When does Flirting go to far?

[ZaireinHD]

I have not thought that flirting can turn sexual. I just thought flirting was something more ...playful.

maybe because I don't see or have not recognized flirting in a sexual way? I would think she is making an advance towards me than flirting.

Flirting to me is what the receptionist does towards me at work. Just yesterday she said:
Hello Zaire - good to see you - I haven't seen you in a while - I miss seeing your sweet smile. Other days she says to me
Hi Zaire - you look good in that color shirt and tie, yellow looks good on you. She even said wow Zaire are you losing weight, I can see it looks like you have slimmed down.

That is what I consider flirting.

[Deleted]

I don't even count that as flirting. She's being nice.

[BeenThere...DoneThat...]

...lol...

...wiki puts it right in the first sentence:

Flirting or coquetry is a social and sometimes sexual activity involving verbal or written communication as well as body language by one person to another, suggesting an interest in a deeper relationship with the other person.

[ZaireinHD]

I used to have a close friend to help me with this.
I was confused if the receptionist is flirting or just doing her job as a front desk receptionist.
being nice to everybody that walks through the door.

when discussing this over - I asked around - is the receptionist this way with my co-workers and I asked the men and women and ALL of them said no!

so that means she is flirting towards me.

[lexxy703]

It may be she likes you but that is more like flattery than flirting.

[Reckless Roselia]

Mostly flirting involves flattering someone in a charming way. But it can become quickly playful in a sexual way.

[ZaireinHD]

Jan 4, 2013 14:50:39 GMT -5 BeenThere...DoneThat... said:

...lol...

...wiki puts it right in the first sentence:

Flirting or coquetry is a social and sometimes sexual activity involving verbal or written communication as well as body language by one person to another, suggesting an interest in a deeper relationship with the other person.

ok so then lets further the example

when speaking to the receptionist when she is not sitting at her desk. we were talking and she is smiling and lightly laughing. she puts her hand on my arm ...or shoulder, slides her hand down my arm.
NOW this part may or may not be true but I think she gave me a little squeeze on my muscle.

squeeze or my imagination squeeze - this to me is still flirting, just flirting in a non-sexual way

[Apple]

Flirting goes too far when it makes the other person uncomfortable. Or, if one is involved in a relationship and the flirting takes attention away from the SO (or the SO is a forbidden topic, then it seems a little more than "just flirting" to me).

[vonna]

When does Flirting go to far?

When it crosses over to harassment!

[Apple]

If I'm sliding my hand down someone's arm, I'm being sexual. If I'm hitting someone (lol, I flirt like a teenage boy) I'm just flirting, nothing sexual (unless, of course, it's someone I'm interested in).

[vonna]

Jan 4, 2013 15:04:09 GMT -5 ZaireinHD said:

I think she gave me a little squeeze on my muscle.

Okay -- that is definitely an example of flirting going to far!

[Green Eyed Lady]

lol

[mmhmm]

Zaire, m'lad, if you're really this clueless, someone needs to wrap you up in cotton batting and hide you deep in a closet. Really.

[BeenThere...DoneThat...]

...if anyone is running their hand from my shoulder to my bicep, they're closing in imo...

[steff]

You seriously questioned the whole office about what the receptionist said to you? Dude, the gf and just start being the man ho you clearly want to be. You seriously went from having the hots for an "ex bff" yesterday to trying to chase tail at the office today. Your gf deserves so much more respect that you are giving her when you aren't together. You aren't supposed to sniff out every female that might pass you by.

[Deleted]

Flirting goes too far when you make another person uncomfortable. Its pretty simple really.

[steff]

LOL... there's nothing wrong with being a man ho just be honest that is what you are. One of our friends is totally a man ho & has the time of his life. He doesn't want kids or a wife because he's having way too much fun. As long as he's not hurting anyone or stringing them along, then man ho away! LOL One of kiddo's friends is a himbo...very nice to look at & dumb as a rock...girls LOVE him....he's a himbo....lol

[weltschmerz]

Jan 4, 2013 14:51:27 GMT -5 ZaireinHD said:

I used to have a close friend to help me with this.
I was confused if the receptionist is flirting or just doing her job as a front desk receptionist.
being nice to everybody that walks through the door.

when discussing this over - I asked around - is the receptionist this way with my co-workers and I asked the men and women and ALL of them said no!

so that means she is flirting towards me.

You asked the entire office to interpret this for you? What in God's name is the MATTER with you?

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

When does Flirting go to far?

How many "Zaire" threads is this now - all about basically the same thing - 4? 5?

When it becomes harassment. Zaire, leave the women at work alone and keep it strictly professional. The receptionist's casual comment about your nice shirt or how you've lost weight was just that - a casual passing comment as you came into the office. It was NOT flirting.

You have a live-in girfriend at home - stop dogging after other women (both in your office, on the street, or everywhere else you go). Even your ex-friend has had enough of your games and finally walked away.

Or at least be honest with your live-in girlfriend and tell her what you said here last night - that you don't believe in true love. Let HER decide if she wants to stick around. I'm sure you haven't told her that.

You're what - close to middle-aged now? - and you still can't commit to a serious relationship or even define one - let alone figure out the definition of love?

I think you need to live on your own til you figure out what you want - either to settle down or continue playing the field - you can't have it both ways. And you're going to lose even more friends in the long-run if you continue down this path - and probably hurt your live-in girlfriend in the process.

Or are you afraid to be on your own?

[ZaireinHD]

When it crosses over to harassment!

harassment?
that's interesting - when would that happen?
that sounds more like the training videos we watch on sexual harassment
about how people can ...say compliment other co-workers.
the videos are funny as hell - it's obvious (to me) harassment.

[ZaireinHD]

Jan 4, 2013 17:54:48 GMT -5 @joey said:

Flirting goes too far when you make another person uncomfortable. Its pretty simple really.

me and my one guy friend go to a restaurant and the waitress comes over.
not sure how to explain her outfit without offending any one - but lets say cleavage is showing. and while she is telling us the specials she is leaning in pointing out stuff on the menu. does she HAVE to point out on the menu - no!

when she leaves we talk about her and what we see
she makes me feel uncomfortable dressed like that and her tone of voice.

so is that flirting gone to far?

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

You should have been looking at the menu and not her cleavage.

[steff]

Not every woman you meet is hitting on you....maybe that's what you should start reminding yourself since you don't seem to even care that you have a live in gf who you don't seem to have much respect for. Not every woman you meet is looking for a date from you or a gift. A waitress showing her tits is so you'll leave a big tip, not your phone number. The girl checking out your purchases at Target isn't interested in getting to know you better just because she asked you if you found everything you needed or asks how your day is going. A receptionist gets paid (not by you in gifts) to be nice to people, to give a good impression of the company and it's employees...or she could have heard that you like to hand out expensive gifts if she blinks twice in a row while looking at you & decided to see if it's true. The lady who rode the elevator at the same time you did, didn't pick that elevator because your too hot for your gf self was already there...she had to get somewhere & might have been memorizing your face (for a lineup) when she politely nodded in your direction when she got on the elevator.

Seriously, not every woman you meet is just waiting for you to make her day the best day ever with your too incredible, too generous, too much too often, too in their face self.

[Deleted]

Jan 4, 2013 21:19:56 GMT -5 ZaireinHD said:

Jan 4, 2013 17:54:48 GMT -5 @joey said:

Flirting goes too far when you make another person uncomfortable. Its pretty simple really.

me and my one guy friend go to a restaurant and the waitress comes over.
not sure how to explain her outfit without offending any one - but lets say cleavage is showing. and while she is telling us the specials she is leaning in pointing out stuff on the menu. does she HAVE to point out on the menu - no!

when she leaves we talk about her and what we see
she makes me feel uncomfortable dressed like that and her tone of voice.

so is that flirting gone to far?

She makes you horny, she wants you.

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

Please don't tell him that. He'll go back there and start harassing her too - all while leaving his live-in GF at home.

[Deleted]

Jan 4, 2013 22:42:55 GMT -5 ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ said:

Please don't tell him that. He'll go back there and start harassing her too - all while leaving his live-in GF at home.

[Peace Of Mind]

You know you've gone too far when you've fallen in. Just remember to excuse yourself. Or at least say "Oops!"

[Jaguar]

Oops might not cover it POM.

[Reckless Roselia]

Flirting is no longer flirting when it becomes sex.

[ZaireinHD]

yea I agree flirting has gone to far when the other person is uncomfortable in a bad way!
I was dropping off a pile/ stack of paperwork at the reproduction office. instead of sitting in the chair to complete the request form I was leaning over the chair. This DUDE, a guy was walking by said to me Zaire glad you didn't take a seat look'n good!
WHAT!
so I took my foot and pushed the chair back and sat down and finished completing the form!