thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Dec 10, 2012 14:38:10 GMT -5
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formerroomate99
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Post by formerroomate99 on Dec 10, 2012 14:44:53 GMT -5
True, Rukh.
When my mom and stepdad let my stepbrother live with them, it was an unmitigated disaster because he was used to living like a pig while my mother liked order, my mother wasn't allowed to tell him anything, and my stepdad never wanted to tell his son that he was doing wrong. So my mom was walking around the house fuming mad and my stepbrother had no idea what he had done. I have a feeling there is a similar situation going on here, with Ltoonya not able to clearly communicate anything but anger.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Dec 10, 2012 14:48:32 GMT -5
Well...I am really LMAOff reading your questions because I KNEW some ONE gonna ask this. First of all - it is still MY bathroom. And I can use it anytime I wish. There was my blow drier I went to take it. And I saw ANOTHER brand TP stocked up in there. Are you saying I can't use MY bathroom because her roiom is next to it? My DD comes home she needs to share. Are yuo saying we have to ask tenant's permission?
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Dec 10, 2012 14:52:32 GMT -5
Well, I can see how your tenant might be getting mixed messages. On one hand, you yell at her and/or write her notes if she leaves her computer on your table. On the other hand, you and your DD can use 'her' bathroom whenever you want.
Do you have a written lease?
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Dec 10, 2012 14:53:05 GMT -5
True, Rukh. When my mom and stepdad let my stepbrother live with them, it was an unmitigated disaster because he was used to living like a pig while my mother liked order, my mother wasn't allowed to tell him anything, and my stepdad never wanted to tell his son that he was doing wrong. So my mom was walking around the house fuming mad and my stepbrother had no idea what he had done. I have a feeling there is a similar situation going on here, with Ltoonya not able to clearly communicate anything but anger. I am not a very diplomatic, I'll give you that! However I am sane enough to know that and avoiding yelling and emotions - I am writing her notes about things that are bothering me. BTW I wrote 'Dear Tenant! There are few things that bothering me and I wish to bring to your attention:' and only THEN I wrote 'I AM NOT YOUR MADE! I AM YOUR LANDLADY'...see? Pretty rational...
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Dec 10, 2012 14:58:16 GMT -5
Well, I can see how your tenant might be getting mixed messages. On one hand, you yell at her and/or write her notes if she leaves her computer on your table. On the other hand, you and your DD can use 'her' bathroom whenever you want. Do you have a written lease? NO! She had not rented 'private space' from me. She had rented ONE ROOM. Happens that this room and my DDs room - are 2 rooms across the hall with one bathroom between! What is wrong with that? Plus my cleaning lady cleans that bathroom, not tenant! Plus its MY house, isn't it? P.S. She use to rent a room in huge appt with 3 other people and ONE bathroom! Just FYI...
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Dec 10, 2012 15:02:53 GMT -5
Yes - but you are renting some of your 'private space' to another person in exchange for money. If you have a problem with her using your 'private space' - don't rent to her.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 10, 2012 15:03:06 GMT -5
I think you need to make it clear that she's only allowed in her room and that is it unless you give her special permission to set foot anywhere else in your house.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Dec 10, 2012 15:03:56 GMT -5
I still can't believe anyone would rent out a room in their own house, to a stranger, without a written lease. What's to stop the tenant from claiming she thought Loony was letting her live there out of the kindness of her heart? Hard to evict someone without a lease specifying rent/duties/termination procedures.
Not to mention - it's very likely the tenant thought she was renting a room and access to living space. It seems Loony's thoughts on the subject were different.
Tloony, if you do this again, get your demands/desires in writing BEFORE you let the person move in. That would save you a lot of note-writing time on the back end.
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formerroomate99
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Post by formerroomate99 on Dec 10, 2012 15:04:24 GMT -5
The problem is that 'I am not your maid' only conveys anger. You need to be more specific. And for some reason, airing a grievance in writing always seems to inflame the situation.
A more surgical approach would be to say "I've noticed that you've been leaving your personal items in the common areas, and leaving messes for me to clean up, including crumbs on the table, dirty dishes, .... Please don't leave your personal items in common areas and promptly clean up after yourself."
But honestly Ltoonya, I think the best course of action would be to get rid of this person. If you're going to be a landlord, you need to avoid getting emotionally involved in your tennant's lives and know how to communicate promptly, clearly, and tactfully. It seems pretty clear that your disposition and skillset don't lend themselves well to being a landlord.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 10, 2012 15:13:44 GMT -5
I got it! Draw chalk lines all over the house. The tenet can't cross over any of the lines Tlooney drew. Problem solved. ;D
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Dec 10, 2012 15:14:20 GMT -5
Ya. think?
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Rocky Mtn Saver
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Post by Rocky Mtn Saver on Dec 10, 2012 15:15:13 GMT -5
I got it! Draw chalk lines all over the house. The tenet can't cross over any of the lines Tlooney drew. Problem solved. ;D Who buys the chalk?
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 10, 2012 15:15:59 GMT -5
The tenet. After all she's the one making looney have to spell it out.
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Rocky Mtn Saver
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Post by Rocky Mtn Saver on Dec 10, 2012 15:16:25 GMT -5
Well, I can see how your tenant might be getting mixed messages. On one hand, you yell at her and/or write her notes if she leaves her computer on your table. On the other hand, you and your DD can use 'her' bathroom whenever you want. Do you have a written lease? NO! She had not rented 'private space' from me. She had rented ONE ROOM. Happens that this room and my DDs room - are 2 rooms across the hall with one bathroom between! What is wrong with that? Plus my cleaning lady cleans that bathroom, not tenant! Plus its MY house, isn't it? So why not have your cleaning lady clean up the tea your tenant leaves on the table that angers you so much, and then you'd have no problem to begin with...
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Dec 10, 2012 15:19:59 GMT -5
I am renting said room with bathroom/kitchen priviledges. I also have a sunroom that she was welcome to use and she did for a while. It has table and couch. She moved to a dining room 'because she felt like it'...I said nothing. DramaQ, stop dramatization. I am not home whole day so she i setting her both eet wherever she feels like it! Mid, we have written lease. Yes it is signed by both of us. And if it will come to evicition - I will change the keys and put her stuff out on backyard. I do not play no games.
I am glad I had started this thread because some things became pretty clear to me. Like tha one that some people think taking other's food is 'no big deal', so my tenant is not 'special'. Like its common for renters to behave like my tenant is behaving. So I am kind of relieved and ready to work things out with her...as soon as she pays me for 2 month!
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Rocky Mtn Saver
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Post by Rocky Mtn Saver on Dec 10, 2012 15:24:50 GMT -5
I am renting said room with bathroom/kitchen priviledges. I also have a sunroom that she was welcome to use and she did for a while. It has table and couch. She moved to a dining room 'because she felt like it'...I said nothing. DramaQ, stop dramatization. I am not home whole day so she i setting her both eet wherever she feels like it! Mid, we have written lease. Yes it is signed by both of us.And if it will come to evicition - I will change the keys and put her stuff out on backyard. I do not play no games. I am glad I had started this thread because some things became pretty clear to me. Like tha one that some people think taking other's food is 'no big deal', so my tenant is not 'special'. Like its common for renters to behave like my tenant is behaving. So I am kind of relieved and ready to work things out with her... as soon as she pays me for 2 month! 1. If you're not going to include specifics in the lease that are important to you, how is your tenant supposed to guess? Conversely, if she's violating specifics in the lease, why are you putting up with it? 2. Has she only been there for a month?
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Dec 10, 2012 15:24:59 GMT -5
Maybe you can make it clear to your new tenant that you are renting the space and not your products and that she will have to buy her own food, hygiene products, etc. unless stated otherwise. There is no reason to be mean about that. Unless she is challenged mentally I would think a 30 year old could comprehend that.
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Rocky Mtn Saver
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Post by Rocky Mtn Saver on Dec 10, 2012 15:26:29 GMT -5
I am renting said room with bathroom/kitchen priviledges. I also have a sunroom that she was welcome to use and she did for a while. It has table and couch. She moved to a dining room 'because she felt like it'...I said nothing. Does the lease specify which rooms she is allowed to be in and which she is not? Does it specify which products in the house she is allowed to use and which she is not?
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Dec 10, 2012 15:29:47 GMT -5
Looney? You have a 30 year old woman here who has to rent a room in someone's home to live. She is educated in a field I can't imagine there is much demand for. At least where I live you don't see "Wanted: Palentologist." every day. She is working for minimum wage in a supermarket because she can't get a job in her field. Nothing wrong with that. At least she is working which is more than I can say for some people. I'm just saying that perhaps she doesn't have a really clear understanding of the world around her. I think most of your OP was that you are surprised people think they can freely take from others without asking. Perhaps she really doesn't know any better or doesn't think it is a big deal.
Invite her to dinner - just the two of you - and be up front that there are things you wish to discuss. Maybe come home and cook her a nice lunch. Then sit down and iron our your specifics. Things like, "I don't mind if you make a cup of tea, but please clean up after yourself immediately and perhaps buy the tea every other time." "Please stock the refrigerator with your own food. I have menu plans for the things I buy." "If you are in need of something, please leave a note and replace the item as soon as you can." Things like that. It might very well be that since you have invited her to eat with you on occasion, she might think it was an open invitation. Those things can all be ironed out with a conversation.
Someone suggested raising her rent to include food and supplies. Talk that out with her. Ask her if she would rather have an increase in her rent to cover the items she is using or if she would rather buy her own. If you aren't clear, you can't blame her for not understanding, even though common sense should tell her what she does isn't right. Not everyone has common sense.
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milee
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Post by milee on Dec 10, 2012 15:33:55 GMT -5
Mid, we have written lease. Yes it is signed by both of us. And if it will come to evicition - I will change the keys and put her stuff out on backyard. I do not play no games. I can't wait to see the thread on this one.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 10, 2012 15:36:46 GMT -5
Yes - but you are renting some of your 'private space' to another person in exchange for money. If you have a problem with her using your 'private space' - don't rent to her. I just hope loony isn't mad when the tenant uses the carpet or hardwoods as a bathroom!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 10, 2012 15:40:26 GMT -5
Mid, we have written lease. Yes it is signed by both of us. And if it will come to evicition - I will change the keys and put her stuff out on backyard. I do not play no games. Good luck with that...especially with a written lease. You better hope your local laws support that avenue of eviction. If not, you may end up paying in the end. Speaking of that: You should really find out the eviction process from the local courthouse if that's where it is done in your area.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Dec 10, 2012 15:40:37 GMT -5
I think most of your OP was that you are surprised people think they can freely take from others without asking. Perhaps she really doesn't know any better or doesn't think it is a big deal. Yep! I got it now after people TOLD me! How weird of me! Not everyone has common sense. See, GYL, I have a hard time to believe in it, this I why I am so...crazy about it!
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Dec 10, 2012 15:41:52 GMT -5
You aren't weird, Loony. Evidently you were brought up to know better. So was I. And I'm constantly surprised at those who don't.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Dec 10, 2012 15:45:16 GMT -5
Mid, we have written lease. Yes it is signed by both of us. And if it will come to evicition - I will change the keys and put her stuff out on backyard. I do not play no games. I can't wait to see the thread on this one. How mean! You want me to throw her out just for you to have fun reading about it??? Also about evicition...you don't think I am unable to make someone's life just litle miserable so they run away without security deposit?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 10, 2012 15:47:23 GMT -5
How mean! You want me to throw her out just for you to have fun reading about it??? Also about evicition...you don't think I am unable to make someone's life just litle miserable so they run away without security deposit? Being able to AND being legally allowed to are two separate things in this instance. Make sure you know and follow the local eviction laws or you're setting yourself up for problems that you create.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Dec 10, 2012 15:50:30 GMT -5
Laws schmaws!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 10, 2012 15:51:38 GMT -5
Well...yeah...that's the general feeling I get when reading about tloony and her "business"...whether it's a grocery store or landlord business.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Dec 10, 2012 15:52:44 GMT -5
You aren't weird, Loony. Evidently you were brought up to know better. So was I. And I'm constantly surprised at those who don't. GYL...OOps, sorry, GYEL ;D Please tell me do you really honestly from the bottom of your heart believe that anyone really have no common sense to not to take whats not theirs? Why is she running off when I am coming to the kitchen and she is opening fridge's door (knowing there is nothing of hers in it)? Because SHE KNOWS!!! Someone mentioned she can't afford it? Somehow coffee from the shop and fancy food boxes with golden stickers making me not believing she can't afford dozen of eggs and roll and lunch meat and have those 7 breakfasts for the price of one fancy box!
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