Teen Mom

[Formerly SK]

May 26, 2012 19:19:36 GMT -5 The Home 6 said:

May 25, 2012 17:16:36 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

Maybe the answer is to discourage keeping the baby.

Maybe the answer is forced (or covert) birth control for your teenaged girls.

I'm sorry to just jump into the conversation like this, but I was having a discussion with some Army spouses about an upcoming deployment, and the subject of birth control for the females came up. I said that I was going to invent the "Depo-pen" (picture the "epi-pen" but loaded with the Depo shot) and market it to the Army for all company commanders and battalion commanders.

"OOPS, did I accidently stick you? It's cool, just epinephrine...."

Bam. No unintended pregnancies on deployment. Just ignore the civil rights violations...

Let's take it a step farther - give every 13yo one of those 10 year implants and prevent all pregnancies until age 23. Think of the savings to society if an entire generation of kids couldn't procreate until they're solidly in adulthood. Pesky civil rights laws....

[Angel!]

May 29, 2012 7:10:53 GMT -5 happyhoix said:

However in watching a few of these types of shows I've been astonished at how many of these teens would rather have an abortion than give their baby up for adoption. They say they don't want to think about some 'stranger' raising their child for them, and never knowing if the baby was well taken care of.

Ok so having an abortion is better than that? I don't get it.

I would prefer abortion to adoption, as was discussed briefly in another thread. I don't expect people to agree with me or even understand me. I think it is far too personal of a decision to judge how others would handle it.

But, for me - I could not emotionally handle giving up a child. I just couldn't do it. Emotionally it would be far easier for me to have an early abortion & thus give up a 6 wk old bean that never had a face or gender than to carry a baby for nine months look him/her in the eyes & then say goodbye.

Sure, it would be hard either way. But I am not religious, I don't believe a sack of cells has a soul or was put here for some reason by god. So, while I will surely have the regret & wonder what could have been, it would still be easier than adoption for me.

I could see how others would feel differently.

[swasat]

May 29, 2012 9:32:44 GMT -5 Angel! said:

I would prefer abortion to adoption, as was discussed briefly in another thread. I don't expect people to agree with me or even understand me. I think it is far too personal of a decision to judge how others would handle it.

But, for me - I could not emotionally handle giving up a child. I just couldn't do it. Emotionally it would be far easier for me to have an early abortion & thus give up a 6 wk old bean that never had a face or gender than to carry a baby for nine months look him/her in the eyes & then say goodbye.

Sure, it would be hard either way. But I am not religious, I don't believe a sack of cells has a soul or was put here for some reason by god. So, while I will surely have the regret & wonder what could have been, it would still be easier than adoption for me.

I could see how others would feel differently.

Angel, I feel EXACTLY the same way. There is no way I can give birth and give up the child. But again, like you, I am not religious and don't believe that a bean is a living being with a soul.

[michelyn8]

May 25, 2012 12:22:39 GMT -5 movingforward said:

I hate it when the scripted shows have teen moms on them and everything turns out just hunky dory. I can think of at least 3-4 shows off the top of my head (a couple being on ABC Family) where a teenager has a baby and everything turns out just fine. I am sitting there like

They make it look like it is no big deal to have a baby.

You must be talking about Secret Life. I watched the first season and then refused to watch anymore. It wasn't so much everything is hunky dory attitude that got me as much as it was the constant talk about sex. Not to mention I was getting to hte point where I really wanted someone to bitch slap Amy's whiny ass.

Also, to me the whole support/acceptance attitude of the adults was unrealistic. DD2 was 19 when she got pregnant and I was not the least bit calm about it. When she complained to her sister about how mean I was about it all, she was reminded that I have very strong feelings about her type of situation and had made that clear to them their entire lives (I was 17 when I had their brother and always preached they shouldn't have children until they were able to support them on their own).

[taz157]

May 29, 2012 10:30:33 GMT -5 michelyn8 said:

May 25, 2012 12:22:39 GMT -5 movingforward said:

I hate it when the scripted shows have teen moms on them and everything turns out just hunky dory. I can think of at least 3-4 shows off the top of my head (a couple being on ABC Family) where a teenager has a baby and everything turns out just fine. I am sitting there like

They make it look like it is no big deal to have a baby.

You must be talking about Secret Life. I watched the first season and then refused to watch anymore. It wasn't so much everything is hunky dory attitude that got me as much as it was the constant talk about sex. Not to mention I was getting to hte point where I really wanted someone to bitch slap Amy's whiny ass.

I wanted to bitch slap Amy too! You were young, had sex, and got pregnant. Grow up and deal with it! Then her every changing feelings with Ricky and Ben. Gag me with a spoon! The only idea of what's going on is the commercials for the new episodes...

[sheilaincali]

It became a lot harder for MTV to push the "struggling to survive" angle when it was reported to the courts during one of Amber's many court appearances that she made somewhere in the neighborhood of $250,000 that year for the show. That's not celebrity, superstar money but $250,000 is more than double what DH and I make annually. So given that she has just herself and occasionally (when she doesn't lose custody) of her baby to pay for I find the "oh poor is me" act tiring.

Plus from what I recall very few of the teen mom's actually work. A couple have part time jobs but most have that unrealistic "I don't want my kid in daycare" attitude and stay at home all day with the kids. It's hard to feel sorry for them and try to imagine they are struggling to make rent when they drive a different car every season and all have smart phones, ipads and big screen tv's.

[movingforward]

May 29, 2012 10:51:12 GMT -5 sheilaincali said:

It became a lot harder for MTV to push the "struggling to survive" angle when it was reported to the courts during one of Amber's many court appearances that she made somewhere in the neighborhood of $250,000 that year for the show. That's not celebrity, superstar money but $250,000 is more than double what DH and I make annually. So given that she has just herself and occasionally (when she doesn't lose custody) of her baby to pay for I find the "oh poor is me" act tiring.

Plus from what I recall very few of the teen mom's actually work. A couple have part time jobs but most have that unrealistic "I don't want my kid in daycare" attitude and stay at home all day with the kids. It's hard to feel sorry for them and try to imagine they are struggling to make rent when they drive a different car every season and all have smart phones, ipads and big screen tv's.

Yeah, this is my problem with so called reality shows. They are so far removed from reality that I don't find them even remotely entertaining. It always just appears to be people seeking their 15 mins of fame to me and I just can't get into them.

[sheilaincali]

The same thing with some show that WE tv had about this Brady bunch type family in Arizona. You know that they got paid for doing the show as soon as the episodes aired. They did some smarter things with their money but frankly I got so frustrated with it I stopped watching. The kids were dumpster diving to find things to sell, one kid sold his prized baseball glove and all the while the mom is drinking $4 a pop iced coffees multiple times a day.

I thought it would be informational and interesting instead it was neither.

[muttleynfelix]

I use to watch 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom, but after 2 seasons of Teen Mom I couldn'take it any more.

That said, the teen pregnancy rate fell dramatically the year after 16 and Pregnant was shown. (And yes, a study was done to show that it was a major contributing factor for such a large one year drop). So, I think it serves a good purpose showing kids how hard it is. 16 and PRegnant is easier to show the kids struggling because it is for shorter time frame and I don't think the kids get paid until after they are done filiming. After the first season of Teen Mom, the girls actually have some money and it is hard to show the "struggling" factor except in their F-ed up relationships.

[Firebird]

Not that I don't think abortions should be illegal. Just a poor second choice to adoption, all things being equal.

I agree with you. But on the other hand, you can make a strong case for it being much "easier" and "cleaner" than adoption - especially for a teenager. You don't have to go through nine months of pregnancy (which sucks pretty bad even when you want the baby and get to keep it at the end) or deal with the problematic bonding to an infant that's going to be given away, you don't have to deal with judgment from friends and family, you don't have to get shit at school, you can still go to your prom or whatever...

Like I said, I agree. But I don't think many teenage girls are emotionally stable enough to go through an entire pregnancy and give up the baby at the end. And I don't know if them raising the child on their own is better.

Teen pregnancy just sucks.

I guess I'd never heard that rationalisation for shoplifting - God would approve because I'm shoplifting this jewelry to give away/take care of my babies.



She had to provide both the banana and the condoms out of her out pocket because they school district wouldn't pay for condoms since it went against their "abstinence promise to the parents".

She better be careful. According to my teacher friends, teachers can lose their jobs for much less. If she's supposed to be teaching abstinence and she doesn't toe the line, she could be in for a world of hurt.

[sheilaincali]

FB- Yeah she had to get permission from the school board to have that lesson plan. They gave her permission but wouldn't fund the lesson. So she stood in front of each class hour that day and put one condom on one banana so each class could see how it was done but she didn't have the personal budget to allow for the kids to do the exercise themselves.

[Firebird]

Ah, I see. Well, karma to her (via you for paying for it out of her own pocket. That shows integrity. Abstinence only is a crock of shit.

[sheilaincali]

FB- that's our opinion as well regarding the abstinence only teaching method. I was pretty pissed that they were pushing abstinence and was afraid she was going to gloss over STD's and contraception but judging from what DS had to say she did a decent job of covering everything. They even had a few days they spent on "relationships" and talked about warning signs that you or a friend might be in an abusive relationship and what to do/who to tell, etc. I have been meaning to send the teacher an email thanking her for her efforts. Plus they all had a day in which they could put any question they had into a comment box (anonymously of course) and she would read and answer every question they had. WOW did those kids have questions, but according to DS she answered every single one of them.

I am sure there will come a day in which the Boy is less willing to talk to us about things but so far so good. He has no qualms about discussing pretty much everything with us over the dinner table. This sex ed section at school has really allowed us to have some good discussions with him.

[thyme4change]

I watched 16 and Pregnant this weekend. After watching about 30 minutes or so, my husband said "I'm not sure I can take much more of this." So, I turned to a Law & Order re-run.

[Firebird]

They even had a few days they spent on "relationships" and talked about warning signs that you or a friend might be in an abusive relationship and what to do/who to tell, etc. I have been meaning to send the teacher an email thanking her for her efforts.

Wow, please do! That's incredible.

We did the anonymous question thing too. I think that part should be mandatory. I forget what I asked, but it was something I never in a million years would have had the guts to ask aloud or even Google

Teaching my kids to have a healthy and safe attitude about sex is one of the parts of parenting I'm almost dreading, because it seems so freaking impossible at times.

[sheilaincali]

Basically most of the questions were ones that would have made your average EEer proud DH kept trying make up acts and telling DS he should ask the teacher what it was to see what kind of answer she'd give. There were a few along the lines of "can you get pregnant the first time?" "can you get pregnant if you do it in a hot tub?" "standing up" and then the questions about what various sex acts are (69 for example- sorry if that's graphic- it was an actual question a kid asked).
DS said she kept a straight face and answered every single one of them. A few she admitted that she had to google because she had never heard some of the questions before.

Firebird- you will be a great mom the secret is to make the time to talk to your kid every single day! Every day no matter what. We don't talk about sex and drugs every day but probably 2 days out of 7 we do. Other days we talk about religion, politics, families, etc.

[Firebird]

Firebird- you will be a great mom the secret is to make the time to talk to your kid every single day! Every day no matter what. We don't talk about sex and drugs every day but probably 2 days out of 7 we do. Other days we talk about religion, politics, families, etc.

Thanks. That makes me feel better. I do like to talk - probably too much, the key for me will be in learning to listen.

[thyme4change]

sex and drugs every day but probably 2 days out of 7 we do. Other days we talk about religion, politics, families, etc.

We talk about farting and school work. Is that not what I'm suppose to be talking about?

[sheilaincali]

thyme: We get plenty of those talks in too. I live with two boys (DH and DS). Trust me- I have heard my fair share of stories about farting and video games, etc.
The Boy is not normal- I accept that. He is wicked smart and has this amazing brain that can process information faster than anyone I have ever met. Even from a young age he would want to discuss history, politics, religion, etc. He is still a teenage boy so we get to hear about zombies, farts, etc.
We were at my nephew's bday party on Sunday and got to talking about home schooling kids. They jokingly suggested that I home school the Boy. Told them I couldn't because he was already smarter than me.