spydah
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Post by spydah on Sept 11, 2012 13:43:44 GMT -5
My friend got dumped 6 months ago. She is still sad and has not moved on. I understand it is up to her to move on, regardless of what others tell her.
What is the best advise you received that helped you move on? Or what helped you move on?
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Sept 11, 2012 13:57:44 GMT -5
I've always figured the best thing I can do in this situation is to try to organize mutual friends to provide distractions for the individual. Get togethers at one another's homes, going out for lunch, or dinner, a movie, bowling ... whatever. If you can get her out with friends doing things that will keep her mind off the past she'll recover more quickly and it will give her an opportunity to meet people (if others invite friends she doesn't know).
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Sept 11, 2012 14:00:33 GMT -5
Six months isn't very long when you've lost someone you love. Mmhmm had a great suggestion in that sitting at home being sad isn't productive, but give her time. Sometimes a person needs to be alone for awhile to reflect on what went wrong, their part in what went wrong, and figuring out to not have it happen again.
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spydah
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Post by spydah on Sept 12, 2012 23:32:39 GMT -5
They weren't together more than 2-3 months. She hung out with me and a few friends last weekend. We are taking her dancing this Friday. Progress is slow but it is moving forward. Thanks for the replies.
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mmhmm
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It's a great pity the right of free speech isn't based on the obligation to say something sensible.
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Post by mmhmm on Sept 12, 2012 23:57:54 GMT -5
It's good news she was willing to hang out with friends last weekend, spider. That means she's not sitting around feeling sorry for herself all the time, and is willing to make the effort to get out, meet folks, enjoy her friends, and start over. Progress is going to be slow, at first, but she'll get in the groove soon, I'm sure. It's good to have friends who care!
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PK Bucko
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Post by PK Bucko on Sept 13, 2012 8:51:07 GMT -5
They weren't together more than 2-3 months. She hung out with me and a few friends last weekend. We are taking her dancing this Friday. Progress is slow but it is moving forward. Thanks for the replies. She's neurotic. Tell her to get professional help. They were together 3 months...
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 13, 2012 9:01:00 GMT -5
3 years. The old wive's tale is 1 month for every year together, so she must be doing it backwards.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 13, 2012 9:04:52 GMT -5
You can only be supportive but a person has to find the way themselves. Some people simply choose to wallow in all their past regrets and problems. There is a time in life though when you sit up and realize that all you have is today and that isn't even certain. But, some people never do. You can listen for a while but i do not think ruminating about an issue forever and ever is helpful either. Talk about it for awhile, get the feelings out and then you have to move on as best you can.
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PK Bucko
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Post by PK Bucko on Sept 13, 2012 9:05:02 GMT -5
3 years. The old wive's tale is 1 month for every year together, so she must be doing it backwards. Have mercy. You mean I'm in for a 19 month recovery!!! I don't think I'll let it last that long. LOL
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 13, 2012 9:06:51 GMT -5
You could have been working it out for the past year already! ;D
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PK Bucko
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Post by PK Bucko on Sept 13, 2012 9:10:07 GMT -5
You could have been working it out for the past year already! ;D HA! I think we need more perspective on the OP. Like if this is a high school break up or something.
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spydah
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Post by spydah on Sept 13, 2012 20:45:37 GMT -5
She's in her mid 30s, he's in his late 20s. Rumor has it she's gonna get professional help.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 13, 2012 20:52:49 GMT -5
3 years. The old wive's tale is 1 month for every year together, so she must be doing it backwards. Have mercy. You mean I'm in for a 19 month recovery!!! I don't think I'll let it last that long. LOL Call Bob and go doggin'.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Sept 13, 2012 20:53:48 GMT -5
Don't bring up dating with her, unless she brings up the subject. You & her other friends take her around town to do different things. Does she like professional sports? Does she have any interests or hobbies? Just getting her out of the house when she's in the mood makes you a good friend.
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Post by jarhead1976 on Sept 13, 2012 21:40:23 GMT -5
Pint of whiskey and a six pack. Get over it. Bed, whoops, bet anybody here she is back in the saddle in a month.
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ZaireinHD
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Post by ZaireinHD on Oct 4, 2012 19:01:32 GMT -5
I have not been too successful with this. If your friend lives alone it will be even harder for her to move on. I try laughter, with my friend. The problem is when she gets home and she is alone she can't stop with the memories. So I do speak with her often if not everyday. But once our conversation is over .....so until your friend can move to the next there really is not much you can do to get her mind past dude.
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grits
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Post by grits on Jan 28, 2013 10:13:22 GMT -5
I don't know what to tell you. It was a 2-3 month thing, 6 months later and she is still in a funk? Maybe, counseling would help. She may have much deeper pain, and this triggered it. One of my coworkers has to go see a therapist every time the latest in her life leaves. She just isn't happy when she doesn't have a man.
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weltschmerz
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Post by weltschmerz on Jan 28, 2013 17:59:57 GMT -5
I don't know what to tell you. Sometimes the old adage holds true. "If you're thrown off, the best thing to do is to get back on the whores."
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