House hunting -how far is too far from work?

[thyme4change]

I would hate working an hour from home. That is more than 10% of your day spent in a car. But that is just me. I work less than 10 minutes from my house. My husband works about 15 minutes from the house. I would rather spend that time drinking, or heck, cleaning!

[justme]

I had a commute that as 45-60 mins depending on traffic (and that's w/o any accidents). I hated it. Will not do it again. But traffic frustrates me. It was a make your own hours internship that I started leaving after rush hour, most of the time I got in the same time as if I had left an hour earlier.

Driving an hour non stop at 70mph isn't too bad, driving an hour when half of that time or more is going under 5mph is pure torture for me.

[Sum Dum Gai]

I commute 45 minutes, one way, right now. However, part of the reason we kept the commute when house hunting is so I'm only 45-60 minutes from San Jose if I start working up north instead of down south. Buying where we did basically guarantees I'll always have a commute, but it allows me to commute to more markets. It's a good thing too, because I'm facing a potential job loss right now, and the two other guys here bought houses in Monterey. Neither of them are willing to commute to San Jose and there are far more opening up there than there are in the Monterey area.

[Deleted]

My old commute was about 2h/round trip and costs me between $120-150/week.

Current commute is 50minutes/round trip and costs about $50/week.

I didn't mind the longer commute, I did mind the amount of money I was spending in gas.

My wife will probably have to commute into Boston which will be about 3h/round trip. She doesn't mind much since she has Internet access on the commuter rail, can take a nap or read a book.

When she did have to drive 2.5hours/round trip it became really old really fast.

In the end it depends on the person. As long as I have my music and coffee I have no issues with a long commute.

[kgb18]

My last job was a commute of 90 minutes each way. It was awful. Now I'm about 7 minutes from work. I like that much better. Really, before we had kids, the commute wasn't fun, but it was manageable. After we had DD, all the drive time was time I wasn't getting to spend with my baby. Now I wouldn't take a job that was farther than maybe 20 minutes or so, but I don't plan on leaving my current job any time soon.

[souldoubt]

Years ago I had a 26 mile commute to work that involved 3 freeways and no matter how early I tried to duck out (3:45-4) I always sat in at least a bit of traffic and sometimes it was horrible. Now I have a 10 mile commute that I can do without getting on a freeway and it's made a world of difference but having a job I like a lot more helps too. I don't think I would want to spend 2 hours a day in a car just getting to and from work unless it involved a great job while living in a nice house in a nice city with great schools.

[oreo]

You people who commute more than 30 minutes each way are NUTS! On the other hand, I have an 8 mile commute which sometimes takes 30 minutes depending on traffic. I try to go to work late and leave late to avoid the traffic. I used to have a commute that was guaranteed 30+ minutes each way and I hated it. I had a 9 month old at the time and commuting for over an hour and working 9 hour days--it was just too much. I never got to see my kid.

[Chocolate Lover]

With a commute that long you're going to lose most of the extra help he may contribute around the house, Wrongside. Just a thought.

[Sum Dum Gai]

You people who commute more than 30 minutes each way are NUTS!

It sucks, but what are you gonna do? The job market isn't like it was in the 50s and 60s. You can't get a job, buy a house close by, and work there for 30 years before getting a pension. If you want to buy a house, settle into a neighborhood, and raise your kids, you gotta pick a spot with as many jobs available in your field as possible, because you're probably not going to keep the same job for the entire 20 years it takes to raise your kids. You'll probably have more than three in that time frame. At least one of them, if not all of them, are going to involve some commute. You can either rent the whole time and move close to each job you get, if you're willing to have the kids bounce around in school districts, or you give the kids stability and whoever is bringing home the bacon commutes to where the work is.

Commuting sucks, no doubt about it, but sometimes it's the least bad option.

All that said, people with commutes and no kids are completely crazy. Unless you've got some sweet deal where you can live with your parents rent free, still have mom cook and clean for you, and commute to a job where you make decent money and hoard all of it. In that situation I'd totally commute as a single guy. Otherwise screw it. I'd live as close to work as possible even if that meant a really dumpy apartment.

[shanendoah]

We used to commute 50 miles each way. We worked at the same place so had use of the carpool lanes the whole way (well, for all the spots where there were carpool lanes). Drive took 50-60 minutes in the morning (barring accidents) and anywhere from 1.5-2.5 hours in the afternoon. We hated it with a passion.
I know live aprox 3 miles from where I work and take only surface streets. When DH was working, we were 15 miles from his work. It was a 20/45 minute commute (mornings/evenings), but so much better than before.

For some reason, at least around here, while very few people seemed to start work at 7am like we did (hence the short morning commute) 3x as many people seemed to get off work at 3:30pm. And on Fridays, it was bad from noon to 8pm.

If you are considering it, make the drive right after work- not leaving early or anything like that, but on your regular schedule, on a couple of different days, including a Friday, to see what the afternoon/evening commute is actually like. Our biggest mistake was always only going to see the new house on a weekend, when the drive didn't seem bad at all.

[wvugurl26]

I've been 40ish miles from work before. Takes around a hour. In WV, it was pretty much all interstate, 80mph.

When I moved here I was 38 miles from work. Took about 45 mins door to door. I moved closer to work for 2 years. My work is in a really bad part of town so I was still twelve miles away and 30 mins commute time.

I had a chance to move back and I did. I also start 30 mins earlier now than I used to. I am commuting against traffic so it isn't as bad. I can leave my house, drive in, stop for coffee (slight detour), get to work, deal with 2 security checkpoints and be at my desk in 55 mins.

It might be different if I had a child. Around here my commute isn't anything unusual. I tried living closer to work and I didn't like the area. I need to go to bed earlier but I'm working on it.

[wvugurl26]

Oct 16, 2012 16:35:45 GMT -5 @wrongsideof30 said:

Oct 16, 2012 16:27:36 GMT -5 Chocolate Lover said:

With a commute that long you're going to lose most of the extra help he may contribute around the house, Wrongside. Just a thought.

He'll be finishing school soon so instead of being gone for school, he'll be gone driving, I guess. I dunno. I think a 55 min drive might be too much.

It might be with kids. I think it depends on the type of drive too. I hated my shorter time distance commute more than the longer one. I was stuck either in bad traffic around the beltway or going through less than stellar areas of the city to get to work. It was way more aggravating to me than my current commute. More hassle and congestion.

[muttleynfelix]

For a summer, I commuted an hour (50 miles) one way. It wasn't too bad, especially since the first 2/3 was all rural highway. 2 days a week, I stayed in town after work and had class (after work I would go work out on campus, have supper, then go to class) and get home around 9pm and had to leave for work at 7am the next day. I was glad it was only for a summer. With kids, 30 min is about my max. I'm at 20 min (20miles) now and that works really well for me, but I'm not willing to do it on the weekends. It doesn't make any sense to me to take almost an hour away from my kids going into town when I could work from home.

[Cookies Galore]

DF has a roughly 15 minute commute, all highway. I have a 35 minute transit ride, including one transfer. We live within the right amount of convenience for both of our jobs. I am a 5 minute drive from my preferred transit line, but I can easily walk to the regional rail line if needed (gets me to work and home later, though). Since I take public transit, I prefer the live in an area with multiple lines to choose from. Luckily, it works for us both.

[kittensaver]

My 28 mile (one way) commute takes 35-45 minutes, depending on traffic and time of day. A bad accident could make it soar to 60+ and-up minutes, but fortunately that is extremely rare. I drive a long way, mostly freeway, but go against the regular commuter pattern; otherwise it wouldn't work for me. I was willing to commute much longer distances when I was younger, building a career, going to grad school at night, etc.

I agree that sometimes life circumstances dictate a commute. I know very few people who would be quick to a house and a community they love every.few.years. while they zig-zag through jobs and building a career. Single folks yes, but not those with spouses and children and family stability as important factors to consider.

[Deleted]

At my old job, before the co moved, I had a 45-60 min commute each way in very heavy traffic. If there was an emergency and I needed to get home outside of rush hour, it was about 25 min. It was seriously soul-sucking. I'd get in early and leave early. People who get in later than you (like your boss) always see when you leave, but they don't necessarily see when you arrive.

I left that job because the co moved and I had a 1 3/4 hour commute each way. The co was in bad financial shape so they offered payouts to people who lived more than an hour away. I took a payout.

Now I work 30 min door-to-door. Five min drive to the closest train station, 15 min on the train, five min walk to my school. It is the shortest commute I have ever had in my life (I'm 52). It's totally life-changing! There's no build-up of fatigue from the commuting like there was before.

The other thing I have found is that as housing becomes more and more expensive, the affordable places get more crowded, and the traffic gets worse every year.

It's something to keep in mind if where you want to move to is a growing community. What is 55 min away now may well become 1h15min in a few years.

I think it's probably do-able but it would definitely be my maximum commute, and it is seriously soul-sucking. If I could I'd rather pay more to live closer to work.

Other issue: do you guys work in opposite directions? If you do, at best, you're both going to be 45m from work.

[constanz22]

My current commute is 20-25 minutes, 17 miles door to door, almost all highway. I wouldn't want it much longer. It's fine most of the time except winter can suck. My old house was less than 5 minutes. It was awesome. Usually the same song was on the radio when I pulled out of my driveway and pulled into the parking lot at work. I also often went home for lunch or stopped home during the day as I have a fairly flexible schedule at work. It was pretty convenient living that close, but, I like where I live now better, so, it is tolerable.

The farthest commute I had was about 40 minutes, and that was only because they moved the location of our office. I didn't stay too long after they moved us...maybe a year.

[Opti]

Personally I don't like commutes more than 45 minutes one way, but
hopefully your hubby is old enough to know what he can and can not live with for years at a time.

Commuting sucks, no doubt about it, but sometimes it's the least bad option.

All that said, people with commutes and no kids are completely crazy. Unless you've got some sweet deal where you can live with your parents rent free, still have mom cook and clean for you, and commute to a job where you make decent money and hoard all of it. In that situation I'd totally commute as a single guy. Otherwise screw it. I'd live as close to work as possible even if that meant a really dumpy apartment.

This is OT from the OP, but I feel many people who are married have an unrealistic view of what they really would be willing to do if they remained single for 10, 20 or more years. It does depend on who you are and how you want to live. For me, work is not the be all and end all. Also, my jobs seem to last 2 to 3 years. Moving is too much of PITA for me to want to spend money to move to be close to work every single new job. It would be one thing I suppose if I was climbing the ladder like Cawiau but for me everytime I move I need to set up new routes for groceries, church, shopping, doctors, etc. Your commute is only part of your work life. Some people in NJ and NYC have outrageous commutes because for them what happens on the weekend is more important. Also they like myself are not really keen on living near highways or roads with speed limits of 40 mph or greater.

So in the end it does come down a little to the OP. If the commute gives you the community and location you desire it might be a good tradeoff. Only you two can answer that. I have worked with people who commute 1 1/2 hours one way so there are people who do it and do it for years.

[Sum Dum Gai]

This is OT from the OP, but I feel many people who are married have an unrealistic view of what they really would be willing to do if they remained single for 10, 20 or more years.

I'm sure. When I picture myself single it's through the lens of an old married guy who's spent over a decade watching his soul die. My real single self would have never experienced that and would probably be too much of a dumbass to appreciate the sweet deal he's got going on. Sad really. That poor bastard is wasting the best years of his life and constantly whining about having the freedom to do whatever the hell he wants, just so he can get booty on a more regular basis and have somebody hogging all the covers while he sleeps. What an idiot.

[midjd]

So, tell me about your commute.

52 miles one-way, about an hour door-to-door (unless traffic or bad weather). Three years in August and I'm not tired of it yet... BUT:

1) I like driving
2) I travel a lot for work - so I'd be driving anyway
3) The drive is scenic (especially during fall), all highway, and doesn't have much traffic
4) I like my job
5) My car gets 40+ mpg and DH is a mechanic so I can drive hoopties and have them repaired cheaply.

If any of those were not true, I'd probably recommend against it. But as it is, we were able to afford a nice house in a city we love, within an hour's drive of 3 major job markets, good schools, closer to family, yada yada. I have zero desire to live in the city where I work or the town where I grew up. And working in a MCOLA while living in a LCOLA has some benefits that balance the commuting costs.

Downsides - I can never justify a new/newish vehicle because I'll put 100K miles on it in under 4 years. If gas prices shoot to $8/gallon, I'm in trouble. And if I leave something important at the office, I'm SOL

[Phoenix84]

I'd be hesitant to do much more than 30 minutes one way. I figure 1 hour per 24 hours is more than enough commuting time.

Right now I live about 10 minutes away from work, it's nice.

[TheOtherMe]

For about 20 years, I spent over an hour a day commuting in the Denver area. I loved the 2 years I worked in the office and got to take the bus as I could totally zone out on the bus ride to and from my car.

That drive really took it out of me as the years passed and I got older. I think it would have been harder if I have been married and had children, but co-workers in those circumstances did it.

I had grown up watching my father get up very early to get to work on time and I had the same habit. I was rewarded for making it to work on time on snowy days by being told to leave early when storms hit in the afternoon. That was how I knew my bosses and their bosses were aware of my efforts in bad weather. I'd be the only one in the office, taking calls from everybody else that they would be in when they got done shoveling, etc. They couldn't be bothered setting their alarm early enough to make it on time.

I only had one horrendous 3 hour commute in the snow and that was because I was going to a meeting at a client's and didn't have anywhere to go early. He was shocked when I actually showed up.

I did have the 9 hour bus ride from hell on solid ice. I will never, ever forget that ride. We were the last bus they let leave Denver that afternoon. At least I had a seat.

[Deleted]

I did a 55 minute (1 hour and 15 minutes) when I was in graduate school. I only worked part-time so it wasn't every day. And I was young. Oh, and it was the only choice I had.

Several years ago I bought a house in a somewhat adjacent community that was turned out to be a 45-minute commute in heavy traffic. It was a two-lane road, and everyone was going the same way. I sold that house, and the now ex-BF and I moved to a house that is 15-20 minutes (heavy traffic) from my job. My work is on the way to everything else so if I need DH to take me (car in shop, etc.), it is pretty much on his way to wherever he wants to go.

I LOVE living this close to work. I had several teaching jobs that were long commutes. For me, it wasn't just the work hours. There are things you have to go back to , and it is hard to do that again with a long commute.

[Opti]

Oct 16, 2012 19:13:44 GMT -5 Sum Dum Gai said:

This is OT from the OP, but I feel many people who are married have an unrealistic view of what they really would be willing to do if they remained single for 10, 20 or more years.

I'm sure. When I picture myself single it's through the lens of an old married guy who's spent over a decade watching his soul die. My real single self would have never experienced that and would probably be too much of a dumbass to appreciate the sweet deal he's got going on. Sad really. That poor bastard is wasting the best years of his life and constantly whining about having the freedom to do whatever the hell he wants, just so he can get booty on a more regular basis and have somebody hogging all the covers while he sleeps. What an idiot.

So it is OK to ask Loop to slap you?
You need to do some reading both on never married guys(die younger than average) and married men who didn't let go of their dreams just because they were married and supporting a household.
You already know there is no perfect life and that if you were single at the age you are now it is different from being single at 20 or 60.

[Sum Dum Gai]

You need to do some reading both on never married guys(die younger than average)

Sweet! I have more money to spend on myself and need to save less for retirement. Twofer!

So it is OK to ask Loop to slap you?

It would probably be easier to just set up a daily auto email type deal. There might be a couple days I don't really deserve it, but they'll be balanced out by the days I deserve a totally thorough ass kicking.

[Apple]

My job is 45 miles from home. If I drive myself, it takes 40 minutes (all freeway, very rarely any traffic--every now and then you get stuck behind someone who won't pass or pull over, but you're still going about 60 mph, unless he's a really big dumbass). We have a vanpool though, and we pick up guys in another town, so that takes about an hour (from when I leave the house to when I walk in the door). Most of the time it's not so bad. Yes, it would be nice to not have to drive so much, but I like where I work (most of the time) and like where I live, so it's worth it to me. Unless I'm working overtime I only have to do it four days a week, so that helps too.

[giramomma]

My commute is 7 miles. If I drive straight to work, it's about 15-20 minutes. I wouldn't commute any longer than that. I have 3 kids, two are in school. I generally am at the school to volunteer 2-4 times a month. If I had a long commute time, I'd either have to stop volunteering or use up my vacation time to go into the school. Same thing with well baby visits, etc.

I also live in a state with snow, and honestly, driving 30 minutes in the snow is enough for me. I wouldn't want to drive 2-3 hours one way in bad weather.

[Deleted]

Wrongside, I had a long commute in that area and I hated it. As you are well aware in that state there are 2 seasons: Winter and Construction. 94-696-96 All ROADS FROM HELL to have long commutes on.

[Deleted]

I drive 2 blocks. DH drives about 20 min and where he works is also an area we do a lot of shopping so we go over there anyway even on off days. A hour or more drive a day would get to be a drag. That's 2 hours a day, day after day. It is wearing. We used to have longer commutes but now having done it, i would buy a lesser home to have a much shorter commute. I would rather have more free time to myself and time to do other things than just sit in a car. 35 min isn't bad but an hour is pretty long. If having free time to pursue hobbies, be home for dinner, not feel so rushed is important, i would suggest looking at something closer. Location, location, location.

[wvugurl26]

If I lived 2 blocks from work I'd be in the ghetto. People get shot and kidnapped in broad daylight around here. No thank you! I happen to like my job so I commute. I lived about as close as you can get and be in a safe area and didn't like it. I still had a 30 min commute in awful traffic.

I am happier with living where I do and driving a hour to work each way. I have the benefit of commuting against traffic. My increased commuting costs are less than the $600 I cut my living expenses by with the move.

My other option would be to switch agencies and take the train into DC everyday. Now that I think would wear me down in a hurry.