Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 17, 2012 9:45:50 GMT -5
Not referring to the show or the music group (although I like both! ).... Saturday night I had a belated birthday celebration with two girlfriends, one of which I hadn't talked to in several years. We did a good amount of catching up, and after a few hours (and more than a few drinks) I realized that she was still the exact same person she was in high school. And not in a good way. Still making the same mistakes with guys, same mentality. I find that a little sad. Anyone have experience with this?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 17, 2012 9:51:09 GMT -5
Glad to hear you got some "alone" time! No one I know nowadays isn't a "grown up" but we're all in our 40's. It's going to take me a minute to remember what my friends and I were like when we were 30.......heck, I'm pretty sure I was the immature one back then. ;D
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Dec 17, 2012 9:52:51 GMT -5
I've had people tell me that I'm "exactly the same" and I've wanted to punch them right in their pie hole.
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Taxman10
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Post by Taxman10 on Dec 17, 2012 9:55:56 GMT -5
Not referring to the show or the music group (although I like both! ).... Saturday night I had a belated birthday celebration with two girlfriends, one of which I hadn't talked to in several years. We did a good amount of catching up, and after a few hours (and more than a few drinks) I realized that she was still the exact same person she was in high school. And not in a good way. Still making the same mistakes with guys, same mentality. I find that a little sad. Anyone have experience with this? .. YES! I know someone exactly like this...she dates loser after loser...then complians about the loser, how she's not married yet, yadda yadda yadda.... she's currently "dating" a married man who lives 2,000 miles away from her...but he's going to leave his wife and kids really soon **rolling eyes**
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Taxman10
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Post by Taxman10 on Dec 17, 2012 9:56:38 GMT -5
Glad to hear you got some "alone" time! No one I know nowadays isn't a "grown up" but we're all in our 40's. It's going to take me a minute to remember what my friends and I were like when we were 30.......heck, I'm pretty sure I was the immature one back then. ;D wait...are you the "mature" one now??
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Dec 17, 2012 9:59:23 GMT -5
She clearly has very low self-esteem. She doesn't think well enough of herself to believe she deserves better than that.
It is sad, really. It might not be a matter of growing up, but really a sad look into a person who doesn't know how to value themselves.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 17, 2012 10:08:31 GMT -5
Glad to hear you got some "alone" time! No one I know nowadays isn't a "grown up" but we're all in our 40's. It's going to take me a minute to remember what my friends and I were like when we were 30.......heck, I'm pretty sure I was the immature one back then. ;D wait...are you the "mature" one now?? If by "mature" you mean oldest...then yes.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 17, 2012 10:10:17 GMT -5
She clearly has very low self-esteem. She doesn't think well enough of herself to believe she deserves better than that. It is sad, really. It might not be a matter of growing up, but really a sad look into a person who doesn't know how to value themselves. I think this is a HUGE part of it. I just want the best for my friends and I want them to want the best for themselves... but she doesn't want that. She just wants to be with a guy who treats her right - but how can she find that when she keeps talking to the same guys? Literally, the same guys (on and off with one guy since high school, made out with a guy friend from high school, etc.). I told her to take a class or travel or something so that she can meet some new people. She also told me about some guys she met at the beach at her sister's bachelorette party. I know it's possible, but I wouldn't count on meeting quality guys at a beach bar.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Dec 17, 2012 10:13:43 GMT -5
I met my husband at a bar. Although, you are correct, it was 400 miles from the beach.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Dec 17, 2012 10:19:47 GMT -5
Mid-30's is where it started for me. I didn't realize it until I was approaching 40.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Dec 17, 2012 10:22:54 GMT -5
I know someone just like the person MJ describes. Her arrested development is admittedly due mostly to a major problem with alcohol (which she's always had) and money (a more recent issue). In her case, too much of both. Two failed marriages, a son who's failed to launch (and still depends on his mother for money, despite the fact that he's married and has a son of his own) and too much free time on her hands. Throw in a couple of enabling friends, and I fully expect her to wind up in jail or in a ditch before it's all over.
She's loud, rude, obnoxious and physically repulsive when she drinks, which is pretty much at any social event. We will be at a friend's home for Christmas, and she will be there, for at least part of the day. Thus far, she had ruined two social events we have attended in the past month. We were able to solve the issue by either socializing with other people or leaving early. This event will be a bit more difficult to duck out of and/or avoid her, as there will be fewer than a dozen people attending, and I am contributing part of the meal.
I used to look forward to this gathering. Now, not so much.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Dec 17, 2012 10:25:41 GMT -5
Can't think of any off hand, but I know the type. Some people fail to grow up.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Dec 17, 2012 10:26:40 GMT -5
It's kind of scary how quickly the time goes as you get older. A few of my friends took fairly low-wage/low-stress jobs upon college graduation, with the idea of moving on in a year or two... in what feels like no time, we're all almost 30. And I'm no better, I've been saying "We'll probably have kids in another year or so" for the last 5 years. Sometimes it's hard not to get into a rut.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 17, 2012 10:30:05 GMT -5
It's kind of scary how quickly the time goes as you get older. A few of my friends took fairly low-wage/low-stress jobs upon college graduation, with the idea of moving on in a year or two... in what feels like no time, we're all almost 30. And I'm no better, I've been saying "We'll probably have kids in another year or so" for the last 5 years. Sometimes it's hard not to get into a rut. yes - time did fly by, for sure! But I think the reason why this friend hasn't changed is because aside from getting a full time job, she is literally doing the same things she was doing in high school. I got the hell out of dodge, met new people and expanded my horizons. She said this is not where she saw herself at (almost) 30. It's hard to be in a different place when you keep doing the same things over and over again.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Dec 17, 2012 10:31:28 GMT -5
She would likely benefit from counseling. But, you can't "fix" her.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Dec 17, 2012 10:31:39 GMT -5
She's loud, rude, obnoxious and physically repulsive when she drinks, which is pretty much at any social event. Shit, are we friends in real life?
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Dec 17, 2012 10:33:37 GMT -5
LOL - I thought the same thing... "Are you and Miss Tequila friends in real life?" I just didn't feel right saying it.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 17, 2012 10:34:32 GMT -5
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Dec 17, 2012 10:35:33 GMT -5
LOL - I thought the same thing... "Are you and Miss Tequila friends in real life?" I just didn't feel right saying it. LMAO!!!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 17, 2012 10:38:28 GMT -5
;D
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 17, 2012 10:39:45 GMT -5
She would likely benefit from counseling. But, you can't "fix" her. she's been in therapy for like 2 years now. I wish her the best... really. I just want her to realize that she can do better and I hope she does someday.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Dec 17, 2012 11:12:32 GMT -5
LMAO! I wish....you could not be this bad. And besides, we'd get to find out who really has the bigger hair!
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Anne_in_VA
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Post by Anne_in_VA on Dec 18, 2012 11:50:57 GMT -5
I have a friend who is 62 and still hasn't grown up. She is a very sweet person, but continually makes the same mistakes in life and in relationships, then wonders why she still stuck in the same place she was when I first met her. I've tried to talk to her about it, but she doesn't want any help and won't change. Now I just see her occasionally and keep a smile on my face when she starts to complain.
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Cookies Galore
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I don't need no instructions to know how to rock
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Post by Cookies Galore on Dec 18, 2012 12:08:24 GMT -5
There's always money in the banana stand!
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Dec 18, 2012 12:09:47 GMT -5
Gene Parmesan! AAAAHHHH!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 18, 2012 12:13:21 GMT -5
to the both of you
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Dec 18, 2012 12:14:27 GMT -5
There's always money in the banana stand! They were showing a few episodes on IFC this weekend. That show was Funny.
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skubikky
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Post by skubikky on Dec 18, 2012 13:19:58 GMT -5
It's kind of scary how quickly the time goes as you get older. A few of my friends took fairly low-wage/low-stress jobs upon college graduation, with the idea of moving on in a year or two... in what feels like no time, we're all almost 30. Actually, I remember an example that is contrary to this. DH has a friend that didn't go to college but went to work right out of high school. Parents raised he and his multiple siblings but didn't have the monetary resources to provide past 18. He sold coffee and snack boxes to offices(late 70's, early 80's). Eventually he got a job working for someone he knew, selling cars. Stayed with the dealership and worked his way up. After awhile they had a series of dealerships. He became the GM of the Mercedes dealership. Busted his ass. A nice, low key, great guy. He and his wife married when they were 21. She worked at a big manufacturer in town. They waited 7 years to have kids. Built a successful marriage and a great family. He's very successful but never, ever makes anything of it. They're a pleasure to hang out with and are just as down to earth as they were 30 years ago when they started with nothing but each other and a lot of motivation and common sense.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Dec 18, 2012 13:31:51 GMT -5
Crap, I'm old and still not mature. I'm doomed.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Dec 18, 2012 13:37:45 GMT -5
skubikky - I wonder if people can still really "work their way up." We have a couple of people here who don't meet the base qualifications for their jobs, but have been in the company for 30 years. However, we have a few people who are at lower levels who are trying to get promoted and they have been told they need to finish school before they will be considered. That might be an excuse. I don't know.
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