hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Feb 10, 2011 18:09:51 GMT -5
I don't understand the premise of "if I found a new job it would have to be FT".
Are there really no bakeries around you? Seems like the perfect time for you to work would be super early mornings, possibly when DH is still home and everyone's sleeping. You not only would be doing something you love, you'd be making connections for your "dream job" or might just find that your dream job is doing that very thing rather than owning a place.
Even if you could find another mommy in the area to watch your child early mornings in exchange for watching hers in the afternoon. It seems like your dream and your situation line up pretty well. Have you explored that at all...even working at a large supermarket with an in-house bakery section.
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Feb 10, 2011 18:14:04 GMT -5
"I even have an upscale bakery where I am that wants to buy one of my desserts from me to sell in the bakery. I would just start out as a sell-from-home bakery and get a store front later, but my state requires a separately licensed kitchen to be able to sell food from home. I want to adhere to the health codes, so I haven't figured out if I have a way of getting around that."
Have you gone to that upscale bakery and informed them that while you do not have a bakery to work from you'd be open to working FOR them and making your treats a few times a week? Or at least that you'd be interested in giving them a better deal on the treats if they allowed you to come in and use their state-approved kitchen for X hours per week?
Maybe you've looked into it already and have found it to be undesirable, but from the way you lay things out it seems like an odd situation where you could conceivably do something you really enjoy but are putting it off because you would be working for someone else rather than owning your own company.
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daylight
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Post by daylight on Feb 10, 2011 18:18:36 GMT -5
I don't think I have read the baby-centered threads on old YM, since I did not feel qualified to comment while not being a parent yet, but I wanted to add here that every single book/article what have you that I have read about child development (in preparation of being a parent one day) said that the children form attachments in their early years. Also, they learn how to deal with their emotions, generally, how to exist emotionally in those early years, by example.
I can see how many would think that it's fine to form an attachment to the babysitter/grandma etc. and to learn to handle emotions from them, but it can really bite you in the back imho.
Then again, we get more than 6 weeks of maternity leave after giving birth, mothers are encouraged to stay home with the baby until they are 2/3 years old (the perks of not being from the US).
I can definitely understand how much fun it is to be involved in actual hobbies and talk to a young adult but I wouldn't think that they are more important than the early years from a psychological point of view. Like debtheaven, I can totally relate to anyone thinking of the opposite, I just wanted to add my two cents. (And I don't think at this point that I would survive 2-3 years at home with my own kid, but who knows.)
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Feb 10, 2011 18:22:18 GMT -5
Even if you could find another mommy in the area to watch your child early mornings in exchange for watching hers in the afternoon. It seems like your dream and your situation line up pretty well. Have you explored that at all...even working at a large supermarket with an in-house bakery section.
Good call, Hoops. Nice to see you over here, BTW.
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Post by debtheaven on Feb 10, 2011 18:56:09 GMT -5
every single book/article what have you that I have read about child development (in preparation of being a parent one day) said that the children form attachments in their early years.
Daylight, it never occurred to me that anybody posting about this sort of thing would be spending so much time away from their child that the child's primary attachment would be to their caregiver rather than their parent(s). It's certainly not the case here where the OP works 30 hours a week.
As far as spending time with young adults ... although it can often be more pleasant than spending time with older teens, I meant younger teens, not young adults. As much as I LOVE spending time with my two young adult kids, it would have never occurred to me for a NY minute to set up my work schedule in function of them once they were nearly 18!!!
Now it does occasionally, but only because my DS1 lives abroad. He's a humanitarian aid worker, and I always try to work out my schedule so I can work a bit less when he's around, because he's only around for a week or so every three months.
But I would certainly NEVER advocate that a parent take their YOUNG ADULT kids into account while trying to determine their work schedule! That is NOT at all what I meant!
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cronewitch
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Post by cronewitch on Feb 10, 2011 19:04:52 GMT -5
There are ways to buy time in a licensed kitchen.
Taverns have kitchens they aren't using in the mornings. A woman used to rent one to make food to sell to office workers. She would make salads, sandwiches and rice crispy treats or cookies in the morning early. Then she loaded a handcart with two ice chest one with dry goods like that and the other with beverages. She would come to the office buildings before lunch like between 8-12 pedaling her goods. People would go even at 8AM to pick up lunch for later. Our building didn't have a deli or anything so if you didn't pack lunch you had to go to lunch.
I heard of a caterer who bought a catering truck because they weren't allowed to cook in a home kitchen. It would be crowded if you had more people but you could park it in your driveways and work anytime you had time. You could rent time to other people too or drive it to a Saturday market to sell strawberry shortcakes or something.
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Peace77
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Post by Peace77 on Feb 10, 2011 19:53:54 GMT -5
Another option is to job share. Find another person also interested in working part-time and both work one job. One person could work 2 days, the other person 3 days or both can work 2 1/2 days.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Feb 10, 2011 20:05:05 GMT -5
Another option is to job share. Find another person also interested in working part-time and both work one job. One person could work 2 days, the other person 3 days or both can work 2 1/2 days. I always thought this was a very creative and intriguing solution to a difficult problem. But do employers really go for it?
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Post by bobbysgirl on Feb 10, 2011 21:05:38 GMT -5
With respect, this is what I can bring to the conversation.
If you are pursuing your own bakery, then you will not be staying home with your DD. You will be exchanging one job for another, one that will cost you money. Selling baked goods randomly that you make in your kitchen is a different story. There's flexibility there.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 10, 2011 23:33:37 GMT -5
daylight - I agree with you on the importance of the early years and the fact that maternity leave in the U.S. is too short. But children know who their parents are - it's kind of a miracle when you experience it. Even if they are in daycare they know and love their parents just the same. When you have kids you'll be amazed at how only mommy or daddy can fix it or do it the right way.
I think you are going to be a great parent. I admire all the prep you are doing.
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Agatha
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Post by Agatha on Feb 10, 2011 23:58:36 GMT -5
I have another suggestion for the "professional kitchen" question. Have you looked into any of the churches in your area? My church has a commercial kitchen; we built it that way. Besides the annual fellowship dinner, Sunday potluck, and the occasional reception we rent the space to a part time caterer. Otherwise all that space would simply be sitting there. Really. One day a week or two mornings a week may be all you need or want. "Renting" could be very reasonable. Our part time caterer's main rental payment is to cater our once a year dinner. You never know unless you ask. The decision to stay home with your little one is a very personal one. Everyone here has loads to say about it. I can only speak from personal experience. I stayed home with my DS for the first two years and loved every minute of it. I talk about my DN's all the time; they're great guys but I look at my son and say "Darn, I do good work!" He's 30, independent as heck, works hard, writing his Master's thesis, and is trying to find Ms. Right on the side. I could not be more proud of him. Whoops! I'm bragging again and it has nothing to do with the topic. Forgive me. I'm just saying I think you will do fine.
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Feb 11, 2011 9:22:41 GMT -5
debtheaven - Your post is kind of what I have been thinking. My DS is almost 9 months now and I spent 5 months at home with him but went back to work full time. I am lucky, a family member watches him during the day but my DH and I both have demanding/long hour jobs. I've found the transition to work more stressful than I thought. I really want to just push through it so that hopefully we have more options in the future, like maybe I can go down to part time. I think I'll have more mommy guilt when my DS is 10 and wants me to go to his soccer game than I do now that he's an infant.
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Anne_in_VA
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Post by Anne_in_VA on Feb 11, 2011 9:56:30 GMT -5
mcmommy - can you rent some kitchen space with a church or some other social club? Many of them have commercial kitchens that are not in use on a regular basis and it would give you the kitchen space you need as well as giving them some additional income (or a catered dinner for say, a spaghetti supper or something).
There is a social club in my area that does just this and in exchange they have asked the person who uses the kitchen to cater a couple of dinners a year. In addition, their members have access to great food made by the person using their kitchen. She takes orders, leaves her card with the manager and they contact her when they have orders for her.
Win-win for everyone!
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