How do you find the right balance?

[restless]

When it comes to saving/investing/living/spending how do you find the right balance for you??

We save money and yes I'm sure that we can find tons of things that we should be saving money for in case they occur but should we??

I'm more of a saver now than I used to be, mostly because of my DH (he's extreme) so we balance each other out very well.

I'm thinking my cultural background has to do with my attitude, I come from a culture that worries a lot about today and enjoying life and not stressing so much, people still succeed but they see the reason for going to school and landing a great job as a way to enjoy the finer things in life, get to see the world,etc.

I'm also willing to take more risks in life, I moved to the US on my own at 20, worked myself thru college and have a great career, I've had to make sacrificies but that's what I signed up for and If tomorrow I have to make more sacrifices then let it be.


I'm sure that's the difference between being wealthy or not, but why do we want to be wealthy?? if we don't get to spend it???

What thrill does being wealthy give you?

I just want to hear your thoughts and see how everyone else balances it out.

[Deleted]

I want security, more than spending, more than anything. I do not want to worry about getting fired or not being able to work. I give myself enough room that I don't snap and spend a ton, aka an allowance and save/invest/pay down debt with the rest.

[Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ]

What thrill does being wealthy give you?


I lived well below my means since the early 90s. Right now I am reaping the benefits of it. When everyone around me is stressed out about losing their jobs and having nothing to fall back on, I am very financially comfortable, and not worried about my job.
When I can tell people to go pound sand, other co-workers have to be obsequious and pusillanimous to management.
Having money(wealth) releases one from having to have to go to work and having to bear the yoke place on you by your management.
You gain respect because you can demand it and not have to worry about being fired.
Having significant wealth provides one with options.

[restless]

Savoir Faire - I agree with you 100%. DH and I understand that very well and that's something we don't worry about. Also, because I'm not afraid to work hard and do whatever I need to do.


The reason I ask this question is because sometimes we take things to an extreme on the frugal/savings side because there's always something we should save money for and we so get used to this that it feels that we have to justify when splurging (this is when I think there's something wrong with us!) Of course, that's also the reason why we are not living in debt.

[cronewitch]

I consider the money I save to be the same as spending to buy freedom of choice. It is a wonderful thing to have better than a vacation or fancy dinners out for making me relaxed and happy.

When you are living paycheck to paycheck saving means giving up things that are somewhat important like turning down the heat but the pay off happens nearly immediately. Having even an extra $50 means you can buy gas before payday so you aren't driving on fumes because you can't afford even a few gallons. This means you don't panic if pay checks are after lunch instead of before lunch. It this means working a few hours of overtime or doing without something like ordering pizza once or twice or drinking water instead of something else it is worth it.

Gradually you can have everything important and still save some, you can pay all the bills whenever you want, buy food before payday, handle a car repair without stress.

My furnace is acting funny the temp was 63 when I got home when it was set on 69 now it is 66. I have lived here 18 years so the furnace is older than that. If I call out a furnace company they will sell me a new one, I have lots of money so I am not even a little unhappy or stressed it isn't an emergency if I can just get what I need as soon as I need it.

I haven't lived in poverty exactly but been careful, I have bought new cars and trucks and boat but spent less than some people on clothes and vacations. Now I have enough I could retire if I didn't like working, it is very relaxing knowing no matter what I am fine. I haven't had to give up anything I cared about or even be very careful since the first two years after I started over after the divorce.

[Deleted]

My Grandma likes to tell the story of when I was 8 I asked her and Grandpa "Why can't people be "retired" when they are young and work when they are old"?

Of course a naive question, but it is something that sticks in the back of my mind. Saving money is great and maybe being "wealthy" by ones late 40's and having "options" is the ideal. What if you can't physically take advantage of all those options at that age? What if the country you always dreamed to vacation in changes to a hostile government.. etc etc..

I'll stick to striking a good balance between living in the now and saving for the future.

[Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ]

Of course a naive question, but it is something that sticks in the back of my mind. Saving money is great and maybe being "wealthy" by ones late 40's and having "options" is the ideal. What if you can't physically take advantage of all those options at that age? What if the country you always dreamed to vacation in changes to a hostile government.. etc etc..

The odds of being physically disabled in one's 40s are very slim odds.

[resolution]

Of course a naive question, but it is something that sticks in the back of my mind. Saving money is great and maybe being "wealthy" by ones late 40's and having "options" is the ideal. What if you can't physically take advantage of all those options at that age? What if the country you always dreamed to vacation in changes to a hostile government.. etc etc..

Being disabled in your 40's is pushing it, but I did have a coworker die of a heart attack last year at age 45 and another die this year in his fifties. I have also had a neighbor run out of money and end up sitting in his own filth at age 89 in an economy apartment. There is no way to predict the future. We just have to do the best that we can at planning for retirement and then enjoying what we have left. Determine a goal and fund it, then everything that you have left is available to enjoy.

It is easier if you can develop simple tastes and an attitude of appreciating what you have. Maybe you will never get to that country that changed to a hostile government, but there are lots of other countries. I had a trip to Egypt planned for November which is unlikely to happen now. However I am sure there is somewhere else nice that we can go instead.

[cronewitch]

Giving up ever getting to go to the place you want when you retire might be worth it because you don't have to try to work when you hurt and you can afford your medicine and food.

We tend to only see people who earn excess money so they can enjoy youth and still save but that isn't true for many people if they spend when young they can't have in old age.

When I was young I saw the old people who didn't save and didn't want to be them. Elderly women who had a husband to support them and didn't question him about money. They ended up widowed living in poverty exactly like I lived at 18. I didn't want to be 80 living like an 18 year old. Grandma retired at 57 but then took up part time waitress work. When you see a person having to do the work of young people at that age when their feet hurt because they need the money you want to put something away. There isn't a lot of difference in lifestyle between the people who save and those that don't. Grandma was married 54 years, raised kids in the depression and was around 40 before they got a house. Grandma never had a nice house but she and grandpa drank in bars a lot and got new cars when they were older, she didn't drive. They were only able to save a little but when she died at 98 she had 65K left over after paying for assisted living and left a paid off house. That leftover money was her security so she never needed to go on welfare. When she was put in a nursing home to recover from something she thought it was welfare but mom assured her she was paying her own way. Some people don't mind going on Medicaid when they are old but she had pride. She did without somethings when she was young and when she was old, her clothing was shabby and her couch was old really nothing new in her house she had her kitchen step stool for over 60 years. She wouldn't have been happier spending more and knowing she was broke in retirement.

[Deleted]

Feb 8, 2011 9:25:20 GMT -5 Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ said:

Of course a naive question, but it is something that sticks in the back of my mind. Saving money is great and maybe being "wealthy" by ones late 40's and having "options" is the ideal. What if you can't physically take advantage of all those options at that age? What if the country you always dreamed to vacation in changes to a hostile government.. etc etc..

The odds of being physically disabled in one's 40s are very slim odds.

Who said disabled? How about a knee injury that keeps you from hiking up a steep hill? How about a lower back injury that keeps you from sky diving? etc etc...

What is the opportunity cost of accumulating wealth as a person's #1 priority?

[Firebird]

The power of money is immense. I cannot think of any source of stress in life that is not at least mitigated by having sufficient funds. That's why it's ridiculous to me when people say that they don't care about / aren't motivated by money. Sure you're not. That's why you would keep showing up at that job you love if they stopped paying you, right?

So yes, accumulating wealth is my #1 priority for my financial resources. Any other choice on the flimsy basis of "well, what if I'm not around to enjoy the money later?" is foolish, in my opinion. It may sound harsh, but that's exactly how people get into crazy debt and then end up NOT dying suddenly, thereby having to deal with the consequences of their actions.

Worst case scenario, you accumulate great wealth at a young age and die suddenly. Your family is then left with sufficient resources to pay for your funeral, take time off from their jobs to grieve, travel, maybe put your kids through school, whatever. So what if you "gave up" the best years of your life to accumulate that money and never got a chance to enjoy it? You're DEAD, what do you care?

All that being said, the best-case scenario is to make enough to save a great deal and still indulge in luxuries. That doesn't have to be an astronomical number. Making More Money is a lot more fun than Cutting Back.

[ca]

Save some, spend some, give some away. When you do spend, enjoy it.

Well said!

I'm fortunate to make a 6 figure income (very low six figures tho lol) so I can save a good portion of my pay for retirement (20.5% with matching) and long term savings/EF with enough left over to spend somewhat luxuriously. Of course, I should be saving $1500 a month for my house downpayment instead of $1000; and instead of going to Grand Cayman this week I should be going to Cuba..but you know...I think I make a nice balance.

The key as pointed out is to make sure when you are spending money it's consciously spent on things you enjoy and bring pleasure. And definitely give money to causes you believe in too.

[Deleted]

Feb 8, 2011 10:56:10 GMT -5 Firebird said:

The power of money is immense. I cannot think of any source of stress in life that is not at least mitigated by having sufficient funds. That's why it's ridiculous to me when people say that they don't care about / aren't motivated by money. Sure you're not. That's why you would keep showing up at that job you love if they stopped paying you, right?

So yes, accumulating wealth is my #1 priority for my financial resources. Any other choice on the flimsy basis of "well, what if I'm not around to enjoy the money later?" is foolish, in my opinion. It may sound harsh, but that's exactly how people get into crazy debt and then end up NOT dying suddenly, thereby having to deal with the consequences of their actions.

Worst case scenario, you accumulate great wealth at a young age and die suddenly. Your family is then left with sufficient resources to pay for your funeral, take time off from their jobs to grieve, travel, maybe put your kids through school, whatever. So what if you "gave up" the best years of your life to accumulate that money and never got a chance to enjoy it? You're DEAD, what do you care?

Worst case scenario is you save your entire life to fullfill a dream you can no longer achieve.

For your worst case scenario, it is called insurance.

There are extremes to everything, which include saving versus spending. The concepts of a rich poor man and a poor rich man are in play also.

[Firebird]

Feb 8, 2011 11:34:43 GMT -5 @mmc said:

Feb 8, 2011 10:56:10 GMT -5 Firebird said:

The power of money is immense. I cannot think of any source of stress in life that is not at least mitigated by having sufficient funds. That's why it's ridiculous to me when people say that they don't care about / aren't motivated by money. Sure you're not. That's why you would keep showing up at that job you love if they stopped paying you, right?

So yes, accumulating wealth is my #1 priority for my financial resources. Any other choice on the flimsy basis of "well, what if I'm not around to enjoy the money later?" is foolish, in my opinion. It may sound harsh, but that's exactly how people get into crazy debt and then end up NOT dying suddenly, thereby having to deal with the consequences of their actions.

Worst case scenario, you accumulate great wealth at a young age and die suddenly. Your family is then left with sufficient resources to pay for your funeral, take time off from their jobs to grieve, travel, maybe put your kids through school, whatever. So what if you "gave up" the best years of your life to accumulate that money and never got a chance to enjoy it? You're DEAD, what do you care?

Worst case scenario is you save your entire life to fullfill a dream you can no longer achieve.

For your worst case scenario, it is called insurance.

There are extremes to everything, which include saving versus spending. The concepts of a rich poor man and a poor rich man are in play also.

Put it this way: If I'm going to extremes, I would prefer to err on the saving side than the spending side, even if it means I never achieve some dream. I mean, what does that even mean? If you like snowboarding, then you shouldn't be waiting until retirement to snowboard. If you like to travel, you shouldn't be waiting until retirement to visit Vienna. Etc.

Putting your life on hold for any extended period of time is a mistake, I'll grant you that. But putting one's life on hold and erring on the side of saving are not the same thing, and that's a dangerous distinction to miss.

[restless]

Put it this way: If I'm going to extremes, I would prefer to err on the saving side than the spending side, even if it means I never achieve some dream. I mean, what does that even mean? If you like snowboarding, then you shouldn't be waiting until retirement to snowboard. If you like to travel, you shouldn't be waiting until retirement to visit Vienna. Etc.

Putting your life on hold for any extended period of time is a mistake, I'll grant you that. But putting one's life on hold and erring on the side of saving are not the same thing, and that's a dangerous distinction to miss.

Very well said Firebird!



@ca in Canada - The below statements makes lots of sense and that's what we try to strive for, be frugal on things you don't care much about and spend on the things we truly enjoy.

The key as pointed out is to make sure when you are spending money it's consciously spent on things you enjoy and bring pleasure. And definitely give money to causes you believe in too

[Firebird]

Thanks, restless