Things Bad Parents Do

[Deleted]

Jun 29, 2012 18:50:58 GMT -5 Golden Cavalier said:

Reason #647 I should not be a parent: Wisconsin Beth mentions wearing your baby, and my first thought is "you mean, like a hat?"

Holy crap, that actually made me laugh out loud! Thanks, Crafty!

Maybe more like a yoke. Or a saddle. Or even a ball and chain, like the jokes about spouses.

[InsertCoolName]

LOL I would hope that no one would ever admit to it. But not really student loans. Just taking out a loan to pay for pre-school. There has been several articles on the net over this new thing, always in NYC, in the past couple of years. There was also one in the recent past about parents taking out loans to pay for extra tutoring. I have no clue if they have been published in mags or papers as I do not buy those, but I'm sure it would be easy to find with google.

[Deleted]

I shouldn't be a parent...selling my children to gypsies is sounding more and more appealing. There are a lot of gypsies here. I wonder what the going rate is for PMSing teenage girls AND boys (yes boys!)

[zibazinski]

When they are teenagers, you have to PAY people to take them.

[Deleted]

crap

[zibazinski]

Sorry.

[Sum Dum Gai]

When they are teenagers, you have to PAY people to take them.

Teach them to juggle and ride a unicycle. Then pay one of their friends to casually mention how awesome it would be to run away and join the circus. Problem solved.

The paying a friend to mention the circus part is really important. You're their parent, and thus the least cool person on the planet. If they know the idea comes from you they'll never do it.

[Deleted]

Bad parents have only one kid. I've been told this when I mention DS will be a one and only.

[Deleted]

Bad parents have too many kids. Anyone having more than 2 is self indulgent and doesn't care about the planet.

[Deleted]

I am a really bad parent...we have 4 kids. BUT I didn't give birth to them all! I only gave birth to 2! Two other women gave birth to the other 2! (Ha...that makes my husband sound like a Manwhore!!!!)

[svwashout]

My guess is the most common problem in the US is overproviding--
www.newyorker.com/arts/critics/books/2012/07/02/120702crbo_books_kolbert?currentPage=all

[Apple]

Jun 30, 2012 9:04:56 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

When they are teenagers, you have to PAY people to take them.

I tell my 14-year-old son I should have sold him when he was two-and-cute. *sigh*

I am giving him out for labor though, I'll have next weekend child free so he can help my sister

[Deleted]

My guess is the most common problem in the US is overproviding--
www.newyorker.com/arts/critics/bo....currentPage=all

That was an interesting article, sv. DH really pushes DS to be independent. DS is three and gets himself dressed in the morning, will sometimes make his own breakfast, puts on and off his harness in his carseat, etc. It's nice.

[Apple]

Jul 1, 2012 9:32:21 GMT -5 @anne81 said:

My guess is the most common problem in the US is overproviding--
www.newyorker.com/arts/critics/bo....currentPage=all

That was an interesting article, sv. DH really pushes DS to be independent. DS is three and gets himself dressed in the morning, will sometimes make his own breakfast, puts on and off his harness in his carseat, etc. It's nice.

I also liked the article, and it's sadly very true. I am trying to raise DS to be prepared to be off on his own in 4 years, but even I can do better and expect more from him (some people think I expect too much and don't coddle him enough).

[taz157]

Jul 1, 2012 12:17:25 GMT -5 Apple said:

Jul 1, 2012 9:32:21 GMT -5 @anne81 said:

My guess is the most common problem in the US is overproviding--
www.newyorker.com/arts/critics/bo....currentPage=all

That was an interesting article, sv. DH really pushes DS to be independent. DS is three and gets himself dressed in the morning, will sometimes make his own breakfast, puts on and off his harness in his carseat, etc. It's nice.

I also liked the article, and it's sadly very true. I am trying to raise DS to be prepared to be off on his own in 4 years, but even I can do better and expect more from him (some people think I expect too much and don't coddle him enough).

I have a co-worker who has an almost 18 year old and I think she cordless him too much at times. The biggest thing I can think of: When applying for college, she made sure everything was done instead of letting him do it. FWIW, when I was his age, I did everything myself and asked her if I had any questions, but I was still responsible for it.

[happyhoix]

31) Be a helicopter parent. Your child will be 35 and living in your basement. And shoeless, unless you tie his shoes for him.
32) Let your kid wander around loose in the world without your constant vigilence. He will be abducted by mountain people and/or killed by a terrorist assault at the Wendy's.
33) Make your kid go to church. Brainwashing! How will he ever learn to think for himself??
34) Don't make your kid go to church. He'll fall prey to the first cult that comes along, drink the poisoned coolaid and wind up in hell at the right hand of Satan.
35) Be a soccer mom or baseball dad and force your kid to excel at the activity you picked for him. He'll end up a 35 year old drunk with bad knees who feels like a failure because he never made the pros.
36) Don't push your kid in sports. Instead of spending healthy time at the ball field learning how to be part of a team he'll spend all that free time driving around with the local punks, smoking cigerettes, swigging cheap beer and burning houses down.
37) From my own personal 'dueling grandparent advice' archive - make that baby wear an undershirt, he'll catch cold without one, babies need to be wrapped up even in the hottest weather.
38) Take that undershirt off that baby, can't you see he's all sweaty and about to faint from heat stroke?

[shanendoah]

39) Be the biological parents of their child - lets not even talk about the "save the earth" aspect, do you know how many kids are out there that need homes? I mean really, having your own child is like buying a pet from a breeder instead of getting one from the shelter.

40) Adopt a child (as a first option) - OMG, how more can you fail as a mother? First, how can you even think you're mature enough and dedicated enough to be a mom if you aren't willing to be pregnant? And then, there's the chance you won't take the hormones (after all, we've seen by the refusal to be pregnant that you're not cut out to be a mom) in order to breast feed your child. They'll grow up dumb and unattached.

[Deleted]

I think the key to being a parent is that going to one extreme or the other either way seems to be the biggest problem. Seems like the key is finding the balance between teaching your kid that they are special and teaching your kid to get over themselves and stop being so self centered!

[zibazinski]

Good luck with that. I seem to have failed big time.

[Deleted]

That is why i love the show "The Middle". The parents are in the Middle. In the middle of the country, middle age, in the middle between the kids . Just too dang funny! My kids say i am exactly like the main character (Patricia Heaton) who plays Frankie Heck. She is always waffling between being too soft on the kids and to feeling like she is too tough or not doing enough. She never strikes that balance, and neither do I. One of the funniest episodes was "They Yelling" where she was trying to tape her kid's obnoxious behavior, but it ended up showing how much she was yelling like a banshee at them! LOL

[Wisconsin Beth]

I had a good one over the weekend and now I can't remember it.

[InsertCoolName]

We will always be a bad parent. It's either some random person saying it, or parents saying it, your in laws saying it or your own children saying it. No matter what you do. No matter what you don't do. Always be a bad parent.

[Firebird]

Buahahaha karma for you, susanb!

Okay, off to read now.

[Firebird]

33) Make your kid go to church. Brainwashing! How will he ever learn to think for himself??
34) Don't make your kid go to church. He'll fall prey to the first cult that comes along, drink the poisoned coolaid and wind up in hell at the right hand of Satan.



Seriously, LOL.

40) Adopt a child (as a first option) - OMG, how more can you fail as a mother? First, how can you even think you're mature enough and dedicated enough to be a mom if you aren't willing to be pregnant? And then, there's the chance you won't take the hormones (after all, we've seen by the refusal to be pregnant that you're not cut out to be a mom) in order to breast feed your child. They'll grow up dumb and unattached.

shanendoah - have you actually heard people say this?!??!

Okay, my contribution.

41) Let your kids work in high school. How else will they learn the value of a buck? Also, where else are you going to find beer money on short notice?

42) Don't let your kids work in high school, you fucking moron. They're already taking twelve AP courses, learning to ride unicorns over rainbows, becoming trilingual, and playing first chair in the symphony. They don't need any extra pressure from you

[shanendoah]

FIrebird: The stuff about breast feeding- read anything from La Leche League, and yes, all mothers should breast feed, even if they have to take hormones to do so.
As for the "you're not cut out to be a mom because you're not willing to be pregnant" yes, I've seen that. Not directed at me, but I've read those kinds of comments about women who others believe are choosing not to be pregnant (often women who are using surrogates). It doesn't occur to anyone that these women may have medical issues they don't want to advertise to the world, they just assume that they don't really understand what it means to be a mom because they aren't "willing" to be pregnant. In my case, there are no underlying medical issues that I'm aware of, I really am just not willing to be pregnant. So obviously that will make me a bad parent. *shrug*

I really am more amused by these kinds of comments than anything.

[Firebird]

I really am more amused by these kinds of comments than anything.

You're a better person than I am. I'd be fucking pissed at that implication. Like I said, I think that adopting is much MORE selfless than self-replicating. I wish I wanted to do it, but I am one of the bad parents who is seriously hung up on the experience of having a biological child. And I'm okay with that meaning I'm more selfish. I figure, at least I'm having them on purpose

ANYWAY. Disgusting rhetoric.

[zibazinski]

I didn't breast feed either kid. Just wasn't my thing. They both have IQs above 130 so they aren't idiots. One can't manage their money and one can't do laundry, I'm sure it's because they have no emotional attachment to their mother!

[shanendoah]

I don't want to get into the breast feed/bottle feed argument. I think that as long as you do the right thing for the mother, the kid is going to turn out okay. For women who really want to breast feed, I'm glad the hormone option is there if they aren't pregnant themselves.

My point really was, someone, somewhere, is going to call you a bad parent, no matter what you do. And you really do just have to let it slide. It's much easier (and healthier for me) to be amused by it all than to let what other's think of my decisions actually have an impact on how I live my life.

Firebird: And there's nothing wrong with that. I don't think your selfish for wanting the full on experience, for wanting a child that is biologically yours. That's what most people want. It's normal. It's natural. It's the continuation of the species.
Just like I'm saying over in the Respect thread, it has to be what works for you as an idividual and as a family. I think the only time the answer is wrong is if it's the wrong answer for you.

[Firebird]

My point really was, someone, somewhere, is going to call you a bad parent, no matter what you do. And you really do just have to let it slide. It's much easier (and healthier for me) to be amused by it all than to let what other's think of my decisions actually have an impact on how I live my life.

This is true.

Just like I'm saying over in the Respect thread, it has to be what works for you as an idividual and as a family. I think the only time the answer is wrong is if it's the wrong answer for you.

And I respect that viewpoint, even if I can't entirely share it. I do think it's healthier in some ways, but there are some things I just can't get behind, no matter how well they work for other people. They are too damaging.