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Post by Deleted on Feb 20, 2011 15:40:22 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Feb 20, 2011 15:41:57 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Feb 20, 2011 15:43:31 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Feb 20, 2011 15:47:04 GMT -5
don't fib to wifey or your gf Attachments:
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Post by Deleted on Feb 20, 2011 15:49:55 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Mar 16, 2011 7:57:53 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Mar 16, 2011 8:00:03 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Mar 16, 2011 8:45:14 GMT -5
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Post by yclept on Mar 22, 2011 12:56:17 GMT -5
A Jack Daniels Fishing Story
I went fishing this morning but after a short time I ran out of worms. Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth. Frogs are good bass bait.
Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket..
Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit. So, I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth. His eyes rolled back, he went limp. I released him into the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog.
A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot. There was that same snake with two frogs in his mouth.
Life is good.
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Post by yclept on May 6, 2011 11:17:44 GMT -5
A former Sergeant in the Marine Corps took a new job as a high school teacher. Just before the school year started he injured his back. He was required to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body.
Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noticeable. On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school.
The smart aleck punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former Marine, were leery of him and he knew they would be testing his discipline in the classroom.
Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he picked up a stapler and stapled the tie to his chest.
Dead silence. He had no trouble with discipline the rest of the year.
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Post by yclept on Jun 30, 2011 11:52:01 GMT -5
There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink – when a large, trouble-making biker steps up, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.
"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly.
"Come on, man," the biker says.
"This is the worst day of my life," I say.
"I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me.
When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance.
I left my wallet in the cab I took home.
I found my wife with another man and then my dog bit me."
"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all.
I just bought a drink, and dropped a capsule in and am sitting here watching the poison dissolve; then you show up and drink the whole thing!
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