sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Jan 27, 2011 15:58:58 GMT -5
anne- until DH was diagnosed as bi polar and started his half a dozen medications he was terrible with money. When he was manic it was spend spend spend. Now that everything is level he is very frugal. Plus he is pissed at his mom- because he was diagnosed as a teen and she told the doctor he was full of crap and refused to allow him to be medicated. So he didn't get re-diagnosed and medicated until he was 34.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 27, 2011 16:05:50 GMT -5
sheila - something similar happened to my ex too. His father, sister and grandfather are all obviously bipolar. They kept telling my ex that he just had ADD. He didn't get the help he needed until he lost his job (had been earning 70k in IT) and ended up homeless and suicidal. Then they gave him antidepressants - and you know how that goes sometimes for bipolar people.
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floridayankee
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If You Don't Stand Behind Our Troops, Feel Free to Stand in Front of Them.
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Post by floridayankee on Jan 27, 2011 16:24:13 GMT -5
I am not much of a keeper- Believe me, I can say you really are and I don't even know you. If I did anything like this I'd likely never see DW (or my "boys") ever again. Your DH needs to be reminded of just how lucky he really is. Besides, I think you all are keepers....iffin you can put up with us guys.
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Jan 27, 2011 17:20:24 GMT -5
FloridaYankee- Thanks for saying that. Most guys are good guys and worth the trouble annie: yeah, until you correct the original imbalance- the anti-depressants will just make it all much much worse.
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pepper112765
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Post by pepper112765 on Jan 27, 2011 17:40:50 GMT -5
I'm not quite sure how one can term a person a sex addict if he is basically having an emotional affair with someone, whether he is a recovering or not. To me, that relationship was not about sex, since they only saw each other 3 or 4 times.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 27, 2011 20:26:14 GMT -5
Emotional can be even more painful than physical. "Certain" women really get off on the fact that someone else's husband is now sharing everything with them that they should be sharing with their wife. Even to the extent of bragging to you about it, like they just can't "help" that your husband prefers their company over yours.
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cronewitch
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Post by cronewitch on Jan 27, 2011 20:34:48 GMT -5
My friend was the other women for a married man for decades. He a traveling man who came to town every few months. She kept seeing him through two or three of her marriages. She had another married man friend a great many years too. She was just using them for sex but with a long term relationship they do form a bond of sorts. Of course if they decide to break up their homes and be together they at least know not to expect faithful. A women who expects the married man to his wife, children, grandchild and home for her is delusional and even if she wins the prize isn't so great.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 28, 2011 15:44:35 GMT -5
It happens more than you think and very rarely do they live happily ever after. But sometimes, they do. I know of two that did. The rest divorced again.
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Post by Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ on Jan 28, 2011 16:31:13 GMT -5
This has been on my agenda for a while. There seems to be a lot of latitude for how much you're supposed to spend and the quality of the mistress.Correct me if I am misinformed but I am under the impression the reason to have a mistress is so you don't have to waste time and money on pointless BS and talking about irrelevant topics.
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ihearyou2
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I smell better then I look
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Post by ihearyou2 on Jan 28, 2011 16:51:59 GMT -5
This has been on my agenda for a while. There seems to be a lot of latitude for how much you're supposed to spend and the quality of the mistress.Correct me if I am misinformed but I am under the impression the reason to have a mistress is so you don't have to waste time and money on pointless BS and talking about irrelevant topics. Misinformed, NEXT!
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Post by Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ on Jan 28, 2011 17:01:36 GMT -5
Misinformed, NEXT! ROFLMAO...
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upstatemom
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Post by upstatemom on Jan 28, 2011 20:21:03 GMT -5
Yes , hang onto your balls because by the time your wife and girl friend are done with you that's all your going to have left. If I ever did that, I wouldn't even have them according to DW. Here is some Karma for your DW! I agree with her
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ktunes
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show your world to me...
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Post by ktunes on Jan 29, 2011 3:06:39 GMT -5
go ask tiger...
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 29, 2011 3:59:29 GMT -5
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ktunes
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show your world to me...
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Post by ktunes on Jan 29, 2011 4:50:45 GMT -5
it's all relative...i meant it as a joke
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 29, 2011 4:52:43 GMT -5
it's all relative...i meant it as a joke my bad
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haapai
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Character
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Post by haapai on Jan 29, 2011 7:50:32 GMT -5
Don't be embarassed. It's important to talk about how the costs are back-loaded.
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Post by ummboutthat on Jan 29, 2011 10:58:57 GMT -5
This has been on my agenda for a while. There seems to be a lot of latitude for how much you're supposed to spend and the quality of the mistress. Is housing required, or is it just expensive trips and baubles? I'm really trying to keep the recurring costs down to a minimum and trying to spend on specific items so my expenses correlate to the benefit I get. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I was thinking of similar...and thought I can only pay what I can afford. once she starts wanting or making requests and not just letting me give it to her at my own kindness...I would have to rethink is she worth the trouble.
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Jan 31, 2011 17:30:48 GMT -5
...:::"But of course I can barely afford my wife, let alone a mistress":::...
Then again, if the mistress becomes wife #2, but is better with money and costs you less, the affair might actually SAVE you money in the long run.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Feb 1, 2011 12:52:55 GMT -5
Sheila--I'm almost afraid to ask how she died. Hoping for your sake she wasn't HIV positive. Met a woman some years back who contracted HIV from her ex, and didn't know it until their baby was diagnosed with it. Might be wise for both you & your husband to get checked, since you said she was kinda crazy...
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Feb 1, 2011 14:45:59 GMT -5
busymom- Nope she was an anorexic, diabetic, alcoholic, smoker with a family history of heart problems. Had a heart attack at 35.
After I learned of the affair we both had a complete medical work up done- complete with STD panels.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Feb 1, 2011 15:12:30 GMT -5
These situations are such a mess. DF's ex had an affair with her married manager who decided to stay with his wife even though DF's ex walked away with millions and a McMansion. She's pitiful and DF wants nothing to do with her but I think is secretly glad she is suffering the way he did when she flaunted it at him. When I met him he was reeling from the emotional damage she had inflicted upon him. So there's 2 people in pain. IF the manager's wife found out, there's 3 people hurting. It's neverending and painful.
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tloonya
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What status?
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Post by tloonya on Feb 1, 2011 16:45:24 GMT -5
You have to start with a cheap mistress and work your way up as you get richer. Good Luck finding one. And no. I am not available.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Feb 1, 2011 21:50:42 GMT -5
Sheila--You're a smart girl! P.S. If DH EVER even thinks of cheating again, smack him on the back of the head with a stack of benjis, & send him on his way!
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Feb 1, 2011 22:20:40 GMT -5
Cost my husband WAY more to win back my love and affection then he spent on his mistress. She had her own place that she paid for but he paid for airline tickets for her to come see him and him to go see her. Paid for hotel rooms, etc. All I know is it wasn't worth it and 3 years later I still don't trust him 100%. Does help that the mistress did pass away 3 months after my restraining order was granted. So at least I know she won't be coming back out of the woodwork again. Because oh yeah- fun fact- after I insisted they end their relationship she started stalking me and my son. So it cost me in regards to court time and serving her papers, etc. You had to insist that your husband stop cheating on you? Maybe it's just me, but I think you would have been better off kicking his sorry ass to the curb.
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Feb 2, 2011 9:27:38 GMT -5
misstequila: That's how the "other woman" saw the situation. I kicked DH out that day and it was quite a while and a lot of therapy before I let him move back in. It was her opinion that she was in injured party and I was the big old meanie that was ruining her life. She became a complete psycho and would call the house at all hours, send 100's of emails a day to me, mail letters and packages to my son, etc. If we had had a bunny I am pretty sure it would have ended up in a cooking pot given her mental state at the time.
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verrip1
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Post by verrip1 on Feb 2, 2011 12:46:31 GMT -5
This has been on my agenda for a while. There seems to be a lot of latitude for how much you're supposed to spend and the quality of the mistress. Is housing required, or is it just expensive trips and baubles? I'm really trying to keep the recurring costs down to a minimum and trying to spend on specific items so my expenses correlate to the benefit I get. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. So sad that people aren't focusing on poor IHOP's dilemma. Look at it this way. If you were going to drive from San Francisco to LA and didn't want to drive that old clunker you own, would you lease a car or rent one? Of course, the economies show that you should rent. Now, that lease might just have the lines, style and color that you like, but it carries all sorts of routine maintenance costs. Some quite expensive and unexpected. Plus it gets boring after a while driving the same old thing all the time. Now rentals are a completely different matter. You can pick a new one anytime you feel the urge to drive. Maybe a yellow one today, a black one tomorrow and a white one on Fridays. Sometimes you might feel like having a wiiiiiiide wheelbase. Other times you might want big bumpers. Choices!!! Also, rentals carry a fixed cost. No maintenance or other variable longer term costs. Just fill 'er up as needed. Now, it only makes sense, of course, to carry a very solid insurance policy on a rental because you just never know where they have been. Good luck!
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