She also hasn't shown any signs of being boy crazy, or any of that. She never talked about marrying the little boy in her preschool class (as others did) or anything. So, it is weird to venture towards puberty with her. But alas, I have enjoyed her more every year than I did the year before, so I am not going to assume that it is going to get worse as she grows up. (And that is me sticking my fingers in my ears and saying "Lalalalalalalalalala")
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Mar 19, 2013 11:16:56 GMT -5
I wrote up a post 3 times and all 3 times stupid PB ate all or most of my post. My DD is 17 now but she got her first period at 10. Not to panic anyone but please don't wait to tell them till 5th grade. DS is almost 10 and he has started to get pimples. He is the least ready mature wise of anyone of his friends, too. I did the little mini talks when they were little, like 3. It just seemed easier to talk to them then when they mostly couldn't understand than it is now when they can. I know I'm strange.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Mar 20, 2013 10:03:26 GMT -5
Ok, I clued DH in on the pinky swear thing and when he did bedtime with Keira, he talked to her about it. She's saying they didn't actually make any pinky swears with DN#6.
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