My Cawaii thread

[Deleted]

My wife took my kids shopping at the outlets for new school clothes. I asked her how much she spent and she told me $200. I look at the credit bill and it is $600.

How mad should I be? Should I file for divorce?

[Opti]

I don't know. But if you want our resident expert's help perhaps you could spell his name correctly in the thread title?

[Green Eyed Lady]

Maybe she misunderstood the question.

[Deleted]

Aug 22, 2012 9:55:19 GMT -5 Green Eyed Lady said:

Maybe she misunderstood the question.

ROFL!

[Green Eyed Lady]

Well? It's possible. You men don't always ask the right ones. Maybe she thought you meant, "How much did you spend on underwear and socks."

See?

[Deleted]

Aug 22, 2012 9:57:18 GMT -5 Green Eyed Lady said:

Well? It's possible. You men don't always ask the right ones. Maybe she thought you meant, "How much did you spend on underwear and socks."

See?

Yeah, maybe that is what she thought. LOL.

[Green Eyed Lady]

Could be a hundred explanations.


And I've used them all.

[midjd]

Take it out of her allowance

[Deleted]

What are your general rules for making independent spending decisions? As an example, if I went out shopping for a pair of $300 shoes, I'd tell DH and he'd say, "Good". If I came home with 2 pair because I couldn't make up my mind, he'd still say, "Good" because we can afford it and he knows I've figured out how to fit it into the budget and still take care of our financial priorities.

If spending another $400 really throws off your financial priorities and she didn't call you and let you know, then yeah, you need to talk. And the fact that she told you $200 and it's $600 would really be a red flag. I've never lied to DH about what I spent even though I manage all the finances and he'd never know.

[Green Eyed Lady]

See? There you go. You men. You automatically assume she's lying when it's probably all a biiiiiiig misunderstanding.

[Deleted]

Aug 22, 2012 9:59:02 GMT -5 @rj said:

Aug 22, 2012 9:51:38 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

My wife took my kids shopping at the outlets for new school clothes. I asked her how much she spent and she told me $200. I look at the credit bill and it is $600.

How mad should I be? Should I file for divorce?

Take away the credit card for lying

I am not her dad.

[midjd]

And why do your kids need school clothes? Aren't they like 1 and 3?

[Deleted]

Aug 22, 2012 9:59:24 GMT -5 midjd said:

Take it out of her allowance

I am not her dad.

[Waffle]

Maybe $200 was at the outlet mall and $400 was elsewhere. I'm with the you must have asked the wrong question camp.

[Deleted]

Aug 22, 2012 9:59:48 GMT -5 @athena53 said:

What are your general rules for making independent spending decisions? As an example, if I went out shopping for a pair of $300 shoes, I'd tell DH and he'd say, "Good". If I came home with 2 pair because I couldn't make up my mind, he'd still say, "Good" because we can afford it and he knows I've figured out how to fit it into the budget and still take care of our financial priorities.

If spending another $400 really throws off your financial priorities and she didn't call you and let you know, then yeah, you need to talk. And the fact that she told you $200 and it's $600 would really be a red flag. I've never lied to DH about what I spent even though I manage all the finances and he'd never know.

We each can spend as we see fit. I always give her the "evil eye" whenever she spend money, though, so she doesn't like to tell me what she spent.

[shanendoah]

Maybe $200 was on the kids' school clothes and $400 was on a gift for you...

[midjd]

Seems like a stupid thing to lie about if she knows you're going to see the CC bill... or did she count on paying it off before you noticed?

Have you discussed it with her at all?

[Deleted]

Aug 22, 2012 10:00:23 GMT -5 midjd said:

And why do your kids need school clothes? Aren't they like 1 and 3?

yes. But each are growing out of their clothes and we must not have enough hammydowns left.

[Green Eyed Lady]

Maybe $200 was on the kids' school clothes and $400 was on a gift for you...

Now don't you feel badly?

[Deleted]

Aug 22, 2012 10:04:45 GMT -5 midjd said:

Seems like a stupid thing to lie about if she knows you're going to see the CC bill... or did she count on paying it off before you noticed?

Have you discussed it with her at all?

No. I just sent her an email that said.

"sheesh. Don't tell me you spent $200 when you spent $600."

[milee]

Aug 22, 2012 10:04:10 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

Aug 22, 2012 9:59:48 GMT -5 @athena53 said:

What are your general rules for making independent spending decisions? As an example, if I went out shopping for a pair of $300 shoes, I'd tell DH and he'd say, "Good". If I came home with 2 pair because I couldn't make up my mind, he'd still say, "Good" because we can afford it and he knows I've figured out how to fit it into the budget and still take care of our financial priorities.

If spending another $400 really throws off your financial priorities and she didn't call you and let you know, then yeah, you need to talk. And the fact that she told you $200 and it's $600 would really be a red flag. I've never lied to DH about what I spent even though I manage all the finances and he'd never know.

We each can spend as we see fit. I always give her the "evil eye" whenever she spend money, though, so she doesn't like to tell me what she spent.

So it sounds like she's operating perfectly within the defined system them. What's the problem?

[Green Eyed Lady]

LOL yep thats its, Someone elses fault

Correct!

[Green Eyed Lady]

No. I just sent her an email that said.

"sheesh. Don't tell me you spent $200 when you spent $600."

Ok. Now are you sure you understood her correctly? Were you watching a game on the tv and maybe THOUGHT you heard her say $200 when she really said $600. They do sound a lot alike.

[lurkyloo]

I think the problem is Archie doesn't make enough money. His wife should divorce him and find someone who makes more.

[midjd]

Didn't this happen before, with furniture or something?

If all you do is give her the "evil eye" when she overspends, she probably figures whatever she's getting for the money is worth you being mad briefly.

[Deleted]

Aug 22, 2012 10:08:16 GMT -5 midjd said:

Didn't this happen before, with furniture or something?

If all you do is give her the "evil eye" when she overspends, she probably figures whatever she's getting for the money is worth you being mad briefly.

yes and yes

[Deleted]

I know that my actions have helped create the system we have, but it still pisses me off when what she tells me is that much different than what she actually spent. Usually the two numbers are closer together.

[midjd]

I think that would piss most people off.

Why don't you talk to her about it? Just because this is the system you have doesn't mean things can't change.

Otherwise I suspect as your girls get older (and more expensive) a lot of resentment will build.

[milee]

I was joking in my prior post because I know a lot of your posts are tongue in cheek, but reading your response on how your actions helped create the system you have, think maybe there's at least a subtext of real frustration there.

If so, want to talk about it? What do you think would be a good solution? Is this something where you and your wife agree 98% of the time and most of the time you can live with the 2%, but now you're thinking the 2% is more of an irritant than you thought? Or are things changing and going down a road you see ending badly?

[thyme4change]

Have you taken into account that women are bad at math?