qofcc
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Post by qofcc on Aug 18, 2012 7:56:07 GMT -5
I don't do facebook much, but it is nice to have a way to easily contact people i don't see much and not worry about if they moved and changed their phone numbers. Occasionally I run across someone I had lost touch with and we get a chance to catch up.
But what do you do when you don't want to be friends? If it's someone I don't know, I just ignore them. I've also unfriended people who posted things that offended me.
I went to a class reunion recently and a girl I went to HS with just sent a request and I didn't like her then and have absolutely no desire to be friends with her now, but now I'm feeling guilty for hitting the ignore button.
If she was stuck up or bitchy I probably wouldn't feel bad, but she was just a really annoying person with no social skills. I have no idea why she came to the reunion. If people had treated me as bad as they treated her, a HS reunion would be the last place I'd want to go. (I was never mean to her, but I didn't go out of my way to be friends with her either.) I told my dad about her showing up and he said, wow he remembered her as being particularly awkward and thought she must have been struggling back then with being gay and not knowing it. I guess I'm totally clueless because I didn't see it back then, but it's obvious now that it's been pointed out to me. But that's not why I don't want to be friends with her. She's still incredibly awkward, appears to have some mental or neurological issue going on and she got falling down drunk and was behaving totally inappropriately.
Getting a friend request from someone like that is like when a mangy stray cat starts hanging around the house. I feel sorry for the cat, but I don't want to do anything to make it hang around.
I'm probably over thinking this, but does anyone else feel awkward about friend requests?
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 18, 2012 7:59:22 GMT -5
Not at all. Sme posters may remember that some of the women that pretende to be my friends were sleeping with my then husband. Somehow they got the idea that we should be friends now since I'm divorced from him. Uh, no, you sneaky conniving bitch, I do not now or ever want to be friends with you. I got some excellent responses from posters on how to handle it, they were very funny, and I shared them with DD, but I also took the high road and just ignored them.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 18, 2012 8:04:53 GMT -5
No idea, didn't want to even find out. I was so shocked at the first request that I just ignored it after laughing with DD who also got the same request. The second woman really hurt me and that's when I asked what to do on the forum.
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Post by BeenThere...DoneThat... on Aug 18, 2012 8:14:39 GMT -5
...my vote is to ignore the request and let it sit in your queue, in case you change your mind... or click ignore and unless she sends you another request, you won't see her... ...I've found that many friends play their FB cards very close to the vest... many more are very open with their FB activity... to each his own... ...iow, I wouldn't over think it... ...and hey, you can always add her, dunk her in your "high school" smart list, and not have much interaction with her... but she's there to recruit for the planning committee next time around...  edited typo |
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Aug 18, 2012 8:23:05 GMT -5
I'd probably accept it and then block her posts from my newsfeed.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 18, 2012 8:29:30 GMT -5
I'd probably accept it and then block her posts from my newsfeed. I just learned how to do this last week  |
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 18, 2012 8:40:15 GMT -5
If I could find it, there was a poster who had th funniest post about what I should say. That woman was hysterically funny and clever.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 18, 2012 9:00:23 GMT -5
I would not accept a friend request in zib's case. I'm not going to allow someone that I actively dislike into my life that way.
But if it is someone that I am just not interested in or a casual acquaintance, I tend to just accept. I'm not inviting them over for dinner, I'm not even accepting their FarmVille request. But I don't care if they want to thumbs up my posts from time to time.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 18, 2012 9:21:42 GMT -5
LOL! Your friends come in tons?  LOL!!! I like 'em big....  you do realize "she" (MM) is 598 lbs, right? |
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Formerly SK
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Post by Formerly SK on Aug 18, 2012 9:30:00 GMT -5
I'd probably accept it and then block her posts from my newsfeed. I just learned how to do this last week How do you do this? And, can the person tell you've blocked them? I have a bunch of people I want to block but don't want them to know. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 18, 2012 9:37:30 GMT -5
How do you do this? And, can the person tell you've blocked them? I have a bunch of people I want to block but don't want them to know. Click on the person you want to block, and somewhere in the drop downs the option is there. Can they see . Yes kind of. When you block someone, they can no longer search for you, or see anything you have ever posted, and you cant see them. So if the understand what they arent eeing yes. no, I think they can still see you, just you can't see them (unless you go pacifically to their FB page) I know a dude I blocked like this (posts a lot of rants) has posted once or twice on stuff I posted (I hope this is what happens, otherwise I'll have some 'splaining to do) |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 18, 2012 9:38:01 GMT -5
you do realize "she" (MM) is 598 lbs, right? I'm down to 596 3/4 lbs dammit!!!!  Atkins? |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 18, 2012 9:42:26 GMT -5
no, I think they can still see you, just you can't see them (unless you go pacifically to their FB page) I know a dude I blocked like this (posts a lot of rants) has posted once or twice on stuff I posted (I hope this is what happens, otherwise I'll have some 'splaining to do) No, If you block them, they are gone oh sorry, I meant block them from your news feed only (there is an option for that) I am pretty sure it only stops their posts from coming in youtr news feed, not vice versa |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 18, 2012 9:58:05 GMT -5
Blocking is different than just setting them so you can't see what they post on your newsfeed.
We do lots of family communication on FB, so I don't accept a lot of people on there. Just close friends that it's okay for them to see what is going on in family/personal life.
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goldensam
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Post by goldensam on Aug 18, 2012 11:03:50 GMT -5
You can also set up "lists" with custom settings. For example, I have several coworkers who have sent friend requests and I don't want to offend them, so I accept. I know some of the things I post may offend them and I don't want to hear about it at work, so I put them on a list and set specific privacy settings for that list (i.e., they can see some albums, only certain posts, etc.).
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Aug 18, 2012 12:16:35 GMT -5
I just learned how to do this last week How do you do this? And, can the person tell you've blocked them? I have a bunch of people I want to block but don't want them to know. You can either completely block them like Rick described, and they can't e en find you on FB, or you accept their friend request and you block their newsfeed so you're still listed as a friend but you don't have to see their drivel. To block posts, when a pst of theirs appears on your wall, go to the upper right corner of their post, click on a drop down menu and you'll see an option to "unsubscribe from posts from Susie" and you click on that. |
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Aug 18, 2012 20:02:09 GMT -5
I have grouped people on FB: Family, real life friends. high school friends and Beatles friends. Over half my friend list is Beatles friends. About a month ago now, one of the Beatles "friends" sent me a PM on FB coming on to me really strong. I had never communicated much with him. He had been married to a friend of mine and this message said that they had talked about it and she thought the two of should get together. This set my crazy person radar off so I called her. They had never discussed me and he had treated her extremely poorly during their so-called marriage. I blocked him. I do have several people blocked and have a reason for doing so with each person. I also have people that "share" way too much, so I have them hidden. I'm sure I upset people on FB also. I do try to be careful there. I post very little that is truly personal. I leave that for here where I know none of you in person. |
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Post by femmefatale on Aug 19, 2012 23:16:35 GMT -5
I'd probably accept it and then block her posts from my newsfeed.  |
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beags
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I'm not a psychopath. I'm a high functioning sociopath, do your research.
Joined: Nov 29, 2012 22:24:40 GMT -5
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Post by beags on Aug 20, 2012 11:59:32 GMT -5
The only friend requests I ignore are those who I don't want to be friends with . . . . and those who I work with. It's not that I don't like my co-workers but everything gets spread around the office or workplace and then you have the backstabbers who would use something innocent you said, twist it, and try to get you fired. I don't want those problems. It's not that I post anything about work on there . . . it's not that I have anything in my personal life that I'm embarrassed over . . . it's that I don't believe everyone in my workplace has the right to know what is going on in my personal life or what my other friends are doing. If I wanted them to know, I would tell them.
There's just too many problems that happen when you allow co-workers to be your friends on facebook.
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beags
Well-Known Member
I'm not a psychopath. I'm a high functioning sociopath, do your research.
Joined: Nov 29, 2012 22:24:40 GMT -5
Posts: 1,035
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Post by beags on Aug 20, 2012 12:03:16 GMT -5
You can also set up "lists" with custom settings. For example, I have several coworkers who have sent friend requests and I don't want to offend them, so I accept. I know some of the things I post may offend them and I don't want to hear about it at work, so I put them on a list and set specific privacy settings for that list (i.e., they can see some albums, only certain posts, etc.). LOL I don't care if I offend them. . . . my answer is always this . . . . . I make it a rule to not friend co-workers. I've been burned by it before, and I'm not willing to go through that again. Most people understand and aren't offended and if they get offended, they will get over it. As I stated, I simply don't care if I offend them. It's my personal space they want to invade, I should be able to have a say in that. My settings are on private for a reason. |
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