susanb
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Post by susanb on Jun 29, 2012 15:20:20 GMT -5
In an obvious attempt to deflect a little bit of the discomfort from the drinking thread, I have made a list of things bad parents do. Here is my partial list 1. Feed their children meat - more meat leads to higher risk of cancer 2. Not feed their children meat - kids need protein! 3. Smoke - 2nd hand smoke, 3rd hand smoke, increased chance (2x) of kids smoking if their parents smoke 4. Discipline kids too harshly - higher rates of criminality 5. Not discipline kids enough - higher rates of unbearable human beings 6. Feed kids juice - oh, the sugar! 7. Feed kids junk food - oh, the sugar and toxins! 8. Not feed kids junk food - how will they learn to self regulate 9. Let them watch TV - oh, the brain cells they are losing 10. Home school - oh, the freaks they will be 11. Send them to private school - oh, the entitlement issues they will have 12. Send them to public school - oh, the serial killers they will become 13. Pay for their college - how will they ever learn to become financially independent? 14. Not pay for their college - they will become modern day slaves, trapped by debt.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jun 29, 2012 15:27:07 GMT -5
You forgot the oldie but goodie formula vs breastmilk; disposable vs cloth and sah vs working parents.
And the up and coming Vacinate or not. Cows milk vs other milk (but not breastmilk) and carrying/wearing your baby vs not.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 29, 2012 15:28:38 GMT -5
Good one susanb!
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Jun 29, 2012 15:29:25 GMT -5
I'll add
15. Make them finish what they started - you're forcing your kid to be miserable
16. Not make them finish what they started - how will they ever learn about commitment and follow through?
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Jun 29, 2012 15:31:34 GMT -5
Didn't we do this on the "I'm a bad mom" confession thread?
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susanb
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Post by susanb on Jun 29, 2012 15:32:09 GMT -5
Thanks, Shooby.
Good points Shanendoah.
Beth, thanks for the help....
17. Use disposable diapers. oh, the planet
18. Formula - do I even need to comment?
19. Let your kid sleep in your bed - can you say boundary issues?
20. Not let your kid sleep in your bed - can you say attachment disorder?
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susanb
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Post by susanb on Jun 29, 2012 15:32:59 GMT -5
Didn't we do this on the "I'm a bad mom" confession thread? I don't know. I wasn't around for that. Also, I want to bash dads and moms.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Jun 29, 2012 15:34:13 GMT -5
My kids are perfect - dispite my horrid parenting skills, and my status as an insufficient person.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jun 29, 2012 15:35:48 GMT -5
Didn't we do this on the "I'm a bad mom" confession thread? I don't know. I wasn't around for that. Also, I want to bash dads and moms. But that was EE. And in March. So we're due. Anyway, it was more a list of personal failings than anything else, at least on my contributions...
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susanb
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Post by susanb on Jun 29, 2012 15:36:28 GMT -5
My kids are perfect - dispite my horrid parenting skills, and my status as an insufficient person. 21. Think your kids are perfect - how will they ever improve?
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Jun 29, 2012 15:38:13 GMT -5
22. Think your kids aren't perfect - self-esteem issues here we come!
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Malarky
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Post by Malarky on Jun 29, 2012 16:11:51 GMT -5
My kids are perfect - dispite my horrid parenting skills, and my status as an insufficient person. I am studiously ignoring #'s 21 and 22. ;D
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jun 29, 2012 16:14:58 GMT -5
#23 Live in one place their entire lives - how will they ever learn to be comfortable with change and expand their social network?
#24 Move while they're young - better get ready for the massive therapy bills that they'll have later as a result of their lack of stable childhoods!
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jun 29, 2012 16:16:54 GMT -5
#25 Get divorced - Will destroy their whole worldview, and they'll never have a healthy relationship as adults.
#26 Stay in a bad marriage for the kid's sake - Way to put all the guilt on the kids for their parents not being happy. They'll never develop a healthy view of relationships or have one of their own.
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susanb
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Post by susanb on Jun 29, 2012 16:25:28 GMT -5
27. Raise them in a small town - they will never fulfill their potential wandering around a village of idiots, bereft of culture
28. Raise them in a city - exposure to urban evils will surely end in cannibalism
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Jun 29, 2012 16:34:32 GMT -5
I feel like there should be:
3.5 - NOT smoke. Smoking teaches kids how to do without; as they will frequently NEED to do without in order to afford to keep smoking.
I would also posit that one of the things bad parents do is actually have kids, or more kids, in the first place.
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susanb
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Post by susanb on Jun 29, 2012 16:38:12 GMT -5
I feel like there should be: 3.5 - NOT smoke. Smoking teaches kids how to do without; as they will frequently NEED to do without in order to afford to keep smoking. I would also posit that one of the things bad parents do is actually have kids, or more kids, in the first place. Amazing point. Number 1 should be 1. Have kids. Not having kids is something that bad human beings do. Having kids is something that bad parents do.
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Apple
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Post by Apple on Jun 29, 2012 16:42:12 GMT -5
I don't know. I wasn't around for that. Also, I want to bash dads and moms. But that was EE. And in March. So we're due. Anyway, it was more a list of personal failings than anything else, at least on my contributions... I'm trying to remember who started it so we can link to it here. Y'all might think we're immature, but we're funny as hell
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jun 29, 2012 16:42:54 GMT -5
Not having kids is something that bad human beings do. Having kids is something that bad parents do. Whoa there. Haven't you seen how overcrowded the planet is? We're using up pretty much every resource we can get our hands on faster than they can be replenished. The only responsible choice is not to procreate.
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susanb
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Post by susanb on Jun 29, 2012 16:46:22 GMT -5
Not having kids is something that bad human beings do. Having kids is something that bad parents do. Whoa there. Haven't you seen how overcrowded the planet is? We're using up pretty much every resource we can get our hands on faster than they can be replenished. The only responsible choice is not to procreate. True.... Not having kids is the responsible thing to do, ethically and environmentally. However, not having kids still means you are a bad human being. Not having kids renders you a selfish and pathetic person who will never understand love, not really. You will become a bitter old person with a bad personality. You will die alone. Also, you will never understand what it means to be busy.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jun 29, 2012 16:49:32 GMT -5
Well sure, you'll never really understand a true life long emotional bond with another human being, since romantic relationships pale in comparison, but I object to the inclusion of the word selfish. Not having kids is the only non-selfish decision we can make with regards to the planets dwindling resources and all. The selfish ones are the people who feel their DNA is just far too important to pass on to let a little thing like global overcrowding get in the way.
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susanb
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Post by susanb on Jun 29, 2012 16:58:09 GMT -5
Well sure, you'll never really understand a true life long emotional bond with another human being, since romantic relationships pale in comparison, but I object to the inclusion of the word selfish. Not having kids is the only non-selfish decision we can make with regards to the planets dwindling resources and all. The selfish ones are the people who feel their DNA is just far too important to pass on to let a little thing like global overcrowding get in the way. Okay, you are right. Parents are selfish for wanting a mini-me. I am also right. Non-parents are selfish. Their choice not to have kids is selfless, but it is one selfless act. Parents are self-less all of the time. Constantly sacrificing sleep and resources for their kids. This makes them superior human beings. So, for the course of humanity and the planet, non parents are less selfish, but their personalities are horridly selfish. Evaluated as an individual personality, parents are much better and less selfish human beings.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jun 29, 2012 17:07:59 GMT -5
Uh... I guess.
Speaking as a parent though, we like to make a big deal about how much we give up for our kids, but we're happy to do it, and get a certain amount of respect, admiration, etc., from our peers for our sacrifices, so I could argue that parents are completely selfish and just talk a big game.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 29, 2012 17:13:59 GMT -5
I feel like there should be: 3.5 - NOT smoke. Smoking teaches kids how to do without; as they will frequently NEED to do without in order to afford to keep smoking. I would also posit that one of the things bad parents do is actually have kids, or more kids, in the first place. By this logic, by recognizing I should not be a parent, I am actually being an amazing parent. Reason #647 I should not be a parent: Wisconsin Beth mentions wearing your baby, and my first thought is "you mean, like a hat?"
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susanb
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Post by susanb on Jun 29, 2012 17:21:17 GMT -5
Uh... I guess. Speaking as a parent though, we like to make a big deal about how much we give up for our kids, but we're happy to do it, and get a certain amount of respect, admiration, etc., from our peers for our sacrifices, so I could argue that parents are completely selfish and just talk a big game. You are right. I have completely lost focus here. The entire purpose of this thread was to bash parents. I can bash non-parents some other time on some other thread. Anyhoo, back to parental failings.... 29. Focus on academic achievement - learning should be fun! If you take the fun out of learning your kids will not do as well in school 30. Not focus on academic achievement - obviously, your kid will be poor (the horror!) if they don't excel in pre-school
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InsertCoolName
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Post by InsertCoolName on Jun 29, 2012 17:28:43 GMT -5
If you take out "student loans" for your child's preschool you're awesome and care.
If you take out "students loans" for your child's preschool and then come talk about it on YM you are a stupid human being who shouldn't have gotten knocked up when you couldn't afford any kids to begin with or else you would have had all the billions and billions needed to have said child.
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susanb
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Post by susanb on Jun 29, 2012 17:34:45 GMT -5
Shut the front door. Did someone really take out student loans for pre-school? and then write about it on a money message board?
If the answer is yes, could someone please tell me who/what/when so I can find this thread of delicious goodness?
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Jun 29, 2012 17:38:55 GMT -5
I feel like there should be: 3.5 - NOT smoke. Smoking teaches kids how to do without; as they will frequently NEED to do without in order to afford to keep smoking. I would also posit that one of the things bad parents do is actually have kids, or more kids, in the first place. By this logic, by recognizing I should not be a parent, I am actually being an amazing parent. Reason #647 I should not be a parent: Wisconsin Beth mentions wearing your baby, and my first thought is "you mean, like a hat?" They look breakable to me so I didn't want to risk it. ;D
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jun 29, 2012 17:45:45 GMT -5
Student loans for pre-school? Where do you even find such a thing? How does the re-payment work? Does the kid have to work so many hours in a child sweatshop after pre-school graduation to pay it back or what? Tooth fairy money? I mean.... it just doesn't make any sense.
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Golden Cavalier
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Post by Golden Cavalier on Jun 29, 2012 18:50:58 GMT -5
Holy crap, that actually made me laugh out loud! Thanks, Crafty!
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